I bet your kid is a narcissist too!

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245

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  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    when my son was a bit older, I found his two older sisters trying to cut off his willy, I had to take him to hospital, they apparently thought everyone is born with a willy and if you want to be a girl, you just cut it off. Luckily they only had plastic scissors.....

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I just told my husband this and it made him cringe like none other. That is horrific but down right HILARIOUS at the same time. I guess we cannot leave the kids alone for very long. Ugh lol! Hope he's ok.

    He is 19 and lives with his girlfriend, I don't think there is an issue....lol
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    every night i play the same song for my daughter. She tries to sing along and same line cracks me up every time. it should be "godspeed, sweet dreams".....she sings "god peed, sweet dreams"
  • annameier8706
    annameier8706 Posts: 572 Member
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    I asked my kids last night if they had asked Santa for anything. They told me what they wanted (fortunately got it for them). I asked when they asked Santa. They are 9 and 12, I did not take them to see Santa, and they did not write letters. My 12 yr old dtr states "We prayed to Jesus to ask Santa for us." Okay, that works.

    This is amazing! This is the view I want my girls to have on christams and santa!
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
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    Justsummie wins... I just spit my water out all over the floor of my office lol
  • shanjen27
    shanjen27 Posts: 19 Member
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    Both my kids have said some funny things over the years. But there is one moment that stands out & still makes me crack a smile: My 4 yr. old son: "Mommy, I just had the BEST dream EVER!" Me: "Oh yeah buddy, what was it?" Son: I had a dream that I had 2 penises and they were so big they touched the floor!!" OMG...I then replied: "I think that's every man's dream buddy"
  • AmberLiscous
    AmberLiscous Posts: 644 Member
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    One day my four year old farted and he asked me if his butt burped :laugh:

    Same son started calling his private parts.....his ooo laa laas ......he went up to a lady at our church and told her that he was going to punch her in her ooo laa laaas ......lmao luckily she thought it was hysterical!!!!!

    I have three other kids but at the moment these are the only ones that I can think of!
  • FitFi74
    FitFi74 Posts: 129 Member
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    My daughter was just telling me her version of the Nativity which included 'The Goose of quiet' she meant 'The Dove of Peace!' x
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    Both my kids have said some funny things over the years. But there is one moment that stands out & still makes me crack a smile: My 4 yr. old son: "Mommy, I just had the BEST dream EVER!" Me: "Oh yeah buddy, what was it?" Son: I had a dream that I had 2 penises and they were so big they touched the floor!!" OMG...I then replied: "I think that's every man's dream buddy"



    I think we have a winner!
  • PepeGreggerton
    PepeGreggerton Posts: 986 Member
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    One day my four year old farted and he asked me if his butt burped :laugh:

    Same son started calling his private parts.....his ooo laa laas ......he went up to a lady at our church and told her that he was going to punch her in her ooo laa laaas ......lmao luckily she thought it was hysterical!!!!!

    I have three other kids but at the moment these are the only ones that I can think of!

    from now forward I will now call my junk my ooo laa laas
  • EricNCSU
    EricNCSU Posts: 699 Member
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    At the aquarium she was watching the shark tank with my husband and there was a diver cleaning the coral. She said "Daddy are the sharks going to eat him?" he replied "No of course not." to which she said "Ahhhhh why not?"

    OMG I just laughed so hard...... *tears*....

    I have this mental image of a cute little girl kicking the ground like "Awwwww maaaaaannnn....."

    Oh and the GOOSEDRYER one had me in stiches..... cause he's so serious... grabs her face and like "LOOK WOMAN...."
  • AmberLiscous
    AmberLiscous Posts: 644 Member
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    I was breast feeding my new baby son when my daughter, who was four, asked what I was doing, I said feeding your brother, she said what are you feeding him? I said there is milk in my boobie, and she watched for a bit and then said...is there blackcurrant juice in the other one?

    This reminded me of another one......I was breastfeeding my third child and my daughter who was five at the time asked me what I was doing....I had no clue how to explain it so as I was trying she finally says.....I think its like a calf drinking from its mom.......duh.....how come I couldn't think of this!!!!
  • EricNCSU
    EricNCSU Posts: 699 Member
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    *double post*
  • shawnscott5
    shawnscott5 Posts: 295 Member
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    Recently at kindergarden my twins teacher does a gingerbread man hunt. The giant gingerbread hides in different places, and the kids get to go look for him for about 3 days. My one Jericho is terrified of the gingerbread man. So here is their conversation:

    Twin 1: Mommy, the gingerbread man ran so fast I couldn't find him.
    Twin 2: It was hiding in the office.
    Me: That sounds like a lot of fun!
    Twin 1: No, it scared me.
    Twin 2: It's not scary
    Me: Why do you think the gingerbread man is scary?
    Twin 1: Cause he can run fast, and he hides and looks in our window.
    Twin 2: (palms up and arms extended) Yells, IT'S JUST A COOKIE! GET OVER IT!!
  • WifeMomDVM
    WifeMomDVM Posts: 1,025 Member
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    My four year old hands me a piece of paper with scribbles on it.

    "Here Mom, I wrote you a letter."

    "Aw, thanks. What does it say?"

    She shrugs. "I don't know. I don't know how to read yet."
  • tuffytuffy1
    tuffytuffy1 Posts: 920 Member
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    OMG, these are a riot! Kids crack me UP. My 7 year old son was recently talking about our English Bulldog, Hank. He said to our neighbor, "Hank likes everyone but daddy. And daddy only loves beer." :laugh:
  • AmberLiscous
    AmberLiscous Posts: 644 Member
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    One day my four year old farted and he asked me if his butt burped :laugh:

    Same son started calling his private parts.....his ooo laa laas ......he went up to a lady at our church and told her that he was going to punch her in her ooo laa laaas ......lmao luckily she thought it was hysterical!!!!!

    I have three other kids but at the moment these are the only ones that I can think of!

    from now forward I will now call my junk my ooo laa laas

    Lmao.......he still says it but we finally got him to realize that girls don't have those!!!!
  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
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    I spent some time with my son the other morning and on the way to school he says, "Mom, let's forget about school and let's go to Vegas!" I gasped what? He says, "Yeah, it's the city that never sleeps."

    WTH?!?! I've never even been to Vegas son! LOL Where in the he** do you learn these things. LOLOL
  • WifeMomDVM
    WifeMomDVM Posts: 1,025 Member
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    Both my kids have said some funny things over the years. But there is one moment that stands out & still makes me crack a smile: My 4 yr. old son: "Mommy, I just had the BEST dream EVER!" Me: "Oh yeah buddy, what was it?" Son: I had a dream that I had 2 penises and they were so big they touched the floor!!" OMG...I then replied: "I think that's every man's dream buddy"

    BWAH HA HA HA HA HAAAAA HAAAA (gasp for air) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • shawnscott5
    shawnscott5 Posts: 295 Member
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    The twins are learning to read. And had asked daddy for help. The word is FIT

    Jericho: Daddy can you help me?
    Dad: sure
    Jericho: What does this say?
    Dad: Say the letters
    Jericho: F I T
    Dad: Now say the sounds and put it all together.
    Jericho: eff it

    I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants!!
  • westcoastSW
    westcoastSW Posts: 320 Member
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    My four year old hands me a piece of paper with scribbles on it.

    "Here Mom, I wrote you a letter."

    "Aw, thanks. What does it say?"

    She shrugs. "I don't know. I don't know how to read yet."
    Hahaha I love this! :happy:

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