Obese sister doesn't care..

Over the years, I have had family members "try" to help me as well. It made me feel ashamed, embarrassed and caused me to be very secretive about my eating. It also caused a lot of hurt feelings. I would hate to see this come between you and your sister. Be very careful in what you are doing and saying. When you are overweight it is very easy to see someone who is trying to help because they are truly concerned and care as someone who is being judgemental. As much as you would like to help her, she has to make the decision on her own. In the meantime, do what was suggested, ask her along to physical activities, maybe take a healthy cooking class together.

oh and....did you know that Bob Harpers sister is obese and hasn't come around to ask him for help....craziness!!!!

My sister is 16, 5'2", and 200 lbs.... I'm worried about her health (alot of heart related problems, high blood pressure, and diabetes runs in my family) but every time I try to bring it up to her she acts like she doesn't care... Any tips on how to get through to her?

My sister is 18, 5'7" and almost 300 pounds. I am worried about her getting diabetes too because she just eats and eats. I tried getting her to join for a while too, but she wouldn't listen. She loves going out to eat with her friends all the time, but I got through to her about 3 days ago! I don't know if it will last, but at least she's on board for now. I showed her a bunch of the sucess stories on here, mostly the drastic ones that lost around 100 pounds, and when she saw that I have lost 12 pounds, she finally decided to do it with me. She does 30 DS with me now daily, and she counts her calories on here. Maybe it will work for your sister too.

-Edit: I didn't show her the pictures as in a "You have to join" way, but a "wow, look at this!" kind of way.

I've given up straight forward attempts because she just shuts down... Now i just stick to subtle hints.. Offering to cook for her so that her meals are healthier, asking if she wants to walk to the park thats a mile from our house, or the store thats 2 miles away... She usually agrees to it... But 2 healthy meals a week and exersize 2-3 times a month doesnt do much :ohwell:

Sounds like you're being an amazing sister!

Keep in mind that weight, to some people, it's something they want to deal with or think about. I'm 28 and up until this year, I tried to lose weight without thinking of the health aspect of it--just how I looked. Nothing worked, and I ballooned from 175-225 in about 8 years. I was embarrassed, but my family's "support" only proved to lessen my self esteem and drive.

Only now that I'm looking into my health (I have a stupid variety of health concerns that have caused me to be unable to lose weight), have I found things that are starting to help. By supporting her *health*, you may be able to get through to her more easily.

Keep up your own good work, talk about *your* health when she's around, and encourage her to live a healthy lifestyle. All of this may help her discover her own path. Good luck!

My sister is 23, 5'3" and around 190 lbs. Any time I ever brought up any of my running or lifting, she got kind of irritated and acted like she didn't care. She finally admitted to me that it is because she feels hopeless and doesn't know how to get started. This might be the same case with your sister... she already knows how you feel about her weight so now all you can do is lead by example and then be there for her with advice when she asks for it. Then it will be up to her to put it to use.

by example only...no words...no judgment

^^^THIS!!

I AGREE!!!!!

Just lead by example.

Use fun ways to get her to start moving. Like go to the mall with her and just window shop. Walking to various stores on opposites sides of the mall. The real deal is if she doesn't want to make a change, she won't.

Use fun ways to get her to start moving. Like go to the mall with her and just window shop. Walking to various stores on opposites sides of the mall. The real deal is if she doesn't want to make a change, she won't.

I agree, and I know you said earlier you have her walk to the park or store sometimes. You should try that more often. I took my sister on a tour of my college, and we ended up walking up at least 9 different flights of stairs (in different buildings) and she was out of breath, but she did it.

In my opinion, the people closest to us are often the people we listen to the least. An example, I can give advice to my husband and he will totally blow me off like what I said was silly. Then about a month later he will start repeating what I said previously but only this time he thinks it's great advice because he read it in a magazine or heard it from a co-worker. It drives me nuts! I think that it will take someone who she isn't close with to set her straight....like maybe her doctor. I have a friend who I keep encouraging to lose weight with me (she has horrible health problems due to her weight) but she will not listen. All I can do is lead by example. I am scared for her but I know the more I push the more she will resist......just try to encourage her in non naggy ways....like ask her to join you for a 5k walk or something like that. Good luck!

Until she is ready you can't force her to do it. My parents and brother pushed me for many years, and I just hated them for it. When I decided to do it for myself, then there was a change. Unless you want her to hate you, you need to back off and let her realize it herself.

I agree with this post and others like it. If you want her to resent you keep nagging, otherwise when she is ready she will make a choice to change. All you can do is love her the way she is, that is what she needs support. I know it's tough but you know the toughest thing is for people who suppose to love you unconditionally don't show it. She knows she is overweight and if she’s happy so be it.

I will start by saying I've only read part of the first page of replies to your topic.

I was that fat sister for almost 40 years. No amount of cajoling, suggesting, gifting me with health books or trying to make me eat better worked. I was resentful, hurt and avoided my sister like the plague when she talked about exercise and diets.

Until she is ready to make a change on her own, she won't. I saw that a few others said to lead by example. You are both young and she will see how much attention you get not only losing weight but getting more attention from men. Shallow, I know, but THAT might get her to want to change. She will also see how great you feel when you're bouncing around and strong and healthy. THEN you can step right in and show her the way! Just be there for her.

Good luck!

My best-ever weight loss experience was 10 days in London with my big sister. We walked and took the underground EVERYWHERE, and packed our own breakfasts and lunches of things like fruit, cheese, crackers, and bottled water. I lost six pounds in ten days, and came home with a completely new appreciation of what relatively small changes can do. The thing is--none of the choices we made were about my weight. We walked and took the underground because that's what people do in London, and we packed breakfasts and lunches to save money on food so that we could spend money on other things. So it was a wonderful chance to be with my sister while it was happening, and when I got home I had a bunch of new ways of thinking about food and activity that I had learned for myself.

My sister is 16, 5'2", and 200 lbs.... I'm worried about her health (alot of heart related problems, high blood pressure, and diabetes runs in my family) but every time I try to bring it up to her she acts like she doesn't care... Any tips on how to get through to her?

People who don't care usually are suffering from some sort of self confidence or depression. That should be addressed first.

A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition