dating a bad idea?
I am just at the beginning of my journey, iv lost 15lb so far but have much more to go and it was brought to my attention that if i start dating, it might be a bad idea for my own personal goal since i do use food as an emotional crutch and the person i have gone out with a few times already is not that into looking after their own health in either the foods they eat or trying to stay active. Id love some insight on either personal thoughts or experiences.
0
Replies
-
I'd wait until more weight is lost, because you'll attract better looking guys.I am just at the beginning of my journey, iv lost 15lb so far but have much more to go and it was brought to my attention that if i start dating, it might be a bad idea for my own personal goal since i do use food as an emotional crutch and the person i have gone out with a few times already is not that into looking after their own health in either the foods they eat or trying to stay active. Id love some insight on either personal thoughts or experiences.
And also try to meet somebody who is into health and fitness like you are, and instead of a food binge at the nasty Chinese buffet, you both might go to a smoothie bar after a walk in the woods.
That was my last "date".
It's all up to you though, but I just know what I'd do given that situation.0 -
Was it brought to your attention, or do you kinda just want to not get into something with him anyway? Be honest.0
-
I think anyone you date should have similar goals in mind. You don't have to be exactly the same but if you are health minded and he isn't that is not a good foundation to lay. Dating may not be your biggest problem, just look for someone more compatible.0
-
Well, if this is really important to you and not him, you will have difficulties from the beginning. Losing weight isn't really a thing on the side, it really becomes your whole life until you learn to have a balance. It's important to be on similar wave lengths with your partner to be.
You really need to ask yourself if this is very important for you or not, an inactive person could be your terminator of your journey. but if it isn't that important then it really doesn't matter.
AND
MaximaLife said it.........you'll attract better looking guys. WHO DOESN'T WANT THAT!!:laugh: :laugh:0 -
I waited until I felt comfortable with myself before I started dating. My new guy eats whatever he wants but is very supportive of me and my goals and of the time I like to spend in the gym. I tell him not to feel bad about eating infront of me and if I want to eat that too, I can. But in the beginning of my journey I was do strict about what I ate that this relationship would not have worked. So now that I am comfortable with my body and don't emotional eat anymore and have 100+ lbs under my belt, if doesn't effect me. So I think you should maybe wait a bit until you are ready. Then the right guy will fall into your lap like mine did.
keep your chin up girl...he's out there!! 0 -
"Was it brought to your attention, or do you kinda just want to not get into something with him anyway? Be honest."
It was brought to my attention, first person thats been interested in me in over a year and a close friend started pointing things out.0 -
MaximaLife said it.........you'll attract better looking guys. WHO DOESN'T WANT THAT!!:laugh: :laugh:
Some of us realize there's more important things in life.
Personally, a guy interested in me for my looks alone was always a huge turnoff.
Do you like HIM? That's all that really counts. You don't need to have all the same interests, as long as your overall values mesh.
My goal is to win a trophy in a 5k. My husband's doesn't run, loves video games and his closest goal to mine is to photograph me crossing that finish line and holding that trophy.
We're compatible. Our overall world views are the same when it comes to religion, finances, politics, that sort of thing. We have mutual respect, attraction and admiration for each other. And even though I'm interested in health and fitness and he's not, we eat mostly the same foods. Sometimes, I would love him to come running with me. And I'm sure sometimes he wishes I'd play Battlefield with him. But it's good to have some areas of our lives that are still our own.0 -
Are you into this guy? Really, truly into him? If not, I'd say focus on yourself. If you are, then you need to decide what's best for you. There's no saying he wouldn't be supportive of you. Sometimes good things come along at what seems like the worst times.0
-
To date or not to date is really not the issue here. Whether or not you can overcome the challenges of maintaining your healthy lyfestyle and avoid the temptations that life throws at you is what you should be considering.
You need to integrate your focus into your new healthier lifestyle.0 -
I think this has less to do with where you are in your weight loss, and to do with being with someone with similar goals or a similar desired lifestyle. After I lost about my first 20 pounds, I started dating someone whose eating habits were similar to mine before I started losing weight. I didn't gain weight during the two years I was with this person, but my weight loss stopped. After we broke up, my weight loss resumed.
Keep in mind that this person doesn't necessarily have to be overweight for there to be issues. Although my husband eats a healthy diet and exercises now, for most of his life, he ate a steady diet of Mt. Dew, hotpockets, energy drinks, etc.. Because he has a very high metabolism, this diet did not cause him to be overweight. When you're with someone who eats a lot of crap, it's easy to do it yourself. I wish I could remember the citation, but a study a few years ago found that when a thin researcher shared an unhealthy snack with a subject, subjects ate more than when the same snack was offered by the same researcher wearing a fat suit. In other word, when you're with someone skinny, it may actually be easier to pick up their bad habits.0 -
"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." -Gloria Steinem
Enough said.0 -
Whenever you are looking to achieve success on another level, it is always best to surround yourself with those people who already have success at the level you want to be at.
If you are the fittest and healthiest person in the room, then you need to go into a different room...
