How to shake old body image?

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scottlikescake
scottlikescake Posts: 36
edited October 2024 in Motivation and Support
I've lost 97 pounds over the course of 2011, I've gone down 4 trouser sizes and lost 8 inches from my waist to become 32 inches, my collar size went from 18 to 14 and a half and casual shirts from XL to M. But still, when I look at myself in the mirror I still see the 259 pound me, not the 166 pound healthy weight me I actually am. It's really difficult for me I can't seem to escape my old body, I still feel obese like I need to keep dieting until my BMI says I am underweight as I don't believe I am normal weight with a BMI of 22 I am so frustrated :-(

The scales say one thing and my brain says another. I'm constantly breathing in and trying to maintain a pose that makes me look thin, tugging at my shirt to hide moobs that are long gone.

I can unlearn this behaviour surely?!!

Replies

  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    I can unlearn this behaviour surely?!!

    Have you considered talking to a professional about this?

    Also, in for answers. I hear about this issue a lot, and I know it's pretty common. Wish I could help but I have no clue about this.

    EDIT: And big congrats to you on your weight loss!
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
    I can totally relate, I'm down 31 pounds went from a size 10 to a size 4 and yet I still "feel" fat. I think we just need to adjust and get used to the new us! ;)
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    Congratulations!!! You have done a so much work to achieve a healthy weight!

    Truthfully I have heard that it takes about a year for many people's brains to catch up to where their bodies are at. In other words give yourself time. You will adjust! Your thoughts about your physical size and shape will transform but I guess just as our bodies need time to change... so does our brain.

    :flowerforyou:
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
    Congrats on the weight loss, and I can indentify with what you are saying. Pryor to my lifestyle change part of my personality of that of "The Jolly Fat Man" Self depreciating humor...etc. Deep down I know it was a defense mechanism to hide the fact that was fat. I carried that personality up until last year when my sister pulled me aside and said "You know...that persona doesn't work for you anymore. You're not a "Fat Man" anymore." It was a great compliment. But it also got me thinking that a different body calls for a different personality. Now I'm the "Slow Runner" :bigsmile:
  • Teliooo
    Teliooo Posts: 725 Member
    I hear ya. My house mate's mother came round the other day and said you are so slim what size are you an 8. I was like nahhh and then I thought hang on, I am a size 8-10 top half yet I can't just take the compliment. I am so used to being huge that I don't even notice how much slimmer I am. I think you just have to take it a step at a time and maybe seek professional advice if you feel like you may have a problem.

    I think you have to take the compliments that come and compliment yourself a lot. Be proud of your achievement but never think of yourself as a weight but rather in terms of how healthy you are. You can weight 200 pounds but if you are happy and healthy, that is all that should matter.

    Congrat x
  • Namaste1983
    Namaste1983 Posts: 603 Member
    IT WILL GET EASIER AS YOU SETTLE INTO YOUR NEW BODY. I STILL CATCH MYSELF IN A WINDOW REFLECTION AND THINK OH THATS A CUTE OUTFIT AND SERIOUSLY DON'T MAKE THE CONNECTION THAT ITS ME. IT'S KIND OF FUNNY WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT. WE HAVE HAD YEARS OF CONDITIONING AND THE WEIGHTLOSS DIDN'T TAKE THAT LONG TO COME OFF. WORK ON IT AND TALK TO OTHERS ABOUT IT. TAKE PICTURES OF YOURSELF WITH FRIENDS AND WORK ON RECOGNIZING YOURSELF. PLAY WITH ANGLES ON YOUR PICS. I REMEMBER MY BROTHER SAYING "YOU STOPPED DOING THE FAT GIRL POSE" I HAD NO IDEA WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT BUT HE SAID "FAT CHICKS TAKE PICS ABOVE THEIR HEADS TO LOOK SMALLER" MEAN STATEMENT? YES. TRUE? IN MY CASE, YES. AS I'VE GOTTEN SMALLER THE ANGLE HAS SHIFTED AND I TAKE PICTURES FULL ON. WE NEED TO WORK ON ADAPTING TO THE NEW PERSON AND THE INTERNAL PART OF US USUALLY REQUIRES MORE WORK THAN THE OUTSIDE. YOU CAN DO THIS, IT JUST TAKES TIME. YOU WILL FEEL NORMAL. WHATEVER NORMAL IS LOL.
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
    . PLAY WITH ANGLES ON YOUR PICS. I REMEMBER MY BROTHER SAYING "YOU STOPPED DOING THE FAT GIRL POSE" I HAD NO IDEA WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT BUT HE SAID "FAT CHICKS TAKE PICS ABOVE THEIR HEADS TO LOOK SMALLER" MEAN STATEMENT? YES. TRUE? IN MY CASE, YES. AS I'VE GOTTEN SMALLER THE ANGLE HAS SHIFTED AND I TAKE PICTURES FULL

    Totally! Also, not being afraid of "full body shots".

