Not sure I want to be an 'inspiration'
JoolieW68
Posts: 1,879 Member
So I've lost 87 pounds over the last 15 months and feel pretty darn good about myself. I get a lot of compliments at work and have had several people tell me that I'm an inspiration to them.
Problem is, I'm not sure I want to be their inspiration.... I mean, I appreciate what they mean (and always smile and say thanks), but that makes me feel almost responsible for their success for failure.
Does anyone else who's lost weight feel that way?
Problem is, I'm not sure I want to be their inspiration.... I mean, I appreciate what they mean (and always smile and say thanks), but that makes me feel almost responsible for their success for failure.
Does anyone else who's lost weight feel that way?
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Replies
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Honestly speaking.. nahhh not really...
Ultimately this whole lose weight-concept is supposed to be the person who is obese taking responsibility into their hands and doing what is right for theirself/selves to make theirself/selves better.
Sure, its nice to hear someone was motivated by your own successes, but in the end, its still up to that person to keep that mojo going for theirself.
Its kinda like that whole "why wont my family get healthier along with me?" - You can only motivate yourself... people have to be willing to motivate theirselves when they are willing to assume that mental frame of mind, and then put it into action.
If they fail.. its not because it had anything to do with me (or you) - its because they didnt take control of things they do have control over, made irresponsible choices for theirselves that they fail to acknowledge or admit to, for theirself/selves.
I work with someone right now who REALLY noticed my weight loss and asked what I was doing... when I explained to her that Im under doctor's care for what Im doing... she automatically thought it would work for her also... I had to stop her in her tracks and tell her "again - a ***doctor*** is working with me on this. That means her medical advice is tailored to my current medical situation. It might not be good for you to follow suit because you are not me, you arent affected with what Im battling (thank goodness for her!!!), and told her consider talking with her physician or specialist.... unless she is in the same boat as I am, she could potentially fail and then have resentment that it didnt work, go back to that vicious cycle of "I give up" and make her future weight loss efforts harder....
Then the line is drawn and at that point, its 100% up to her.... I wont have anything to do with her because its up to her...0 -
Yea, it's funny.... when people ask me "What have you been doing to lose the weight", it's like they are expecting me to say "I took a magic pill and sit my @ss on the couch all night eating potato chips".
When I tell them I am doing to "Move your @ss and quit eating crap" diet, they look at me like I've grown 2 more heads. The reaction is usually "Really?".....which is pretty sad, actually.
Yes, a healthy lifestyle actually does lead to HEALTH. GTFOOH....0 -
I know what you mean. It's being put into a role we never asked for. I lost weight for me. Not for anyone else. I mean if they see what I've accomplished and decide to start making healthier choices for themselves that's fantastic. But I'm no role model, I'm no idol. I'm a dude who's been fat for 99% of his life. I don't want the responsibility of other people putting their weight loss success/failure on me.0
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Spot on, i feel the same way.0
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That's not what "inspiration" means.I don't want the responsibility of other people putting their weight loss success/failure on me.0 -
Well, regardless of whether you want to be an inspiration or not. You are.
It's your own fault for looking fabulous : )0 -
I agree - it's a complement.
I think that every person out there (OK maybe 80%) have something that they would like to change about themselves. Most people don't step up and do the hard work, consistently, to make the change a reality. They don't confront the brutal facts about themselves to put them on the path to success.
That is the inspiration!0 -
Well, regardless of whether you want to be an inspiration or not. You are.
It's your own fault for looking fabulous : )
Haha, thanks.
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It's nice that what I'm doing for myself can inspire someone to want to do it for themselves. They're inspired, not expecting you to train them/make them do the work. If an artist gets inspired by nature, it doesn't suddenly become nature's job to paint that picture, you know? You're not responsible for anyone else's actions, positive or negative. You're a catalyst for change in their minds..it doesn't require any added work or pressure on your part. People tell me I'm inspirational to them sometimes. I, like you, say thanks. Nothing more needed.0
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It's nice that what I'm doing for myself can inspire someone to want to do it for themselves. They're inspired, not expecting you to train them/make them do the work. If an artist gets inspired by nature, it doesn't suddenly become nature's job to paint that picture, you know? You're not responsible for anyone else's actions, positive or negative. You're a catalyst for change in their minds..it doesn't require any added work or pressure on your part. People tell me I'm inspirational to them sometimes. I, like you, say thanks. Nothing more needed.
