Weight Loss and Significant Others

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prettyfitchick
prettyfitchick Posts: 502 Member
What has your experince been with this ?? Is your significant other your work out partner?? My boyfriend is not thrilled about my weight loss and even mentioned that my collar bone sticks out now He always says I was fine the way I was before and has said my goal weight was to low I could write a whole page on this but its My body and I am going to do what I want with it He dosent mind me eating healthy and working out I can jog circles around him now I can tell he dont like it even though he hasnt came out and said that But what really bothers me is I dont get any attention from any more crazy since I get more unwanted attention now I havent changed one bit besides maybe liking to go shopping more but I am just confused by this a little a bit he is naturally thin he is 160 and little over 6 feet tall So the healthy life never crossed his mind which is ok i dont want to push it on him but it would be nice if he could be my workout partner

Please try to help me understand why he is this way

Replies

  • Tujitsu56
    Tujitsu56 Posts: 392 Member
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    How long were you overweight? I mean if he fell for you when you were bigger he may have really liked you the way you are. The thing is, if he truely loves you and is not selfish, then he should love you the way you want to be. So I'd suggest to sit down and talk to him. Let him know why you are trying to loose weight. Let him know, that this is what makes you happy. You can throw in that you would be thrilled to have him push you and help further motivate you. Try to ensure him that you aren't going anywhere (not saying it's insecurities, but just in case). Maybe this will help him.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    I think my biggest issue is that I would LOVE for mine to join me and would love to see him get healthy but we've only been dating a few months and not sure how to get him into it. He does have weight-related health issues and if we are going to stay together, at some point I'm going to want him to be healthy but don't want to come off the wrong way to him. Besides having a workout partner, especially him, it would be a great motivation to me!!
  • umachanxo
    umachanxo Posts: 926 Member
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    My fiance doesn't work out with me. He's already at a healthy weight, and I think if he lost any, he would disappear. xD
    My roommate is my workout partner and does MFP with me.

    Maybe he feels insecure about you losing weight. I would suggest that you sit down and talk it out with him calmly. Try and find out what the real reason is that he's uncomfortable with you losing weight.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
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    My siggy has in the past 6 months started working out a good deal more, and is working on his diet.

    We LOVE to go to the gym together when we can. I'm proud of the changes he has made, and he looks great.
    However he doesn't like the idea of MFP and I he doesn't like me counting calories. He just doesn't think I need to.

    I respectfully disagree. I've upped my calorie goal on here and that makes him very happy.
  • kvandenbush
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    Right now my boyfriend lives 3 hours away, but when we do get together is always my workout partner. He is extremely fit and has the determination and motivation to stay fit that I am eager to have. It definitely helps to have your significant other help you out in the gym, but it also has its issues. Since my boyfriend is so fit sometimes he thinks that I am not working out hard enough, but sometimes its difficult for me due to arthritis in my knees. And since he does live so far away he'll often text me and ask if i worked out that day and what i ate and everything to try to stay on me. He loves me for who I am and just wants me to feel good about myself because that just gains more confidence and you're able to portray yourself so much better when you are confident. Sometimes I tell him to stop talking to me about my weight loss, but overall its helped push me. You can try to get him to first just be happy for you that you are trying to be happy for yourself. Once he sees this confidence he should and hopefully will be willing to encourage you along your way. Good luck with your goals! =)
  • Jackie9950
    Jackie9950 Posts: 374 Member
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    My husband is already thin naturally. I ussually workout with myself. I have a treadmill at home. My husband is very supportive and tried to be considerate of what we eat and what resturaunts we go to. I think if he is acting like this he peoabably did like you a litte bigger, but he has to understand this is your body that you have to carry around and he should be happy with what makes you happy!
  • capaxinfiniti
    capaxinfiniti Posts: 367 Member
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    He should love you how you are! He should realize you are doing this because you want to better yourself and respect that!

    My boyfriend is twig-thin. We are both 18 and he is (at most) 120 pounds. He just barely meets the weight requirement for his height in ROTC in his college and he is always joking about how fat he is (I just HATE it when people talk like that though)

    My boyfriend is somewhat supportive of me trying to lose weight. He says he likes me just the way I am but he says that if I want to change then that's good. Other than that, he doesn't really support me by offering to come workout with me or to motivate me in anyway.

