Spouse support

My husband has been great! He will ask me before he sits and eats 'junk' food in front of me - thankfully I am usually feeling strong and he gets to eat it anyway but I appreciate that he cares enough to think it may bother me! He will change his schedule to let me go to the gym if it helps to make sure I get there on busy days. He complements me on how well I am doing or how I look and we will sometimes work out, go hiking etc together! He's over a foot taller so he doesn't have to be as careful about what he eats, but he's been very supportive and I really appreciate it. Just wish sometimes he would have told me that I was putting on a bit too much weight - but he's probably not that stupid!! lol


Do you think your wife may be a bit jealous of your progress? Have you been supportive of her feelings/fears?? Or do you think you have been a food and diet bore!! Maybe you can talk about it and meet in the middle and both get on the same track!

This is super tough. My spouse is generally supportive, but he's also sort of "naturally thin" so he can eat pretty much anything and maintain. When I really ask him to, he will agree not to bring food in the house, but then he hides it in the car - and I feel pretty bad about that.

What we have started doing is portion controlling any junk food he brings in the house. For some reason, when it's in the little ziplock with a sad 12 chips in it - I tend not to eat it. He knows he can go and grab 5 of those things and still be fine, but it discourages me a bit.

We also go out to eat a lot, but I've found I can actually do it with MFP by planning my meal. We try to stick to healthier options (fish places, or places where I can get a reasonable salad or meat and veggies), and I do A LOT of researching restaurants which have nutritional guides online, If you check my diary, some days you'll see the whole day filled out by 11. That's because I know we're going to dinner, and I've already researched the restaurant to see what I'm going to eat, and plugged it in so I know my calorie limits the rest of the day.

It's a lot of work, and sometimes it makes me feel obsessed with food, but it's the only way I feel like I can eat out and be responsible.

Yeah, I know how you feel. He's not quite my spouse, but we live together. He thinks that losing weight is easy. His advice to me was stop eating a cracker and getting a drink during morning break and the weight will fall off. That may be how he does it, but I do not get a cracker for a morning snack (nor have I ever) as a habit and I quit drinking soft drinks with sugar at least 15 years ago.
Thanks, honey. :ohwell:

My husband is VERY supportive however, one thing that really bugs me is that he would rather run to get fast food than run to the store. I have a lot of medical issues, so it is hard for me to go by myself to the store. So I am stuck with whatever he is in the mood for. Then he complains about eating out all the time lol. It makes me mad and drives me crazy. I need to put my foot down more.

Mine is much like yours, but I do not let it bother me. This is my life style change not theirs so I just keep everything to myself. Sometimes I will say hey, you know I have lost a total of 85 lbs this week. He will be like good job.... but that is all I get. He never says OMG you look amazing or anything, but he never has and why should I expect it now. How I feed my ego I guess is, guys look at me. Not saying I like it, but they do. If they do that means I am doing a great job and should keep it up. EGO IS FED... If my husband wants to go out I log the items I am eating before we leave. I go online and look at their meals. He is used to it, he used to give me crap but now a year later he is used to the fact that I count calories. I wish I got more feed back from him, but I don't and its ok. I will just share my joys with my MFP friends A part of me thinks he is jealous that I have gone from a size 16 to a 6. He is not super over weight, but could stand to lose a few. I am dedicated and he isn't.

My wife has been quite happy with my progress and efforts to drop the weight. But, like it seems a lot of us are going through, she isn't overweight like I am. Therefore, she continues to enjoy junk food and orders what she likes at restaurants and likes to bake treats every so often. My willpower is quite strong though, so resisting at this point is not hard. She also does get quite annoyed at my tendency to grab my phone, or jump online right after a meal to make sure I enter everything I ate (before I forget something).

I have to admit, though, despite having her (and others in the real world) being supportive of my goals, it often does feel though like I am "one against the world".

Yes, in general my wife is very supportive. Very encouraging when I loose. She does all the cooking and frequently makes me salads to go with the meal. She is very supportive of me working out.