That's a good explanation, thanks for sharing.0 -
totally agree with this....you are exactly right......keep doing what you do and if they follow great....It's nice that what I'm doing for myself can inspire someone to want to do it for themselves. They're inspired, not expecting you to train them/make them do the work. If an artist gets inspired by nature, it doesn't suddenly become nature's job to paint that picture, you know? You're not responsible for anyone else's actions, positive or negative. You're a catalyst for change in their minds..it doesn't require any added work or pressure on your part. People tell me I'm inspirational to them sometimes. I, like you, say thanks. Nothing more needed.0
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I agree... what bout the one day you WANT to go over your calories, or NOT exercise or NOT burn over 1000 calories?! Or run 13km each time or workout twice a day... I was doing this as a boost and a stress buster... part of a spike up to resuming a normal healthy lifestyle... but then you end up with this mad way of life where you feel like you'll let others down if you don't accomplish it and you find weird and wonderful ways of making it happen. Recently have been trying to stop that...but find it hard! I just want people to see me as a normal gal who does do exercise and makes it count! Not as some machine!
GIVE ME A BREAK-COS I'M THE SORT OF PERSON WHO FEELS OBLIGED TO "KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!"0 -
It's nice that what I'm doing for myself can inspire someone to want to do it for themselves. They're inspired, not expecting you to train them/make them do the work. If an artist gets inspired by nature, it doesn't suddenly become nature's job to paint that picture, you know? You're not responsible for anyone else's actions, positive or negative. You're a catalyst for change in their minds..it doesn't require any added work or pressure on your part. People tell me I'm inspirational to them sometimes. I, like you, say thanks. Nothing more needed.
^ this
I've known some people whose success have inspired me to make some changes in my life for the better, but I do not hold them responsible for my actions and outcome.0 -
It's nice that what I'm doing for myself can inspire someone to want to do it for themselves. They're inspired, not expecting you to train them/make them do the work. If an artist gets inspired by nature, it doesn't suddenly become nature's job to paint that picture, you know? You're not responsible for anyone else's actions, positive or negative. You're a catalyst for change in their minds..it doesn't require any added work or pressure on your part. People tell me I'm inspirational to them sometimes. I, like you, say thanks. Nothing more needed.
That's a good explanation, thanks for sharing.
I like this!! You aren't responsible for their success or failure, but you are the catalyst and the influence for something amazing going on in their lives. I like that other people are watching me. It keeps me accountable! 0 -
I am honored when people tell me I inspire them...what I don't like is all the talk about how skinny I am and how I need to stop.0
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Yea, it's funny.... when people ask me "What have you been doing to lose the weight", it's like they are expecting me to say "I took a magic pill and sit my @ss on the couch all night eating potato chips".
:laugh: this is so true, they look so disappointed when you reply 'um, eat less rubbbish and do lots more exercise...' :laugh:
No one has said I 'inspire' them, but loads of people have asked me for tips/ advice and if they seem disappointed by the truth, you know they ain't going to be losing weight any time soon, or not keeping it off anyway...0 -
Yep...everyone wants to hear about a magical easy way, I was once there too. But I learned and am succeeding!!
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If your friends are even the slightest bit intelligent (and I bet they are), they understand that you're human. Taking a break is important. People need breaks. When they say "keep up the good work" they don't mean "burn 1000 calories everyday or else you're a failure and you're letting me down". They mean you're doing a great job overall. Not everyday has to be the best day ever. Don't worry that people are judging you for not running everyday. They're not. They're proud of your success and completely understand the need for a rest or a cheat every now and then.I agree... what bout the one day you WANT to go over your calories, or NOT exercise or NOT burn over 1000 calories?! Or run 13km each time or workout twice a day... I was doing this as a boost and a stress buster... part of a spike up to resuming a normal healthy lifestyle... but then you end up with this mad way of life where you feel like you'll let others down if you don't accomplish it and you find weird and wonderful ways of making it happen. Recently have been trying to stop that...but find it hard! I just want people to see me as a normal gal who does do exercise and makes it count! Not as some machine!
GIVE ME A BREAK-COS I'M THE SORT OF PERSON WHO FEELS OBLIGED TO "KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!"0 -
I think it's just part of the "stop treating me differently" thing that you feel once you've experienced significant weight loss.
"I inspire you?"
"Really?"
"Well you inspire me too" "to move out of state"
Sometimes you just want to be treated normal.
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They're just 'haters'.0
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Yeah, I need to reply to my own reply!
