GAAAHHHH!!! - a bit of a rant

just laugh it off...aint no big thang unless you let it get to you...dont let it

Sorry to hear that you've not been encouraged when you have been clearly very strong. There are many reasons why people don't like others losing weight, and these include sabotage - even from our nearest and dearest.

Well done for staying so focused at a really tough time of year, don't listen to the 'nay-sayers' you have done a great job! Tell them to butt out :-D

I always remember my Rosemary Connelly teacher saying that if a person is on a medicinal diet such as for coeliac, people accept it. She suggested that we come up with something that would work for us such as - 'I have to reduce my fat intake for health reasons' . Keep going, you're doing great!

Your not being stupid honey. But you seem to be seeing this as an all or nothing challenge. I looked at your diary and in my opinion you could have made some choices that would still have left you with a lovely meal but a bit lower on the calories. For instance instead of having both fried potoatoes and chips you could have had just the chips which were the lower calorie option in this case.

You don't have to pig out or starve yourself, just eat in moderation then you can enjoy the things you do eat with your family without beating yourself up over it and without making other people uncomfortable. They won't notice that you have picked the carrot sticks to use in the dip over the doritos or a pile of salad and lean meat over the quiche. They will just see you eating and enjoying yourself.

As for the cheese have a few tiny pieces and cut up an apple that way your plate looks full and you are making a more healthy choice than crackers.

Good luck hun

My family Christmas dinner was horrible as well. I ended up not eating anything cause I didn't want to deal with the comments and ridicule from my family for being vegan. Sometimes its our family who can be more mean than complete strangers. I am sorry. It sucks!

I applaud you for being able to exercise restraint. I, myself, keep shoving my face today. I was harassed all week about not eating enough (since when is 1700 calories not enough), so today I went nuts and ate everything in sight. So, no, you aren't being stupid -- in fact, you are being sensible. Stick with it!

The lovely thing about this situation is that it is your body, your choice as to what goes into your mouth. I second the idea about going for a walk, and then if there is something you really want, use those exercise cals to have a taste. Good luck.

If you are worried about being teased, fill (but don't pile) your plate with the healthier options you can find and nibble. Drink a lot of water between bites. That way you'll feel more full, still get to enjoy some treats, and it won't look like you are 'starving' yourself. Since you are drinking more you'll need to get up to use the restroom. Take your plate out and re-arrange the food and it'll look like you got more. It's sneaky, but sometimes family gatherings aren't the place to make a stand, so you need to use a little subterfuge.

I've actually amused myself at food-related gatherings by making a game of just this thing. Creatively pile up the plate with anything you can find that's good - carrot sticks, apple slices, maybe a few thin slices of cheese. Rearrange the food frequently. Put one cookie on there and wave it around while you keep moving around the room so no one knows it's the same cookie. Water down the drink, use ice. Refresh the garnish. The trick is to fool those critics into thinking you're enjoying all those goodies. Then they shut up, and you win. Reward yourself by eating the cookie. LOL

You've got this!

It may sound like I'm being kind of pathetic, but I know that with such a huge spread on, once I start I can't stop, which is why I chose not to start this evening. I had a big enough lunch and to be perfectly honest I actually am not that hungry - when the food was out I thought I was starving - but now it's been put away I'm actually ok. I had some water, 5 almonds and a clementine and I didn't need them I just ate them to shut everyone up. I'm so proud of myself - can't believe I did it!! :bigsmile:

Good work!

I think most of us would not be able to stop once we started on a huge spread.

If I wanted some of the spread I wouldn't just pick at the food on the table. I'd get a plate, preferably a small one, and put what I was going to eat on it. That's your chance to make the right choices on both the types of food and the quantities. Once you have your plate and you've done your best to estimate the calories, just chip away at it slowly.

I don't want to make you scream but there is a saying "It's not what you eat between Christmas and New Years, it's what you eat between New Years and Christmas".

If you are worried about being teased, fill (but don't pile) your plate with the healthier options you can find and nibble. Drink a lot of water between bites. That way you'll feel more full, still get to enjoy some treats, and it won't look like you are 'starving' yourself. Since you are drinking more you'll need to get up to use the restroom. Take your plate out and re-arrange the food and it'll look like you got more. It's sneaky, but sometimes family gatherings aren't the place to make a stand, so you need to use a little subterfuge.

I don't want to make you scream but there is a saying "It's not what you eat between Christmas and New Years, it's what you eat between New Years and Christmas"

No you are not being stupid. You are doing what is right for you. You don't tell them what they should eat and they should not do that to you. That is what you should tell them. You should be proud of yourself and not cave in.

You are not being stupid. Ask them to support you and respect your efforts to lose weight!! Stay away from "empty carbs" as best you can... it's what will hurt you the most. Drink lots of water or tea to keep yourself hydrated. Push food around you plate.

I sat at a carb-fest with my family on Christmas Day and they respected that I was eating veggies and lean meat!!

I'm sorry your family is so mean and childish. I think a good strategy for next Christmas is to start at the very next family gathering, especially if it's a holiday - Easter or even Valentine's day - to let them know ahead of time that you will be spending the day with a friend, and calmly explain that being called stupid for working towards a better, healthier lifestyle was not your idea of a good time, and therefore you will be spending the day with someone who has manners. Pick someone who has the ability to enjoy your company over a modest, healthy meal. Then at the next family gathering, agree to go, but let them know that you will not criticize their food choices and they will not criticize yours. If they learn to behave, enjoy their company. If they start in on you again, meaning multiple people or one uncorrected-by-the-others, LEAVE - immediately is most effective, saying, "we can try again next holiday!" Be as cheerful as you can through it all, but firm and leave no room for discussing your decisions.

You are making better food choices for yourself. It is also healthy to make good relationship choices. Yes, they are your family. That is the BEST reason ever to set and maintain boundaries. It's the only chance to grow the respectfulness in the relationships, too. For some stupid reason a lot of families believe they can do and say whatever rude things they want within the family and the others "have to" put up with them. It took me a long time to learn otherwise, but I am SO glad I put my foot down!