did you ever have someone NOT be supportive?

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  • rockabillymama
    rockabillymama Posts: 117 Member
    i, myself, don;t go to the gym. I do everything at home with my kids. I've asked her to come over, and I've preached the wonderfulness of MFP to her, but she seriously has no motivation other than to complain about it. I don't want to get mean, but i'm wondering if that's the rout i'm going to need to take.
  • selfishshellfish
    selfishshellfish Posts: 97
    You certainly don't need to get mean, but you may find that you want to put some distance between the two of you (maybe even just for a while). Sometimes that's the way it goes when change happens.

    I certainly wouldn't try and put pressure on her to join you in your new lifestyle - that too is her responsibility alone. And trying to sell to the unwilling usually backfires.
  • SHDenver
    SHDenver Posts: 87 Member
    First off, congrats on your progress! Very motivating to see :)

    I don't know your relationship with your friend, but further into that jelousy I can also see a possible deep fear that she is going to lose you as a friend. Obviously weight has a lot of tie-in with insecurity and knowing my own abundant insecurities I could see your friend viewing your weight loss as you moving away from her. Have you sat down with her to let her know how you feel about the comments she's making? Does she also want to lose weight or has she not reached the point where she's ready to make changes? Maybe it was a part of it, but you didn't become friends because you were both overwieght. Maybe it's as simple as letting her know how hurt you've been over her comments, that they're not helpful, and the reasons why you guys have and will continue to be friends. I guess it would be awkward to just throw that all out there in a conversation but if she's willing to let you in a little bit maybe you can both figure out where things are feeling off.

    It sounds like you're able to separate this from the work you're doing to continue to lose for the most part which is such a hard thing to do with people you care about. I don't think she wants you to fail, (At least I hope a best friend wouldn't want that) I just don't think she knows how to support you right now while dealing with her own inner demons, so it might be helpful to tell her.

    Goodluck to you :)
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