I bet your kid is a narcissist too!

Options
135

Replies

  • AmberLiscous
    AmberLiscous Posts: 644 Member
    Options
    Another one .....my daughter was acting goofy and my husband asked her if she had been sniffing glue and she said no I think its my nail polish :laugh:
  • Wow41543
    Wow41543 Posts: 5
    Options
    My almost 12yr old the other day was trying to explain what townhouses are to her friend. She was tying to say they are in a row like strip malls but she said you know they are like stripper malls.
  • Clarecbear82
    Clarecbear82 Posts: 369 Member
    Options
    Just thought of some more:

    My three year old asked my mother in law if mummy and daddy take their clothes off and kiss like on the Simpson's

    My 6yr old came home when she was 4and told me the story of Easter and how they glued Jesus to a cross and he died. Then when I said "yes but he came back to life" she looked me right in the eye put her hand on my shoulder and said " no mummy when your dead your dead!"
  • SDkitty
    SDkitty Posts: 446 Member
    Options
    BUMP because these are absolutely awesome! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Strobins05
    Strobins05 Posts: 716
    Options
    I asked my kids last night if they had asked Santa for anything. They told me what they wanted (fortunately got it for them). I asked when they asked Santa. They are 9 and 12, I did not take them to see Santa, and they did not write letters. My 12 yr old dtr states "We prayed to Jesus to ask Santa for us." Okay, that works.
    Love it, LOL
  • Strobins05
    Strobins05 Posts: 716
    Options
    Just thought of some more:

    My three year old asked my mother in law if mummy and daddy take their clothes off and kiss like on the Simpson's

    My 6yr old came home when she was 4and told me the story of Easter and how they glued Jesus to a cross and he died. Then when I said "yes but he came back to life" she looked me right in the eye put her hand on my shoulder and said " no mummy when your dead your dead!"
    LMBO!
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    Options
    BUMP so I can return later to read more...because if I continue reading this at work I'm gonna bother my officemate with my giggling...
  • Bochka
    Bochka Posts: 18 Member
    Options
    We have a family of 4 (husband, me, son 6 and daughter 4) and here are some of our conversations:

    My son came up to me and told me:"Mommy HIV and AIDs are very bad, don't get it!"


    we saw pimped out 57 chevy and my husband tells my son:"Isa look at that car!" and I was like eww what an ugly car, and my son responds: " Don't hate Mommy"

    So my daughter Leila (age 4) loves to be called princess and so we were talking and I said I love you my little princess, since i didn't want my son Isa (age 6) to feel left out I called him my little prince he turned around and with serious look on his face said mom we are not in medieval times. I felt a bit embarrassed to be told off by a kid =(

    I just my facial mask on and my daughter (4) came in the room hid behind my husband and said:" Mommy are you a zombie? Please don't eat my stomach and brain."

    So my 4 year old daughter comes to me and says:" Mommy I want a boyfriend!" I was like:" WHAT????", so she calls my husband on his cell phone and tells him:" Daddy I need a boyfriend!", my husband answered:" ok I will pick 1 up at the store on the way home..."

    A chat between me and my son on my bday.
    Isa:" I'm only 6 and you are already 29!!!"
    Me:"I'm only 26"
    Isa:"Well either way you are still a very old lady..."
  • hillm12345
    hillm12345 Posts: 313 Member
    Options
    I teach kindergartners and one day a boy walked in to my classroom with his parents. I introduced myself.. then the boy tugged on my shirt..

    Boy: Look! Ms. Miller, I put white stuff on my wart..
    Me: Oh, that's good maybe it will go away
    Boy: yeah, I have a wart on my finger... my daddy says it's from touching my wiener!

    The parents turned beet red and I did all I could to keep myself from peeing my pants I was laughing so hard.
  • lniffa
    lniffa Posts: 718 Member
    Options
    BUMP!! These are hilarious, gotta read later..lol
  • onesillygirl
    onesillygirl Posts: 16
    Options
    My husband would talk about his face being as soft as a baby's butt after he shaved. My dad and brother-in-law were over one day. My husband came out of the bathroom and told my 2 yr old, Bryce, to feel Daddy's face. Bryce felt it and said, "Soft as a butt's *kitten*." My brother-in-law was in shock and said, "What?" and Bryce repeated it.
  • soccer8s
    soccer8s Posts: 331 Member
    Options
    Just this morning our 3 year old daughter crawled into bed with us. Then she lay her head on the pillow, closed her eyes and said "I'll go to sleep now so you guys can do sex."

    Speechless.

    I'm gonna pee my pants!!! This is freaking hilarious!!!!
  • Shanna_Inc86
    Shanna_Inc86 Posts: 781 Member
    Options
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    All of these are making me giggle so much!