    We'll always have body image issues, that's why we all gained weight in the first place. It's time to FORCE ourselves to look and praise our progress!
  • JasonSwetland
    JasonSwetland Posts: 235 Member
    I understand where you are coming from, although I havent been quite as succesful as you yet. ill get there. Even now I hate looking at the new thinner 'Sexier' leaner meaner me in pictures and the mirror. Down from XXL to L size shirts and jackets and 44 in waist to 36 was a huge change in my body. Co workrs notice it, My kids are amazed, my mom says its like Im a kid again (I still have 50 to get to my goal again so Its not quite that young looking I was 195 lean mass when I graduated high school) My wife says I look hot, all my friends say I look great yet I look in the mirror and I still see a big Fat guy staring back at me.

    I think the suggestion from one guy is right - talk to a pr about self image issues, and maybe even a group therapy option. Im glad you posted this, because this is someting that I mayconsider doing, but might not have made the connection on my own that I may need that kind of help.

    Congratulations on your success, you look great- and your smile in your pic sure looks happy. I hope you enjoy your success soon!!!
  • fakeplastictree
    fakeplastictree Posts: 834 Member
    awww. Yes I think a lot of us have this problem Just don't feel like you are alone on this. One thing I learned from Jillian on Biggest Loser (cliche I know) but she says to celebrate the successes and compliments and such. So just try to train yourself as you have with the process you went through to lose the weight. I need to work on this as well. Even though I'm still not at my ideal weight and body composition I have lost a lot and still feel very ugly and fat aaaallll the time.


    :flowerforyou:
  • nancycola
    nancycola Posts: 98 Member
    First: CONGRATULATIONS! That is a huge amount of weight to have lost. Good for you!

    Second, something that might help you if going to a therapist is not your thing is maybe going to a nutritional coach or life coach. You might need to start training to mentally talk to yourself differently. It sounds cheesy but positive affirmations may help. Maybe keep a short list of positive statements by your bedside table to say to yourself nightly. They should be statements that get you to accept the thin, healthy person you are now.
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,900 Member
    I post my photos fishing for complements or I dance in front of a mirror, my hubby, or I have the Zumba class where I can watch myself in the big mirror.

    The reason I do this is because
    1. I am an audible learner (or like to listen, then things stick).
    2. 174 lbs is a lot to weight for a size 8 US pant and small - med top.
    3. my own doc urged me to stop focusing on weight and start focusing on a healthy life style.
    4. I am a woman and weight is in my head.
    5. some times it is hard to fight off the urge to starve myself so I may weigh less, especially since I used to have ED in high school.

    I find that posting my pics, fishing for complements on here helps me realize what I have accomplished when I am having a hard time seeing it. I do this especially on days I weigh myself (come on who heard of a person weighing 174 and fitting size 8?) It still bothers me that I weigh so much and my friends weigh so little. My best friend is a size 16 and weighs 170 something.

    It will be ok, and you will start seeing it more and more with time. There may still be days where you just don't. I am not comfortable saying this out loud even to mu hubby, I am not sure why I am just not.

    I am not sure if this helps, but at least you will know that you are not alone :)
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    First of all - CONGRATULATIONS!
    Second - You really do look great.
    Third - I also still struggle with this issue. I think sometimes it takes a while for our brains to catch up with our bodies.
  • PrincessEliNa
    PrincessEliNa Posts: 524 Member
    All I can say is you look great, congrats on the weight loss you good looking bloke~!
  • ratherbeskiing
    ratherbeskiing Posts: 847 Member
    I am not sure how to shake it because I also do it. I just dance around to "I'm sexy and I know it- I work out!" Hoping one day it sinks in. :wink:
  • Scorpioangel
    Scorpioangel Posts: 951 Member
    I am not sure how to shake it because I also do it. I just dance around to "I'm sexy and I know it- I work out!" Hoping one day it sinks in. :wink:

    HAHA I love that song!!!!!
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