Got the "Look" when i took the elevator
leafylee
Posts: 56
So i work in and office buiding on the 5th floor. yesterday a bunch of the (thin) girls and i went for lunch to celebrate a friend's birthday. when we got back to the office the girls opened the door to the stair well, and i said, no thanks, taking the elevator and several of them gave me a disgusted or disappointed look.
it's not easy lugging around 330 pounds and it has taken alot out of me to gain more than 70 pounds in less than a year. i try not to talk about my weight with my co workers, and i'm not asking for sympathy, just a little understanding. i know i'm fat, i'm not an idiot and incidents like that just make me want to eat more...
it's not easy lugging around 330 pounds and it has taken alot out of me to gain more than 70 pounds in less than a year. i try not to talk about my weight with my co workers, and i'm not asking for sympathy, just a little understanding. i know i'm fat, i'm not an idiot and incidents like that just make me want to eat more...
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So i work in and office buiding on the 5th floor. yesterday a bunch of the (thin) girls and i went for lunch to celebrate a friend's birthday. when we got back to the office the girls opened the door to the stair well, and i said, no thanks, taking the elevator and several of them gave me a disgusted or disappointed look.
it's not easy lugging around 330 pounds and it has taken alot out of me to gain more than 70 pounds in less than a year. i try not to talk about my weight with my co workers, and i'm not asking for sympathy, just a little understanding. i know i'm fat, i'm not an idiot and incidents like that just make me want to eat more...0 -
Sorry that happened - people really just don't always get it. But, their "looks" and whatever don't have to rule your life. Sometimes we just have to take a deep breath and go on with what we need to do inspite of what others think or may think. Keep on trucking girl - you can do this and someday you'll be able to run up those stairs and the poor girl that needs to take the elevator will get sympathy and understanding from you - not a "look"! :flowerforyou:0
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I am confused
last week you said you do talk about your weight goals with your co workers and this week you say you try not to talk about it with them
letting people get you mad and then eating is giving them power they dont deserve
ignore them and focus on your goals0 -
When they give you the "look", you give them the "finger".0
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sorry that happen to you!
I dont know if I would have taken the stairs down as well. I get dizzy when I go DOWN alot of stairs. I need to start walking up stairs because I know it is good for me.
Dont worry about them, you will make it someday and when you do you will be stronger and in better shape than those who are just naturally skinny.0 -
Perhaps, your co-workers were hoping you would join them on the jaunt up the stairs.
I understand, 5 flights of stairs may be impossible, but perhaps try taking the stairs to the 2nd floor and then the elevator. Then when you're comfortable with that, take the stairs to the 3rd floor and then the elevator, etc, etc.
Exercise and weight loss go hand in hand, try getting exercise wherever you can i.e. park at the end of the parking lot when you go shopping, walk to the store if it's only 2 blocks away instead of driving, etc.
Simple little thing like that really add up to burn calories. Not all exercise has to be an hour sweating at the gym.
Good luck to you!0 -
We cannot control what other people do - we can only control how we will react to it.0
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LMAO!!!! :laugh:When they give you the "look", you give them the "finger".
Five flights is a lot to ask, imo.0 -
Make your anger and frustration work FOR You. Show them that you can and will meet your weight loss goals. But you need to take the first steps to success. Maybe you are not up to doing 5 flights of steps. Start with one flight and add some more as you become fitter. Some people can be mean, but others are actually pulling for you to succeed. Best of luck to you!0
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So i work in and office buiding on the 5th floor. yesterday a bunch of the (thin) girls and i went for lunch to celebrate a friend's birthday. when we got back to the office the girls opened the door to the stair well, and i said, no thanks, taking the elevator and several of them gave me a disgusted or disappointed look.
it's not easy lugging around 330 pounds and it has taken alot out of me to gain more than 70 pounds in less than a year. i try not to talk about my weight with my co workers, and i'm not asking for sympathy, just a little understanding. i know i'm fat, i'm not an idiot and incidents like that just make me want to eat more...
