lololol Online Dating

jen2607
jen2607 Posts: 148 Member
edited October 2024 in Chit-Chat
Ok, Seriously though... today I was off work and really bored. I got to thinking about what it is like to live in a college town, but to be older than the average crazy 19 and 20 year olds. I can be shy at first, and I haven't been on a date in quite a while. So I thought to myself, is there really a stigma on online dating anymore? What kinds of people in my area participate? My curiosity got the best of me , and I did a search on a couple of free sites of people my age. During that time, I found a few people I actually knew. I don't think I could legitimately post a picture or any information because even though it is approaching 2012, I would feel embarrassed if one of those people saw me . I don't know. What are your thoughts on this? Feel free to ridicule, laugh, or criticize.
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Replies

  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    I have one I occasionally put up, for a nearby city (im in a really small town) and I've met girls either side of here online.

    It's entertaining to say the least, tons of ppl will message you if you have pics...guys...girls, couples, married couples. You name it.

    I met a good friend on there, a wild sex-machine, and my last date showed up dressed as a snake (i made a thread about 3 months ago of it).

    For the most part I only meet up with fit people.

    Obviously.


    Good times.
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
    why would you be embarrassed if they saw you? ...they're on the site too!

    I think there are many different ways to meet people, why not use the internet? we use it for everything else! One of my friends is trying it right now she is not much of a fan because she finds chatting online impersonal but it works for a lot of people.
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    Oh, I've also met some other cool people. One girl works at a laser treatment studio which was kinda neat, one girl played Bandy for Team Canada (its like hockey). Umm..I can't think of any more, I've only been on and off for a year, but I get so many people, I lose track.

    I always reply to everyone, but only text, facebook etc the more interesting and attractive ones.

    I do get a kick outta talking to new people though. You never know what they're gonna say next.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I met my husband online 12 years ago, when there still WAS a stigma! Heard from a lot of freaks and weirdos, too, and made a website about them. Lots of fun. :smile:

    As far as people seeing you... so what? There's nothing wrong with being proactive about meeting someone. What's better, to meet someone in a dimly lit bar when you've had a few drinks, or to pre-screen them in the comfort of your own home? For the most part, it's really easy to spot the freaks and weirdos anyway, and even easier to delete their messages.
  • xtinalovexo
    xtinalovexo Posts: 1,376 Member
    i dont mind... i would, but i think people on there are TOO eager to meet. once i made a profile on plenty of fish and men wanted to meet after 1 email... um no. this is why im online. to get to KNOW people... based on brain attraction not physical. im weird though.
  • xtinalovexo
    xtinalovexo Posts: 1,376 Member
    @ kiwi burger.... friday friday gotta get down on friday....
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    I met my husband online and on WoW. Enough said.
  • leynak
    leynak Posts: 963 Member
    I met my husband online 12 years ago, when there still WAS a stigma! Heard from a lot of freaks and weirdos, too, and made a website about them. Lots of fun. :smile:

    As far as people seeing you... so what? There's nothing wrong with being proactive about meeting someone. What's better, to meet someone in a dimly lit bar when you've had a few drinks, or to pre-screen them in the comfort of your own home? For the most part, it's really easy to spot the freaks and weirdos anyway, and even easier to delete their messages.

    There was a thread a while back about blogs & Facebook pages that you posted in. I decided to check yours out & found the website with all the letters from the different guys. Oh my....very funny :laugh:



    *Oh yeah to the OP I say go for it if you want to. No reason to be embarrassed. My dad met his girlfriend online 6 or 7 years ago & they're still together & happy. :smile:
  • usmcfemale
    usmcfemale Posts: 17 Member
    i met my husband on fitness.com a site for people into fitness. we used to say we met at tim horton's but now the stigma's pretty much nill. more people are meeting this way.
  • elsham
    elsham Posts: 549 Member
    why would you be embarrassed if they saw you? ...they're on the site too!

    I think there are many different ways to meet people, why not use the internet? we use it for everything else! One of my friends is trying it right now she is not much of a fan because she finds chatting online impersonal but it works for a lot of people.

    EXACTLY. My friend convinced me to make one a while back and I met some cool people on there. If I had passed them on the street, nothing would ever come of it, so my thing is that these sites give you a different type of chance to meet people. I can't really explain it, but it's really cool.

    Edit to add: My cousin, who lives in Germany, met her now husband, who lives in Seattle, online. Now they're married and both living in Seattle. Expect the unexpected, I say!
  • samatalma
    samatalma Posts: 197
    Met my fiancee online...on Twitter to be exact!!
  • elsham
    elsham Posts: 549 Member
    I do get a kick outta talking to new people though. You never know what they're gonna say next.

