Help!! I’m going crazy :( Why is EVERYTHING always about F

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  • cdnclovr
    cdnclovr Posts: 65 Member
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    You need to take control of your life and not allow others to dictate what your life will consist of. When I was in highschool (many moons ago) many of my friends smoked pot. I did not and I refused every time because this wasn't the future that I wanted for myself. We were still good friends and hung out all the time and they actually told me that they respected me for refusing.

    Food is no different. Your self-esteem sounds low but it comes down to what do you want? Saying NO politely but firmly isn't something to be ashamed of. It's something to be proud of and guaranteed people WILL respect you for it. Go to your Grandma's, go out with your friends but be a leader.
  • gipperakh
    gipperakh Posts: 102 Member
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    I personally would much rather offend someone by not eating their fattening creations than indulge and feel like **** and ruin everything I've worked towards these last few months. If you tell everyone you're TRYING to lose weight, you should be offended that they still offer that crap to you! So basically, screw everyone and focus on yourself.
    A helpful tip, try out hungry-girl.com There's plenty of guilt free recipes, quick snack pairings and 'this-instead of-that' swaps.
  • Jess22542
    Jess22542 Posts: 66
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    I completely understand where you are coming from, it's so hard to eat healthy when everyone around you seems completely unconcerned with what they are eating. Here are a few things I do to help:

    1. I am really good during the week. As long as I am, on Saturday's, I forget calorie counting and enjoy the day. Brunch, going out, whatever my friends want to do.
    2. If I do have something during the week (a HH with the girls or something I really want to go to), I wake up an hour early and get in an extra workout. That way I don't feel guilty when I order that 2nd beer.
    3. If I am going to a restaurant, I look to calories and plan ahead. You would be amazed at how much this helps me. If I know what I can/can't order, I almost always tick to it.
    4. I have, over time, found healthy version of almost all of my cravings. I actually enjoy cooking now and have a set of my favorite go to recipes. So I don't feel like I am depriving myself of anything.
    5. When I am with family or someone makes homemade brownies, cookies, etc . .. I have ONE. I then explain and that while the dessert is absolutely delicious, having one is all the splurging I can do. No one has ever been offended.
    6. I have found ways to hang out with my friends that doesn't involve drinking/eating. I place tennis once/week with my best friend. nothing serious. Just hit around the ball and talk. I can hang out and get a little exercise. Other ideas:
    - If you have a dog, meet your friends at the dog park.
    - Instead of brunch with friends on Saturday's morning, grab a low cal Starbucks (anything "skinny" is about 100 calories for a tall) and take a walk together.
    - Play volleyball or hang out by the pool (during the summer)

    Most of all, I try not to let it be my whole life. I eat right when I can. Try to make my splurges reasonable, but still enjoy life. It's never going to be perfect and that's OK. But I am going to do the best I can, as often as I can.
  • myshell26
    myshell26 Posts: 113
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    My advise is to exercise and drink plenty of water (not sure if you're doing that, but from your diary I don't think you are). 1200 calories seems like a really low amount, but if you exercise you can eat a little more. Drinking a lot of water will help with the food cravings as well. Sure you may pee every 2 seconds, but you'll feel better, have healthy skin and more energy. Temptation is everywhere... if you workout 5-6 days a week you'll be less likely to have these uncontrollable cravings because you had to actually put in hard work (do you really want to eat that chocolate cake when you worked so hard today?). You'll feel pride in your efforts and it will help elevate your mood by increasing your endorphins. Please don't take this wrong, but grow a pair! Everyone struggles. You'll have bad days, but if you want it bad enough you'll fight for it. You're fighting for your health and ultimately your life. It's worth telling a few people "no thank you" and when they see how happy you are, they may want to join you on your journey. So they may be insulted or upset now, but they may get inspired when they see your results. I wish you luck and hope you can do this for yourself. : )
  • trlyblssd79
    trlyblssd79 Posts: 101 Member
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    I know it's hard. Everyone has their temptations. I have 4 kids and do daycare and I am surrounded by chips, fruit snacks, hoho's that they get to eat all day but I can't.
    It is hard to say no to indulgences especially when all you've ever done is say yes and that is why you are where you are now. It's easier to say you want to lose weight than to actually do it - WE ALL KNOW THAT But it sounds like leaving MFP could end up leaving you without any positive reinforcement in your efforts to lose the weight. My husband has not changed his diet at all since I started on here but is respectful enough to not eat a bag of chips next to me when he knows I'm trying to be healthier. Ask your bf to not eat them around you.

    My mom is Italian and always tries to feed me and I don't say no but eat smaller portions and work my butt off later. Instead of 3 pieces of cake slice that one piece into 3 pieces and when you go out with your friends .on Fridays have that one drink and sip it so it lasts as long as their 5/6 drinks and don't stay long enough to want the appetizers Slow and steady wins the race.

