did you ever have someone NOT be supportive?

my mum is the exact same!

sure she may not exactly be supportive about ANYTHING i do but she is so jealous of my weight loss!

jealousy is a awful thing hun...
She will come round... and if not... im sure you have friends who will love you for you and be happy for you rather then snide at you xx

ha, she's just a jealous b!tch.

So sorry you're going through this. I don't think there's anything you can do to make her less angry at you. I think deep down she's jealous that you've been able to succeed. Just keep doing what you're doing and hope she comes around.

I would guess she's reacting like this cos she's jealous of your success and doesn't know how to handle it. Tell her she doesn't need to be the "gigantic firend" and encourage her to make healthy choices....perhaps guide her towards MFP or whatever weight loss tools you've used. Just say it's worked for you and you will help and support her if she wants to give it a go.....perhaps she wants to lose weight but is afraid to ask for help. If she doesn't take you up on the offer and continues her attitude, it may be an idea to give her a wide berth for a bit.

Good luck to both of you :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Sue x

well, you cant make her less angry, she has to be happy with herself first before she can be happy with anyone else...

Unfortunately, you can't fix someone's insecurities, so there is nothing you do will make her less angry. She's upset b/c of how she feels about herself, but this is not a reflection on you. Of course best friends should be supportive, but sometimes they can't be happy for others. When my best friend saw me after losing 35 lbs, her only comment to me was, "Oh, your coat looks a little big on you." I went down almost three sizes and all she would say was my coat was a little big? I had to chalk it up to her being an insecure pill. Be proud of what you're doing and keep up the good work!

Sound like she is taking her own insecurities out on you. Remind her this is for your health and self esteem. Like the old saying, "misery enjoys comapny." Dont let this affect your goals! Maybe she see how much better you look and feel and follow your lead to get healthier!

Maybe you could get her to join in with you? Maybe take an exercise class together or go for walks in the evenings something like that. She is jelous and probably annoyed that you're losing the weight and shes stuck. I know I get jelous very easily when friends lose a bit of weight, and I know some friends are the same when i lose weight, i get comments like "you're too skinny now, go eat a sandwich" etc etc, I think its in a womans nature to be slightly jelous lol.

The only thing you can really do is what you have already done. Talk to her about it, how it is annoying you how she isnt supportive and how you would really like her to be happy for you!

I have had this with friends too-not in the same way. I guess I was always the bigger friend.

I get it with one friend mainly when goign round for dinner. She won't tell me what we are having, so I can't plan ahead, she pretends to not know like its a last min decision and whinges when I don't put extra things like mayo on the side (I don't even like mayo!).

I now don't talk about weightloss or diets in front of her.....as it only ignites the 'you set yourself goals that are too high' or you are jsut setting yourself up for failure. I have lost 47lbs so far-being sensible, eating healthy, balanced foods, not eating packaged crap and working out. It's not like I am starving myself or doing a fad diet.

It is frustrating-especially when you feel like you are doing so well.

You can't. You can only control the way you feel. She's not being a good friend to you anyway. If she wants to lose weight she can do something to change her life. Making you stay heavier than you want to be so she can feel good about herself is ridiculous.

You're not doing anything wrong to her. This is her own issue. She needs to get over it.

I would say get her involved. Maybe if she joined MFP aswell you could lose weight together, then she won't be bitter.

Oh yes, I've had a lot of this sort of thing. Except that most of the time, people round me have not been so open and honest about the source of their unsupportiveness. I think your friend's candour about her pain is actually a positive sign.

The short answer is, as a pair of competent adults, your friend's feelings and behaviours are her responsibility and yours are your own. This is her issue. The healthiest, friendliest thing you can do is to let her know that you understand her distress by saying something like, "Yes, I can see how much that's upsetting you". And then leave her to sort her own head out in the way that's best for her. You don't have to get deeply involved in easing her angst - to do so would not make you a better friend. In my experience that just increases the risk of the relationship going wrong.

Just validate her feelings and be there for her when she comes to terms with them, I'd say. Good luck.

just be blunt with her.. just say something like "if you're not happy then change it" its not your fault.. it is an obvious case of jealousy.. maybe give her a hand?

Good luck!

Sounds like your friend, probably feels worse about HERSELF because your not overweight and she's REALLY big compared to you , kinda envious and/or jealous. This is very common Im sure.... I have a mother-in-law who told me Id NEVER be a size 6 again , I have always been thin , until now due to a thyroid problem (which she thinks I dont have) And she saw my 10lb dumbells on the floor and thought they were her son's /my husband ...I said no, those are mine...She about had a heart attack...she asked me why I lift weights and i said "because muscle burns fat" she said "you better think again girl" and got up and said she had to go. She's from the old school and doesnt have a clue about fitness , She is overweight , and my sister-in-law is also a thin hater-for lack of a better better word she always says "whats wrong with fat people?" uh, nothing unless you want diabetes, joint pain, and a whole mess of other problems...Im not even thin yet and they are treating me like this because they know Im TRYING , I only want to be where I was beffore pregnancy ...Some people are plain mean and jealous, if they say they arent jealous they should stop ACTING like it, Since you have told your friend it bothers you and she responded with that , She isnt a very good friend..she should be HAPPY you are losing weight ! It seems all she can think of is the fact that she looks gigantic next to you..selfish...I really dont know how your friend would be less angry at you...maybe time is what she needs? I feel for you