The only real issue is bringing in sweets. It is not to many, but stuff like a dozen doughnuts every so often. Temptation I don't need. Would you bring in a 1/5 of wiskey and leave it on the counter when there is a alcholic in the house?

At least I can put it in the cabinet and not seeing it helps

I do the cooking for my partner, but he will want to go out at least a few nights a week. I think he does it to give me a break, but honestly I don't mind cooking most of the time. I have learned to say no when he goes to certain places or when I feel I should really just make myself dinner.

The reality is that you may be alone for awhile. Part of the whole journey is figuring out whether you are strong enough to do it, and strong enough to love your spouse anyway for who they are. It may take quite some time for your lifestyle change to begin to rub off on her.

My wife and I have nearly always had competing goals. She wanted to lose, I wanted to gain. She does the shopping, so there would be almost nothing in the house to add meat/protein calories with...it was frustrating at times. But guess what? I'm a big boy, I can go to the store, too.

There will be times that you will want different things than she does. But try to stop yourself short when it comes to the things you can actually control, instead of piling the blame for that on her.

edit: beckysiz has some good advice as well. Applies not just to weight loss, but to many other things. A friend of mine once became much less religious over the period of a year or so, and it introduced some real issues into his marriage. Funny thing was that he was actually a better person, but the foundational lifestyle changes made a mess of his marriage.

oh man your wife and my husband need to get together! exactly the same! hates that i spend two hrs a day at the gym, pissed that i dont wanna eat out, hates me on the computer all the time with this hobby, brings crap in the house all the time, hates that i get hit on right in front of him now! the other day on of his co-workers said, "how in god's name did you get her to marry you?" lol he has no interest what so ever in getting healthy although heart issues run in his family and he carries around 40 lbs of extra weight in his gut! I got a gym membership last yr and then he said ok i will sign up, then proceeded to complain the entire time that he went with me for a whole two wks! 500 bucks down the drain as we pre paid the damn thing! ugh! and is constantly asking me to go get him ice cream or whatever so he doesnt have to get his *kitten* off the couch! Then as I have been losing steadily hasnt said jack about how good I look! I finally just kept up with making healthy meals, he usually goes back for 2nds although his plate is full and it should be way more than enough food for the night! I am just going about this for me, not for him and try not to worry about it any more.I never say anything about his weight because I would never want him to do that to me and it doesnt help anyone anyway.If he is ok being unhappy and miserable with back issues, low energy, very little sex drive, and a sucky attitude about life there really isnt much I can do about it! I just take care of me and make sure my kids eat healthy also.

mine didnt like it at first - thought I was going to force him to count calories and stop eating his chocolate and pizza. Took an argument and a talk but now he's being supportive especially after the hard work started to show some results. he would still let me pig out, and wants pizza and other unhealthy foodsies - but at least he compliments me and encourages me in doing better at the gym.

i know its harder to do than say, but just ignore the trash food the SO brings. and have a good talk. if your SO still cant accept your changes then there's something more going on than you trying to loose weight.

When I first started, my boyfriend supported me 100%. He helped me abstain from snacks, and he ended up losing about 40ish pounds himself by eating when I ate. He ate slightly bigger portions or maybe had a beer, but for the most part, he was really awesome. If I didn't feel like working out, he would push me to go to the gym, and we'd work out together.

We ended up taking a 3 month break due to family loss, birthdays, anniversaries, Halloween and Thanksgiving, but we are now 2 weeks back on track. We both gained back a little. He liked being thinner and when I said I wanted to get back on track, he was even more willing to support me. So now we're both trying to eat healthier and be more active.

I honestly don't think I could have lost as much as I have without him.

My husband does support me, actually he tries to watch he eats as well. We do go out & eat a lot, but its always my choice as to where so that we go somewhere I can eat I think, personally that even with losing weight one shouldn't keep his or herself "kept away." You have to learn how to be able to go out in public & make healthy decisions. I'm sorry your wife doesn't support you