I can't do this anymore!
grmpy1
Posts: 462 Member
Today I was supposed to restart. I had taken a couple weeks "off" with a family death and I was so determined to get back on track today. I just can't seem to do it. I am eating all the wrong foods (candy & Cookies), I keep looking at my treadmill. I have barely touched my water. And I just don't really care about this anymore.
How does one get back on track when they have no motivation or desire to do it anymore? All I want to do is curl up in bed with the warm cookies I just took out of my oven and a big glass of milk!
I need help and for the first time in my life, I am willing to admit it!
How does one get back on track when they have no motivation or desire to do it anymore? All I want to do is curl up in bed with the warm cookies I just took out of my oven and a big glass of milk!
I need help and for the first time in my life, I am willing to admit it!
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Replies
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I'm right with you. I wish I could help but I'm hoping by you asking this question i will be able to find help for myself. I have been at this since June 2010 and i am sick of it. It is so frustrating. At one point I had lost 78 pounds and now I am only down 51 pounds. Still good but not good enough. Its sad to know that we worked so hard to just fall off like this. I am here for you but i don't have an answer for you. I'm hoping to get help also!! Good luck!0
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Try to remember what made you care in the first place. How will you feel if you just curl up in that ball and put back on the 51 lbs. Will it feel good? Will you be kicking yourself for not caring before you redid the damage?
Cut yourself some slack. It's never easy. Make one good choice at a time. And if they aren't all good choice, get over it and make a better choice the next opportunity - one is sure to be just hours away.
Sometimes you have to just hang on and maintain what you have until you can kick yourself into gear to keep the journey going down.
I was at goal 10 years ago and I wish I had have just stayed there.
GOOD LUCK!!0 -
Hello,
Weight loss is hard...I go through ups and downs too! I think everyone does. I feel like you really need to focus on the outcome and what a healthy lifestyle will do for you. How do you feel after you eat cookies and candy? Not very well right!? How do you feel at the end of the day when you are under your calorie goal ? FABULOUS!!! I say GO FOR IT!!! Keep going! Why quit now??? Lets keep each other motivated :happy: -Rosalie0 -
You two just take it a day at a time. Believe me, I get frustrated, anyone who diets gets frustrated from time to time. But it's what we do with that frustration that matters. We all have a day where we want nothing but the comfort foods... but guess what? That's exactly what put us over weight to begin with. So, box the cookies up, and give to an elderly shut in, or a next door neighbor, dust off the treadmill and get busy. Before you know it you'll feel better because you tried.
PS... I'll let you have the milk, but you have to log it!!
If either of you want to add me, feel free. We can only help one another.
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"How does one get back on track when they have no motivation or desire to do it anymore?"
The fact that you posted on here for help shows well enough that you DO have the desire to do it. Take it slowly, a day at a time, and remember that this is a long process with many successes and failures. Keep your eye on the goal and decide what is most important to you.
I always loved the quote "Suffer the pain of self discepline, or suffer the pain of regret. The choice is yours."
Good luck to you. You CAN do it if you want it bad enough. If you didnt want it bad enough you wouldnt be here.0 -
Sorry about your loss! I have a feeling that has a lot more to do with your lack of motivation than anything else.
I lost 3 family member in a very short amount of time between the end of 2009 and beginning of 2010. I ate and ate and ate until I had gained about 50lbs, and it didn't dawn on me until over this summer that I was eating because I was trying to stuff away the pain of the loss.
Listen, you are grieving and I suspect that you are eating to help cope with that. What you need to do is get on that treadmill and push through this. Exercising will help you...let it be another source you can use to help with this time of your life.
Cut yourself come slack too, don't beat yourself up anymore because that is just going to make things worse. Now is the time when you need to be kind to yourself.
Best of luck to you, please don't give up!0 -
It's so easy not to be motivated. Just keep telling yourself it's your gift to yourself. It helps me to visualize myself in a skinny pair of jeans.0
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First of all, congratulations to both of you for losing so much weight in the first place! I think sometimes we spend WAY to much time beating ourselves up and not acknowledging what we have done right. But maybe if we concentrate on our success, it will help to keep us motivated instead of depressing us. When is the last time that either of you celebrated yourselves?
Secondly, I don't have the answer to your questions, but I do know this. This isn't a diet. It's a lifestyle change. And lifestyle changes take time. It took years to develop the habits that allowed us to gain weight. Don't expect to be perfect all at once all the time! Diet failure often happens when we have an all or nothing attitude (either I am healthy all the time or I will just give it all up). It may be easier to take it one small goal at a time. Instead of saying, "I ate the cookies and now I'm doomed to failure", say, "I ate the cookies" and make better choices for the rest of the day. If this is not a diet, but rather a lifestyle change, there will be some days that you will eat the cookies, and some days when you will eat the salad. So what? As long as you are patient and have a positive, persevering attitude, the day will arrive when you will prefer the salad to the cookie.
