Sometimes I can deal with it. Today is not one of those days

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galegetsthin
galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
in Motivation and Support
With my job, I get asked rather frequently about the status of my "pregnancy". It is important that I point out that I am not pregnant. Havent been in almost 7 years. I have lost a lot of weight. I am still heavy, 193 lbs.

But I just had a patient ask me how I was doing. I told him I was ready for the weekend. He said "you look like you might be ready for some maternity leave too."

Some days I can deal with it and kinda laugh it off when someone says stuff like that. Today is not one of those days. I told him that I was just fat and you should NEVER say something like that to a woman. Then I broke into tears. Just started bawling. Had to leave and go to the bathroom and cry. I know that he meant no harm in his comment, but it was just really hard to hear someone say with how hard I have been working and how far I have come.

Replies

  • MJ7910
    MJ7910 Posts: 1,280 Member
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    i can't imagine saying that to anyone! was he being a jerk on purpose? sure sounds like it.
  • grrl77
    grrl77 Posts: 108
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    Yeah. That's just a really dumbass thing to say, period. Like one of those derp guy moments. I once had a serious boyfriend ask me if I was going to 'shave under my chin before we went to his parents' place." Now I know he meant nothing by it - he was like the most awesome guy in the world who thought I was the sexiest thing alive. LOL. But at the time, dear god, girl. I was bawling, and he was just "..............." How do you recover?

    You're beautiful. You've come a long, long way, and he's just a stupid derpy guy who didn't know any better. Rock it out. You're amazing and you've accomplished more of a personal goal than probably 95% of people I know. :) xxoo!
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
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    It was just ignorance and I am not mad at him about it.... I am more mad at myself that after almost 150lbs lost, I still get mistaken for a pregnant chick. I am working on it though, and oneday, maybe, it wont happen anymore. Thank you both for support though. :)
  • tageekly
    tageekly Posts: 3,755 Member
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    That's just an awful thing to say, period. How can people be so cruel? I mean, it shouldn't matter if you're obviously pregnant, just don't open your mouth dude.

    I am so sorry. I've never been asked about my pregnancy (also not pregnant) so I can't understand completely what that must feel like but I can certainly imagine and I would be devastated after all the hard work to still hear those comments. The healthy thing is you came here for support and empathy, after a good cry, and you certainly aren't giving up or going back to old habits. We think you're pretty amazing for how far you've come and certainly believe you can keep going!

    *hugs*
  • Nharley
    Nharley Posts: 201
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    {{hugs}} to you. Don't give up on your goals. I get pretty emotional when one of those days hits me...it's like I wake up and wham!! some force just has taken all of my motivation, self esteem and feel good feelings away to some far away land. It usually happens around the week before my menses, or like around the holidays when my stress level is beyond normal. I hope that the rest of your day is smooth sailing. :)
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
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    Thank you all. It does help to hear these things from you guys! I will be okay and I am not letting one ignorant old fart ruin my day.
  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
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    Thank you all. It does help to hear these things from you guys! I will be okay and I am not letting one ignorant old fart ruin my day.

    >hugs<

    I squeezed real tight on that one.

    What I really hate about moments like that is when you just cant stop thinking about. I would love nothing more than problem areas to just instantly go away so I never have to think of those moments again.

    On the very best side of it you are doing something amazing right now by not running and eating and venting instead. Your on the way to being a healthier more amazing you :)

    However, your just where you need to be :) I hope you find comfort today. If you wanna vent some more you can PM :)
  • keesh1123
    keesh1123 Posts: 229 Member
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    I understand that ppl can be mistaken, but this really does sound wayyy over the top and very insensitive. Even if I were preggo I don't think that I would have liked that comment. Its not like I loved looking like a baby whale while preggo.

    but I guess it does kind of depend on his tone of voice, we didn't hear him so we are only assuming how he said it :)
  • Usbornegal
    Usbornegal Posts: 601 Member
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    I can SO relate. I have PCOS and IR, which means my body keeps trying to be an apple shape. Working in a psych hospital I have gotten that question many times - but always from the sicker patients. Like you, I tell them that is a personal and inappropriate question.

    To help work on this (besides losing weight) my trainer is helping me work weekly on core muscle and abdominal strength. These are the hardest muscles to tighten and tone since there are so few of them. Only 1/3 of the way to my goal I am sing great results in the toning department and am looking more like a chimney than a pot belly stove!!
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    *hugs* I've heard this comment before. A girl that lived in my apartment complex went around telling everyone I was pregnant, to just look at me. I was 250lbs then, and very sensitive about the subject cus I did want another child, but wanted to lose weight first. Well this lady who was my neighbor at the time approached me and asked me how far alone I was, my reply was "Oh no, (with a lol) I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat." She felt awful and hung her head and walked away. I'm sure she heard it from the other girl, which well I didn't know at the time. It sucks to hear that when your not.
  • Hoppymom
    Hoppymom Posts: 1,158 Member
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    Aww Gale. That really hurts. I had it happen twice in one night at my 20th class reunion. I was always really skinny about 103 at graduation and 162 that night. I felt just sick and the people were both horrified and apologitic. I still put on 100 more pounds. I don't know why people do that. Hugs to you. Sharon
  • lovinbutterflys
    lovinbutterflys Posts: 131 Member
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    I will never forgot when me and my hubs first got married and we went to this old guys house to pick up his washer and dryer he was selling to us. He was going on about it then he touched.....yes touched my tummy and said "I don't think you might want to buy this, since your having a baby it might not handle large loads" (smdh) I didn't take offensive just thought he was old and didn't know any better. Sometimes you have to take a step back a truely decide if someone is saying it to be mean or truely believe you are pregnant and don't mean harm. Regardless i know it sucks to hear it but you have to be strong and keep pushing through those comments b/c believe me more bad comments are sure to come. EXCEPT as you continue to lose weight it will be more like "how much more weight do you plan on losing you look sick" or crazy comments around that line. Be strong take a deep breath shake it off and cry if you need too we will always be here to give you support! rachel

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  • norma67
    norma67 Posts: 255 Member
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    (((((((((((major hugs))))))))))))

    oh goodness I am sorry that is a rough day

    sometimes people just don't think before they spea

    (I can come over and look mean at them for you:devil: )
  • izzydino
    izzydino Posts: 254 Member
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    That sucks! I get hit with that occasionally..... hang in there!
  • EsperanzaE
    EsperanzaE Posts: 10
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    Dont listen to the negative, just take the clothes, exchage them, and block the negative out.....you have done EXCELLENT! 60 lbs is no easy task :)

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