Parents with no time

Jessica0982
Jessica0982 Posts: 209 Member
edited October 7 in Motivation and Support
I'm 29 yrs old, married 6 years next week, with a 5 yr old boy.

My husband doesn't do a damn thing to help me. Ever. I'm basically a single parent and I hope nobody takes offense to me putting it that way. But I do it all on my own.

With that said, I was planning to sign up at the gym again. Last time I did this it kicked my butt because it meant getting up at 4 am and relying on my husband to drop our son off at preschool. My husband is lazy and prefers to sleep (who doesn't) and I have no faith that he'll get our son to school on time.

However, I don't pick up my son until 5:30 pm because I work all day too. So if I hit the gym for even an hour it means we don't get home until 7 pm. (The gym has a daycare) Then to cook him dinner, get him showered, then bedtime stories and bed, it's past 9 pm. I have tried like HELL to make that happen but I'm all stinky and sweaty from the gym and can't shower until 10 pm. By then I'm ready to crash myself.

I'm just looking for anyone who is going through this or has been through this. I don't want to make excuses for why I can't hit the gym. I WANT to go. And I'm paying for the darn thing...I want to make it work.

Weekends are always an option but daycare hours are crap on weekends. I'm an early bird. Working out at home is a possibility but truth is...I'll see laundry and want to put it away. Dishes and want to clean up. My son will want to play checkers.

Anyone going through this and have advice to share? I'm trying, for once in my life, to put ME first. Because what good am I to my 5 yr old if Mommy isn't happy and healthy?
«1

Replies

  • bug1114
    bug1114 Posts: 268 Member
    My son is 13 months, and I make time after he goes to bed to work out. I'm either in the garage on the elliptical or doing a 30 minute work out tape of Jillian Michaels. I also do most of the work around the house and the transporting of my son to daycare. After his bed time is the only time I've found that I can fit working out in. I only work out 30-40 minutes a day, but it works for me. Do you have any tapes that you could do? I really like Jillian's tapes, they are quick, and you get an awesome workout with them.
  • phoebe2488
    phoebe2488 Posts: 106 Member
    I have a one year old and although my husband does help out, there still isn't much time. I try to workout the days I can when my son goes to bed. I have been doing the Jillian Michael's tapes as well. The 30DS and Ripped in 30 are good. The Boost Metabolism one is good too, however it's more like 45 minutes compared to the others that are 24. When it is warmer weather, I have a jogging stroller and I go walking/running with my son. My husband goes along as well. Of course I am in Ohio and it's cold so we don't go outside to do that. Then, on the weekends I tend to try to fit in longer workouts when my son takes a nap or while my husband watches him.

    Hope this helps...it definitely is a struggle.
  • asyouseefit
    asyouseefit Posts: 1,265 Member
    Get your husband to help you. Seriously, you're not doing your son a favor by setting such an example... There's no reason why you should take care of everything.
  • MrsCupCakeBoyle
    MrsCupCakeBoyle Posts: 259 Member
    i havve 3 children my 5yr old is type 1 diabetic and i make time to do it soon as there in bed im finished by 8.
    then i have to blood test my 5yr old do his school lunch get the ironing done for school.

    if you really want it you will make time for it.
  • I am a mom of four boys 11, 9, 7 and 5. I also am a Kindergarten teacher, so busy is my life ;) I just got a kettlebell (under $20) and do the workout at home....20 min! One website says
    "Every kettlebell exercise is a ballistic (explosive) whole body exercise. It's cardio and weights at the same time. Remember those days when you had to walk on the treadmill for an hour, then work the weight machines for 30 minutes to get in your cardio and weight training? No more. Working with kettlebells 20 minutes a day, your cardio and weight training is done!"
    It is really amazing and after five days of doing this I am seeing definition in my arms, abs (didn't know I had those after having kids) and my legs and glutes.
    Anyways, Every little bit counts is my point. Maybe kettlebells is the thing that would work for you. They are totable (take them to work for your lunch break) or get a little one for your son and he can do it with you :)
    Hope this helps :)

