Did she just say that?

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Replies

  • DianaJaneD
    DianaJaneD Posts: 157 Member
    I don't know if this helps, but I noticed you said Mom's "always been there for me". That makes me think she wouldn't purposely hurt you. The older my Dad gets, the more I try to let things he might say wrong just roll off. I know he loves me. Your Mom has seen her daughter change greatly over the last months and maybe that makes her insecure. Maybe it would help to express to her how that made you feel and why you feel absolutely healthy and great the way you are now. Hugs to you!
  • ItsTerriC
    ItsTerriC Posts: 436 Member
    Why discount all the positive comments to focus on the one negative one?

    Because the negative one came from the person who she cares a lot about ... her MOTHER.. duh

    This is so true. One negative comment from someone you love can make you feel horrible and undo all of the nice things they, or anyone, might say.

    You do look great, and I'm sure your mom thinks so too.
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
    You look great. And I can so relate to a mom who can hardly give a compliment... my mother was great at back-handed compliments and was very selfish. She also had some major issues to deal with in life. She's dead now and I'd love to hear even an insult from her... LOL. Anyway... you look wonderful, you should be very proud of yourself.

    Moms' comments hurt the worst, especially for daughters, I'd imagine. I'm not a mom yet but I can imagine it's going to be a bond like no other... Maybe they feel they can say things and we won't take it to heart?? I don't know... Of course we take it to heart :-)

    Keep doing what you're doing no matter who says what. You look great!
  • redheadc2
    redheadc2 Posts: 29 Member
    My mother has done something similar. It took me stating into her eyes that this was my battle that I am not going to listen to her say I can't win the battle or anything negative and that if she continued I would not see her again...

    needless to say this was a month after her comment and I had calmed down quite a bit. 6 months latter and she finally said to me. I understand what you mean now and support you every step of your way.

    Congratulations on your weight loss! Keep the battle going as the hardest part is battling it with family attacking too.

    (by the way my mother has since started her weight loss journey, because of my modeling the behavior)
  • FrosJennBug
    FrosJennBug Posts: 4
    I understand how you feel. My MIL has tremendous self esteem issues when it comes to her weight. Her mother would even tell her the same "saggy skin" thing, that she looked better when her skin was a little more full. I lost my baby weight with my first baby back in 2006, and my MIL told me I was scary skinny. I weighed 118 lbs, just two lbs less than prepregnancy. At 5'0, I actually could have weighed less and still been perfectly healthy. I tell her now that my goal weight is to get from 155 to 120. She brings up how scary skinny I was and I want to punch her in her face. She's two inches taller than me and will starve herself (calories below 1000, no exercise) down to 105 lbs, but I'm scary skinny at 120? Grrr.

    Sorry about that. I guess I needed to vent, hehe.

    ~Jenn
  • marcia724
    marcia724 Posts: 180 Member
    Amazing! My mom is the exact same way! She is heavy, and always has been. She thinks that people who try to stay thin, watch what they eat and exercise are vein. She has told me that I'm too thin and my face doesn't look right...when I'm at a great weight and super happy with myself! You just have to try and shut her words out. She's jealous! I know that's why my mom says the same thing.
  • FitRodr
    FitRodr Posts: 353 Member
    Why discount all the positive comments to focus on the one negative one?

    Because the negative one came from the person who she cares a lot about ... her MOTHER.. duh

    Thank you exactly
  • FitRodr
    FitRodr Posts: 353 Member
    I used to tell my kids, sometimes the sun is bright and shining but you can't see it thru the clouds. That's the way I've felt since her comments. Truly everyone else that's seen me is very positive. I feel great! I look in the mirror and see hard work & dedication. It's not as easy as not talking to her anymore but I will have a conversation with her when the time is appropriate.

    I've accomplished so much this year & she'll just have to get used to it. I respect her and need her to respect my choice to be healthy.

    Thanks for all of the comments... several different ways to approach it and I feel better after venting to my MFP friends.
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