Parents with no time

Jessica0982 · January 2012

I'm 29 yrs old, married 6 years next week, with a 5 yr old boy.

My husband doesn't do a damn thing to help me. Ever. I'm basically a single parent and I hope nobody takes offense to me putting it that way. But I do it all on my own.

With that said, I was planning to sign up at the gym again. Last time I did this it kicked my butt because it meant getting up at 4 am and relying on my husband to drop our son off at preschool. My husband is lazy and prefers to sleep (who doesn't) and I have no faith that he'll get our son to school on time.

However, I don't pick up my son until 5:30 pm because I work all day too. So if I hit the gym for even an hour it means we don't get home until 7 pm. (The gym has a daycare) Then to cook him dinner, get him showered, then bedtime stories and bed, it's past 9 pm. I have tried like HELL to make that happen but I'm all stinky and sweaty from the gym and can't shower until 10 pm. By then I'm ready to crash myself.

I'm just looking for anyone who is going through this or has been through this. I don't want to make excuses for why I can't hit the gym. I WANT to go. And I'm paying for the darn thing...I want to make it work.

Weekends are always an option but daycare hours are crap on weekends. I'm an early bird. Working out at home is a possibility but truth is...I'll see laundry and want to put it away. Dishes and want to clean up. My son will want to play checkers.

Anyone going through this and have advice to share? I'm trying, for once in my life, to put ME first. Because what good am I to my 5 yr old if Mommy isn't happy and healthy?

bug1114 · January 2012

My son is 13 months, and I make time after he goes to bed to work out. I'm either in the garage on the elliptical or doing a 30 minute work out tape of Jillian Michaels. I also do most of the work around the house and the transporting of my son to daycare. After his bed time is the only time I've found that I can fit working out in. I only work out 30-40 minutes a day, but it works for me. Do you have any tapes that you could do? I really like Jillian's tapes, they are quick, and you get an awesome workout with them.

phoebe2488 · January 2012

I have a one year old and although my husband does help out, there still isn't much time. I try to workout the days I can when my son goes to bed. I have been doing the Jillian Michael's tapes as well. The 30DS and Ripped in 30 are good. The Boost Metabolism one is good too, however it's more like 45 minutes compared to the others that are 24. When it is warmer weather, I have a jogging stroller and I go walking/running with my son. My husband goes along as well. Of course I am in Ohio and it's cold so we don't go outside to do that. Then, on the weekends I tend to try to fit in longer workouts when my son takes a nap or while my husband watches him.

Hope this helps...it definitely is a struggle.

asyouseefit · January 2012

Get your husband to help you. Seriously, you're not doing your son a favor by setting such an example... There's no reason why you should take care of everything.

MrsCupCakeBoyle · January 2012

i havve 3 children my 5yr old is type 1 diabetic and i make time to do it soon as there in bed im finished by 8.
then i have to blood test my 5yr old do his school lunch get the ironing done for school.

if you really want it you will make time for it.

boys4rmine · January 2012

I am a mom of four boys 11, 9, 7 and 5. I also am a Kindergarten teacher, so busy is my life

I just got a kettlebell (under $20) and do the workout at home....20 min! One website says
"Every kettlebell exercise is a ballistic (explosive) whole body exercise. It's cardio and weights at the same time. Remember those days when you had to walk on the treadmill for an hour, then work the weight machines for 30 minutes to get in your cardio and weight training? No more. Working with kettlebells 20 minutes a day, your cardio and weight training is done!"
It is really amazing and after five days of doing this I am seeing definition in my arms, abs (didn't know I had those after having kids) and my legs and glutes.
Anyways, Every little bit counts is my point. Maybe kettlebells is the thing that would work for you. They are totable (take them to work for your lunch break) or get a little one for your son and he can do it with you

Hope this helps

website for the workout is http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/kettlebell-workout

chrissym78 · January 2012

I can totally relate. I have 3 kids, ages 11, 8 and 3. My youngest started preschool this year (only 3 hours a day, 3 days a week) and I thought that would make it easier and give me time since I am a SAHM. However it just made it harder. I have NO time. I run after them all day it feels like. We have evening activities at least 4 nights a week and ball games on Saturday. Next year will be nuts too b/c they'll all 3 be in different schools. The time she is at preschool is usually taken up by trips to the store, housework, the neverending mountain of laundry and dishes, appointments... etc etc.... I feel like there is no time that's just for me and if I do take time for more than a shower I am being selfish. So yes, I completely understand.

gipperakh · January 2012

I'm kinda in the same boat, except the father to my children and I aren't together and they go to his house on the weekends so I have plenty of time then...but during the week...I get up at 3:30am to get myself and kids ready for me to drop them off at their grandparents and for me to be at work by 5am, work til 1:30 and 2 days out of the week I have school til 7pm, so on those days I never get to see my kids til i pick them up and go home, which is usually by 7:45-8, by then I have to go through their backpacks,pack lunches, get school clothes ready for the next day, feed them if they were too picky to eat at grandma's, get them bathed and ready for bed, then shower and get myself ready for bed and to do it all over again the next day...on the days I don't have school, I have about an hour and a half before I have to pick them up from school, which is usually when I try to run errands, I guess I could fit some type exercise in there on those days...Sorry, for rambling. My suggestion, dont pay for the gym, find things to do WITH your kid that's fun and can be counted as exercise. Could play some games on the wii or kinect together, jumping jack competitions, get an exercise ball for you and your kid, nature walks when it's nice out...

adamsonam · January 2012

I have a one year old and although my husband does help out, there still isn't much time. I try to workout the days I can when my son goes to bed. I have been doing the Jillian Michael's tapes as well. The 30DS and Ripped in 30 are good. The Boost Metabolism one is good too, however it's more like 45 minutes compared to the others that are 24. When it is warmer weather, I have a jogging stroller and I go walking/running with my son. My husband goes along as well. Of course I am in Ohio and it's cold so we don't go outside to do that. Then, on the weekends I tend to try to fit in longer workouts when my son takes a nap or while my husband watches him.

Hope this helps...it definitely is a struggle.

I am a single Mom and I have to agree with this post. Naps and bedtime for my 3yo are about the only time I get to do anything unless I can fit some walking in at work. I also live in Ohio so that walking at work is getting harder and harder to do. My cable company has the fitness network on "On Demand" and I find a ton of great workout videos for free there. I personally love the walk at home videos and I have zumba and other workout "games" for my Wii that help. I have also gotten my daughter some dancing games for the Wii and hoping that we can do those together which should make it "easier/funner" lol

MaximalLife · January 2012

Been through all that with 5 kids myself.

You just need to make fitness a priority and just do it, letting your husband take up the slack or at the very least knowing your boy will be safe at home with him'.

And once he realizes you won't bail out your own plans to come to the rescue, that will get him off his butt.
Right now he has you trained well.

It's time for YOU to train him.

ccbing · January 2012

During the work week all I really have time for is to walk on my lunch break. 15 mins here, 22 mins there. It will all add up. I plan on doing the more time consuming stuff on the weekends. I am fortunate to have a husband who is willing to watch our girls when needed. He is a runner so he knows childcare goes both ways for us both to be able to reach our goals. I'm sorry you are having this struggle. I know for a fact you are not the only one. :flowerforyou:

gipperakh · January 2012

I am a mom of four boys 11, 9, 7 and 5. I also am a Kindergarten teacher, so busy is my life I just got a kettlebell (under $20) and do the workout at home....20 min! One website says
"Every kettlebell exercise is a ballistic (explosive) whole body exercise. It's cardio and weights at the same time. Remember those days when you had to walk on the treadmill for an hour, then work the weight machines for 30 minutes to get in your cardio and weight training? No more. Working with kettlebells 20 minutes a day, your cardio and weight training is done!"
It is really amazing and after five days of doing this I am seeing definition in my arms, abs (didn't know I had those after having kids) and my legs and glutes.
Anyways, Every little bit counts is my point. Maybe kettlebells is the thing that would work for you. They are totable (take them to work for your lunch break) or get a little one for your son and he can do it with you
Hope this helps

website for the workout is http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/kettlebell-workout

I keep thinking about getting a kettlebell but I end up forgetting about it. bump bump bump!

teagan911 · January 2012

I am 28, mother off 4 (all under 10 yrs. old), AND my husband is halfway through a 6 month deployment. So yes, I do EVERY single thing. We live in Japan so my options are limited. I have lost 27 lbs. since he left in September. I decided I was NOT going to be that big when he came home. I workout every single day for a minimum of 60 minutes.