You should take EVERY opportunity to participate in physical activity, even if it is just walking up or down a flight of stairs. Everyone here speaks of a "lifestyle change" and that means incorporating healthy thinking into everything you do. It doesn't stop when you leave the gym or finish your scheduled workout.
Also, it sounds like binge eating might be an issue for you and that points towards emotional/psychological issues and it sounds like you should also be in therapy trying to figure out the underlying reasons and/or some coping mechanisms to overcome the urge to self medicate with food. If you want to be truly healthy, you need to attack the issue from all angles. A healthy body requires a sound and happy mind. If you don't identify and manage or remove that part of your psyche you may never fix this thing. You need to attack the cause at it's source.
Make a plan. Don't go to lunch with your coworkers. Walk to a nearby restaurant for a salad at lunch time. When you get back, plan to take the first flight of stairs for a couple of weeks. After a couple of weeks, take two, and so-on and so-on. Put a rubber band on your wrist, every time you think of eating (when inappropriate) snap your wrist. You've spent years practicing these bad habits and they are NOT going to go away overnight or without any work.
Change your way of thinking and stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Make a plan, follow it at your own pace, and ignore everyone else. What happens in their head has nothing to do with what is happening in your body, don't worry about it. You need to feel proud of yourself and looking to them for it hasn't worked and it never will. When you are confident, it will feed your success, and others will notice and act accordingly. But you HAVE to get serious and start succeeding. I think it's you that's more ashamed of your elevator ride than your coworkers and your own view of yourself is more damaging than anything anyone else can put on you.
Find your motivation and initiative, and for God's sake GET HELP. Literally, your life depends on it.
Good luck.0 -
I'm frustrated with some of the replies I see to your thread. I totally understand where you're coming from, and I can tell which posts are by people who have never been as heavy as us. They don't understand the physical pain it causes just to walk from the parking lot to the lobby, let alone climbing stairs. I'd be in tears my lower back in agony... Anyway, it's not that I don't agree that we need exercise, I just know that huffing and puffing and dying in pain on the stairs while skinny ppl watch just isn't my idea of a healthy workout. I probably would have announced that the stairs hurt too much at this point, but once I lose some weight, I'll race ya to the top, given 'em a big grin and pushed the up button!!
Don't let their non-understanding (don't know if that's a word) effect what you're doing negatively. Use it as ammo for your goals. :flowerforyou:0 -
When they give you the "look", you give them the "finger".
I love that! Soooo true!0 -
I'm frustrated with some of the replies I see to your thread. I totally understand where you're coming from, and I can tell which posts are by people who have never been as heavy as us. They don't understand the physical pain it causes just to walk from the parking lot to the lobby, let alone climbing stairs. I'd be in tears my lower back in agony... Anyway, it's not that I don't agree that we need exercise, I just know that huffing and puffing and dying in pain on the stairs while skinny ppl watch just isn't my idea of a healthy workout. I probably would have announced that the stairs hurt too much at this point, but once I lose some weight, I'll race ya to the top, given 'em a big grin and pushed the up button!!
Don't let their non-understanding (don't know if that's a word) effect what you're doing negatively. Use it as ammo for your goals. :flowerforyou:
should we all just tell her to continue doing the same thing over and over? people are suggesting that she do something about it...why does that frustrate you?0 -
I totally agree. It is not easy lugging over 300 pounds on flat land. Up 5 flights of stairs. Forget it. I've been there, so this is experience talking. 5 flights would take a loooong time. Ask them this- are you willing to walk the stairs with me (say one flight) at my slow pace and when I am tired, ride the rest of the way on the elevator with me. If they are willing then I say they are supportive friends. If they are not they are just being heifers plain and simple.
But as someone who has been there...try one flight then get off at that level and ride the elevator. The first time I tried it I did it by myself so no one would see how many times I had to sit down and rest and so they couldn't see how much I was sweating.:flowerforyou:I'm frustrated with some of the replies I see to your thread. I totally understand where you're coming from, and I can tell which posts are by people who have never been as heavy as us. They don't understand the physical pain it causes just to walk from the parking lot to the lobby, let alone climbing stairs. I'd be in tears my lower back in agony... Anyway, it's not that I don't agree that we need exercise, I just know that huffing and puffing and dying in pain on the stairs while skinny ppl watch just isn't my idea of a healthy workout. I probably would have announced that the stairs hurt too much at this point, but once I lose some weight, I'll race ya to the top, given 'em a big grin and pushed the up button!!
