Too competitive with too many insecurities

Options
LeanMeanFitnessMachine
LeanMeanFitnessMachine Posts: 659
in Health and Weight Loss
This girl from my high school is a real life Barbie doll - blonde hair, golden tan, feirce smile, flawless body - the works. She's the definition of perfect! Its unreal. She models all over and recently started modeling for Maxim, and of course, uploads all her gorgeous photoshoot pictures to Facebook. It makes me feel so many things: angry with myself for not losing weight, frustrated that I've been working so hard for so long and still don't have a body like that, jealous that she's living my dream of modeling and I have no chance.. Its just tough to see that plastered all over my timeline. It makes me feel so insecure about my own body. I guess its my competitive side coming out - wanting to be the best of the best and all.

I'm not looking for pity or sympathy. I'm sure many of you have gone through or are going through situations similar to mine. How do you cope and not get down on yourself for it?
«13

Replies

  • shedoos
    shedoos Posts: 446 Member
    Options
    I used to feel that way... but...

    Now I'm old enough to know that kind of beauty fades with time.
  • MikeSEA
    MikeSEA Posts: 1,074 Member
    Options
    Spend a major holiday feeding the homeless. It gives me a little reality check.
  • angelapolite
    angelapolite Posts: 249
    Options
    When I'm faced with that, I think about what makes me feel beautiful, to not compare myself with others. And lastly, to remember we ALL want something that's we can't always have.
    I also don't really get down on myself like that anymore, I admire those that I find pretty, rather than hate on them or feel inferior.:happy:
  • AZackery
    AZackery Posts: 2,035 Member
    Options
    It's never good to compare yourself to someone else. Never look at someone being better than you. I don't. No one is better than me and never will be better than me.

    Be you. Don't give this woman your power.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Options
    Since you asked how I cope, I think it's okay that I post this:

    "I will give thanks to You because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this." - Psalm 139:14.
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    Options
    I used to be that way, too, until I started training for competitions and learning all I have about nutrition and working out. Now, rather than be jealous of everyone else, I am proud of me.

    I even came up with a saying for that, too. "Compete with yourself. There is no reason to be jealous of anyone else. I say we congratulate and motivate, rather than hate." ~ Bry Allen
  • angelapolite
    angelapolite Posts: 249
    Options
    Since you asked how I cope, I think it's okay that I post this:

    "I will give thanks to You because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this." - Psalm 139:14.

    THIS! ^^^^^
  • LilMizDetermined
    LilMizDetermined Posts: 175 Member
    Options
    I have certainly felt your pain. In fact, mine was so bad that I ruined a relationship over the fact that I was so jealous of this girl. She worked out because she was TOO skinny... I wish I had the option!! I would always feel so self-conscious about myself when we would go out (especially if bikinis were involved). This was a while ago so I've grown up since then, but the feelings are still there. I realized though that it has nothing to do with her. It was me, my thoughts, and my attitude. Use it as motivation. Set a goal for yourself and hit it so that you have something to feel proud of.

    You are certainly not alone though! You are beautiful!! I am jealous of your body :P
  • LeanMeanFitnessMachine
    LeanMeanFitnessMachine Posts: 659
    Options
    Since you asked how I cope, I think it's okay that I post this:

    "I will give thanks to You because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this." - Psalm 139:14.

    I'm Christian, so you're good :-) Thank you <333
  • janalayn
    janalayn Posts: 510 Member
    Options
    It is easy to be jealous of what you "think" her life is ... we never really know what other people's lives are like. You have to start being happy with you and your life. In high school I was so jealous of this cute little cheerleader who had the "perfect life" or so I thought. At our 20 year reunion she admitted to me that she had always been jealous of my many friends and my outgoing personality ....WTH - i almost fell out of my chair. Apparently being thin and beautiful isn't the answer to happiness. You only get one shot at this life ... walk your path and enjoy your journey ... envy and jealousy just waste your time and energy.
  • espence30
    espence30 Posts: 116 Member
    Options
    I used to feel that way... but...