Yes, it's hard, but you just do it. I always asked myself the same questions. It's not fun, you just bite your tongue, and push through everything.

jedi9393 · January 2012

I agree asyouseefit. There is no way my husband wouldnt help when he was healthy. Trust me, its a bad example. My husband had a mom that did everything and a husband that did nothing and I had to put my foot down and tell him I aint his mother. He didnt know how to cook, clean, nothing! I had to teach my husband how to do everything. He is lazy too, but I had to break him in. He helped me with almost everything. Especially our son. He loves taking care of him. He did more of the day to day stuff when he was an infant than I did! I promise you my son will be independent and self sufficient so his wife or husband doesnt have the pain of making him do it!!! I cant believe women put up with men like this. Unless you are a stay home mom then maybe...maybe! But If he and I both work then no way, no day. Not this girl. I can be by myself if I wanted to be a single parent!

My husband is in the ICU and has been there for over a month due to heart failure. I have 20 month old and work full time mon-friday. If I can work out anyone can. I work out 5-6 days a week. I am struggling financially, emotionally, but I still work out and eat right. I do have the luxury of a live in sitter who is my niece.

Here is what I do:

Mon-Friday I get up at 4:15 am and hit the gym. I have be at work at 6am. I get off at 3:30 to be home cause my sitter has another job she has to got to at 4:pm. On the weekends, my baby goes to bed around 8:30pm. I take a nap. My niece gets home around 10:30pm. I then go to the hospital to visit my husband either from 11pm-2am or I sleep untill 3:00 am and go visit from 3am-8am. I get home just in time for my son who wakes at 9am. Since I cant take JR to the gym we go for a walk for an hour. I pop him in his stroller and we are off. However, I'm in texas and it is 60 or 70 degrees here. Or jr takes a nap around 2pm. So I get my barbells out and lift weights and do callistenics.

popchex · January 2012

I'm a mother of 2, and my oldest has to be homeschooled due to special needs, We also have our own business, which my husband has taken the brunt of since I can't work now.

My advice is to get something for at home. My exercise physiologist said that for my particular needs a stationary bike would be the best thing. We have a hand-me-down recumbent bike waiting to be assembled now! This way I can hop on it when my son is engaged in a solitary activity for school, or while he's doing his own OT exercises nearby.

I know my cousin at one point had three gym memberships (yes, she's rich, lol) - one near her house, one near her office and one near her babysitter, so she could hit it whenever she had time. After STILL struggling to get there each day, she installed a weight machine and a stair master in her office at home, which overlooks the play area, so she AND the kids can be at home, but she can still get her workout in.

PaPenguin · January 2012

Forget the gym. You have a 2 full time jobs; the one you get paid for and raising your kid. Maybe a 3rd job taking care of your husband. You'll get enough exercise doing those things without adding the stress of trying to find more time in the day than there is. Try to eat healthy, don't smoke, etc.

newbeetler · January 2012

I feel for you and can not believe that your husband is missing out on this time with his own Son.

I am a father of twins. One of which has cerebral palsey.

My wife works 4 days a week and has friday off where she does housework, shopping etc. My wife is my god send as I work an hours commute each way from home and yet 2 days a week she puts the girls to bed on their own so I can go to the gym after work. Although if I can get away from the office one time (Rarely) I can get to the gym and be home in time to read the bed time story.

However I make sure I am home for 8pm or just after.

The wife does nothing after the girls have gone to bed on the days I have gone to the gym. At least I tell her to do nothing. She still carries on.

I also do dinner when I get home so giving her an hour or so to do what she wants to.

Its all about give and take.

We also take the girls to Swimming lesson's on Sunday's. This is lessons where me and the wife are in the pool with them so 30 minutes of swimming with them throwing them into the pool etc. A great workout in its own right.