Don't let their non-understanding (don't know if that's a word) effect what you're doing negatively. Use it as ammo for your goals. :flowerforyou:0 -
I totally agree. It is not easy lugging over 300 pounds on flat land. Up 5 flights of stairs. Forget it. I've been there, so this is experience talking. 5 flights would take a loooong time. Ask them this- are you willing to walk the stairs with me (say one flight) at my slow pace and when I am tired, ride the rest of the way on the elevator with me. If they are willing then I say they are supportive friends. If they are not they are just being heifers plain and simple.
But as someone who has been there...try one flight then get off at that level and ride the elevator. The first time I tried it I did it by myself so no one would see how many times I had to sit down and rest and so they couldn't see how much I was sweating.:flowerforyou:I'm frustrated with some of the replies I see to your thread. I totally understand where you're coming from, and I can tell which posts are by people who have never been as heavy as us. They don't understand the physical pain it causes just to walk from the parking lot to the lobby, let alone climbing stairs. I'd be in tears my lower back in agony... Anyway, it's not that I don't agree that we need exercise, I just know that huffing and puffing and dying in pain on the stairs while skinny ppl watch just isn't my idea of a healthy workout. I probably would have announced that the stairs hurt too much at this point, but once I lose some weight, I'll race ya to the top, given 'em a big grin and pushed the up button!!
Don't let their non-understanding (don't know if that's a word) effect what you're doing negatively. Use it as ammo for your goals. :flowerforyou:
I SO agree....This isn't about taking ownership of your fitness...it's about being damned if you do and damned if you don't. The same people who tend to roll their eyes at you when you don't take the stairs are the ones who roll their eyes at you cause you slow them down when you do.
It's hard to be tough when you feel like you are always under scrutiny for your behaviour. There was a time when I didn't do ANY physical activity around other people because I felt so embarassed about even breathing hard. Thankfully, as I lose weight, I'm getting more fit despite my size and that makes me feel better about exercise.
The bonus to that - and something for you to look forward to - is that as I begin to look and feel better, I am less bothered by the "looks" because I don't need their judgement any more than I need their praise. Hang in there!0 -
I'm frustrated with some of the replies I see to your thread. I totally understand where you're coming from, and I can tell which posts are by people who have never been as heavy as us. They don't understand the physical pain it causes just to walk from the parking lot to the lobby, let alone climbing stairs. I'd be in tears my lower back in agony... Anyway, it's not that I don't agree that we need exercise, I just know that huffing and puffing and dying in pain on the stairs while skinny ppl watch just isn't my idea of a healthy workout. I probably would have announced that the stairs hurt too much at this point, but once I lose some weight, I'll race ya to the top, given 'em a big grin and pushed the up button!!
Don't let their non-understanding (don't know if that's a word) effect what you're doing negatively. Use it as ammo for your goals. :flowerforyou:
should we all just tell her to continue doing the same thing over and over? people are suggesting that she do something about it...why does that frustrate you?
I'm just saying lets be realistic. I agree we need exercise, and that she shouldn't let them affect her negatively. But saying to someone who is obviously discouraged that they should have done it anyway is counterproductive, especially when that particular exercise is just not a realistic option at this time.0 -
I'm frustrated with some of the replies I see to your thread. I totally understand where you're coming from, and I can tell which posts are by people who have never been as heavy as us. They don't understand the physical pain it causes just to walk from the parking lot to the lobby, let alone climbing stairs. I'd be in tears my lower back in agony... Anyway, it's not that I don't agree that we need exercise, I just know that huffing and puffing and dying in pain on the stairs while skinny ppl watch just isn't my idea of a healthy workout. I probably would have announced that the stairs hurt too much at this point, but once I lose some weight, I'll race ya to the top, given 'em a big grin and pushed the up button!!
