Sigh I hate breakups
Grimmerick
Posts: 3,342 Member
My fiance and I just broke up after 3 almost 4 years together. He changed his mind and decided he didn't want kids (he is 41 and has kids previously) I am 28 never been married or have had any children but I told him from the get go that I wanted them. I don't feel we have wasted our experiences but I am mad that he wasted my time telling me he wanted them when he really didnt' know. I know I am only 28 almost 29 but now I feel like I have to start all over again...........*sigh* at least I am thinner now. Anybody got some words of wisdom or stories of being in a similar situation to make me feel better lol
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Replies
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No pearls of wisdom, as I am a twit. I am sorry that you're going through this, and wish you the best, buddy.0
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You're young. Don't look back and don't let it affect future relationships.0
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THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT YOU WERE HONEST FROM THE START AND HE WASN'T HONEST WITH HIMSELF OR YOU. AT LEAST FOR 3 YEARS. BE THANKFUL IT ENDED BEFORE YOU HAD CHILDREN ONLY TO FIND OUT HE DIDN'T WANT THEM. EASIER SAID THAN DONE I KNOW
I REALLY AM SORRY LOVE 0 -
I'm sorry for your pain. :flowerforyou:
Just know Everyone comes into your life for a reason. Thankfully, you ARE still young and can pick up and start again with someone who wants the same things you do. Imagine if it would've been 6, 7 8 years.
Look for the good. :flowerforyou:0 -
Even though it doesn't feel like it now - it's better now than later.
It'll get better... and please take your time to heal and reflect.0 -
That sucks. I'm sorry to hear this.0
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My ex didn't change his mind about children until after we were married.
I know it hurts, but you will be able to have the life you want. Just focus on yourself right now.0 -
I am so sorry to hear about this! (((hugs)))0
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I'm sorry he changed his mind. But that doesn't mean he wasted your time. Our experiences make us who we are.0
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Sorry you're going through a tough time right now. There are lots of people out there in similar situations and it's better to know now rather than later. You will get through this and find what you're looking for.0
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I'm so sorry.0
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damn sorry to hear that..was in a situation like yours and i know it hurts but it wil get better..0
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I'm sorry for your pain but you are young. I had my 3rd daughter and 37 and I know women who've had kids in their 40's. You will meet the right guy who will worship you and want to give you babies that look just like you because he loves you so much.0
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At least you didn't waste your life and money on trying to make a marriage work with him. You'll find somebody, you have the rest of forever.
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All the cliches in the world won't make you feel better right at this moment but I will say: LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE.
F'realz. Focus on yourself and your goals. My break strategy is always take the offense. Become too busy, pretty and popular to worry about heartbreak.
I very recently went through ANOTHER break up so I'm just starting to feel like a real person again. You'll get there. You're strong!0 -
Wow, I hope I can get a 20-something when I'm over 40! :drinker:0
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Better than getting a divorce at 29 with 2 kids their dad didn't want.
(that's what happened to my mom)0 -
I'm sorry. It will get better.0
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Same EXACT thing happened to me (with a side dish of cheating on his part). It will suck, and you will be really sad. Just keep doing the best you can to stay active and keep your mind off of him. He came back about 2 weeks after dumping me and begged for a second chance. I just walked away and never looked back. Good luck!0
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AAww Hun, Im sorry to hear of this and I know your heart is breaking, BUT trust me He did you a favor and saved you a tone of heartache for later down the road. Time heals all and this shall pass. You deserve someone who wants and needs the same things as you do. . He is out there, You will find him who knows maybe you have already met him. God works in mysterious ways my friend...When one door closes another one opnes.. You will be fine.. I know this is hard to hear or beleive but YOU will be just fine.. Months from now you will be telling him Thanks you for letting you go so that you could find your TRUE soulmate !
Hugs to you !~0 -
dont fret.... look at it as a chapter in your life...and now its time to write another one, your still so young and have alot of dreams and goals to set for yourself. People come in and out of our lives for many different reasons...some good, some ...well not so good and others for the sheer joy of friendship and growen into who we are !!! Just reflect on whats good in your life and all other things will fall into place. I have a saying that i say to my kids all the time ~~ GOOG THINGS FALL APART SO BETTER THINGS CAN COME TOGETHER ~~ chin high, be strong0
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HUGS My ex husand not wanting kids was part of the resin we ended up getting divorced. The more I think about it, even if he DID want kids he wouldn't have been the type of father I would want for my kids. I don't know if you can look at yours and say the same thing, but I hope that you get to a point where you can see that things are better this way. If I had never been with my Ex then chances are I would have never reunited with the man that is now my wonderful husband who is a million times better than the previous one. I really hope you have the same experience HUGS0
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I'm sorry girl, I can imagine the pain your feeling (hugs). Breaks ups doo suck. Your young and beautiful you'll find another man who will scoop you up and want all the same things as you do. As much as your fiance is a flake he did you a favor. Because you could have been with him for more years thinking you were on the same page. Just focus on healing and when you have. Get your new skinny but out that door and show those men how wonderful you are. Too bad for your ex it's hiss loss not yours.0
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This.You're young. Don't look back and don't let it affect future relationships.0 -
Sorry to hear about the breakup, they do suck and there's really not much more you can say about it.0
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I know what your goin thru...
Me and my ex was together for almost 7 years of him tellin me he wasnt ready for kids, didnt want them... ect ect.
I had my son 3 years ago... he kinda plays a part in his life...
He now has a girlfriend and thier daughter turns one this month. Smh...
Its not easy. U got lucky not having kids and then him walking out, i dont wish that on anybody.
Your still young, you will find what you deserve. You deserve it!
Good luck!0 -
op, that sucks but as many have said and will say, you are better off, time to dust yourself off and move on, nobody said it will be easy but you can do it0
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OP...very sorry that you are going through this but better to have found out now than years down the road...0
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I'm in a similar place right now. I'm 28 and at the very end of a divorce after 6 years of marriage. Fortunately we have no children! Be happy this happened before any children came into play! And seriously, just think about all the awesome possibilities out there! And the great opportunity this is to just do your own thing for a while! That's what I'm doing!0
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I'm sorry you're hurting. It sucks that he didn't tell you from the beginning that he was unsure about having more, but good that he told you before you wasted any more time. (((hugs)))0
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