    website for the workout is http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/kettlebell-workout
  • chrissym78
    chrissym78 Posts: 628 Member
    I can totally relate. I have 3 kids, ages 11, 8 and 3. My youngest started preschool this year (only 3 hours a day, 3 days a week) and I thought that would make it easier and give me time since I am a SAHM. However it just made it harder. I have NO time. I run after them all day it feels like. We have evening activities at least 4 nights a week and ball games on Saturday. Next year will be nuts too b/c they'll all 3 be in different schools. The time she is at preschool is usually taken up by trips to the store, housework, the neverending mountain of laundry and dishes, appointments... etc etc.... I feel like there is no time that's just for me and if I do take time for more than a shower I am being selfish. So yes, I completely understand.
  • gipperakh
    gipperakh Posts: 102 Member
    I'm kinda in the same boat, except the father to my children and I aren't together and they go to his house on the weekends so I have plenty of time then...but during the week...I get up at 3:30am to get myself and kids ready for me to drop them off at their grandparents and for me to be at work by 5am, work til 1:30 and 2 days out of the week I have school til 7pm, so on those days I never get to see my kids til i pick them up and go home, which is usually by 7:45-8, by then I have to go through their backpacks,pack lunches, get school clothes ready for the next day, feed them if they were too picky to eat at grandma's, get them bathed and ready for bed, then shower and get myself ready for bed and to do it all over again the next day...on the days I don't have school, I have about an hour and a half before I have to pick them up from school, which is usually when I try to run errands, I guess I could fit some type exercise in there on those days...Sorry, for rambling. My suggestion, dont pay for the gym, find things to do WITH your kid that's fun and can be counted as exercise. Could play some games on the wii or kinect together, jumping jack competitions, get an exercise ball for you and your kid, nature walks when it's nice out...
  • adamsonam
    adamsonam Posts: 127
    I have a one year old and although my husband does help out, there still isn't much time. I try to workout the days I can when my son goes to bed. I have been doing the Jillian Michael's tapes as well. The 30DS and Ripped in 30 are good. The Boost Metabolism one is good too, however it's more like 45 minutes compared to the others that are 24. When it is warmer weather, I have a jogging stroller and I go walking/running with my son. My husband goes along as well. Of course I am in Ohio and it's cold so we don't go outside to do that. Then, on the weekends I tend to try to fit in longer workouts when my son takes a nap or while my husband watches him.

    Hope this helps...it definitely is a struggle.

    I am a single Mom and I have to agree with this post. Naps and bedtime for my 3yo are about the only time I get to do anything unless I can fit some walking in at work. I also live in Ohio so that walking at work is getting harder and harder to do. My cable company has the fitness network on "On Demand" and I find a ton of great workout videos for free there. I personally love the walk at home videos and I have zumba and other workout "games" for my Wii that help. I have also gotten my daughter some dancing games for the Wii and hoping that we can do those together which should make it "easier/funner" lol
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    Been through all that with 5 kids myself.

    You just need to make fitness a priority and just do it, letting your husband take up the slack or at the very least knowing your boy will be safe at home with him'.

    And once he realizes you won't bail out your own plans to come to the rescue, that will get him off his butt.
    Right now he has you trained well.