Don't let their non-understanding (don't know if that's a word) effect what you're doing negatively. Use it as ammo for your goals. :flowerforyou:
should we all just tell her to continue doing the same thing over and over? people are suggesting that she do something about it...why does that frustrate you?
I'm just saying lets be realistic. I agree we need exercise, and that she shouldn't let them affect her negatively. But saying to someone who is obviously discouraged that they should have done it anyway is counterproductive, especially when that particular exercise is just not a realistic option at this time.
I agree but when you have heard the same thing 10 times or more with no change maybe it is time to take a different approach to the issue. Blaming others never fixes the problem. It isnt stair climbing that is the issue. It would be nice to hear that a walk through the park happened or a walk anywhere happened instead of the same blaming all the time.
even a simple short walk can get the spirits up and the attitude moving in a positive direction.0 -
thanks for the replies, i appreciate the support.0
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I have to say this again - please, please, please try to stop wasting your energy on what other people's reactions are and focus on what you need from yourself. If you are this heavy, you need to strengthen yourself from the inside out. Paying so much attention to other people is counter-productive to that goal.0
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When they give you the "look", you give them the "finger".
TOTALLY!!
Try not to let crap like that get to you. It would be no different than a thin person getting "the look" because they had an ugly outfit on or something. Know what I mean? You have to love yourself and not care what anybody thinks. It'll be easier for you to brush garbage like that off. Show off your strengths girl! Be that confident woman that you know you can be!
Too bad the timing wasn't a little better. I would have made sure I farted before they got off!!! :laugh:
Take THAT!! :laugh:0 -
I was reading a book the other day called "SPARK" about the advantages of exercise. In it, a PE teacher recounts a story about putting a heart rate monitor on his high school students while they ran/walked a mile.
Afterwards, he had an epiphany of sorts when he looked at the heart rate records of his students.
The girls who had walked the slowest, had the highest heart rates and had infact worked the hardest.
Perhaps,as your weight decreases, taking the stairs just one floor out of 5 could be a goal.0 -
I'm frustrated with some of the replies I see to your thread. I totally understand where you're coming from, and I can tell which posts are by people who have never been as heavy as us. They don't understand the physical pain it causes just to walk from the parking lot to the lobby, let alone climbing stairs. I'd be in tears my lower back in agony... Anyway, it's not that I don't agree that we need exercise, I just know that huffing and puffing and dying in pain on the stairs while skinny ppl watch just isn't my idea of a healthy workout. I probably would have announced that the stairs hurt too much at this point, but once I lose some weight, I'll race ya to the top, given 'em a big grin and pushed the up button!!
Don't let their non-understanding (don't know if that's a word) effect what you're doing negatively. Use it as ammo for your goals. :flowerforyou:
should we all just tell her to continue doing the same thing over and over? people are suggesting that she do something about it...why does that frustrate you?
I'm just saying lets be realistic. I agree we need exercise, and that she shouldn't let them affect her negatively. But saying to someone who is obviously discouraged that they should have done it anyway is counterproductive, especially when that particular exercise is just not a realistic option at this time.
I agree but when you have heard the same thing 10 times or more with no change maybe it is time to take a different approach to the issue. Blaming others never fixes the problem. It isnt stair climbing that is the issue. It would be nice to hear that a walk through the park happened or a walk anywhere happened instead of the same blaming all the time.
even a simple short walk can get the spirits up and the attitude moving in a positive direction.
...except that this wasn't about a group going out for some exercise and making an excuse not to participate; it was about coming back from lunch and choosing the route from the first floor back to the office. At no point did leafylee say she didn't WANT to exercise, she just said that she didn't like getting attitude cause she wasn't able to do 5 flights of stairs. Sometimes I think we all need to get off the soapbox long enough to really see what the issue really is about.0 -
i should add that for the last 3 weeks i have been walking 30 minutes per day to work... it's not like I have no goals. it's just some activities are harder than others. i'm not blaming either, just commiserating that it's tough to get motivated when you have situations that make you feel like total crap. for people who are extremely obese and are emotional eater, they understand. for people who have never been in the situation "shut up and exercise and eat better" seems like the perfect solution. unfortunately, it's not that simple.
i thought this forum was about people supporting each other, not chastizing, but i dont think some people differentiate between the 2.0 -
Maybe Dave's response to you is his way of being supportive. He isnt one to beat around the bush. Like you said, sometimes people have a hard time telling the difference.
