Eating Disorders

In recovery from EDNOS making good progress!

I want to recover from anorexia, but it just keeps getting worse. Now I'm 5'3" and 89 pounds.

Yikes!
Think of the future you who cant have kids and has to take hormone replacement!
Eat!
BTW I love girls with curves!
=D

I'm in recovery. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa in 6th grade but last year it was changed to EDNOS as I had gained some weight back from developing some bulimic tendencies.

Trying to recover from EDNOS before I get rediagnosed as anorexic. Had anorexia when I was a kid too. There are at least 3 groups on here supporting ED sufferers and recoverers.

When in my late teens/early twenties I was bulimic. Prior to and since then I deal with binge eating and just plain overeating, yet all my life lived in denial about all of it. I no longer purge, but have to force myself not too because the thought is ALWAYS there. Funny I read this post today because I just last night contacted a 12-step recovery program that I will be starting next week.

In recovery for Binge Eating Disorder since Feb 2010.

What did you have to go through in order to understand that the ED was harming you?
Are you willing to point the finger at someone who is in the midst of their ED and tell them to get help?
Are you willing to say something to people who congratulate someones diary that is way too low?

Honestly, I knew the ED was harmful (theoretically--most people with disorders be it ED or substance abuse, etc, have a "it could never happen to me" outlook, at least to some extent). I'm a lot older than these folks and grew up in a different. . ."world" of eating disorders, though: as a child/adolescent/young adult with anorexia, it was VERY ALIENATING and LONELY, and these girls now have online communities where they egg each other on and compete (I don't believe they'll make them all anorexic, but they're harmful nonetheless). The only "community" I had was when I was inpatient or in group therapy. Anyway, the only way I've gotten help was, really, when I've just gotten so exhausted from it all, mentally and physically. It's not a sustainable lifestyle. You end up either switching to binging and purging, or you stop.

I don't really believe in "confrontation"-style intervention (ironically, I also have a MA in psychology); however, I do believe in just telling people that I'm there for them if they need me or need help. People can't be forced into treatment or help. It doesn't work. I have had to cut people out of my life with ED before, though, while in treatment because it was too triggering for me.

Regarding the last question, though, I will call those people out, as well as people who give "tips." This mess has really dominated my whole life, and I am not about to tell someone else how they can destroy theirs. I'm in my 30s and don't have gainful employment (despite having a masters degree and a child), have been inpatient 5 times and intensive outpatient other times. I have a lot of health problems. This isn't just a problem for teens: I had 40, 50, 60 year olds in my last group. That REALLY motivated me for recovery.

Once upon a time, I was 72 pounds at 4'11", now I am 95 pounds trying to get to 100-104. That's 16 years in the making.....It's not as easy as someone telling you that you have to eat and you have to throw away the scale.

I had Bulemia for many years. I have tried to become "anorexic" in an attempt to lose weight. It started in middle school because of the teasing. It finally got better 3 years after high school. It still rears its ugly head now and then though. I knew it was bad for me. There was a part of me that felt like even if it did kill me, it was better than living the hell I was in. I didnt care. I would restrict pretty much all week (eat about 200 calories and run 3 miles) and then on Saturday, I would eat whatever I wanted, but throw up after each meal. Sunday, I would just eat. and eat. and eat. Because it was my "free day". It was about control. I could control SOMETHING....... anything. I had to have some teeth removed in the back when I was 19. I had horrible reflux from where the acid had begun to erode my esophagus. I got help. Shortly after I started dating my boyfriend (27 y/o at the time), I explained to him my situation and my cycles. He asks me what I have for breakfast and lunch almost every day. He encourages me to make good choices and doesnt keep my binge triggers around the house. I still fight it. 10 years later, and I still fight the little voice that says "taco bell sounds good, and a lot of it, i can just throw it up later" or "lets see, I have eaten an apple today, so I better keep dinner really light".

I'm trying to recover, but I'm a binge eater. I don't like talking about it because I am actually a healthy weight, but I work out. I feel lousy about myself and I wish I could stop. I hate to admit it but at times I have even thought of purging (I haven't and I wont) but it would make things worse.

Everyday I try to improve, it's a work in progress.