Anxiety/Scared while flying....

CoraGregoryCPA
CoraGregoryCPA Posts: 1,087 Member
edited October 6 in Chit-Chat
What can I do about this? I just have a huge fear that I'm going to fall out of the sky. I have a huge fear of falling!

I'm getting married next August. My fiance loves to go to international destinations. The longest flight I had was 9 hours and it was so hard for me.

For our honeymoon, he wants to go to China. It will be a 3.5 hr flight to San Francisco, then a 12 hour flight to China. How do I survive this? On our 9 hour flight, I took Ambien.. It did nothing. I was awake after an hour then I was in fear of being able to drink because I know you should never mix the two.

I like to drink wine while I'm on a plane or I need some good drugs. Anxiety pills? Well butrin? Prozak? What do I do to relax and survive this flight? What have others done for international flights (not domestic flights please)?

Oh, please help me!!!
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Replies

  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    As unsettling as it is just remember that your chances of an accident are far greater in a car then in a plane.
    Morbid but true,you really have almost nothing to be worried about.
  • sarahlovestorun
    sarahlovestorun Posts: 36 Member
    Xanax is my best friend when flying.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I love to fly! Maybe you should get some sleeping pills and try to sleep for most of the flight, though.
  • HeikkiLaukkanen
    HeikkiLaukkanen Posts: 123 Member
    I'm an airline pilot. I have talked to people until I'm blue in the face about the incredible engineering that goes into an airplane, the back-up systems, the extensive training and experience requirements that the people fixing, monitoring, planning, flying, etc. are required to have. I have talked about the absolutely incredible safety statistics, how many people fly versus how many accidents there are. You are just about safer in an airplane that you are at home on your couch.

    At the end of that people still feel safer getting on the highway surrounded by people driving very fast, very heavy equipment while putting makeup on, texting, eating, driving drunk, than they do by having trained professionals deliver them safely to their destinations.

    Clearly I'm not an effective counselor.

    I hope that you can find an answer to your flying anxiety. Best of luck.
  • Justkf
    Justkf Posts: 208 Member
    Girl, i am an old pro at this. Friend me and we can exchange messages.
  • Frankenbarbie01
    Frankenbarbie01 Posts: 432 Member
    I have terrible anxiety about flying!! I used to be medicated (valium) to fly but this last trip to vegas in Feb we travelled with a group of people. I was too embarrassed to take anything that was going to knock me right out:blushing: Soooo.
    I took my smart phone and looked for free deep breathing apps and took a under the tounge drop from the healthfood store (Bach Flower remidies???) Used 1/2 the bottle on the way there.....I also LEARNED more ,about the mechanics of flying the more you understand the more you can rationalize to yourself that the apparant air pockets only make you FEEL like you are falling. It is really just different temps of air, like when you swim in a lake or pool and is NOT dangerous or scary. Between the three I have been able to go from a hyperventalating, sobbing mess on a 45 min flight (Ya...you DONT want to sit next to me!!) to being able to fly to Mexico and the carribbean, 6-8 hours, and actually relaxed enough to watch a movie.....places I would never get to experience had I not made an effort to 'talk myself down' You can find a method of controlling your anxiety!! I believe in you!!

    I think for me it has alot to do with the perception of 0 control of the environment...the imaginary brake doesnt work 30000 feet in the air LOL. Pilots are well trained and they know what they are doing as are the attendants (whom I watch like a hawk LOL...if they look nervous.....I pay closer attention =)
  • wmacinpa
    wmacinpa Posts: 2
    I take 5 mg of Valium when I put my butt in the seat of the aircraft. It greatly relaxes me and I can tolerate the flight. I found that as I flew more and more it got easier. I fly 2 or more times a month now without a second thought. Talk to you doctor. It is something you have to actively manage. On longer flights I take 1/2 of one and later take the other. I am sure your doctor can help you work it out.
  • latinahada
    latinahada Posts: 168
    Usually if you call to your Dr.'s office they will prescribe you Xanax or Ativan if you explain to them the situation!! Good luck!!
  • Flyntiggr
    Flyntiggr Posts: 898 Member
    I'm an airline pilot. I have talked to people until I'm blue in the face about the incredible engineering that goes into an airplane, the back-up systems, the extensive training and experience requirements that the people fixing, monitoring, planning, flying, etc. are required to have. I have talked about the absolutely incredible safety statistics, how many people fly versus how many accidents there are. You are just about safer in an airplane that you are at home on your couch.

    At the end of that people still feel safer getting on the highway surrounded by people driving very fast, very heavy equipment while putting makeup on, texting, eating, driving drunk, than they do by having trained professionals deliver them safely to their destinations.

    Clearly I'm not an effective counselor.

    I hope that you can find an answer to your flying anxiety. Best of luck.

    ^^^^^. THIS!

    I know when you have a fear logic goes out the window, but I did aviation accident research and analysis for about 7 years. Commercial flying is pretty much one of the safest forms of travel in the world.
  • CoraGregoryCPA
    CoraGregoryCPA Posts: 1,087 Member
    http://www.flyingfear.net/Download/10StepstoOvercomingYour FearofFlying.pdf

    I found this,,, this might help me as well.

    I'd actually like to learn the ins and outs of a plane. Maybe I'll buy some books in the meantime about the mechanics of a plane. Usually, the more knowledge I have, the less fear I have. Yet, I've never used this idea for flying!!
    I wonder if flight lessons would help me too. One thing that will comfort me on the plane is when the pilot talks on the sound system like an everyday normal person, not just an operator. I love to hear updates-even if he has to lie to me.

    When I'm in a car, I feel like I have control and (bonus) I'm not going to fall. When I'm on a plane, I don't know the pilot or his experience. I don't know if he cares about me falling out of the sky-lol. It's my crazy side, I know. I take domestic flights often, but I'm usually quite buzzed-which works well for domestic flights!

    I'll have to look into xanax and valium!!
  • wmacinpa
    wmacinpa Posts: 2
    Its not you trust me. My father in law is in maintenance for a major airline, I know all the safety and redundancies. When I was younger in the Navy I had no problem flying anywhere. I do have an extreme fear of heights to boot. Its you guys that I trust and allow me feel at least a little comfortable when I fly!
  • CoraGregoryCPA
    CoraGregoryCPA Posts: 1,087 Member
    I'm copying, pasting and saving this entire thread!! All of your advice helps little by little by little :)
  • solpwr
    solpwr Posts: 1,039 Member
    I love to fly! Maybe you should get some sleeping pills and try to sleep for most of the flight, though.

    This is me. major fun rush!
  • HeikkiLaukkanen
    HeikkiLaukkanen Posts: 123 Member
    http://www.flyingfear.net/Download/10StepstoOvercomingYour FearofFlying.pdf

    I found this,,, this might help me as well.

    I'd actually like to learn the ins and outs of a plane. Maybe I'll buy some books in the meantime about the mechanics of a plane. Usually, the more knowledge I have, the less fear I have. Yet, I've never used this idea for flying!!
    I wonder if flight lessons would help me too. One thing that will comfort me on the plane is when the pilot talks on the sound system like an everyday normal person, not just an operator. I love to hear updates-even if he has to lie to me.

    When I'm in a car, I feel like I have control and (bonus) I'm not going to fall. When I'm on a plane, I don't know the pilot or his experience. I don't know if he cares about me falling out of the sky-lol. It's my crazy side, I know. I take domestic flights often, but I'm usually quite buzzed-which works well for domestic flights!

    I'll have to look into xanax and valium!!


    If you have questions I'll do my best to answer them for you.

    I used to be a flight instructor. One of my students decided to get his private pilot's license so that 1) he could relate to his stepson who was a helicopter pilot in the Army, and 2) so that he could conquer his fear of flying. I think he was successful at both from the things he told me. One of my best students.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    You just have to decide to get over it. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I've been trying this lately and its really helping. Just saying, "Oh well."

    I had tons of fears and this past year have pretty much been getting over them one-by-one by simply...literally...getting over them.

    I know it sounds too easy to be true...but it worked for me...so maybe just try ^.^ good luck and congrats on ur wedding. ^-^ Planes are much safer than cars if that makes u feel better~ One of my dreams is to go to China...i love Chinese culture...so pls have fun for me!
  • Mama_CAEI
    Mama_CAEI Posts: 235
    I used to be fine with flying, until I had kids. Now I get major anxiety attacks. In a word: Ativan. Ask your doctor for a prescription...even just 10 pills to have on hand. Take half a pill shortly before your flight. If you don't actually fall asleep, you'll be so relaxed, you won't give a hoot about anything!!
  • chicago_dad
    chicago_dad Posts: 357
    Do you believe in god? If you do, it should be a significantly easier leap of faith to believe in the *theory* of aerodynamic lift and flight:

    http://www.langleyflyingschool.com/Pages/CPGS 4 Aerodynamics and Theory of Flight Part 1.html
  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
    I'm sorry to hear you don't like flying, hun. I would go to a doctor and talk it over. Maybe an anti-anxiety med will help. I don't think drinking the whole flight will help--especially since it will dehydrate you and make you feel icky.
  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
    Do you believe in god? If you do, it should be a significantly easier leap of faith to believe in the *theory* of aerodynamic lift and flight:

    http://www.langleyflyingschool.com/Pages/CPGS 4 Aerodynamics and Theory of Flight Part 1.html

    Wow... this woman has a serious issue with flying! I would recommend skydiving to anyone who has a fear of flying. You think I'm kidding?? While I've never been scared of flying, I know a lot of people who've tried skydiving to help them get over their fear. It works! No to mention... IT'S AWESOME!!!!!!
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    Xanax is my best friend when flying.

    I second this. I also have a ridiculous fear of flying. I tried lots of non-drug options to get over it, and nothing worked. Xanax makes me a functional human being when I fly.

    P.S.: To the airline pilot, chicago_dad, etc.: It is an *illogical* fear. I've tried to use use logic and my knowledge of how safe it actually is to calm myself down, I know it's safe, but I still get physically ill from anxiety. Knowledge of reality doesn't always fix mental problems.
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    Request 'Snakes on a plane' as the in-flight movie. You know, to take your mind off the fear of gruesome death. Good luck!!
  • red01angel
    red01angel Posts: 806 Member
    Xanax is my best friend when flying.

    This.

    My maternal grandparents were killed in the TWA 514 crash, so I've had some major anxiety issues while flying (which I have to do about once a month). I've definitely found it helpful to keep some Xanax in my carry-on just in case...and also, striking up a conversation with your seat mate is a great way to take your mind off the fact that you're flying and helps the flight pass relatively quickly. I've met some of the most interesting people that way!
  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
    I'm an airline pilot. I have talked to people until I'm blue in the face about the incredible engineering that goes into an airplane, the back-up systems, the extensive training and experience requirements that the people fixing, monitoring, planning, flying, etc. are required to have. I have talked about the absolutely incredible safety statistics, how many people fly versus how many accidents there are. You are just about safer in an airplane that you are at home on your couch.

    At the end of that people still feel safer getting on the highway surrounded by people driving very fast, very heavy equipment while putting makeup on, texting, eating, driving drunk, than they do by having trained professionals deliver them safely to their destinations.

    Clearly I'm not an effective counselor.

    I hope that you can find an answer to your flying anxiety. Best of luck.

    I believe you :) And I also believe that while planes are fun to fly in, they are a heck of a lot more fun to jump out of :tongue: :tongue: :tongue:
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
    gosh i wish i knew, i've been on a plane probably 30ish times and i still hate it


    & as far as the car vs plane argument, yes you're more likely to get into a car accident but you're also more likely to survive if you get in a car accident than if you get in a plane accident. It's not a comforting argument.
    I think there is also a control aspect, you feel like you have more control over the situation when you're the one behind the wheel of the car.
  • gg24
    gg24 Posts: 58
    I take Xanax. I love to travel but have anxiety attacks when flying. Not a pretty sight. I've even thrown out my shoulder by gripping the arm of the seat too hard. I tried everything from bio feedback to alcohol. Xanax worked the best for me. It's not much fun for your partner as you sleep a lot. Also make sure someone is with you at all times. Decision making with Xanax is a joke. I've gotten lost in many a airport after landing. :)

    The fear is not based in logic. Um, I'm an engineer and work for a plane company. LMAO The test pilots tease the crap out of me. The planes are safe. *nods*
  • LeeDahlen38
    LeeDahlen38 Posts: 150 Member
    I fly 2-3 weeks a month, and I was scared as hell for awhile. Here are the two reasons I have no fear anymore.

    1) I believe when my God decides it's time, What I want or when won't matter. AND

    2) There's a hell of a good paycheck waiting at the end of the RT Flight!

    Those two combined with a wine or 2 keep me sane!
  • CoraGregoryCPA
    CoraGregoryCPA Posts: 1,087 Member
    These responses are great! Thanks everyone. I feel even more better than I did yesterday. Sounds like Xanax or Ativan will be a win for me! I do believe in God. I'm "ok" with dying (by the time I get on the plane to China-the last thing I want to do before I die is to be able send my kids to college-I still have to have kids before this can happen). It's the falling part that I have fear of.

    Love the answers, thanks everyone! Happy New Year's!
  • Spruillie03
    Spruillie03 Posts: 155 Member
    I have the same problem. I self-medicate at the airport bar, but if you're looking for something a little less self-destructive, try reminding yourself that the pilot(s) don't want to die either. They're going to do EVERYthing in their power to keep themselves alive, which in turn, keeps you a live.

    That kind of helps me.
  • HeikkiLaukkanen
    HeikkiLaukkanen Posts: 123 Member
    I have the same problem. I self-medicate at the airport bar, but if you're looking for something a little less self-destructive, try reminding yourself that the pilot(s) don't want to die either. They're going to do EVERYthing in their power to keep themselves alive, which in turn, keeps you a live.

    That kind of helps me.

    Yes. I'm as interested in going home safely to my family as you are to yours.
  • HeikkiLaukkanen
    HeikkiLaukkanen Posts: 123 Member
    I believe you :) And I also believe that while planes are fun to fly in, they are a heck of a lot more fun to jump out of :tongue: :tongue: :tongue:
    [/quote]

    Always wanted to try that. One of these days!
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