    Haha, couldn't have said it better myself.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    Really not all that different from meeting people in other places. I've met people that I later dated at school, at bars, at concerts, in the electronics department at Target, through friends, etc. I personally have not had particular success with online dating, but I can honestly say that I have not put any effort into it for a long time. I don't think there should be any shame or stigma in it.
  • PepeGreggerton
    PepeGreggerton Posts: 986 Member
    There's isn't the stigma there used to be. I've done it over the last year that I've been single. Since I never really dated before I found it easier than randomly approaching people in a bar or something. Have met some nice people, but no one spectacular.
  • calliope_music
    calliope_music Posts: 1,242 Member
    i met my hubby on match!
  • jhardenbergh
    jhardenbergh Posts: 1,035 Member
    I met my wife on yahoo personals back in March 2005, we have been happily married for a little over 4 years.
  • photo_kyla
    photo_kyla Posts: 322 Member
    I joined OkCupid years ago because a friend recommended their quizzes. I ended up meeting my last 2 boyfriends on there (I'm still with the 2nd) and a bunch of other people, so in real life and some just on screen. I also used it to meet new friends when I was in a new city with no one I knew.

    My friend did the same thing when she moved overseas. While she didn't end up dating any of the guys, she ended up with some good friends.

    On the awkward side, I had a person on there recommended to me who is well known in my community... who is married and looking for fun :noway: I had worked on a play with both him AND his wife...
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    I know the feeling but really is putting yourself out there for what you want be it friends/casual dating/looking for a serious long term relationship any worse online then going to a bar or other methods.

    Remember,they are on there too.
  • TrainingWithTonya
    TrainingWithTonya Posts: 1,741 Member
    A week after I kicked my ex out, my best friend came over with a bottle of wine and told me she was getting me "back out there" after my disaster of a marriage because there really were some nice guys left. After splitting the bottle of wine with her, I was sufficiently numb enough to post a profile on the site she had picked out. I put up a whole list of requirements for any potential dates. He had to be over 6 feet tall because I was tired of not being able to wear my heels when I went out without looking taller then my date. He had to be younger then me, because my Mom told me I needed one young enough to train. He couldn't have been married before because if he was divorced then there was obviously something wrong with him or his first wife would have kept him. He had to love my kids as if they were his own because I wasn't having any more. He had to love the color blue because its my favorite color and I didn't want to hear anything about a smurf house in reference to my decorating. He had to love professional wrestling because that is what I did for a living and any references to it being fake would land him in the hospital when I showed him how fake it was. Yeah, I put all that on there and more! I got a lot of emails from weirdos who called me crazy and worse. And a couple of emails from crazy stalker fans. But I also got a simple note that said, "I think I meet all of your stipulations. Can we chat?" I told my best friend that he was either a masochist or perfect for me. That email came in on December 9, 1999. We met in person on February 13, 2000. We got married on June 16, 2001. We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this year and I have no doubt we'll be together forever. I was right in my assessment of him from that first message. He's both a masochist and perfect for me! LOL
  • Samerah12
    Samerah12 Posts: 610 Member
    I know the feeling but really is putting yourself out there for what you want be it friends/casual dating/looking for a serious long term relationship any worse online then going to a bar or other methods.

    Remember,they are on there too.

    ^totally agree. I signed up for match about a month ago and it has been reaaaaally fun! I'm in the same situation, I'm in a small college town, I'm older than the vast majority of the college kids and I just moved here. Throw in the fact that I have vastly different values (religion, politics, the whole shebang) than most of the people where I live it was going to be reaaaaally difficult to meet people the old fashioned way. I've also met people I never would have believed would be interested in me and it turns out they were thinking the same about me! So in that respect its all been a pretty big ego boost. Nothing serious has come of it yet but I'm pretty excited about a guy I'm meeting tomorrow night...

    There really isn't that much stigma anymore, and really, who really cares if there was??
  • Teliooo
    Teliooo Posts: 725 Member
    Met my partner on one and we have been together of 6 years and have a child. There was major stigma when I joined one and I lied to my friends for ages. My friend who was a bit funny at first is now engaged to someone she met online. At least least 3 or 4 of my other friends met their partner online. I would just put the profile up, there is no biggie. It is sometimes really hard to meet nice people.
  • jen2607
    jen2607 Posts: 148 Member
    I think the embarrassment would come into play because they are people I know... like best friends with my roommate and other random connections... but not close with me. So I feel like they would talk about me to the mutual people. IDK. It's dumb. I guess I should just put myself out there.
  • snailrunner
    snailrunner Posts: 215 Member
    I met my partner online just over a year ago. We tell people how we met if they ask us...we always look totally loved up when we are together so people can usually tell that we haven't spent 20 years together already, lol (we are in our 40s). But you know what, I have met the person who truly is my 'other half' even though I had always hated that expression! We will spend the rest of our lives together for sure.

    Before I met him though, I chatted to dozens of guys and met up with about 7 or 8...all nice people, just not right for me. It was an interesting time, although some guys have a habit of disappearing abruptly instead of just saying 'I'm not interested'.

