Obese sister doesn't care..

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2

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  • crazy4youz
    crazy4youz Posts: 28 Member
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    The first diet I ever went on was because I wanted to be as pretty as my boyfriend said I was (yeah, I married that guy).

    That's one of the reasons I'm on my diet :smile: we've been together a little over a year and a half and we plan on marraige
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
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    A PowerPoint presentation.

    I kid. This...
    by example only...no words...no judgment
  • crzyone
    crzyone Posts: 872 Member
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    I"m the obese sister......and you can't change someone till they want to change.....losing weight is hard enough when we WANT it and TRY to do it......when we don't want it, it just isnt' going to happen.....there's little you can do other than the little things you are doing now.......if you nag on her, she will just resent you and feel like you don't love and accept her for who she is...and, at 16, that is a very important thing, to know that her sister accepts her exactly the way she is.......if she's not feeling well, have her see a doctor, if possible....if there is a health problem then maybe the doctor can be the "bad guy" that tells her she needs to go on a diet or die......or that will show her the benefits of losing weight....

    Other than that...just keep loving her.......fat can be beautiful and until we want to change, we won't....

    Good luck..
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    If she's 16, where are her parents in all this?
  • BeautifulScarsWECHANGED
    BeautifulScarsWECHANGED Posts: 749 Member
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    by example only...no words...no judgment

    ^^^THIS!!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    I'm more worried about the health aspect... She's complained of pain in her arm and getting really dizzy.... I don't want to see her have a heart attack at 16 :frown:

    Understandable, but you really can't force someone to care about their weight. What you can do is invite her on some active outings (skating, hiking, swimming, lazer tag, paintball, etc.). Look for charity walks and get her form a team with you. But if she is not receptive to comments or help with her weight, then don't mention weight or exercise, just that you think it would be fun.
  • victoria233
    victoria233 Posts: 80
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    I completely agree with leading by example.

    Why dont you try to introduce her to MFP? And then she can work with it on her own terms....no matter how old you are, what sex you may be WEIGHT is always an incredibley sensitive subject.

    Good luck <3
  • Petunia64
    Petunia64 Posts: 5
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    That is such a cute story, I wish you and him the best of luck.
  • thor1god1of1awesome
    thor1god1of1awesome Posts: 481 Member
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    Like everyone else people can only change when they want to. Like someone else allready said lead by example.
  • tinydancer24
    tinydancer24 Posts: 98
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    I have been struggling with the same issue. I sit and watch Biggest Loser and bawl cause that is my sister up on that screen. I have tried to encourage her but all I get is excuses as to why she can't do it. I have given up and will just sit back and wait till she is ready. She knows how I live my life so I pray that when she is ready she will ask for help. It's extremely hard to sit back and watch your family members die a slow death!! Thank you for the advice!
  • ChanlynMay
    ChanlynMay Posts: 37 Member
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    Over the years, I have had family members "try" to help me as well. It made me feel ashamed, embarrassed and caused me to be very secretive about my eating. It also caused a lot of hurt feelings. I would hate to see this come between you and your sister. Be very careful in what you are doing and saying. When you are overweight it is very easy to see someone who is trying to help because they are truly concerned and care as someone who is being judgemental. As much as you would like to help her, she has to make the decision on her own. In the meantime, do what was suggested, ask her along to physical activities, maybe take a healthy cooking class together.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    I'm more worried about the health aspect... She's complained of pain in her arm and getting really dizzy.... I don't want to see her have a heart attack at 16 :frown:

    Where are your parents?
  • tinydancer24
    tinydancer24 Posts: 98
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    oh and....did you know that Bob Harpers sister is obese and hasn't come around to ask him for help....craziness!!!!
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    That is such a cute story, I wish you and him the best of luck.
    :huh:
  • Sd0510
    Sd0510 Posts: 295 Member
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    My sister is 16, 5'2", and 200 lbs.... I'm worried about her health (alot of heart related problems, high blood pressure, and diabetes runs in my family) but every time I try to bring it up to her she acts like she doesn't care... Any tips on how to get through to her?

    My sister is 18, 5'7" and almost 300 pounds. I am worried about her getting diabetes too because she just eats and eats. I tried getting her to join for a while too, but she wouldn't listen. She loves going out to eat with her friends all the time, but I got through to her about 3 days ago! I don't know if it will last, but at least she's on board for now. I showed her a bunch of the sucess stories on here, mostly the drastic ones that lost around 100 pounds, and when she saw that I have lost 12 pounds, she finally decided to do it with me. She does 30 DS with me now daily, and she counts her calories on here. Maybe it will work for your sister too.

    -Edit: I didn't show her the pictures as in a "You have to join" way, but a "wow, look at this!" kind of way.
  • janet_pratt
    janet_pratt Posts: 747 Member
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    You can't. My niece is 21. She's been overweight since her early teens. She was 200 pounds at 16 and is now over 300. She has two beautiful little girls. I am a personal trainer and she has asked me to work with her, then doesn't show up for the sessions. She wants to lose the weight, but can't find the motivation to actually do the work. People will not change until they are ready to change. It has to be something they really really want for themselves. You can't want it for them, it just doesn't work. I know because I want it for her so badly. She's beautiful and a single mother and her weight is holding her back in so many ways.
  • ethompso0105
    ethompso0105 Posts: 418 Member
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    I've given up straight forward attempts because she just shuts down... Now i just stick to subtle hints.. Offering to cook for her so that her meals are healthier, asking if she wants to walk to the park thats a mile from our house, or the store thats 2 miles away... She usually agrees to it... But 2 healthy meals a week and exersize 2-3 times a month doesnt do much :ohwell:

    Sounds like you're being an amazing sister!

    Keep in mind that weight, to some people, it's something they want to deal with or think about. I'm 28 and up until this year, I tried to lose weight without thinking of the health aspect of it--just how I looked. Nothing worked, and I ballooned from 175-225 in about 8 years. I was embarrassed, but my family's "support" only proved to lessen my self esteem and drive.

    Only now that I'm looking into my health (I have a stupid variety of health concerns that have caused me to be unable to lose weight), have I found things that are starting to help. By supporting her *health*, you may be able to get through to her more easily.

    Keep up your own good work, talk about *your* health when she's around, and encourage her to live a healthy lifestyle. All of this may help her discover her own path. Good luck! :)
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    My sister is 16, 5'2", and 200 lbs.... I'm worried about her health (alot of heart related problems, high blood pressure, and diabetes runs in my family) but every time I try to bring it up to her she acts like she doesn't care... Any tips on how to get through to her?
    No, just work on yourself and leave her alone.

    When she sees your new wonderful life as a fit person, you will have something she wants but can't have.

    And that is when she will decide to change.
  • agleckle
    agleckle Posts: 235 Member
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    My sister is 23, 5'3" and around 190 lbs. Any time I ever brought up any of my running or lifting, she got kind of irritated and acted like she didn't care. She finally admitted to me that it is because she feels hopeless and doesn't know how to get started. This might be the same case with your sister... she already knows how you feel about her weight so now all you can do is lead by example and then be there for her with advice when she asks for it. Then it will be up to her to put it to use.
  • crazy4youz
    crazy4youz Posts: 28 Member
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    If she's 16, where are her parents in all this?

    Our biological father has always been overweight, until his heart attack last year. Now he's lost some weight mainly because his new wife is a health nut and the meds he's on.

    Our mom is a "Thin is happy" kind of person.. She gets mean when she tries to talk to her about it... She's more into the look aspect than the health.

    And our stepdad is the kind of person that can eat whatever he wants without gaining. I dont let him talk to her about it because he's believes any extra weight is disgusting.

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