I'm still in love with my Ex boyfriend
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He broke up with me... 6months ago and, Im still not over him... in fact I still love him and I know feelings are still there, but I guess I should just ignore them because he already has a new girlfriend.
We broke up - for multiple reasons honestly, and it was much needed. He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first love and I was his first Girlfriend and love as well. We needed to experience life outside of each other and this time apart has changed me and Ive grown soo much, Im very happy. In the 6 months we've been apart Ive lost 60lbs and I saw him at the gym last monday where he definitly noticed the weight loss, we talked & later that night he even texted me. (i ignored the text though)
Seeing him, chatting and him texting me later, let me know that he still isnt over me either and feelings are still there... BUT he has a girlfriend *sigh*
I guess ill just keep doing me and living life and what will happen will happen right? If hes meant to be in my life he will be... theres nothing for me to do but to move on and continue living... right?
He texted you and said that even though he has a girlfriend? Sounds like a bit of a douche.
no his text didnt say anything about him still wanting me or not being over me... it was just a casual conversation starter. i ignored it, but i just think that the fact that he texted me (even tho he has a gf) just shows that he isnt completely over me and feelings are still there. also the way we interacted at the gym... and just the enegy0 -
Is ever getting back with an ex a good idea? lol
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hell no!!! me and my ex played the break up back together break up back together game for 4.5 years. we had a kid together and that was the ONLY reason i got back together with him, stupidly enough i thought that maybe things could work out because of the kid. Definately not. Besides my son, the only good thing i ever got from dating him was losing 30 lbs in 3 months. We have been broke up now for 3.5 years and i couldnt be happier without him. I am now married and have 4 amazing little boys. I hope that you dont go back to him just because he noticed you lost weight. You ARE better than that i know that you will find someone someday that will make you happy no matter. Good luck to you on your journey0 -
Do you really love him or just miss him? I thought I loved my first two boyfriends, but once I moved on and dated someone else, I forgot all about them. I found out I really didn't love them at all. If you end up with someone else, but still think about him, then it may be different. Now, you might just be lonely.0
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I feel for you! I separated from my wife last February.... We were high school sweet hearts and married young (I was 20, she was 19). We had 2 lovely children, and were married since 1996. I have been with her for 18 years, until she had an affair with a man 10 years younger than me the day before our 15th wedding anniversary. Not a nice present. She denied everything but I knew. The truth came out, and I kicked her out. I hit rock bottom and felt I lost everything. Up until about 2 months ago I loved her still. Now though, I have rediscovered myself and a new life with a future I;m excited about. Sometimes when a familiar door closes, you need to lock it. Then, all these other wonderful doors appear, and you can walk right on through to a better life! No regrets... I was once told, if you love 2 people at once, choose the second, because if you truly love the first, you wouldn't have loved the second. For me, I'm the second. I finally love me for who I am, and that is the greatest gift! I wish you all the best for 2012!0
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Do you really love him or just miss him? I thought I loved my first two boyfriends, but once I moved on and dated someone else, I forgot all about them. I found out I really didn't love them at all. If you end up with someone else, but still think about him, then it may be different. Now, you might just be lonely.
So very true!0 -
Why not concentrate on yourself and loosing weight????????????
that is what im doing
its just running into him last week and having him text me has put him on my mind... im trying to push him back out tho and just focus on me
sometimes it doesnt matter how far out of the relationship you are, you run into someone and think "what it" It especially happens with your first love as you tend to put them on a pedestal so to speak.
I had a horrible break up a few years ago. actually it was probably only horrible for me because I thought he was the one and he broke up with me because he just didnt love me like that. It was actually the most mature break up I've ever been involved in but I was still devastated. In any case, we talked and texted afterward and it was probably the worst thing I could have done. I remained hung up on him and didnt allow myself to move on. I couldnt change what he felt (or rather didn't feel) for me, but I kept hanging on and trying. Eventually I realized what I was doing and how bad it was for me, and stopped talking to him for several months. Years later I can talk to him and dont feel any of that but it took time. I honestly think if you talk to this guy it will make it harder to move on. You just hit a little set back by running into him - it brought back old feelings and they are likely intensified by the fact that he was your first love, broke up with you, hes the one who initiated contact again last night.
You need to just be strong and let it go I say. Don't message him back just because you feel a little vulnarable after running into him - you seemed to be doing pretty good before that.
If its meant to be then he'll pursue you in the future, hopefully when he doesnt have a girlfriend.0 -
Do you really love him or just miss him? I thought I loved my first two boyfriends, but once I moved on and dated someone else, I forgot all about them. I found out I really didn't love them at all. If you end up with someone else, but still think about him, then it may be different. Now, you might just be lonely.
I agree with this. Sometimes we just miss the 'idea' of people rather than the person themselves. 22 is too young to be worrying about one relationship, people have many in their lifetime usually and they are learning experiences.0 -
In my experience...getting back with an ex is never good. You obviously broke up for a reason, and sometimes those reasons just don't always go away. Take it from me, last night marked the forever end of my three year relationship with my on and off again ex boyfriend.
This might be different for other people..
I'm glad you ignored the text
It's probably better that way. And it is okay to miss people. I'll miss my ex boyfriend just like I still kind of do the one before him (THAT was a bad one..)
I hope all goes well for you!0 -
Why not concentrate on yourself and loosing weight????????????
that is what im doing
its just running into him last week and having him text me has put him on my mind... im trying to push him back out tho and just focus on me
sometimes it doesnt matter how far out of the relationship you are, you run into someone and think "what it" It especially happens with your first love as you tend to put them on a pedestal so to speak.
I had a horrible break up a few years ago. actually it was probably only horrible for me because I thought he was the one and he broke up with me because he just didnt love me like that. It was actually the most mature break up I've ever been involved in but I was still devastated. In any case, we talked and texted afterward and it was probably the worst thing I could have done. I remained hung up on him and didnt allow myself to move on. I couldnt change what he felt (or rather didn't feel) for me, but I kept hanging on and trying. Eventually I realized what I was doing and how bad it was for me, and stopped talking to him for several months. Years later I can talk to him and dont feel any of that but it took time. I honestly think if you talk to this guy it will make it harder to move on. You just hit a little set back by running into him - it brought back old feelings and they are likely intensified by the fact that he was your first love, broke up with you, hes the one who initiated contact again last night.
You need to just be strong and let it go I say. Don't message him back just because you feel a little vulnarable after running into him - you seemed to be doing pretty good before that.
If its meant to be then he'll pursue you in the future, hopefully when he doesnt have a girlfriend.
omg. this helped tremendously. thanks 0 -
omg. this helped tremendously. thanks
No prob!0 -
amen!!!But he broke up with her, not the other way around. He shouldn't be texting her when he has a girlfriend, right? So going back to what I'm saying... he needs time (even if he wouldn't agree) to think over WHO he wants. If she jumps right back on the hook, he'll sit there and think he's got it made - two women.
I say, oh no you don't!
you are wise beyond your years lol
even tho i dont know how old you are lol
I'm 35 and love giving advice. Getting back ex's has always been this weird special skill of mine. I married an elusive ex-flame (after dumping him and then very tenuously letting him back into my life), and have managed to keep the ole stallionfor almost five years now. ha ha Did I respond when he first tried to get me back?
Hell no! He was the one who ran away from me!
But the big guy never gave up pestering me and I count myself lucky even now that he didn't.
My particular little fairy tale is besides the point, other than to highlight that on occasion, you can give a person a second chance and hit pay dirt. Unfortunately, I've never felt that way about anyone else. Most guys came back to me still incapable of being a lasting companion, so I am usually unwilling to let them walk right back into my life.0 -
I totally feel for you...breaking up is hard to do. But remember a couple of things...
1) You broke up for a reason, and that reason is likely that one of you was not happy in the relationship.
2) If he has a new girlfriend, he has moved on...so it's time for you to do the same.0 -
bottom line is this...you say...still in love....there is doubt.....never end anything with ..."what if?" I say if you really love him...put it in his face....no games...no texts...no calls....no emails....face to face...go forward or not...but never end anything with doubt or "giving him time"
I'm with Dave on this one 100%.... life is short to sit around and wait for someone. If you want him, make sure he knows. If he's not interested, then certainly moved on with your life. Otherwise, you will always be wondering "what if?".0 -
You were able to ignore his text???
I seriously find that amazing.
I can't go a day with out texting the dude I love.
I totally wish I could because I'd rather not feel like a burden to him but it's soo hard not to.0 -
amen!!!But he broke up with her, not the other way around. He shouldn't be texting her when he has a girlfriend, right? So going back to what I'm saying... he needs time (even if he wouldn't agree) to think over WHO he wants. If she jumps right back on the hook, he'll sit there and think he's got it made - two women.
I say, oh no you don't!
you are wise beyond your years lol
even tho i dont know how old you are lol
I'm 35 and love giving advice. Getting back ex's has always been this weird special skill of mine. I married an elusive ex-flame (after dumping him and then very tenuously letting him back into my life), and have managed to keep the ole stallionfor almost five years now. ha ha Did I respond when he first tried to get me back?
Hell no! He was the one who ran away from me!
But the big guy never gave up pestering me and I count myself lucky even now that he didn't.
My particular little fairy tale is besides the point, other than to highlight that on occasion, you can give a person a second chance and hit pay dirt. Unfortunately, I've never felt that way about anyone else. Most guys came back to me still incapable of being a lasting companion, so I am usually unwilling to let them walk right back into my life. your advice is greatly appreciated and what you did is exactly what i plan to do... if it even gets to that. right now im just TRYING TO push it out of my mind, focus on getting in shape and living my life... he has that girlfriend anyway and even WHEN he comes back (because he will because Im that awesome lol) i will not jump for joy.. he will however have to jump through hoops to get me again. I will definitly follow your lead, and when and/if the time comes, ill message you for more advice ok ?? lol 0 -
Trust me - in 20 years (sooner if you are really lucky) you will be thinking 'what the hell was I thinking???'0
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I was in almost the exact same situation; we were one another's first and only everything, and after four and a half years, there were just too many things wrong and so much we needed to experience on our own that staying together was no longer an option. It's hard, especially if you still have feelings for him (I know I do for my guy--nowhere near the magnitude they once were, so easily ignored, but annoying), but take the following statement to heart: "Forget what you feel and remember what you deserve." And obviously, you deserve better! Live your life, ignore the oblivion out of him, and if he wants to come back, make sure he has to fight for it.
Stay strong! (: 0 -
Trust me - in 20 years (sooner if you are really lucky) you will be thinking 'what the hell was I thinking???'
lmao maybe... but that seems like a long time... im only 22 now lol0 -
I'm long-time married, but one thing I think would make dating simpler and more straight forward: When considering someone new make sure he has ended one thing, before starting another. It's NOT a good sign that he is texting you while involved with another woman. This may sound old-fashioned, but it's a bit of insurance against being hurt.0
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I'm long-time married, but one thing I think would make dating simpler and more straight forward: When considering someone new make sure he has ended one thing, before starting another. It's NOT a good sign that he is texting you while involved with another woman. This may sound old-fashioned, but it's a bit of insurance against being hurt.
screw the fear of "being hurt" sitting around wondering "what if" is much worse.0
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