Make little goals like:
-Today I will drink all of my water.
- Today I will stay away from sugar.
- Today I will eat all my servings of fruits and veggies.
Concentrate on one thing for a couple of days, and when you have that done, add another. Things won't be so insurmountable when you start small.
I hope this helps.0 -
I try to look at what is just ahead, like my next meal. I tell myself if I could get one great healthy meal in that would be a start. Then the next meal the same thing. It can be overwhelming so just start one meal at a time.0
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if you don't want to do the treadmill I understand.... just tell yourself you will do it for 5 minutes and if you still don't want to after that you can stop... Chances are, after 5 minutes you feel better and will keep going..
Also, exercise will naturally make your mood better0 -
Keep tracking! When I started, I wan't able to get close to the calorie goals. Tracking will help you see where and when you are struggling and over time, make different choices.....I also like to focus on the activity side of things...."earning" additional calories by taking a 20 minute walk etc....good luck!0
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Today I was supposed to restart. I had taken a couple weeks "off" with a family death and I was so determined to get back on track today. I just can't seem to do it. I am eating all the wrong foods (candy & Cookies), I keep looking at my treadmill. I have barely touched my water. And I just don't really care about this anymore.
How does one get back on track when they have no motivation or desire to do it anymore? All I want to do is curl up in bed with the warm cookies I just took out of my oven and a big glass of milk!
I need help and for the first time in my life, I am willing to admit it!
Those warm cookies and milk sound so dang good make's me want some...I will not be my family's next death is where I draw my motivation from...and YOU can toooo, Good Luck...0 -
My demise began after the death of my wife mother, my mother, my father and her father over the course of 2 years (my folks 6 months to the day apart) the depression and loss took hold of me and I completely shut down. I didn't seek help and turned to food for comfort and that sent me into a tale spin. You really have to commit to a total lifestyle change... The word diet should never be used in anyone's vocabulary that has had or do have a weight problem... The very first thing I did when I hit rock bottom at 560 lbs. was bring in a 32 gallon trash can and remove everything from the house that caused me to get the way I was. I replaced them with healthy options (veggies, fruits, etc) was it an easy transition?? No not at all but overtime I got use to and actually began to like the new choices. I still allow myself a cheat meal from time to time but the rule is I go out to eat it and none of it comes home with me. If I had the bad choices in the house there is a good chance I would cave to the temptation so I just take that chance out of the equation. Like another poster said just remember back to when you was at your heaviest, do you really want to feel that way again. 28 months ago at 560 lbs. I couldn't even walk from one room to another without a rolling chair to get around on, I gasped for air just walking 20 feet, I had panic attacks if there wasn't a chair to sit down on cause if I went to the ground I couldn't get myself up. I would eat a 21 inch pizza and feel horrible and beat myself up for as long as it took for me to get hungry again then I was ready to eat whatever was in front of my face. These are just a few of things I was dealing with back then, and whenever I remotely start having a bad day I think about where I came from and how there is no way in Hell I would ever want to go back to that guy... He wasn't living a life he was just existing and not very well at that.... You have to tell yourself you are worth it and then follow through with it.... It is as easy as making a choice..... Do you choose life or the alternative??? I choose Life!!!0
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Go stand on your treadmill and press start. That is the hardest part and you know it. You will feel much better than you think you will. You can do this. 51 lbs isn't easy to lOse. It's hard work, this journey is hard work. You do care but it much easier to not care.
And here is some motivation from yourself "I need to get my life on track to live a very long time. I want to be there for my kids and grandkids and my husband. My unhealthy habits have worn off on all of them and I need to show them we all can be better than we are.
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel that you are less than, less than perfect! ~Pink"0 -
I was thinking the same thing as DWilbanks - set really small goals and take it one day (heck , even one hour) at a time. If you really want it, it will happen but trying to change your whole lifestyle overnight, especially with grief hanging on, is not an easy task. For this week, and maybe next week too, just make a commitment to track all your food, even those cookies. And if you stick to your goal and/or get on that treadmill, those are bonuses! Then after a week or two of that, your next goal is to continue logging and add at least 3 sessions of exercise per week. After a couple week of that, you can concentrate on sticking to your goal, or cutting down on sugar or whatever your next thing is.
Above all, don't punish yourself for having a rough day - that's only going to lead to emotional eating and you're going to start the vicious circle all over again. We're all human, we all have bad days. The most important thing to do is not let them drag into a bad week or bad month. Pick yourself up the next day and recommit to whatever your goal is for that week.0 -
You two just take it a day at a time. Believe me, I get frustrated, anyone who diets gets frustrated from time to time. But it's what we do with that frustration that matters. We all have a day where we want nothing but the comfort foods... but guess what? That's exactly what put us over weight to begin with. So, box the cookies up, and give to an elderly shut in, or a next door neighbor, dust off the treadmill and get busy. Before you know it you'll feel better because you tried.