    Give it a try, and don't be embarrassed...someone who's already on a dating site is in no position to crticise those who join!
  • jen2607
    jen2607 Posts: 148 Member
    I met my husband online and on WoW. Enough said.

    That game is addictive, but begrudgingly I admit it's fun. I had an ex cheat on me with someone he met on there. Took me 3 years to find out , but it is what it is. Anyways.. that just reminded me of this :

    http://youtu.be/9PM5dt3KRzc


    But seriously, congrats to everyone for putting themselves out there and finding happiness :)
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
    My mom found her current husband online.

    My dad dates super hot chicks on a regular basis online and meets them in Russia. Totally doesn't do it for the sex... just doesn't want to marry someone from the US for whatever reason. Whatever floats his boat.

    So yeah... online dating is totally normal. I'm not one to have ever done it but I have met a couple platonic friends that way. They end up being pretty weird but still nothing harmful.
  • AussieNikki
    AussieNikki Posts: 168 Member
    I met my husband online, not a dating site or anything but I know plenty of happy couples who did meet on dating sites.

    It's becoming more and more common these days.
  • andy2486
    andy2486 Posts: 93 Member
    I think the embarrassment would come into play because they are people I know... like best friends with my roommate and other random connections... but not close with me. So I feel like they would talk about me to the mutual people. IDK. It's dumb. I guess I should just put myself out there.

    I met my husband on plenty of fish 3 yrs ago, my best friend met her boyfriend on POF 3 yrs ago and my sis-in-law met her boyfriend on POF 1.5 yrs ago. Obviously, I see nothing wrong with online dating and I am a true believer in it. I signed up 4 months after my ex had broken up with me because I was going to school online and working temp jobs so I was never meeting people and I had wanted to try to meet friends. I ended up dating a couple guys here and there, finally met my husband when he came back from Iraq (we started emailing while he was there) and have been with him ever since. Don't fear the embarassment from people who you don't sincerely know. Who are they to judge you anyway, right? You can try it out and cancel it whenever you want, so try it and see what comes about. Like the other poster said, you have the ability to "pre-screen" people from the comfort of your own home. If you don't think you will like said person, there are "plenty of fish" out there. :) It's much easier than going out to a bar or a party and hoping that someone might talk to you and it might turn into a date and they might turn out to not be a crazy person.
  • kcb315
    kcb315 Posts: 160 Member
    i met my boyfriend on facebook :) weve been dating for two years now :)
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    I met the man of my dreams on plenty of fish. I was a student (older than the average) and I was working as a babysitter, so I had no opportunity to meet someone appropriate. So I went online...I use to get ridiculed, but not anymore. It's been 4 years, people get over it. Just remember to date a few, because there are some turds out there.
  • caveats
    caveats Posts: 493 Member
    A week after I kicked my ex out, my best friend came over with a bottle of wine and told me she was getting me "back out there" after my disaster of a marriage because there really were some nice guys left. After splitting the bottle of wine with her, I was sufficiently numb enough to post a profile on the site she had picked out. I put up a whole list of requirements for any potential dates. He had to be over 6 feet tall because I was tired of not being able to wear my heels when I went out without looking taller then my date. He had to be younger then me, because my Mom told me I needed one young enough to train. He couldn't have been married before because if he was divorced then there was obviously something wrong with him or his first wife would have kept him. He had to love my kids as if they were his own because I wasn't having any more. He had to love the color blue because its my favorite color and I didn't want to hear anything about a smurf house in reference to my decorating. He had to love professional wrestling because that is what I did for a living and any references to it being fake would land him in the hospital when I showed him how fake it was. Yeah, I put all that on there and more! I got a lot of emails from weirdos who called me crazy and worse. And a couple of emails from crazy stalker fans. But I also got a simple note that said, "I think I meet all of your stipulations. Can we chat?" I told my best friend that he was either a masochist or perfect for me. That email came in on December 9, 1999. We met in person on February 13, 2000. We got married on June 16, 2001. We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this year and I have no doubt we'll be together forever. I was right in my assessment of him from that first message. He's both a masochist and perfect for me! LOL

    Damn, girl, you really knew what you wanted. Props to you for getting it. :drinker:

    To the OP, I think the stigma of online dating is virtually nonexistent these days. Just be careful and always set up first meetings in highly public, very well trafficked places. You still can't be too careful.

    My bf's sister is getting married next Labor Day to a man she met on eHarmony. I met my bf on Match, and we're pretty darn happy and committed still, 3 years later. As a divorcee, I'm happy with the slower pace of things these days. I met my first husband "conventionally", through work, and we got engaged within a couple of months and married in less than a year. It crashed and burned miserably. (I've had a few long-term, committed relationships, and my marriage was by far the worst of them. Go figure.)

    I think sometimes, with online dating, you get a chance to weed out deal-breakers (like if one of you wants kids, and the other is "no way in hell") before the physical attraction kicks in and blinds you to them. This was certainly the case with my ex-husband and me. :embarassed: :sick:
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