Someone help me! :(

adcrunner
adcrunner Posts: 16
edited October 6 in Food and Nutrition
Hi all,
I'm a recovering bulimic and have had a really difficult time getting through today...

for breakfast i had a smoothie with greek yogurt, frozen berries, carrots and protein powder
lunch was a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread with grapes
for dinner i had a spinach salad with lots of veggies (carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, onions, broccoli) and chicken breast with ken's lite raspberry vinagrette
i also did a pretty intense workout- i have a heart rate monitor and it says i burned about 1110 calories or so
ive had about 40 oz of water today (and a diet coke... my weakness!!!)

sooo anyways on the way out of the dining hall (im in college) i grabbed a cookie... and just as it always seems to be, one just wasnt enough. on the way back to my dorm i bought another (this one was A LOT bigger- 6 inches in diameter maybe?)... that was about 2 hours ago. ive been sitting in my room since then just trying to distract myself and get food off of my mind (usually something as innocent as a cookie leads to an all out binge.. im determined to NOT let that be the case tonight).

im just really upset now cause i feel like i completely totaled my plans of eating healthy.. why do i feel like this :(? ahhh any advice/ support is GREATLY appreciated

Replies

  • abracasqueak
    abracasqueak Posts: 30
    You ate really well today, and a cookie or two is not going to ruin your entire day of eating healthy. I honestly know how you feel, I work as a dog bather at a grooming salon, and of course the owners bring in TRAYS of cookies and candy. I did great all day that day and then at the very end I basically binged on about 6-8 cookies. I felt like CRAP, but then I realized how great I ate all day and remembered the feeling I felt when the cookie binge happened. So today I exercised, and ate really well. I truly feel as though I had a small set back, but I'm stronger than that and in the future, I know it's okay to eat a sweet food, but only if it's in my calorie range. It's okay to have a cookie or two, just fit it into your daily cals, and exercise - fuel your body with what it needs, and give in when your limits allow. Everything is okay, and always remember, it's never too late to make your next healthy choice. You're okay. :)
  • cpar621
    cpar621 Posts: 26
    I'm also a recovering bulimic and I had a terrible day today, too. I ended up purging when I felt like I overate but looking back on it it really wasn't that much. I usually have some defense mechanisms that work well, but I wasn't able to use any of them today. Here are a couple methods I use to help me stay on a winning streak:

    If I'm afraid I might binge:
    -I brush my teeth after everything I eat. The toothpaste taste in my mouth makes other food I might be craving not taste as good. This also works really well with a cough drop or an altoid.
    -Eat a snack WITH someone. It's so much easier to fall into a binge when you're alone.
    -Get off the couch, away from the TV, or any other place where you tend to binge uncontrollably.

    If I'm afraid I might purge:
    -I eat a tablespoon or two of salsa (or anything spicy). It burns so much coming back up that I can't even think about purging. Anything crunchy like granola bars, tortilla chips, etc. are also uncomfortable purge foods that are good deterrents.
    -Put lotion or perfume on your fingers so they taste awful if you try to force yourself to purge. You can do the same with any other object you might use to purge.
    -Meet up with a friend; purging is also hard to do if you're not alone.

    I hope some of these things can help with you with the practical day-to-day fight. These aren't a cure, obviously, so definitely see a counselor if you haven't already. Add me as a friend if you want to keep in touch and help each other out.
  • adcrunner
    adcrunner Posts: 16
    abracasqueak, that was like EXACTLY what i needed to here.. i think i just needed reassurance that i didnt blow my diet (not at all! almost everything i ate was healthy). I know id really feel terrible tomorrow if i binged tonight... but 2 cookies really cant make that much of an impact.

    cpar621, great great great advice! seriously. ive never heard of the lotion one (lol idk where ive been). haha but that actually is a really good idea. ive pretty much gotten over the purging aspect of the disease (ive been talking to a counselor for a few months)... now the only thing im struggling with is keeping my eating in check. ill for sure friend you though! its greatttt to have other people to talk about this cause literally no one understands. i dont usually log my foods (i just use the site to like check calories occasionally) but i log on fairly often so message me or whatever if you need someone to talk to about it!
  • abracasqueak
    abracasqueak Posts: 30
    I'm glad that made you feel better! I know all too well how it feels when the food guilt kicks in!
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