Very frustrated and angry ...

None of you know me. And you don't have to read this. I just have to type it because I am about to blow a flipping gasket.

I'm a single mom of 3 girls. Twins are 11 and in 6th grade. Little is 8 and in 2nd grade (late birthday). My ex does not live around here but is finally paying child support again. My mom moved down here about 18 months ago to help. She is 69 and a type 2 diabetic... insulin 2x per day. She has gained a lot of weight since she has been here because she basically sits on her *kitten* in her recliner and reads, sleeps, or watches TV. That was all she did in NJ at her place but still. She does pick the kids up at school if I have to work over pick-up times. She watches them if I have to work nights or weekends. This is helpful, too. She also helps with some of the bills. Things were rough after my ex left us and until she moved here we were in a downward spiral.

Anyway, I appreciate her help. I appreciate her moving down here. I appreciate everything she has done and does for us. But it is not a one-way street here. I have to make sure she goes to the doctor. I have to take her places because she doesn't know how to get there. I have to put up with her talking with her mouth full ALL THE TIME. Her hiding cookies and other sweets because she knows she is not supposed to eat them but she does anyway. Her blood sugar not being under control because she does this and does not eat right OR follow the doctor's orders. I have to deal with her memory not being what it should be because she doesn't manage her sugar. Then when I remind her nicely about something or ask if she remembers... and I only do this occasionally, she flies off the handle. Conversely, when she forgets something or mixes it up, she asks why I don't remind her or she uses the excuse that she is old. I make ALL of the calls for doctors, specialists, etc. I make all of the calls for utilities, bill questions, etc. I am solely responsible for planning and making dinners. No problem, I'd have to do that if I was alone but then it wouldn't be coupled with the fact that she SITS AND DOES NOTHING most of the day on most days.

Now I am on my journey to get healthy. I eat differently. I work out. I take walks. I thought she was going to be supportive of this. But she has flipped on me... again! She is suggesting constantly that I am working out too often and I'm going to burn out. I work out 5 mornings a week and walk 3-5 times per week. Each activity is approximately 30-40 minutes. She speaks so negatively that it is frustrating. I've prayed and been trying to be more positive in my interactions with others and my own self-talk and what I allow my brain to hear. This is just so frustrating.

I am just so frustrated. When my children misbehave, as children do, not only do I have to deal with their misbehavior but if she is here, I have to hear her yelling at them or making fun of them, or whatever. And then other times she tells me how good they really are. UGH. It's like Sybil sometimes! Oh and it is even better if something happens when I'm not here because I have to hear it and she puts on the silent treatment first. So I come home from work (sometimes 12 hour day) and I ask how things went. I look at her face and if she doesn't say anything, I know it was bad... at least to her. She brought this on herself with not following through on punishments and not being consistent in her rules and requirements of them. I suggested a book when she first moved down so that we would both be on the same page with the girls. She told me that it was ridiculous and that she wasn't going to do it. NOW she says to me the other day... what happened to the book we were going to do with the girls. WHAT?!?!?! I said, YOU told me you thought it wasn't worth it and wouldn't do any good.

So... before people start bashing me because I am not GRATEFUL for my mom's help... I am. But anyone that has met my mom and knows me, wonders how I am making it because we are polar opposites when it comes to the girls. I don't often vent and maybe that is because I don't feel like I have someone to vent to... but I try not to complain. I bite my tongue a lot. I compromise before things get to the point of an argument more times than I can count.

There is so much more that I cannot even get into at the moment because I might break the server with rantings.