This strikes me as weird!!

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Malani2010
Malani2010 Posts: 245
in Health and Weight Loss
I went to my sister's house for Thanksgiving and I was suggesting this site for her to use because she wants to try and lose weight!!! Well after we got done talking about it she said that her husband won't let her go on a "Diet" because of her medical conditions ( She has something wrong with her heart, she is on the brink of emphazema (sp?) due to smoking.) The thing that got me was what her husband said because this isn't just a diet its a lifestyle change as we all know. Losing weight will help her health problems not hinder them. I wasn't even talking about vigorous exercises or anything like that but all they eat is crap and drink dr. pepper's all day. I mean I have nothing against dp's but when she says she hates how she looks and envy's me for starting to look good I have to wonder what goes through her head. I have just given up trying to help but will be there if she decides to change. As her sister I will be there anyways. lol

Replies

  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
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    Why is HE telling HER what she can and can't eat. What kind of control freak is he?!
  • marbear1397
    marbear1397 Posts: 30
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    Eating healthier would definitly be beneficial to her overall health! Good luck. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
  • iKristine
    iKristine Posts: 288 Member
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    It's her decision not his. And any man who would not want his woman to be healthy deserves nothing in return.
  • KimmyEB
    KimmyEB Posts: 1,208 Member
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    Sounds like he's either:

    Scared she may go some crazy extremes or something, and possibly be missing out on nutrients. Though, if all they eat is crap and drink Dr. Pepper anyway, I doubt they're getting proper nutrients anyway,

    Not willing to change HIS diet,

    Or yes, a control freak.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
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    He doesn't want her to diet but is OK with her smoking? Does he have an insurance policy out on her or something?
  • StephanieRDMS
    StephanieRDMS Posts: 90 Member
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    I guarantee you anything, that he's insecure. As long as she's "fat" and "sick", she's going to need him, and won't leave him. (Please don't take what I said offensive) Because maybe their life isn't going so great...and she's tired of it...he knows it...but he thinks she'll leave him for someone "better" once she gets healthy and in shape. Either that, or he just has horrible self esteem and deep insecurities all on his own.
  • cygnetpro
    cygnetpro Posts: 419 Member
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    That's too bad. One thing that jumped out at me, though, was the heart thing. A woman I knew had a heart attack after she dropped some weight quickly on Weight Watchers (she survived). Ironically, she had been trying to lose weight/get healthy in order to NOT have a heart attack. Sounds like your sister would be well-advised to try to get healthy with her doctor's supervision.
  • Sp1nGoddess
    Sp1nGoddess Posts: 1,138 Member
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    Some people aren't ready to accept that what they are doing isn't working and make the changes they need to see results. You and I know that drinking DP or even diet DP all day will not result in fitness! You can keep setting a great example and she will hopefully come around. Mention how wonderful you feel and how much energy you have. I am surprised that with a heart condition her doctors have not sent her to a nutritionist, maybe you can suggest that. Food is really the best medicine and healthy eating is key to a healthy life & heart.

    My mother complains constantly about her size but will NOT listen to me about diet, tracking calories, or exercise. I keep trying though! I tell her, if you keep doing what you are doing, you will not get smaller! Best of luck!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    She is making excuses.
  • taradactyl81
    taradactyl81 Posts: 23
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    I used to be with a fellow like that. He was insecure about himself and didnt want me looking any better than I did because he did not want me "thinking I could do better than him"....Its hard to be in that kind of relationship. I wish her the best of luck.
  • dotmertsky
    dotmertsky Posts: 43
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    He sounds like an A-1 jerk. How can improving your eating habits be bad?? Her health would only be better. I've only lost 17 lbs so far and I;m sleeping better and have more energy. Just thin what I'll feel like after 50 lbs?!

    He's a control freak and she needs to get away from that before she loses herself. I was married to one of those (jerks) and he just about took all my self esteem and crushed my spirit. I am thankful I got away from him and living my life my way

    Hope she sees the light soon.
  • azsuzi
    azsuzi Posts: 1,169 Member
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    My sister has become very obese and doesn't seem the least bit interested on losing any of the weight. She congratulates me all the time on my weight loss, but turns a deaf ear if we try to discuss her eating habits. Your sister may have put it off on her husband instead of admitting to you and herself that she's not ready to take the steps necessary to improve her own health. You're right, you cannot make your sister do what she is not ready to do - any more than I can make mine. All we can do is be there, ready to help and support them when they are ready. It is so very heartbreaking to watch...
  • Malani2010
    Malani2010 Posts: 245
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    I know she isn't ready to take the next step!! He isn't that controlling ( I think on some things he is). I think he assumed I was telling her to start running. She can fabricate things to make herself sound helpless. Basically they feed off each other but that is for another rant. They have 3 kids who eat healthier than them. It just seems to bug me a lot. I love them both don't get me wrong I just wish they understood that it's not a bad thing to start counting calories and stuff.
  • azsuzi
    azsuzi Posts: 1,169 Member
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    I feel for you and wish you luck. You're in my thoughts...
  • MiaOrange
    MiaOrange Posts: 151 Member
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    Well you did what you could, and planted a MFP "seed" with her. You're doing a great job and setting a good example. Hopefully, she'll realize that...sooner better than later.

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