Maybe a family trip to the pool once a week. Little one learns to swim. Hubby gets quality time with son who he sounds like he may not be getting and you can swim laps or play with them both getting a fun workout at the same time.

Have you thought about getting up earlier then hubby on a Saturday or sunday and heading to the gym. You don't need to worry about him getting little one to school. Just doing them breakfast.

It gives him some quality time with his son. Coming from myself who barly speaks to my father any more as he was a work aholic and when he was not at work he was sleeping on the sofa.

So at 35 I don't know my father. Hence why I like the quality time with my kids and if my wife wants to go to the gym or go for a walk or whatever there is no problem with it.

I hope you can find a happy medium.

jadimasi79 · January 2012

One thing I find helpful is I will cook a lot of meals over the wekend and then keep some in the freezer and some in the fridge so I have time to spend with my daughter or even better let her watch an episode of Caillou so I can get a quick shower in after being sweatty from working out and then picking her up from daycare (Luckily daycare is open until 6:30pm).

amfaery · January 2012

Same situation here, actually just got divorced might as well be single

Sorry everyone I am happier :drinker:

I bought sutff to work out at home--- beachbody programs (I am not a coach not trying to sell them) Insanity/P90X/turbo jam

I am in the best shapre now since my early 20's

I get up a t 4am before the kdis have my coffee and do it, I could not consistently get to the gym with the added drive time changing blah blah

Tjarvi · January 2012

I'm 29 yrs old, married 6 years next week, with a 5 yr old boy.

My husband doesn't do a damn thing to help me. Ever. I'm basically a single parent and I hope nobody takes offense to me putting it that way. But I do it all on my own.

With that said, I was planning to sign up at the gym again. Last time I did this it kicked my butt because it meant getting up at 4 am and relying on my husband to drop our son off at preschool. My husband is lazy and prefers to sleep (who doesn't) and I have no faith that he'll get our son to school on time.

However, I don't pick up my son until 5:30 pm because I work all day too. So if I hit the gym for even an hour it means we don't get home until 7 pm. (The gym has a daycare) Then to cook him dinner, get him showered, then bedtime stories and bed, it's past 9 pm. I have tried like HELL to make that happen but I'm all stinky and sweaty from the gym and can't shower until 10 pm. By then I'm ready to crash myself.

I'm just looking for anyone who is going through this or has been through this. I don't want to make excuses for why I can't hit the gym. I WANT to go. And I'm paying for the darn thing...I want to make it work.

Weekends are always an option but daycare hours are crap on weekends. I'm an early bird. Working out at home is a possibility but truth is...I'll see laundry and want to put it away. Dishes and want to clean up. My son will want to play checkers.

Anyone going through this and have advice to share? I'm trying, for once in my life, to put ME first. Because what good am I to my 5 yr old if Mommy isn't happy and healthy?

What good are you to your boy if mommy is not there? =( If you are not there until 5:30 that is already a whole day. I think you are doing him an injustice taking him from one daycare to put him into another. Poor boy.

I suggest buying wii fit or Just dance or something and play it with him @ home. You can watch tv and turn it into a game that during the show you fold laundry but during commercials you do jumping jacks, squats, push ups, lunges or whatever.
You will have plenty of time in the future to add a fitness routine. I say these precious years with your boy trump ALL.

If I worked full time, I would insist my husband did 1/2 of the household responsibilities . That is not fair. I would change that in 2012 for sure. I say this with empathy, I feel for you & you boy. Best of luck.

JustMichelleB · January 2012

Stop enabling your husband. There are a whole lotta issues going on here besides your exercising that sound unhealthy and toxic.

I work f/t and have 2 kids (aged 5, 7). I don't belong to a gym, b/c i know I wouldn't go. I commute 2h/day and can't imagine going to the gym at 4a or 8p.

So, I have a treadmill and Beachbody workouts (P90X, P90X+, Chalean Extreme). I work out every day for the most part after feeding the kids dinner (I wait for my H to come home at 7:30, I'm done working out and we eat then). When it's nice out (and when it's light enough, like mid-summer), I do get up early to run and I try to go for a run on the weekends.

You need to make the time and not make excuses. Everyone is busy.

Parents with no time

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