I never used to hate myself..!

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  • AugustEmbee
    AugustEmbee Posts: 19
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    I have been where you are...hated the way I looked and felt. But take that negativity and turn it around. When you feel like that...GO WALK! When you look in the mirror and see a part of your body that just disgusts you, do some crunches or clean house! Lots of exercise in cleaning house! Don't let it get you down as it will defeat you. Welcome! I'm new to this too and my goal is to be positive and feel better. The looking better part will come if we stay with it. Good luck and stick with it. I start a new job next week and none of my nice clothes fit. That was inspiration enough for me!

    Oh wow... good luck with your new job. Great thing about a new job is that you can be anyone when you first walk in the doors... Beg, borrow and steal from your best friends closet to get you through.

    Is it tacky to say my goal is to have a better sex life? LOL *blush*
  • MermaidFaith
    MermaidFaith Posts: 495 Member
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    I remember looking in a mirror and seeing that my belly and my chest look like an cartoonish alien. It still does but I can change that.

    funny. i always compare my back to the zoidburg guy from futurama's stomach.
  • RosalindaP
    RosalindaP Posts: 31 Member
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    LOL that's an awesome goal!!

    I get exactly what you mean though, I have been very comfortable in my skin for a long time. Too comfortable!! That's how I got to this weight.

    Be nice to yourself...you are still the same person you were before, just more aware. But get this...it is ok to be angry with yourself for having a set back. Get stern with yourself! I AM NOT GOING TO CONTINUE TO GO BACKWARDS!!! Use the negative feelings to spur you forward and get more determined to be successful.

    Begin rewarding yourself too though! Tell yourself GOOD JOB! When you exercise consecutive days or stay within your caloric goals. Make sure you own your strengths with as much power as you are owning your weaknesses. That is the balance!
  • vinylscratch
    vinylscratch Posts: 218 Member
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    We already face so much oppression from other people! You need to be your own safe refuge. Treat yourself like you would your very best friend who is feeling down or is sick! Really stop and listen to yourself... the part of you yelling "I HATE YOU!" could really just be a little girl who doesn't know how to say, "I really need some down time. Let's put the heating pad under the blankets near your toes and watch a movie you haven't seen since you were 10 because you're an adult and you can."

    Give in to these kinds of things! Please love yourself! You're so beautiful and so deserve it!
  • MrsPong
    MrsPong Posts: 580 Member
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    I was always a "little" heavy... always worked out and felt good about myself. After having my daughter 3 years, I kept the weight on and looked "horrible". I was 175. I hated myself everyday, was always mean or depressed. After a year of finally tired of being depressed about it I hit the gym... a year after I was down 40 lbs!! I was 135.

    See my husband is a marine and as much as he loves me and I love him, I cant help but feeling "judged" for my food choices. When I got down to 135, I felt amazing and happy and everything fit the way it was suppose to!! After a visit to Japan (seeing my husband who is there for a year) I started to just eat, bc i wasent over weight anymore and I wasent feeling bad. The little cookies, and snacks here and there added up and havent stopped since... I now weigh 155. (150 was goal weight at first) 20 lbs heavier than before....

    I'm back to HATING myself and always depressed and upset because of the way I look. My husband tells me I still look great and all that jazz, but you know its not good enough... I'm not good enough, I let myself go and I feel more ashamed than anything...

    BUT after all that, I'm trying to keep myself happy , head held high, and stop with all the negative words to myself. Hopefully with the help of friends on here I can reach my goal again!!


    Good Luck, I know you feel "bad" but alot of us do... thats why we have such a support system here to tell the little voices in your head to BACK OFF. :)
  • AugustEmbee
    AugustEmbee Posts: 19
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    LOL that's an awesome goal!!

    I get exactly what you mean though, I have been very comfortable in my skin for a long time. Too comfortable!! That's how I got to this weight.

    Be nice to yourself...you are still the same person you were before, just more aware. But get this...it is ok to be angry with yourself for having a set back. Get stern with yourself! I AM NOT GOING TO CONTINUE TO GO BACKWARDS!!! Use the negative feelings to spur you forward and get more determined to be successful.

    Begin rewarding yourself too though! Tell yourself GOOD JOB! When you exercise consecutive days or stay within your caloric goals. Make sure you own your strengths with as much power as you are owning your weaknesses. That is the balance!