PS... I'll let you have the milk, but you have to log it!!
I agree with this post. However I'm prepared to do a deal ...remove the "unhealthy" food from your vicinity, and get moving for the next hour - go for a walk/jog, do some gardening, clean the house (vacuum, do the skirting boards, washing the kitchen floor and the windows). Then you can have a healthy snack - fruit, log-gi yoghurt etc.
Then look at what you've accomplished, and plan your menu for the rest of the week. Also plan your exercise. Drink your water, and keep your diary up to date.0 -
Rememeber why you started this journey; in your words " I need to get my life on track to live a very long time. I want to be there for my kids and grandkids and my husband. My unhealthy habits have worn off on all of them and I need to show them we all can be better than we are"
You CAN do it and we can help!0 -
I agree with many of the posters on here, especially around the grieving process. It seems like you're grieving the loss of someone you care about, so you're taking comfort in the foods you effectively "gave up" when you started losing. I don't know what the answer is, but I think it's a major step to put out in to the world that you're wanting to give up. That means to me that somewhere you're looking for something to help you get back to the place you were at before.
I don't know what the answer is for you but I think there is one. I say log the foods you're eating, regardless of if they're good for you. Maybe the small goals can be to start lessening portions or adding one healthier option to what you're eating.
We've all been where you are right now at some point in all of this, and unfortunately may be again. Don't let it reverse the good you've done. You have done AMAZINGLY.0 -
I'm so sorry for your loss. That must be painful. ):
Believe in yourself. Be kind to yourself. You DO still have motivation, because you took the time to post here. Give yourself a pat on the back for asking for help.
Take baby steps. Small, but consistent (every day) steps. Take time to be proud of yourself and grateful for every tiny step you make. If you make little steps every day, you'll get to the bigger stuff like long treadmill runs and healthy food.
Today, just put your workout clothes on, and stand on the treadmill. Seriously, it sounds silly but that's it. Pat yourself on the back for getting that far. Make yourself a list of tiny things you could do, every day. Some ideas:
-- Drink a half a glass of water
-- Eat 1 vegetable
-- Mindfully eat 1 cookie (notice every bite, eat it slowly, notice how it tastes and how it makes you feel).
I got these ideas both from a doctor, and from my mindfulness teacher. I was having a hard time getting started with meditation - and one thing she taught me was "start where you are". Don't go for a 20 minute meditation when you aren't used to it at all - just set out a mat and create a space. The next day, maybe sit down. The next day, try 30 seconds. And so on. My doctor, when I wanted to lose weight, wrote me an actual prescription telling me to celebrate the little steps and be grateful for every positive move I made. I'm going to frame that prescription.
Every tiny positive move towards your goal will encourage bigger steps. Just be patient with yourself and believe in yourself. I do! You've got this! 0 -
First of all, don't be too hard on yourself. Most people hit the place you are at some point during their weight loss journey. With the sadness you've been through, it's got to be doubly hard. But, reaching out shows this is important to you. You can make it back on track.
Remember that this is a journey to becoming healthy, not a punishment. Can you allow yourself just one cookie? If yes, sit down and have it. Enjoy it. Again, this shouldn't be a punishment. If you have the calories later in the day, have another.
For the next week or so, concentrate on calories and nutrition. I'm guessing that once you get your system a little cleaner, you'll be able to start up exercising easier. Take it one day at a time. And keep reaching out if you need the support. That's what we're here for.0 -
Thank you, each and every one of you. I am stuck in this rut, but with every comment that was made today, including the messages I received, I saw a different side to what I was going through.
I have been at this for quite awhile now, over a year and way before MFP, but it is these message boards that have kept me on track. Yes, I ate some of the cookies and I drank some milk, but when I got done I got on my treadmill. I am still mad at myself for eating the cookies, but I know I will be eating cookies for the rest of my life. Just as I will be counting calories the rest of my life.
I still am not sure I can do this anymore, but I do know I can do one thing at a time. And today, I got back on my treadmill...and as a promise to myself..... I got rid of the cookies that I know my husband won't eat!0 -
I just joined MFP today, but I have been on the weight loss journey for quite some time. I know many have already shared their thoughts and feelings of being right where you are, so I will only add half of my two cents. You have come so far! Take this time to celebrate your accomplishments--maybe even write down two or three things you have done that allowed you achieve your success to date. Then write one tiny thing you can do to get moving again. Maybe you will decide to only eat one cookie, or you will decide to get some fresh air (if possible) and walk your neighborhood. It may help to clear your mind and help you to refocus. Don't beat yourself up, but trust yourself to take care of you. I hope this helps!
