Too competitive with too many insecurities

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  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    unfriend her.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    Most of us are envious of something that someone else has...human nature. You'll never be that girl - and no one will ever be you! You're young, gorgeous, healthy, and unique. Billions of people the world over would love to be in your shoes. It's all relative.

    Love who you are! :heart:
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    In a way, it's a natural feeling. I try really hard not to compare myself to other people though, there's always someone who will always have something "better." Instead, I try to focus on the things that make ME happy and the positive changes that I'm trying to make for myself. And besides, you never know- you might be "that" girl for someone else on facebook! There could be someone who feels that same way about you! :wink:
  • raeka23
    raeka23 Posts: 5
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    I've had this my whole life with my younger sister. She has a gorgeous body. and Every guy i've ever met has fallen madly in love with her. And even my ex-boyfriends would tell me how hot she was. And she was epitome of popular. She was the HS homecoming queen and dated the quarterback and everyone loved her. Even my friends. I've always been so jealous of her. Even now it gets hard bc she's married and im single and she has exactly the life i've always wanted. But I finally had a bf point out to me, that 1 while she has a "better" body than me. I'm prettier. lol. And two, how unhappy she was. I just saw that she had everything i wanted. So i assumed she had to be happy. So i learned to one appreciate the good things about myself. And two that noone's life is as perfect as it seems. She may have everything i want but she doesnt appreciate it and until she learns to she will never be truly happy. But me, bc i havnt had those things, i've learned to be happy where i'm at and once i get to where i want to be i will still be happy and i will appreciate what i've gotten. Just focus on what's good about your self. And actually say it out loud. and to people. the more you say it and hear it. the more you believe it. I have a friend who i constantly get to tell me i'm pretty. And i know he knows it. and i know it. but he knows i need to hear it sometimes. You are beautiful! Never forget that. :)
  • skywa
    skywa Posts: 901 Member
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    Comparing yourself to others is the worst thing you could possibly do.

    You should focus on being your best. On how much you've improved, and how good you feel personally. No matter how much you want to be like someone else, you never will be. That's not who you are. You gotta take what you got and work with it.

    I'm sure that you effort will create progress in ways you never could have imagined.
  • aurie024
    aurie024 Posts: 63 Member
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    Quit comparing yourself to others. You have a lot to be proud of and I'm sure many people look at you have have the same feelings you do when you look at that girl. Something I read today, "Stop competing with others and start competing with yourself". Your only as sexy as you feel so stop saying she looks better and start saying "damn, I have worked really hard and I look good". There is always going to be someone who is prettier, stronger, hotter, etc. but for all you know she has just as many insecurities.
  • fatty2fit88
    fatty2fit88 Posts: 116 Member
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    First of all props for being so damn honest. Not a lot of people can admit to being jealous. I've never been particularly jealous of girls I know from day to day life but I've always been jealous of my mother.

    At 45 she looks AMAZING. She had a hot face and a killer body and has always had ALL her life. I'm not jealous because she looks like a supermodel but because people have always told me how I'm not pretty enough to be her daughter. How she had the beauty and I had the brains (wTf!) .... and how I went after my father's sisters who are all women who have given up on life and don't look good period. (it truly messes with a 10 yr old trust me!!!!)

    But with time I've learnt to except myself and be confident n my own skin. I've seen the insecurities my mother has about aging....and if I was that beautiful....I'd probably be scared to death about aging too!!! Because for people that beautiful often that is what they are recognized for...and you don't ever wanna lose your life's work do you???

    So it is completely natural to feel jealous. But honestly have a time to sit down and have a think weather it is really all that valid an argument...you are so GOOD...take a moment to appreciate who u are...all the work you do.
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
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    I used to feel that way... but...

    Now I'm old enough to know that kind of beauty fades with time.

    This. And what did she due to earn her beauty? Pick good parents? A lot of appearance is just luck. Focus on things that you can earn to define you. Be smart, fun, nice, caring and in DAMN good shape.
  • chrischinchilla
    chrischinchilla Posts: 109 Member
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    I remember this quote from my favorite novel (*The Fountainhead*):

    "I don't make comparisons. I never think of myself in relation to anyone else. I just refuse to measure myself as part of anything."