    Now I'm old enough to know that kind of beauty fades with time.

    I agree with that.. and usually those kind of girls are insecure and unhappy with themselves... they usually starve themselves
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Options
    I used to be that way, too, until I started training for competitions and learning all I have about nutrition and working out. Now, rather than be jealous of everyone else, I am proud of me.

    I even came up with a saying for that, too. "Compete with yourself. There is no reason to be jealous of anyone else. I say we congratulate and motivate, rather than hate." ~ Bry Allen

    This is very good advice.
  • LeanMeanFitnessMachine
    LeanMeanFitnessMachine Posts: 659
    Options
    I have certainly felt your pain. In fact, mine was so bad that I ruined a relationship over the fact that I was so jealous of this girl. She worked out because she was TOO skinny... I wish I had the option!! I would always feel so self-conscious about myself when we would go out (especially if bikinis were involved). This was a while ago so I've grown up since then, but the feelings are still there. I realized though that it has nothing to do with her. It was me, my thoughts, and my attitude. Use it as motivation. Set a goal for yourself and hit it so that you have something to feel proud of.

    You are certainly not alone though! You are beautiful!! I am jealous of your body :P

    Thanks <333 Its good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I know its all a mind thing and just learning to love me, but its really hard for me to block out other people and not compare myself to them. Its in my nature or something. I just don't know how to look past and block out all these negative voices.
  • stcar
    stcar Posts: 207 Member
    Options
    delete her as a friend and forget about her if seeing her posts makes you feel bad. Everyone is beautiful in their own way :)
  • Jillv086622
    Jillv086622 Posts: 20 Member
    Options
    Even though I was somewhat popular in high school I experienced the same type of insecurities as you are. It's hard not to compare yourself to other people in this society. I went to my 10 year reunion a few years ago and the super skinny gorgeous barbie dolls in high school were the heaviest ones at the reunion! :-) You're gorgeous so don't worry about what anyone else looks like!!!!
  • kerriBB37
    kerriBB37 Posts: 967 Member
    Options
    I have many FB friends that are like yours, models. I also have friends that are college athlete's and doctor's (probably the two things that I ENVY most.) I do get those feelings also, I could've been.. I should have been.. I will never be.. It takes it's toll on me. One part of me is proud of their accomplishments and the other is a jealous chick. It's normal (I think?) Sometimes I unsubscribe to their FB news feed, this way it's not always plastered up for me to see.. sometimes I sit back and reflect on my life, which truly is not that bad! it's goes in cycles. ;) Hang in there!
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Options
    Since you asked how I cope, I think it's okay that I post this:

    "I will give thanks to You because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this." - Psalm 139:14.

    I'm Christian, so you're good :-) Thank you <333

    Well in that case...girl, you are made by an awesome God, who are you to question what He made? ;)
  • LeanMeanFitnessMachine
    LeanMeanFitnessMachine Posts: 659
    Options
    I used to be that way, too, until I started training for competitions and learning all I have about nutrition and working out. Now, rather than be jealous of everyone else, I am proud of me.

    I even came up with a saying for that, too. "Compete with yourself. There is no reason to be jealous of anyone else. I say we congratulate and motivate, rather than hate." ~ Bry Allen

    Thats a really great way to think about it - competing with yourself. I'm going to put that up on my motivation board. Thank you!
  • LeanMeanFitnessMachine
    LeanMeanFitnessMachine Posts: 659
    Options
    Even though I was somewhat popular in high school I experienced the same type of insecurities as you are. It's hard not to compare yourself to other people in this society. I went to my 10 year reunion a few years ago and the super skinny gorgeous barbie dolls in high school were the heaviest ones at the reunion! :-) You're gorgeous so don't worry about what anyone else looks like!!!!

    I always wondered if that steotype was true. Haha, people always say that but I always wondered if it was actually true or just something people said to make others feel better.
  • gatorgirl7
    gatorgirl7 Posts: 103 Member
    Options
    I blocked people like that. LoL.

Categories