Desperately wanting kids

LolasEpicJourney
LolasEpicJourney Posts: 1,010 Member
edited October 5 in Motivation and Support
I don't know how people go through years of this torment
My heart is breaking so bad tonight
I just want to start a family
What is wrong with me? I'm in my prime and its just not happening
Its only been a year
Its been 63 lbs
Its been a lot if heart ache already
How much can I take

Replies

  • taylorromanyk
    taylorromanyk Posts: 62
    My heart aches for you...
  • kimberg75
    kimberg75 Posts: 412 Member
    I'm sorry for your heartache....and I hope you get your wish soon!! Best of luck to you!
  • glenr79
    glenr79 Posts: 283 Member
    I am 32 and don't have any kids yet either.... I really want to start a family soon too!!! I know where you are coming from
  • Bigmomma0u812
    Bigmomma0u812 Posts: 118
    It took me a little over a year to get pregnant. I have PCOS. I know this feeling. I felt like everyone in the world was pregnant and they were radiating happiness and I was standing on my head (umm, literally) and I was getting nothing. Every month when I got my period it was like a slap in the face. There are people in the world that try for years with no luck at all. If you have PCOS there are medications that help. I got pregnant VERY fast after getting on metoformin (sp?). I wish you luck. I know how stressful it is, but its so worth it when it happens.
  • PennyNickel14
    PennyNickel14 Posts: 749 Member
    There is a TTC group here; They can give you lots of support and loving.

    I am so so sorry you are struggling with this.

    /Hugs
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    I'm sorry, I wish I knew what to say to help.
  • bdmom3
    bdmom3 Posts: 21
    I know how you feel and I know it's very frustrating/depressing. It's been 18 months and I'm still not pregnant. I tried charting and everything else but month after month of dissapointment. My OBGYN offered to put me on meds to help but I decided to focus on myself for now. I figured that if I felt better about myself I could enjoy a pregnancy much, much more. I'm sorry for your hurt and I truly hope things get better for you soon. You have lost 63 lbs. That's great, just keep it up and your body will thank you (with a baby).
  • melizerd
    melizerd Posts: 870 Member
    Hugs!

    It took us a year and a half, just about the time that my doctor would have started looking for a "real" reason. I suggest finding out what your partner's sperm count is first, it's a non-invasive test for him so easy to do and go from there. Finding out issues on the woman's side is more complicated so start with the easy stuff (HUGS)
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    There are plenty of kids in the foster and adoption systems that feel the same pain that you do. They want a loving family just as much as you want a child.
  • budgetqueen79
    budgetqueen79 Posts: 310 Member
    (((HUGS)))
  • angel79202
    angel79202 Posts: 1,012 Member
    Anyone who needs support, please feel free to join us at the TTC/Infertility Group I created, lots of love here:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/41-ttc-for-future-mommies-to-be

    Hubby and I have been struggling for 4 years..
  • IvoryParchment
    IvoryParchment Posts: 651 Member
    I hope your future children appreciate how much they were wanted!

    Losing 63 lbs in a year is so impressive. Lots of people's doctors tell them they have to lose weight to get pregnant, but very few follow through like you have. You are still above your goal weight, so you needn't assume it "didn't work" yet, either.

    You have improved your health by getting your weight down, so even if you need some fertility treatment despite the weight loss, it certainly wasn't a wasted effort.
  • Rheatheylia
    Rheatheylia Posts: 53 Member
    I exist despite the doctors telling my mother she was completely unable to have children. It took ten years, my mom was 30 when my older sister was born, but it happened. Don't give up hope, and don't stress! Just keep doing what's best for you, so you'll be the best you you can be for your baby!
  • moyafigura
    moyafigura Posts: 140 Member
    So sorry to hear what you are going through :( Its so sad to know of people who would love to have a baby, and its not happening, and others who have them and throw them out.
    It took eight years before we had our first daughter (before that i miscarried three), after she was born, took us almost two years to get pregnant with the second. I believe all is in Gods hands, and his plans for us are sometimes different from ours.
    Hope everything works out for you and you have a beautiful family.
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
    Aww... Hugs... I hope the best for you. It will happen one day soon.
  • AprilVal
    AprilVal Posts: 940 Member
    Ive been in a similar situatoin.. My hubby and I got pregnant when we first started dating, I lost the baby.. and we havent had luck since.. :( Its soo depressing and breaks your heart.. :( If you need to talk im here..
  • Rhodygarden
    Rhodygarden Posts: 103
    I know how hard this can be - I have written personally.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    Its so sad to know of people who would love to have a baby, and its not happening, and others who have them and throw them out.