I think the suggestions to take one flight of stairs and then ride the elevator the other 4 is a really great way to start.
You obviously want to lose weight. You will get advice in all different shapes and forms here. Just as you will get it that way from friends, strangers, family...
I have been asked in the past , when is my baby due. Instead of being mad at the person who says it I use it as motivation to make sure that question or those "looks" dont happen again.
Good luck on your journey! :flowerforyou:0 -
i should add that for the last 3 weeks i have been walking 30 minutes per day to work... it's not like I have no goals. it's just some activities are harder than others. i'm not blaming either, just commiserating that it's tough to get motivated when you have situations that make you feel like total crap. for people who are extremely obese and are emotional eater, they understand. for people who have never been in the situation "shut up and exercise and eat better" seems like the perfect solution. unfortunately, it's not that simple.
i thought this forum was about people supporting each other, not chastizing, but i dont think some people differentiate between the 2.
I don't believe anyone has chastized you. You must remember that although part of this website is for support, it draws all sorts of attitudes towards diet, exercise, health, nutrition & life in general. Basically, you're going to get different opinions on how to handle situations such as this. Some of us have seen your journey start & stop & start & stop again so many times that we want to help you. I've honestly never posted to your threads before b/c I didn't think you'd want to hear what I have to say. I think the time has come that you NEED to listen to what some of the "harsher" voices are saying.
You must stop making excuses. Fatstrat suggested a therapist & I have to agree with him. You have some issues that need ironing out that aren't going to get fixed on a message board. If you start by fixing your emotions, the health aspect of it will come easier to you.
I'm not saying this to be mean or to chastize you or to belittle you or to make you feel bad about yourself. I'm saying this as a caring bystander that only wants the best. Sort out your issues, try a little harder every day, see your self worth! You're obviously a very smart individual by reading the way you write. As cliche as it sounds, YOU are worth it.
Best wishes for you & I hope someday you will see that you can accomplish your goals. :flowerforyou:0 -
If you don't want to listen to the advice given here, then by all means, SEE A THERAPIST.0
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leafy everyone has to start somewhere and yes, 5 flights is a lot, especially when you have a lot of weight to carry up those stairs. Maybe tomorrow you could go ahead and try just one flight. then elevator the rest of the way. See how that goes, and build up to doing all 5. I've seen you around here since I started and I KNOW you want this and I KNOW it's been really hard for you, and it can get really discouraging. But like I said... everyone has to start somewhere and 1 flight of stairs is a lot better than none right?0
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i thought this forum was about people supporting each other, not chastizing, but i dont think some people differentiate between the 2.
Regardless of what you might think about the responses you've received, I don't think anyone here is chastizing you - just being honest.
And I think that's what all of us need sometimes...and it's probably why all of us are here: because we're honest with ourselves...we've realized that we NEED to make a change and that's why we're all here (I know that's why I'm here).
They say a good trainer will yell at you and make you throw up...think of the MFP community as your "trainer" :happy:
And best of luck on your journey to a healthy lifestyle!
Jeff @ YEG0 -
maybe i'm just overly sensitive...
thanks for the advice everyone.
p.s. i have gone to the 3 therapy sessions this year that work will pay for, so unless i get a windfall, i can only get 3 per year...0 -
maybe i'm just overly sensitive...
thanks for the advice everyone.
p.s. i have gone to the 3 therapy sessions this year that work will pay for, so unless i get a windfall, i can only get 3 per year...
That is great lindsay! I hear OA is a great group, and it is free. If you try a meeting and dont like it, try another in the area to see if the ppl make the difference. I know you are trying, and I am proud of you for walking each day.
Keep up the good work and ignore the idjits!:flowerforyou:0
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