Feeling embarassed...

I only tell someone when it impacts them, like if I am going to someones house for dinner.
There is no need for others around me to know until I am ready to tell them.

Firstly: Don't be embarrassed! Most people dwell on the question "how did I let myself gain this much weight?" and then they get stuck on that question and it just makes them feel bad about themselves. The reality of it is yes, you gained weight. But so what? You can do something about it so .. do something about it.

Secondly: No one needs to know your plans or ... really anything personal about your life. They'll be able to see the difference for themselves.

Do what feels comfortable. The one thing that is good about telling people that you are making changes is that it prevents you from eating the bad stuff in order to continue hiding it. Like, if you were to go out to a pub and noboby knew you were trying to make a change, then you might order a cheeseburger and fries in order to avoid the comments about why you are eating a salad.

I totally understand where this is coming from though. I used to feel the same way, but now I don't care.

Do what makes you feel best. I don't tell people in general, but when they see m not eating with them like I used to at work or home, they ask, or when they see weight loss, they ask, so yes, some people know. But, I don't announce it to anyone. I"m really NOT one for the limelight.

I recently read a book called "Secrets of a Former Fat Girl", which offers great advice as far as turning your physical life around. One of the pieces of advice in the book was to not tell anyone about your "diet", and basically the reason for that is you're already your own worst critic, so do you really need your friends and family stepping in to say "should you be having that?" or giving you unsolicited advice like "you know, low carb is the only way to go..." So if you're going the rogue route, I say pick up the book and skim that chapter - she does offer tips on how to keep your plans under wraps.

However, I agree with other comments that it's a personal choice. I talk to my mom openly about my diet, especially since she's been there and done that. Maybe there's people you're comfortable talking to, and then there's people you would prefer not know you're dieting. Do what feels best for you, as well as what will keep you on the straight and narrow (you don't want people who will coddle you when you binge on oreos or skip the gym for a week).

I so understand about your feelings about not wanting tell anyone - I don't think it is anyone's business. It is sort of embarrasing - I sometimes think when you're overweight everyone sees it - since they do..... In the past I would never tell anyone - but this time it is different - maybe cause this time I am going to do it!!!!! I started telling people in my spinning class since they noticed I lost weight - so I told them about MFP....

I feel the same way. I'm totally humiliated to be heavier than any woman I know... I don't know a single one bigger - it may be a silly way to think, but that's where my brain is right now. Shouldn't my aging mom have more rolls? My recently pregnant big sis? ...well no, I'M the big gal in the family and I just totally don't want to tell anyone what I weigh or let them add it up either even if I do succeed. It's not my fav trait!
So, I'm hoping to find buddies right here at MFP to help hold me accountable... Just started today! Best of luck everyone!
~Monica

That's why you don't tell anyone. You don't want someone all in your business and making comments like "aren't you on a diet? Should you be eating that?"

*kitten* that. I keep it to myself/ loved ones who won't judge me. So many people in today's society have so many misconceptions on what portion/healthy/etc.

For what it's worth, I told EVERYONE. And here's why: The more people you tell, the more potential support you have. And the more people you tell, the more people are going to ask you about it. How are you doing, have you lost weight, etc? And more people paying attention means more people telling you what a good job your doing. And more people to get you back on track when you start to slip.

Are there days I wish I had told no one so I could go eat that chesseburger and fries? You betcha! BUT...because everyone I know is aware that I'm working on a permanent change, I steer clear of the fatty and fried foods 95% of the time. It's accountability for me.

That said, weight loss is a deeply personal journey and you have to do what's right for you and your personality.

Best of luck! This community is so supportive; you may find all you need right here! :happy:

I've told no one except my partner (and even with him I play it down). That's what feels right for me. I'm as sure as I can be that if I'd told people I would have stopped within the first week or so - it's not about having permission to 'eat that cheeseburger' - I'm accountable to me. I tell people I've joined the gym, so they know I'm doing something (given that it's really out of character for me!), but that's it. I'm very glad that I didn't go with the accountability thing as I really don't think it would have helped me at all.

It's hard when you're so new at it. After you've been at it for a while and notice changes in your body you will probably feel a lot more comfortable talking about it. I never would have told someone my weight when I started. But now I don't feel the sense of shame talking about it.

Best of luck! We are all rooting for you!

I told my mum, but that was about it. When I'd dropped 20 lbs or so, people started asking me if I'd lost weight, but I just sort of smiled and said I'd been eating healthier. I don't think I've told anyone outside of my immediate family that I'm on a 'diet' as such.

I think you should only tell people you're comfortable with. It's no one's business but your own. Don't listen to people who tease you about what you're eating or how much you're exercising. All that matters is that you're happy and working on it yourself.