    Stay focused on your goals, because they're for you alone. :wink: Chin up, chest out, keep strutting!
  • inlander
    inlander Posts: 339 Member
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    Maybe her personality sucks.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    Here is the truth. Truly awesome people don't post everything on Facebook. They don't need an audience. Only the people who need to appear awesome brag on Facebook all the time. The rest are too busy being awesome.

    Either take the time to learn from her as a handy resource to pursue your dream, or find a new one. But realize that wanting to be "the best" when it comes to looks is ridiculous. Looks are subjective, therefore you can't quantify the "best". While looking at her, you're missing you.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    I suggest a career in genetic research. Probably won't help any of us, but maybe all of our grand kids will have perfect, easy maintenance bodies. :bigsmile:
  • AZTrailRunner
    AZTrailRunner Posts: 1,199 Member
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    While everyone else will say "don't compare yourself to others", and "god made you naturally beautiful", and yada yada.....

    I just figure someone like that is a nut job, and probably has much lower self-esteem than you, hence the need to always flaunt her beauty, and fight for the spotlight.

    There's a crude saying.... "For every gorgeous super model, there's a guy who's tired of her sh1t!"

    I hope that made you feel better. :bigsmile:
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
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    reminds me of that song from the 70's, AT SEVENTEEN

    Your original post reminded me of that song, one that millions of teen aged girls live every day...........good luck, hope things go well for you


    Listen to the words of that song............I liked the part that went like this........

    from Janis Ian

    I learned the truth at seventeen
    That love was meant for beauty queens
    And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
    Who married young and then retired
    The valentines I never knew
    The Friday night charades of youth
    Were spent on one more beautiful
    At seventeen I learned the truth

    / C - / Dm - / G7 - / C - / :

    And those of us with ravaged faces
    Lacking in the social graces
    Desperately remained at home
    Inventing lovers on the phone
    Who called to say, "come dance with me"
    And murmur vague obscenities
    It isn't all it seems at seventeen
  • woou
    woou Posts: 668 Member
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    Yeah. Sometimes I get down with thinking I wasn't dealt as good of a hand as someone else. In my mind, I know that mindset isn't going to get me where I want to go the longer I dwell on it. It helps not to compare yourself to anyone else but yourself.

    And what's up with putting this other girl down to bring OP up? C'mon you guys. We don't even know her.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
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    There must be something SHE'S horribly insecure about if she feels the need to post those pics all over FB so I'm sure she's plenty jealous of other people for things they have that she doesn't.

    Luckily I've never been that type of jealous of anyone IRL. Work on yourself, especially qualities that will work for you in the long run, that will last longer than a couple of pages in a men's magazine.
  • sal22408
    sal22408 Posts: 90
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    - blonde hair, golden tan, feirce smile, flawless body - the works. She's the definition of perfect! Its unreal.

    I imagine to some, this is the "definition of perfect". Perhaps your definition is wrong?
    I believe NOBODY is perfect...and Thank God for that because I would fail miserably.
    I think beautiful is the girl who cares for the people in her life, shares a smile with the people who are or arent, and gives love with ease...just because they truly do.
    Society has made all of us (me included) so insecure because of what we are told is "perfect" ....i cant handle the pressure. Take me or leave me :)
    Im 40 now...it took that long to "get" it. I hope it doesnt take you that long. Love YOUR life girl....forget hers. NOBODY is perfect...i dont need to see her to know this :)
  • sal22408
    sal22408 Posts: 90
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    sorry, obviously im still learning how to post on this forum and didnt know how to correctly quote and post...*duh* me :)
  • mmmckenna1
    mmmckenna1 Posts: 6
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    I like your insight and truth Jenna
  • mmmckenna1
    mmmckenna1 Posts: 6
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    reminds me of that song from the 70's, AT SEVENTEEN

    Your original post reminded me of that song, one that millions of teen aged girls live every day...........good luck, hope things go well for you


    Listen to the words of that song............I liked the part that went like this........

    from Janis Ian

    I learned the truth at seventeen
    That love was meant for beauty queens
    And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
    Who married young and then retired
    The valentines I never knew
    The Friday night charades of youth
    Were spent on one more beautiful
    At seventeen I learned the truth

    / C - / Dm - / G7 - / C - / :

    And those of us with ravaged faces
    Lacking in the social graces
    Desperately remained at home
    Inventing lovers on the phone
    Who called to say, "come dance with me"
    And murmur vague obscenities
    It isn't all it seems at seventeen

    love it!!!

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