Find someone who can and will support you in your fitness goals. That will be best for your well being and the well being of your eventual family.0 -
I am just at the beginning of my journey, iv lost 15lb so far but have much more to go and it was brought to my attention that if i start dating, it might be a bad idea for my own personal goal since i do use food as an emotional crutch and the person i have gone out with a few times already is not that into looking after their own health in either the foods they eat or trying to stay active. Id love some insight on either personal thoughts or experiences.
You know, it's a personal choice and if the person is definitely right then go for it. But, in my experience, unless they have similar goals when it comes to eating or exercising I find myself unable to stay on track. Also, like you, I use food to cope emotionally, which is never a good place to visit. Personally, I have decided to stay out of the dating scene until I'm completely self-satisfied.0 -
The fact you're asking an online forum should tell you everything you need to know.
If you were really all that into him, there wouldn't be a question of it....just my thought on the matter0 -
well said my friendWhenever you are looking to achieve success on another level, it is always best to surround yourself with those people who already have success at the level you want to be at.
If you are the fittest and healthiest person in the room, then you need to go into a different room...
Find someone who can and will support you in your fitness goals. That will be best for your well being and the well being of your eventual family.0 -
Personally, I have decided to stay out of the dating scene until I'm completely self-satisfied.
You are going to miss a lot of things if you keep waiting for that moment. Just saying.0 -
I think you should hold off on being in a relationship until you're completely satisfied with the direction your life is taking. It's very easy to get comfortable and give up on dreams when you've got someone to cuddle up to. Besides - the more weight you lose, the better men treat you!0
-
Its not a bad idea, but a lot of relationships start with dates and dinners, etc. Its not easy to remain on your diet when instead of the healthy meal you had planned, someone else had planned to take you out for dinner.
I'm also in a new relationship and we both agreed that it was VERY IMPORTANT for us both to keep with our fitness goals and stay active and eat healthy. We have similar opinions when it comes to exercise and push each other in the gym and when we run/swim/etc.
If she wasn't as supportive, and we weren't on the same page it would be VERY easy to slip into "Dinner out" every other night or going to the movies instead of the gym. Just something to think about.0 -
I think you should hold off on being in a relationship until you're completely satisfied with the direction your life is taking. It's very easy to get comfortable and give up on dreams when you've got someone to cuddle up to. Besides - the more weight you lose, the better men treat you!
sure glad i dont hang around the same men you do!!!! :flowerforyou:0 -
You're a grown woman. Do what you want and listen to your intuition.
ETA: if you're listening to your inner voice, I recommend seeing a psychiatrist. They have pills to help with that.0 -
^^^^^I think you should hold off on being in a relationship until you're completely satisfied with the direction your life is taking. It's very easy to get comfortable and give up on dreams when you've got someone to cuddle up to. Besides - the more weight you lose, the better men treat you!
THIS!
Reality is what reality is. Life can be so unkind, but we still must deal with life as it is - not how we wish it could be.
Focus on yourself, get fit and expand the pool of available, quality guys.
At the end of the day, it's about looks first, then all that other stuff.0 -
Take care of yourself and find someone else that takes care of themselves.0
-
I think anyone you date should have similar goals in mind. You don't have to be exactly the same but if you are health minded and he isn't that is not a good foundation to lay. Dating may not be your biggest problem, just look for someone more compatible.
I tell guys I'm interested in right away. "Being healthy can take up a lot of my time so unless your on the same boat I might just leave you behind"
I need someone who interested in the same things as I am and that includes healthy choices.
And whoever said "Besides men treat you better the more weight you lose" ---I just thew up a little in my mouth0 -
Interesting. This could be the test that you needed to get to your goal. I say never pass up an opportunity to date. Sometimes you never know who you will fall in love with. If its meant to be its meant to be if not oh well. Your main goal is to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle and you need all the real world situations a part of it. You do not want ot lose the weight and then deal with the emotional issues later and gain teh weight back. Remember its a lot harder to see weight gain as it sneaks up on you.
Go out..have fun...date but keep your goals insight. If that person really likes you and respects you then they will hopefully take a look at their health and be inspired by you to get healthy.0 -
I'd wait until more weight is lost, because you'll attract better looking guys.
Hmm...using this logic, I should dump the guy who thought I was beautiful even when I was obese. Sorry honey, apparently I can find someone more attractive! :noway:0 -
Having a common interest in being healthy is important especially at the start of your journey. Having dates that revolve around food is not good for the efforts you are making, especially if he doesn't have your mind set. I met someone after I lost 40 lbs and he was in great shape, plus he knew I was still trying to lose more. I managed to continue to lose another 23 lbs while we dated, yes we had meals together but our dates never revolved around food. We'd also go to the gym together or dancing, we were pretty active which helps when you are also going out for drinks.
The last person I dated wasn't very fit, but he was definitely supportive and whenever he cooked for me it was always healthy.
But as others have said only you know what's best for you.0 -
Besides - the more weight you lose, the better men treat you!
ROFL... really? Seriously? Wait - you are serious? :sick:
Hahahaah .. sad, just sad.0 -
"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." -Gloria Steinem
Enough said.
this quote!
Yes I'm single...0 -
First person who has been interested in you? This makes me question it. Are you interested in him for who he is or just that he showed interest? You need to deal with this question now. The more weight you lose, the number of men who show interest will increase. Go for the ones you are interested in at any weight.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions