Looking good for a fat guy? Or looking good (period)

The compliments you received are nice ones! I'm down 104 lbs from my highest weight and my mother told me I no longer look like a fat person....now I just look like a chubby person.

And yes....I want to feel good before I look good so I definitely think you have the right philosophy. Congratulations on your weight loss and healthy lifestyle change!

Yes... but I haven't reached my goal yet. I find those remarks are motivating. I think "Wait until you see me in six months!"

Congratulations on your journey! Nicely done! But, I don't know that people were actually thinking "he looks good for a fat guy". They were probably honest compliments and/or attempts to be supportive. Sometimes when I notice someone losing weight, I just flat out say "Hey, you're really losing some weight." And, because my focus has been on losing weight - first for health reasons rather than "vanity" - and depending on how well I know them - I usually ask them questions like, "Do you feel better, too? I know I do when I lose a few lbs.", "What have you been doing to lose the weight?", etc. There was the time, though, that I hadn't seen a female co-worker in a few weeks. When I saw her, I honestly just stopped and said "Damn, you are hot!" Yes, she knew I meant that in an honest, supportive, female-to-female way. However, I think it did embarrass her a bit, but she was obviously flattered as well.

same here, i keep on getting told i look too skinny, but according to BMI i am still obese, i dont know what to do, loose another couple of pounds so i am over weight according to BMI, or loose another couple of stone to be in the healthy range

There are so many permutations on this theme: "You look good for your age" immediately comes to mind. The trick is to teach yourself not to care about what people think of you. Once that happens, you are free.

But I actually *DO* care about what people think. I want to be attractive. I want people to look at me and think, 'Man, I need to do that.' Saying otherwise would be dishonest. I may be vain, but I'm also realistic. No one lives in a vaccum and I think it's a basic human desire to want the acceptance of your community.

Take the compliments, be gracious and preen. You worked hard, revel in it.

I get your point, but people are fickle, and other than that one in a million super model, we are all apt to appeal to some people, and not others. In addition, even when someone means to compliment you, language can be a crude instrument and it can end up not feeling like a compliment. We could all use better script writers to go through life, but we do with what we have!

For instance, the comment: "You look good for an old broad." Slightly humorous. Probably well intended. But, reminds me that my age is showing. Can this make me introspect on my age when I'm supposed to be out and having fun? Hell, yeah!! That's where someone like me has to learn to take personal comments on my looks with a grain of salt, and not let it bother me. A funnier, more extroverted personality would probably come up with a clever retort, but I'm the sort of person who can conjure up a good response after the person has left the room.

I get compliments now saying I look good even though I am just halfway there. I am happy to get them but I still have a way to go. take it in stride I guess.

I'm just starting and am afraid to get compliments. I am afraid that some people will pay more attention to me and feel like, if they really liked me, they should have liked me at any weight - I don't know if anyone gets that.. maybe it's just me. Honestly, unless the person is close to me, I think I hope that they don't say anything.. is that weird? To me, my body is personal and there's only a select few who should comment on it.. I think.

I truly understand this. I grew up overweight at a time it was pretty rare. I lost weight in my 20's, and I swear, it felt like I had joined the 'thin club.' People treated me differently, and by that, I mean better. For a while, I felt like an impostor, and also a bit of a betrayer to my past self who deserved to be part of the club. Afterall, it was still me in a smaller body.