    It's not MFP that has made you grumpy and frustrated. Things will not change overnight and that is okay. You definitely need ENCOURAGEMENT ENCOURAGEMENT ENCOURAGEMENT and maybe you should get on here more for that encouragement next time you are feeling down. I wish you all the best and just know that once you start losing the weight the automatic feelings you get from that will replace your love with bad foods. We have to reprogram ourselves:)
  • rlysrh
    rlysrh Posts: 244
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    You've gotta get used to not being able to treat yourself every couple of hours. I've found its easier to avoid all the good food during the day if I plan on making a dinner that I REALLY want and then I can look forward to that all day rather than feeling like I'm missing out when I say no to starbucks or costa.
  • Crystal_Rudolph
    Crystal_Rudolph Posts: 632 Member
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    I understand how you are feeling completely. I struggle as well and think you have gotten some GREAT advice so far! I might also suggest that you read the book "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkeurst. It helps me understand the relationship I have with food, cravings, anger, frustration, and sometimes just plain sadness (especially when I see my husband eat 4000+ calories every day and not gain an OUNCE)!!! Friend me if you would like!!!
  • mleoni092708
    mleoni092708 Posts: 629 Member
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    When I started out, this is how I did it. It may be helpful for you:

    Phase 1: Kept eating my normal foods, but started to reduce portions and added more fruits and veggies.
    Phase 2: Pulled out sweets for a few weeks to help get rid of my cravings
    Phase 3: Started adding exercise to my routine
    Phase 4: Started to replace my 'normal' foods with healthier alternatives - healthier oils, lower calorie, etc.

    Also 1200 calories is very little. I could not function on that few calories. Do you have your activity level set correctly? Are you eating your exercise calories? I am 5'4'' and my calories before exercise are set at 1470. I am losing better with the higher calories and I feel a lot better.

    You don't have to eat or drink things to make other people happy. Your grandma will understand, and you don't have to get hammered when you go out for drinks with friends. These are choices YOU make for YOU, not them. Just because someone eats in front of you doesn't mean they are trying to sabotage you or are being mean to you. It just means that they have different goals than you do now.

    I agree with this ^. Take a deep breath, you CAN do this. Start with small changes. And I also found going from my "regular" eating to 1200 cals per day was too hard. If MFP is telling you 1200 calories, then factor in a 300 calorie burning workout to offset so you don't feel like you are starving.

    On your way home from work problem with the smells-I hear ya! My advice would be to eat a snack before you leave work so you're not starving. Should make it less painful :)

    Explain to your family and friends what you are trying to do and then prove it to them by sticking to it in front of them. The guilt you will feel eating bad with them will far outweigh the pain of skipping that extra piece of cake! But it gets easier I promise. Just think, if it were easy, everyone would be skinny and fit :)
  • Roni_M
    Roni_M Posts: 717 Member
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    I'm with everyone else! When I go to my mom's for dinner I take half of what I used to eat (meat and potatos) and double up my veggies. That way I still have a full plate and my mom doesn't feel like I'm going to starve. She's really supportive though and knows I'm working on losing some weight so probably wouldn't insist I eat more anyways. You could also try filling up on some low cal foods before going that way you won't be tempted to have a second helping.

    I know this is a lifestyle change and part of most people's lives include social eating. I think it's about making better food decisions not eliminating the things you love. You shouldn't have to give up your grandma's chocolate cake! Just try to plan your days out so that you can enjoy one peice of cake guilt free once a week. Eventually you will get to the point of budgeting your calories. I know I've hit that point in a relatively short time and have become a little "Scrooge" like with spending them!! LOL

    Hope you are able to work out a lifestyle that works for you!
  • Krümelmonster
    Krümelmonster Posts: 14 Member
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    First of all, thank you so much for all the replies! Your advice is really helpful and it makes me feel good to know that there are other people in the world how can really understand my situation and the feelings that come along with it. You are really motivating and I know now that I am on the right way and that I should really continue using MFP (just maybe in a less hysteric way).
    I think that maybe my goal of eating only 1200 calories daily is a bit too strict. I thought about changing it to 1400. But I think I will rather do it like that now, that I will continue to eat only 1200 calories during the week and at the weekend I will allow myself to cheat a little bit and also eat things that I really love. This will motivate me a lot during week! And I have to admit that I stopped entering my exercise into MFP. If I would do that I could really eat much more. And I know that I should really drink more water.
    Until now I also didn’t take any food at all with me to work which I should probably change as well. I just need to find some tasty low-calorie option.
    I actually also talked about this diet issue with several people and most of them can understand me and try to support me as well. But sometimes they just simply seem to forget about it like my mum for example. And when my boyfriend is eating chips next to me it is actually because I told him before that, that it is absolutely ok for me because I don’t want to annoy him in any way because of trying to lose weight. (So it is my own fault) I already have a bad conscience all the time because I tell him 500 times in the supermarket that we cannot buy this and that. He drinks now 1% fat milk because of me, eats light products, whole wheat bread, goes running with me and so on. But sometimes I just feel so bad when I complained about the amount of sugar, oil or something that he puts in some meal that I couldn’t forbid him to eat the other things.
    This with the chewing gum sounds good as well and I think I will really just exercise even more when there are some special events such as birthday parties or whatever. And instead of completely saying no to everything is should probably really eat just a very tiny bit which could even be enough for me (like eating 2 christmas cookies instead of 15).
    So, thank you all again very much. I already feel much better and much more motivated now after reading all those posts!!!
  • lucky1ns
    lucky1ns Posts: 358 Member
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    Bring your own popcorn! And tell Grandma that you can only have 1 piece of cake. I eat hummus all the time. Go into your favorite food joint and find a healthier alternative to what you used to choose. I switched from enchiladas at my favorite mexican place to ceviche tostadas and couldnt be happier! Make "no cheese, no mayo" a part of your vocabulary and you can eat just about anywhere for lunch and still lose weight.

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