    You rock, thanks! GOOD JOB AUGUST.
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
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    lol, nice thread
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
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    *Hugs* sweetie!

    Look at it this way: You're working hard at losing weight because you care about yourself, right? (Just nod and keep reading. :wink: )

    So you're obviously worth the bother of eating right, exercising, and doing all the hard work that's involved in being healthy, right? (Nod again.)
    '
    Does that sound like someone stupid and worthless and ugly? (Shake your head 'no' here.)

    *kitten* happens. Unhealthy eating happened to a lot of us here. But - IT'S DONE. You can't undo yesterday - no one can. But today, right now, it's all good. It's all about taking care of yourself BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH THE BOTHER. I really wish I could remember who I saw say this on here, because I quote it a lot: "Guilt doesn't burn calories." Shame doesn't either - it really doesn't serve any useful purpose.

    So don't cut yourself down anymore, or if you start, ask yourself what purpose it's truly serving you. There are better ways (my opinion, of course) to keep your head in the game and to take care of yourself.

    I really liked this post. Thanks for sharing.

    To the OP...if you wouldn't say it to your best friend (you wouldn't tell your best friend she/he was ugly, fat, worthless, etc., right? of course not!) don't say it to yourself. :flowerforyou:
  • sweetoblivion314
    sweetoblivion314 Posts: 55
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    I went through a similar things but I changed it in one significant way.
    Before I started my weight loss I didn't care about my physical appearance at all. I was indifferent to it, but indifference is very far from happiness. As I started the journey I needed to use negative feelings to stimulate me to continue. But I had the strength and faith in myself to make those negative feelings stimulate positive action.
    I didn't sit there mentally hugging myself and saying "you are great, don't be upset." I said to myself, "You are fat and ugly, but I can change that." The truth was that I was fat and sloppy and ugly. I couldn't deny or ignore it anymore. That would be counterproductive. So I faced it and put faith in myself to overcome it.
    Admit to the truth but know that you have the power to change anything, especially things within yourself.
  • buckeyetex315
    buckeyetex315 Posts: 33 Member
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    Acknowledging when you overeat or don't eat healthy foods is different than beating yourself up about it. I'm trying to learn to balance my diet and manage my carb intake due to my new diabetes diagnosis. I don't always get it right, but a LOT of the time I do. Celebrate those times when YOU get it right!

    I always try to acknowledge my screwups and then try to dispassionately figure out what I cando differently the next time. That is one of the great things about this site is the ability to really analyze what you've eaten. I can look at a meal and see that I have done really well. But I can also look and see that I might have done better if I had had the biscuit with egg & cheese WITHOUT the sausage or bacon. Or only had 1/2 cup of blueberries with milk instead of a whole cup, etc.

    Good luck and try look at the overall picture. Think about where you'll be in a month, six months or a year. Keep up the good work!
  • twanthe1
    twanthe1 Posts: 407
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    I think it is all about being healthy - no one could ever live up to the worlds superficial standards but we can get ourselves healthy and appreciate the work we put into getting there. In the age of mass media it is hard not to get insecure about something but we can't let that turn us against ourselves. I have made a few feeble attempts at getting into shape and most were for the wrong reasons, now that I am beyond those reasons I feel confident that I can reach my goals.

    I wish you luck on your journey.
  • unicornqueen79
    unicornqueen79 Posts: 1
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    *Hugs* sweetie!

    Look at it this way: You're working hard at losing weight because you care about yourself, right? (Just nod and keep reading. :wink: )

    So you're obviously worth the bother of eating right, exercising, and doing all the hard work that's involved in being healthy, right? (Nod again.)
    '
    Does that sound like someone stupid and worthless and ugly? (Shake your head 'no' here.)

    *kitten* happens. Unhealthy eating happened to a lot of us here. But - IT'S DONE. You can't undo yesterday - no one can. But today, right now, it's all good. It's all about taking care of yourself BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH THE BOTHER. I really wish I could remember who I saw say this on here, because I quote it a lot: "Guilt doesn't burn calories." Shame doesn't either - it really doesn't serve any useful purpose.

    So don't cut yourself down anymore, or if you start, ask yourself what purpose it's truly serving you. There are better ways (my opinion, of course) to keep your head in the game and to take care of yourself.

    WOW!! I love what you said! very true! I am always cracking jokes about my weight, I don't know why I do it, maybe so no one else is given the chance? I am very hard on my self! but thank you for posting this reply! :)

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