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i dont think there's anything wrong with having a couple off days. i'm not too proud to admit i've been able to pack away 2 trays of chips ahoy and milk in a day. the thing is, to not allow a day to transform into a week of bad choices. dont beat yourself up, your only human, and cookies taste good...
but when i'm feeling that "dont give a damn anymore" phase creeping up, i simply stop debating wether i should or shouldnt. i simply stop thinking about how much i dont want to do it, and resolve that wether i like it or not, it's going to happen. like putting on your shoes before you leave the house, or brushing you teeth, know that you will not lay back in bed until you've gotten those 30 minutes of intentional excersize out of the way for the day. and if you dont want to do 30 minutes, do 20, hell take a 15 minute walk on the treadmill. when you walk for 15 minutes just say "hey, why not i'm halfway there, i'll just do another 15 minutes". and before you know it, your back on track. there's no shame in going back to a slow routine when your just not feeling it. 0 -
I started on MFP a couple of years ago. After my first 40 lbs lost, I was feeling super. Then I was hit by loss as well. I felt like you described. I had no motivation to do anything.
I stayed that way for a year. I didn't gain that much, because of what I'd learned on MFP, but I wasn't losing anymore either.
Then, when I was ready, I came back. I found my way and my motivation again.
There's so much well-intentioned advice on this thread already, but my 2cents is you should be kind with yourself and deal with bereavement in the way that is best for you. When you are ready to come back and get your motivation back, you will. Until then, give yourself the room to grieve.
Best wishes to you
:flowerforyou: 0 -
Thank you, each and every one of you. I am stuck in this rut, but with every comment that was made today, including the messages I received, I saw a different side to what I was going through.
I have been at this for quite awhile now, over a year and way before MFP, but it is these message boards that have kept me on track. Yes, I ate some of the cookies and I drank some milk, but when I got done I got on my treadmill. I am still mad at myself for eating the cookies, but I know I will be eating cookies for the rest of my life. Just as I will be counting calories the rest of my life.
I still am not sure I can do this anymore, but I do know I can do one thing at a time. And today, I got back on my treadmill...and as a promise to myself..... I got rid of the cookies that I know my husband won't eat!
Way to go! I know you can do it - you've already started! Every big achievement is made of one thing at a time. *hugs* 0 -
Even though I'm not going through what the OP is............this thread has been marvelous to read!
I never thought I WOULD be ready to do what I'm doing now. I've been here since mid August.......and have realized a few things about myself:
I can do this.
I need help sometimes.
I am not on a DIET, and will never BE on a diet.
Even when I hate it, I still want to do it.
So, darlin', I sure hope you got the inspiration you need........and that you remember to take it ONE DAY at a time (or hour or minute or second.) You've come too far to let it all go........and you won't. I think inside you know you won't - you just needed to HEAR it from a buncha other people.
Hugs to you.............you'll be fine
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
Oh, and Grmpy1 ...........
we are the same age - I just looked at your profile.
That is, until tomorrow :glasses:0 -
I once read "You will not regret exercising but you will regret not exercising." Just remember how great it felt to know that you were loosing weight or getting in shape by running on the treadmill. I know how you are feeling right now that it is easier to just say "no, I don't really fell like it, maybe tomorrow." I promise you one thing though you get back on the treadmill routinely, you do the workout and you will feel better about yourself instantly. Once you see your progress from your treadmill workout "in calories" you will begin to remember what it takes to get rid of the bag of cookies. After a while of getting back into the workout and diet routine it will become just that an routine and you will stop thinking about the "maybe tomorrow". Good Luck I know you can do it! You just have to believe in yourself and push yourself to jump that initial bar again and stick with it.0
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I've been there ...one get rid off the junk ...throw them out.. give them away.. do whatever you have to do to get it out of the house ...as far as the treadmill ..when you are ready ...make it 2 mins at a time ..make small goals ..when my father died I ate or drank ...because I didnt know how to deal with sadness pain unsolved things...you have already done the right thing is write it out by asking for help...I PROMISE it will get better...Teas and crunchy foods like bell pepper ..popcorn ..apple..carrot ...things that make sounds when you eat them make you fill up...and MFP0
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You have just been through a very sad and exhausting ordeal. I know only too well since I have suffered many losses in the last few years.....It takes a lot out of you and gets your emotions and resolve all out of sorts!!
First be patient with yourself. Look at those pictures of you before you lost the 50+ pounds. Think about the increased energy that you have......your not totally there but you have made great progress! Think about your MFP friends who care about you so much and are there for you on the good days and the not so good days!!!!! Think about your improved health and how you have been able to get off some medication.
I could go on and on, but mostly I know you are not a quitter!! You won't quit and we won't let you because right now fatigue and sadness are talking, not the real you! You have helped others so much and now you need to lean on us to help you see that you are so worth it and your health and quality of life are attainable and so important!!
I love you my friend!!!0
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