I didn't mean the people who say you inspire them are haters, lol! I mean to those that tell you you're too skinny; they're usually just insecure.0 -
oh yes...but for another reason.....when you lose all that weight but then gain some of it back...then you feel like a complete failure....i've had this happen.... its why i dont want to really be an inspiration0
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Great topic. I have been experiencing the same thing recently. For me, the weight was a way to "hide" from the world areound me. Nobody notices a "Fat girl" other than to make fun of her....Anyway, our minds do weird things. I lost a lot of weight before and was about 60 pounds away from goalj. Everyone was oohing and ahhing, etc over my success. I went from 407# down to 230. I freaked out internally and gained back about 70 pounds. In September, I decided enough was enough, I looked inside my thinking, etc and dealt with the issues causing me to gain weight. I have now lost 35 pounds again and people are noticing. They tell me what an inspiration I am, etc. This time, though, since I dealt with the issues, I am prepared for them. It feels good to be noticed and told I look good. I am in control of my eating, exercising, and thoughts. I have those around me that start, but for one reason or another go the other way and gain. I am not responsible for them. I am responsible for me only. It took me a long time to realize this, but I did. 0
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Since I started my journey I've had a few people tell me i inspire them to make changes.
While I hear you, I do feel a pang of "Oh goodness, what if I fail?" but then I realise I can use that 'pang' to never quit - keep going, keep inspiring. Them say I inspire them, inspires me to train harder.0 -
Since I started my journey I've had a few people tell me i inspire them to make changes.
While I hear you, I do feel a pang of "Oh goodness, what if I fail?" but then I realise I can use that 'pang' to never quit - keep going, keep inspiring. Them say I inspire them, inspires me to train harder.
If I see a gain on the scale, its because that damn cheesecake was UBER GOOD! 8-)0 -
If your friends are even the slightest bit intelligent (and I bet they are), they understand that you're human. Taking a break is important. People need breaks. When they say "keep up the good work" they don't mean "burn 1000 calories everyday or else you're a failure and you're letting me down". They mean you're doing a great job overall. Not everyday has to be the best day ever. Don't worry that people are judging you for not running everyday. They're not. They're proud of your success and completely understand the need for a rest or a cheat every now and then.I agree... what bout the one day you WANT to go over your calories, or NOT exercise or NOT burn over 1000 calories?! Or run 13km each time or workout twice a day... I was doing this as a boost and a stress buster... part of a spike up to resuming a normal healthy lifestyle... but then you end up with this mad way of life where you feel like you'll let others down if you don't accomplish it and you find weird and wonderful ways of making it happen. Recently have been trying to stop that...but find it hard! I just want people to see me as a normal gal who does do exercise and makes it count! Not as some machine!
GIVE ME A BREAK-COS I'M THE SORT OF PERSON WHO FEELS OBLIGED TO "KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!"
I know really but thanks for writing it anyway in case anyone else was thinking it.... I mean today... I just did 2 long dog walks and ate pretty much one side of the gingerbread house roof! Pigged! Hahaha!0 -
I know this thread is a couple of months old, but I was trying to see if anyone else felt like me. I lost 144lbs (gained 12lb back in the past 2 weeks). Every single day I hear you're an inspiration to me. Can you come talk to this group of people? How did you do it (I too get a sad, disappointed response when I say eat less, exercise more)? It's too much pressure! I still have 100lbs to lose. I'm getting to a point where I'm smaller than I've been since high school. I'm already having to deal with my own issues of what it means to be moving into territory I've either never been in or haven't been in 20yrs. I can feel myself caving under the pressure (hence the 12lb gain). If I'm not losing weight, then I don't have everyone looking at me and putting me up as the poster child for weightloss. I've got to get my head on straight to finish this, but at this moment I don't know how.0
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Let go of the "pressure", try to politely say thank you and change the topic. Are you losing weight for yourself or for those around you? This is for you and only. Why would you give up on yourself? Your thoughts are your own, no one can make you the "poster child", so don't let them live in your head rent free. Shake off the comments and continue living a healthier lifestyle!!0
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I have actually inspired a handful of friends to start their own weight loss journeys. I do feel like I can't fail now, because if I was the original inspiration and I fail, are they going to give up too? So, by being an inspiration, I get inspired to keep going because I hate letting people down. Does that make sense? :laugh:0
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So I've lost 87 pounds over the last 15 months and feel pretty darn good about myself. I get a lot of compliments at work and have had several people tell me that I'm an inspiration to them.
Problem is, I'm not sure I want to be their inspiration.... I mean, I appreciate what they mean (and always smile and say thanks), but that makes me feel almost responsible for their success for failure.
Does anyone else who's lost weight feel that way?
You don't have to do anything different to be an inspiration, you just have to keep doing what you are doing. There is no reason to feel pressure over that. Rock it out and if you inspire someone great.
What annoys me is when I have people who I don't see busting it at the gym trying to tell me how to work out or supplement. I take the supplements I've researched for myself and I feel gives me the edge I need. I also have created my own workout program from several other programs, I don't need to know about the work out you've read in a fitness magazine. That comes off snotty but at my work place people are always trying to tell me how I should be doing things.. I've never came out and said it, but I'm in better shape then most of them!0
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