    My "nephew" was asking my daughter why her mommy and daddy didn't live together one day, the response I caught:

    "Well, my mommy and daddy didn't get along so they broke up. But daddy is with [g/f's name] now and I live with Mommy. Mommy use to have a boyfriend, but he wasn't very nice so she dumped his *kitten*....now we're single ladies"

    I was laughing too hard to even get after her about saying the word *kitten* :laugh:

    My mom is heavy set and our cat is a fat cat with this pin head! My mom says to my daughter, "look at ollie's big butt!"
    My daughter looks, giggles and says, "You look like Ollie Mimi except, you're head's a LOT bigger!"
    Once again...we were laughing too hard to get after her!
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
    Options
    Bahaha Shanna tha t is hilarious.

    Loo's mom and dad aren't together and she got tired of telling people about why she lived with her aunty and not her mommy so one day she turned to a kid and said "because my family is so big and so special and my aunty was lonely so God told my daddy to go live with my aunty so she wasn't lonely anymore. Its pretty awesome though, not many people get to live with their aunties, and i do because my aunty is awesome."
  • heresmyinsidevoice
    heresmyinsidevoice Posts: 311 Member
    Options
    Just this morning our 3 year old daughter crawled into bed with us. Then she lay her head on the pillow, closed her eyes and said "I'll go to sleep now so you guys can do sex."

    Speechless.

    Oh fudge! LMAO!! I almost spit my water out - for real! It's crazy what kids will pick up - makes a parent wonder what exactly their kid knows about that sort of thing. My son is 5, but he hasn't mentioned anything about that sort of thing yet. I hope he doesn't know anything about it until he's 40.
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
    Options
    Just this morning our 3 year old daughter crawled into bed with us. Then she lay her head on the pillow, closed her eyes and said "I'll go to sleep now so you guys can do sex."

    Speechless.

    Oh fudge! LMAO!! I almost spit my water out - for real! It's crazy what kids will pick up - makes a parent wonder what exactly their kid knows about that sort of thing. My son is 5, but he hasn't mentioned anything about that sort of thing yet. I hope he doesn't know anything about it until he's 40.

    There was no almost in this corner, I did spit my water out all over my floor and one of the guys that works in the shops boots lol My niece is 6 (almost 7) and one day she goes "Aunty, what is sex.. is it like just kissing or what cuz I don't get it?" I said "uh, you need to talk to your dad about that k?" lol
  • heresmyinsidevoice
    heresmyinsidevoice Posts: 311 Member
    Options
    BAHAHA! All the breastfeeding ones made me remember another hilarious thing my little man said. When he was almost 2 1/2, I was finding breastfeeding to be really tedious with him, so I decided that a few days before Christmas, I would put him to bed without "milks" as he called it, since that's the only time he was being fed by then anyway.
    I put him to bed and I explained to him that there was no more milk and that he drank it all.
    Levi: I drank all milks gone?
    Me: Yep. Milks are all gone.
    Levi: Milks broken?
    Me: Yeah, the milks are broken now. There's none left.
    Levi: Call firetruck. Firetruck come now and fireman fix milks?
    Me: No bud, it doesn't work that way.
    Levi: Okay. I sleep now.

    He went to sleep and never asked from then on - but oh man, the mind pictures were making me snicker while I was trying to be serious with him. I couldn't help but think about some hunky firefighter coming to the door saying, "Hello there Ma'am, don't worry, I will help you fix your milks!" :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    Options
    My four year old hands me a piece of paper with scribbles on it.

    "Here Mom, I wrote you a letter."

    "Aw, thanks. What does it say?"

    She shrugs. "I don't know. I don't know how to read yet."

    Seriously LOL at this one
  • BarbWhite09
    BarbWhite09 Posts: 1,128 Member
    Options
    when my son was a bit older, I found his two older sisters trying to cut off his willy, I had to take him to hospital, they apparently thought everyone is born with a willy and if you want to be a girl, you just cut it off. Luckily they only had plastic scissors.....

    OMG! Im dying right now. That's awful/funny
  • Loverj79
    Loverj79 Posts: 65 Member
    Options
    My daughter has been battling an ear infection that meds are just not touching!
    This morning my Mom says to her: "You don't feel very good do you lil girl?"
    Daughter: "No...but I still look good!"
    Me: LOL trying to NOT spit my coffee out :laugh:

    I love the things kids say....PLEASE entertain me with the funny things you've heard your kids, nieces or nephews say
    '

    my daughter is going through the same thing. everytime she gets a cold she gets a ear infection. this time shes had it for about 3 weeks now. and on the 4 or 5 of jan shes going to have to have tubes put in her ears for the second time.

Categories