    And that's exactly why adoption is such a beautiful thing. Everyone gets what they want. Parents get a child, a child gets a family, everyone is happy.
  • Elisirmon
    Elisirmon Posts: 273 Member
    It took me over a year to get my first and the I got prego with my second not quite a year after that then my third took me two years and then instantly two months after my third I was prego again! Stress has alot to do with not getting pregnant so you need to find ways to relax make it a game and don't think about it coming because it will. Have you seen a doctor to to make sure it isn't something more serious?
  • Phoenix1401
    Phoenix1401 Posts: 711 Member
    My heart aches for you. You'll be in my prayers tonight God will bless you with a wonderful gift one day please stay positive and always keep praying and keep faith in him. *hugs*
  • LolasEpicJourney
    LolasEpicJourney Posts: 1,010 Member
    Thanks for your words everyone.
    I have been charting things for a while now.
    I made a doctors appointment for next month also.
    the very idea that I could have REAL infertility issues scares me so bad.
    I am all for adoption which is why I want to know if I can or can't have my own children.
    My parents had issues having children. They adopted my sister and 4 years later were finally able to have one of their own. My mother's issues were flukey and not genetic though so it doesn't really help my situation.
  • Pangui
    Pangui Posts: 373 Member
    While I can appreciate your grief, I cannot share it. I have never wanted to bring another child into this over crowded and over-populated world. Maybe I am just a pessimist. I don't place much value in genetics. That's why, when my husband mentioned that he would like to be a father after 20 years together, we adopted. I don't even have any idea if I could have had children or not. For us, adoption was our First Choice.

    Now I can really appreciate what I would have been missing out on. Being a parent is definitely the most rewarding and difficult choice I have ever made. I am so glad we adopted, especially when there are so many wonderful and needy children in the world.

    Even if you do go on and have success bringing another life into this world, please consider adoption.
  • IvoryParchment
    IvoryParchment Posts: 651 Member
    It's not that easy to adopt -- it's very expensive, and someone can be excluded for health reasons, including being overweight. Many countries are cutting down on foreign adoptions due to abuse (children kidnapped and sold) or because it looks bad that they can't care for their own orphans. You see kids suffering in other parts of the world and just want to go take one in your arms and love it, but not everyone is Madonna and able to cut through all the constantly changing red tape in countries that run on bribery.
  • aroller1
    aroller1 Posts: 4 Member
    I understand what your going through. Me and my husband have been trying for 2 years come April. It sucks because I know its me. I adopted his children after we got married. They were 5months and 3 years when we got together and now they are 6 and 9. So they are my babies but I missed the whole pregnancy experience as well as having to get to hold a newborn. I'm still trying and haven't given up. In fact have been seeing a wonderful doctor through this. Just gotta trim off the extra weight and save $. Infertility stuff is super high. If you ever need to talk just send me a message.
  • moyafigura
    moyafigura Posts: 140 Member
    Its so sad to know of people who would love to have a baby, and its not happening, and others who have them and throw them out.

    And that's exactly why adoption is such a beautiful thing. Everyone gets what they want. Parents get a child, a child gets a family, everyone is happy.

    I am very supportive of adoption. Just wanted to clarify "throw them out" meant babies found in the trash, that comment was actually made around the time i saw a story on tv about that. Breaks my heart. If only those kind of people would realize that they would be better of giving the baby to someone.
  • melaniejames
    melaniejames Posts: 11 Member
    I tried for 5 years with my first husband and never even got pregnant. I've been with my current hubby for a year and with the help of meds got pregnant twice. Despite the pregnancies not holding and all the emotions that come with the hope and then the failure at least now I know I can get pregnant. It gives me hope that maybe with weight loss, meds, and exercise that maybe I will get pregnant and stay pregnant. If not it will be a whole lot of saving money to afford infertility treatments and/or adoption.
  • coloradocuppiecake
    coloradocuppiecake Posts: 129
    Im sorry that you are going through this. It's painful when you want children so badly. 2Yrs ago I got pregnant and at the 12th week I found out that it was ectopic. I was rushed into surgery where they removed my right tube. Somehow during the surgery they damaged the nerve to my left leg and left that side paralyzed. After 2 yrs of being in pain everyday and depression, I am finally able
    to walk without a cane. Im scared to death to try again. Im 43 and I honestly couldnt go through that pain again. So, we are trying to
    establish a somewhat normal life again. I need to get back to work (fyi- I tried to sue the dr but no lawyer would touch the case)
    My boyfriend is the only one who works. Life is tough but 2 yrs ago it was a nightmare. Anyway, I wish you luck and some day there
    will be a baby for us. Maybe not one I had myself, but one to love as our own.
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