Spouse not getting it?

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TheFitHooker
TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
in Motivation and Support
Just curious anyone else have the issue of the spouse not really getting it? Not really understanding the excitement when you drop or reach a goal? Don't get me wrong he always says he is proud of me and is pretty supportive.

My husband came in from work and today I hit my end of 2011 goal, and I of course am excited and am telling him, and he didn't really say nothing, and then changed the subject about his game he has been playing, and well I just let the convo die. No it didn't hurt my feelings, but made me think "MFP is the only place that really get's it."...
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  • lorac321
    lorac321 Posts: 627 Member
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    Mine doesn't get it either. Same thing... "proud of you" but he has no idea just what a thrill little victories are. I recently made it to ONEderland and I was doing my little dance... not really anything from him. "Good Job" He might get it if he actually tried to lose some weight and found out just how hard it really is.
  • amberpickens
    amberpickens Posts: 149 Member
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    My husband is the same way. Hes says "way to go" or "good job" but im not sure he understands.I lose a pound and im dancing through the house all excited and hes just lookin at me like im crazy
  • lorac321
    lorac321 Posts: 627 Member
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    BTW: Not sure what your goal was but CONGRATULATIONS!
  • speedycakes
    speedycakes Posts: 152 Member
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    My guys does the same thing. They just don't get it. I'll be like I LOST 5 POUNDS!! :D His reaction "that's nice." -_- No good job honey?! he doesn't have to be super excited about it but a little acknowledgement or support would be nice.

    ALSO! I hate it when i tell him i'm trying to eat better and he brings me home pizza and junk. No I don't have to eat it but I can't throw it away. I can't stand waste.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    Awww sorry you're not getting the support you'd like.

    When I hit 50 lbs lost, my husband went and bought me flowers and a balloon that said 50 on it.....it was intended to be someone's birthday balloon but he re-purposed it! Teehee.

    Hope you know you're still amazing, and we all do get it, the big victories and the small!
  • zippo32
    zippo32 Posts: 1,419 Member
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    I say, "I'm thinking about getting a HRM"
    Spouse say, "Can you wait till Christmas?"
    I say, "Sure" .........thinking the hint has been planted.
    This Christmas: No HRM.........................................................................................................................................I'm getting my own!
    Unsupported Z.
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    speedycakes - Lol my husband wouldn't let it go to waste, he'll offer like last night he offered me a cookie and I was like "Thank you for thinking about me but no thank you." He doesn't always do it but I know he doesn't think sometimes lol.

    LuckyLeprecha - That's awesome! Sounds like a great guy you got there!
  • bunnysone
    bunnysone Posts: 486 Member
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    My husband was told by his doctor a few years back to lose weight or pick out his coffin. Hard but true. It was the only thing that got his butt into action.

    After losing around 20kg he hit a plateau earlier this year and thought he couldn't lose any more.

    I told him about MFP and demonstrated what it did for me (I lost around 10kg in a couple of months) so he joined.

    He lost another 10kg roughly and is still on his way to his goal weight.
  • carrie_eggo
    carrie_eggo Posts: 1,396 Member
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    My husband just wants me to be hot. He is supportive though. But I can't talk to him about exercise and nutrition...Some of the people on here "get it" though and I'm thankful for them.
  • crazy4youz
    crazy4youz Posts: 28 Member
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    I don't have a hubby, but I am in a serious long term relationship. It could just be that he doesn't see why you want to lose weight (or doesn't want it to seem like HE wants you to). My bf just keeps saying "You look fine, but if you feel you need to lose weight go for it." I can tell that he would love if i were thinner and more toned, but he'd never act overly excited about it for fear of making me self-consious around him.
  • sarahricks
    sarahricks Posts: 90 Member
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    I have the same feeling. My husband can eat absolutly anything and not gain weight, he's been 140 for the last 15 years. I look at food and gain. He can't really understand the joy in loosing weight.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    ya ya...great...whats for dinner?
  • ocrunner11
    ocrunner11 Posts: 293 Member
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    Nice job! You are doing this for yourself, congrats!!!!!:flowerforyou:
  • bcampbell54
    bcampbell54 Posts: 932 Member
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    I went through an unsupportive ex. She just didn't understand that I didn't want that "extra helping," or that I would rather exercise than watch that TV show. I just wanted to live better.
    I am remarried, and my new wife is part of this whole journey. Life is better.
    I feel your pain, though.
  • brendabuckeye
    brendabuckeye Posts: 53 Member
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    My hubby is supportive in a 'you look nice, but what is the big deal' kin of way. I wish he would jump on board and DO this with me, but in the end, I am taking care of me. He is a grown up and I am tired of trying to drag him along to get healthy. :( I feel for you, but keep up the good work. You are getting healthy and you should be VERY proud!
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    I don't have a hubby, but I am in a serious long term relationship. It could just be that he doesn't see why you want to lose weight (or doesn't want it to seem like HE wants you to). My bf just keeps saying "You look fine, but if you feel you need to lose weight go for it." I can tell that he would love if i were thinner and more toned, but he'd never act overly excited about it for fear of making me self-consious around him.

    Lol oh no, he has made it very clear in the past that I was fat and needed to lose weight. I'm serious, it got ugly quick. I am not losing weight for him and never thought about losing it for him. If someone can't accept me at my worse they don't deserve me at my best. He was able to take me at my worse but he honestly was not happy, and I know that. He is happier now, but if I get excited about a mini goal, the only place I can share that is here, no one get's it around me.

    My end of year goal was to get out of Obese and into over weight status. I reached it today at 169 :)
  • Renee2GetFit
    Renee2GetFit Posts: 162 Member
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    OMG - I'm so glad to see that I'm not the only person that has this problem. I've been married for 12 years and over the years, I've let myself go. My husband is the type that will make little comments or jokes about me and my weight that only he thinks is funny and he'll do it in public! Drives me insane!!!
  • fatboypup
    fatboypup Posts: 1,873 Member
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    Them guys better start getting it before some other man does
  • ajourney2far
    ajourney2far Posts: 60 Member
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    My husband "tries" to get it - but fails badly. There is no gym near me - I have to travel at least 20 miles from work one way to get to a gym and hubby says, "Why can't you just exercise at home?" I once went on a diet and he did at the same time. We ate the same thing. He lost 20 lbs - I lost 4. He said I must have cheated. Also, I love having fresh fruits and veggies in the house on a tray - he goes for the fruit but tells me that the veggies are too expensive - to just get frozen or canned. Nope... he doesn't get it. :sad:

    BUT he has retired and he does get the groceries and cook for me - although it is usually way too starchy. I have to really eat carefully what he cooks. I do appreciate the sentiment though. AND he brings me breakfast in bed - :heart: either oatmeal or Fiber One with an orange quartered. He is a good man... just doesn't get my need to be food conscious. I did finally get him to measure the cereal - one problem though - he buys WHOLE milk!
  • crazy4youz
    crazy4youz Posts: 28 Member
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    :flowerforyou: Congrats on reaching your goal btw

    In all honesty though, if he's the one that was complaining about your weight he should be a little more supportive :ohwell: Maybe you could sit him down and talk to him about it?

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