how do i cope with losing a loved one without turning to foo

ashleymcquown
ashleymcquown Posts: 80
edited October 6 in Motivation and Support
i lost both of my parents this year (my dad passed away close to Thanksgiving) and I'm not sure how to cope with the holidays. I'm afraid that the upcoming weeks of vacation are going to be tough in terms of maintaining my weight and avoiding binges. I've been making progress and I really don't want to undo all of my hard work. Any ideas?

Replies

  • chatterbox3110
    chatterbox3110 Posts: 630 Member
    3 years ago I lost my Dad in mid-November. I was on holiday at the time, and my children decided not to tell me until I got home which was 3 days afterwards, which I could understand, but didn't make it hurt any the less.

    I found that when Christmas came around by keeping busy I was able to stay in control. If you feel stressed why not go for a walk, it will keep you away from the fridge, clear your mind and burn off calories.

    I'm sorry that you've had such a horrendous year (hug) and my heart goes out to you.
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,330 Member
    My condolences. My only suggestion is instead of trying to deal with emotions with food, which by the way won't help at all, but only make you feel worse afterward, you use something more productive. I would personally suggest exercise or getting involved in helping and serving others. You could do both or other things as well.
  • ashleymcquown
    ashleymcquown Posts: 80
    Here is my challenge: I've been going through a CBT program to help me with my binge eating and it seems to be working. Unfortunately, since I'm not using food to cope as often, my feelings have become a lot more intense. I feel hopeless because I don't know what to do with my sadness. I get so overwhelmed sometimes that all I can do is cry. I'm not trying to sound dramatic here either. I am not one to cry that often but everything seems to be hitting me pretty hard right now. Exercise has helped me tremendously but there are times when it's not practical (such as at work or late at night). I'm just trying to find as many alternatives to food as possible so i will always have something to turn to other than food.

    Thank you both by the way. Glad to know that people understand.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    It's tough, no mistake. My mum passed away in August and somehow I've managed to stay pretty stable since then. I was almost at the point of maintaining anyway, so i changed my cals up to maintenance and hung there for a few months. I had a few days of really bad eating (read: turning to chocolate for comfort) but I didn't beat myself up about it, just decided to treat each day as a new start and I've done OK overall.
    I dropped my cals down again at the beginning of December to see if I can knock off the last kg or two before the end of the year - but really, as long as the scale doesn't go up, I'm going to count that as a success.
    The thing that has helped me the most has been exercise. Running has become my stress release, it's not unusual for me to run and cry at the same time but I always feel better when I'm done.
    And I think logging my food has helped too -it's given me something positive to focus on when there is so much bad stuff happening.
    So, I really don't have the answer, but I wish you all the luck in the world with it.
    {hugs}
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,420 Member
    I have no family, so I know how hard that is.

    You have a cute picture of a dog in your photo. If you like animals, may I suggest calling an animal shelter and volunteering your time?

    I find that helping others is very therapeutic: it gets you out of your head, and keeps you busy. If you are feeling fragile, animals in need may be very helpful to you. I've volunteered on and off for many years at an animal shelter, and it is such a rewarding thing.

    It's also helpful during the holidays to volunteer with a charitable organizaton of any type. You will find you have much to offer, and extra hands are always needed.
  • ashleymcquown
    ashleymcquown Posts: 80
    I have no family, so I know how hard that is.

    You have a cute picture of a dog in your photo. If you like animals, may I suggest calling an animal shelter and volunteering your time?

    I find that helping others is very therapeutic: it gets you out of your head, and keeps you busy. If you are feeling fragile, animals in need may be very helpful to you. I've volunteered on and off for many years at an animal shelter, and it is such a rewarding thing.

    It's also helpful during the holidays to volunteer with a charitable organizaton of any type. You will find you have much to offer, and extra hands are always needed.

    This is a great idea. I've been meaning to look into volunteer work for a while. Thanks for the suggestion : )
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