    You should keep asking him to be your workout partner, maybe tell him that it is some quality time the two of you can spend together. And if you absolutely need to, reward him after you two work out or something so it gets him more eager to help you lose weight :wink:
  • mandemonious
    mandemonious Posts: 217 Member
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    I am lucky enough to have a supportive partner. I usually work out alone, but he is happy to join if he is around. He's also not that hard to convince to take an after dinner walk...despite walking being his least favorite form of locomotion. On the down side, his sweet tooth is about as big as mine and cookies do make it in to the house far too often for my taste (well, my rational taste, anyway..).

    I'd say I feel most lucky in that he is willing to listen to me ramble on occasionally about all the mundane details of my weight loss and often offers unsolicited positive reinforcement. Gotta love that fella :love:

    Often times, non-supportive partners are insecure about their partners new looks. Perhaps they worry about new competition..?
  • Tujitsu56
    Tujitsu56 Posts: 392 Member
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    If you want your significant other to workout with you and he is thin or not inclined, maybe try some form of strength training that he would be more inclined to do. Although, you may have to start cooking a bit more so that he gets more protien to put on some muscle:) Just a suggestion.
  • Samsara9
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    I sort of have the opposite issue! My DH has a serious weight issue (I believe his BMI is around 33%). I have always been relatively "thin." (I am on here to get fit and lose a small amount of belly weight that I don't like). He refuses to listen to me about his weight, any related health issues, nutrition, etc...I have stopped trying, because you honestly can't get someone to do anything that they don't want to do or are prepared to do. His whole family has died young (late 50's) of cancer. And, with him carrying all of his weight in his belly, I fear for his heart. We have three kids, and I don't want them to lose their father, nor do I want to lose a husband. So I guess we are in the same boat, you don't want to be told that you are too thin, and to stop what you are doing, and my DH doesn't want to hear that I think his healtth is in danger (and to be honest, that I don't find his belly attractive-sad I know because he is my soul mate and I love him more than anything in the world). It comes down to being in control of your own life, and not wanting to feel controlled by another (my DH in this case will balk at anything that suggests of "advice"). So, I wish you luck, I hope you can find a gentle way to let him know that his opinion about your weight loss will be heard, but you will do what you need to do for your own health (and for him to only mention it once and be done....my DH likes to call me a "nag," so I have just learned to shut my mouth and suffer in silence). :flowerforyou:
  • AlwaysWanderer
    AlwaysWanderer Posts: 641 Member
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    I know what you mean. My husband will not do anything if you call it work out or exercise. I always workout alone. But he likes sports, so we play tennis together sometimes. I managed to convince him to go on a cycling holiday to Scotland next year, so thats good. Lots of training for that (we need to be fit enough to do 350 miles in a week throughout Scotland).
  • Bankman1989
    Bankman1989 Posts: 1,116 Member
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    What has your experince been with this ?? Is your significant other your work out partner?? My boyfriend is not thrilled about my weight loss and even mentioned that my collar bone sticks out now He always says I was fine the way I was before and has said my goal weight was to low I could write a whole page on this but its My body and I am going to do what I want with it He dosent mind me eating healthy and working out I can jog circles around him now I can tell he dont like it even though he hasnt came out and said that But what really bothers me is I dont get any attention from any more crazy since I get more unwanted attention now I havent changed one bit besides maybe liking to go shopping more but I am just confused by this a little a bit he is naturally thin he is 160 and little over 6 feet tall So the healthy life never crossed his mind which is ok i dont want to push it on him but it would be nice if he could be my workout partner

    Please try to help me understand why he is this way

    He's like Snoop Doggy Dog thin..lol..jk. i say do what you think is best for your body. Some people dont workout and that's on them. I am thankful that every long term relationship I've had they have all been women who have worked out. It's ok to encourage him but you can't force him to do it. Remember you were like that not to long ago. I am sure the longer you keep doing it the more inclined he will join you.
  • candykay89
    candykay89 Posts: 110 Member
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    My husband used to work out with me. Now he watches me, sometimes he does it depending on his mood.
  • prettyfitchick
    prettyfitchick Posts: 502 Member
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    you guys might be right I am doing what I am and if he joins me great but if not at oh well But Yeah he is like Snopp Dogg thin lol