    It's time for YOU to train him.
  • ccbing
    ccbing Posts: 162 Member
    During the work week all I really have time for is to walk on my lunch break. 15 mins here, 22 mins there. It will all add up. I plan on doing the more time consuming stuff on the weekends. I am fortunate to have a husband who is willing to watch our girls when needed. He is a runner so he knows childcare goes both ways for us both to be able to reach our goals. I'm sorry you are having this struggle. I know for a fact you are not the only one. :flowerforyou:
  • gipperakh
    gipperakh Posts: 102 Member
    I am a mom of four boys 11, 9, 7 and 5. I also am a Kindergarten teacher, so busy is my life ;) I just got a kettlebell (under $20) and do the workout at home....20 min! One website says
    "Every kettlebell exercise is a ballistic (explosive) whole body exercise. It's cardio and weights at the same time. Remember those days when you had to walk on the treadmill for an hour, then work the weight machines for 30 minutes to get in your cardio and weight training? No more. Working with kettlebells 20 minutes a day, your cardio and weight training is done!"
    It is really amazing and after five days of doing this I am seeing definition in my arms, abs (didn't know I had those after having kids) and my legs and glutes.
    Anyways, Every little bit counts is my point. Maybe kettlebells is the thing that would work for you. They are totable (take them to work for your lunch break) or get a little one for your son and he can do it with you :)
    Hope this helps :)

    website for the workout is http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/kettlebell-workout

    I keep thinking about getting a kettlebell but I end up forgetting about it. bump bump bump!
  • I am 28, mother off 4 (all under 10 yrs. old), AND my husband is halfway through a 6 month deployment. So yes, I do EVERY single thing. We live in Japan so my options are limited. I have lost 27 lbs. since he left in September. I decided I was NOT going to be that big when he came home. I workout every single day for a minimum of 60 minutes.

    Yes, it's hard, but you just do it. I always asked myself the same questions. It's not fun, you just bite your tongue, and push through everything.
  • jedi9393
    jedi9393 Posts: 121
    I agree asyouseefit. There is no way my husband wouldnt help when he was healthy. Trust me, its a bad example. My husband had a mom that did everything and a husband that did nothing and I had to put my foot down and tell him I aint his mother. He didnt know how to cook, clean, nothing! I had to teach my husband how to do everything. He is lazy too, but I had to break him in. He helped me with almost everything. Especially our son. He loves taking care of him. He did more of the day to day stuff when he was an infant than I did! I promise you my son will be independent and self sufficient so his wife or husband doesnt have the pain of making him do it!!! I cant believe women put up with men like this. Unless you are a stay home mom then maybe...maybe! But If he and I both work then no way, no day. Not this girl. I can be by myself if I wanted to be a single parent!

    My husband is in the ICU and has been there for over a month due to heart failure. I have 20 month old and work full time mon-friday. If I can work out anyone can. I work out 5-6 days a week. I am struggling financially, emotionally, but I still work out and eat right. I do have the luxury of a live in sitter who is my niece.

    Here is what I do:

    Mon-Friday I get up at 4:15 am and hit the gym. I have be at work at 6am. I get off at 3:30 to be home cause my sitter has another job she has to got to at 4:pm. On the weekends, my baby goes to bed around 8:30pm. I take a nap. My niece gets home around 10:30pm. I then go to the hospital to visit my husband either from 11pm-2am or I sleep untill 3:00 am and go visit from 3am-8am. I get home just in time for my son who wakes at 9am. Since I cant take JR to the gym we go for a walk for an hour. I pop him in his stroller and we are off. However, I'm in texas and it is 60 or 70 degrees here. Or jr takes a nap around 2pm. So I get my barbells out and lift weights and do callistenics.
  • popchex
    popchex Posts: 52 Member
    I'm a mother of 2, and my oldest has to be homeschooled due to special needs, We also have our own business, which my husband has taken the brunt of since I can't work now.

    My advice is to get something for at home. My exercise physiologist said that for my particular needs a stationary bike would be the best thing. We have a hand-me-down recumbent bike waiting to be assembled now! This way I can hop on it when my son is engaged in a solitary activity for school, or while he's doing his own OT exercises nearby.

    I know my cousin at one point had three gym memberships (yes, she's rich, lol) - one near her house, one near her office and one near her babysitter, so she could hit it whenever she had time. After STILL struggling to get there each day, she installed a weight machine and a stair master in her office at home, which overlooks the play area, so she AND the kids can be at home, but she can still get her workout in.
  • PaPenguin
    PaPenguin Posts: 19 Member
    Forget the gym. You have a 2 full time jobs; the one you get paid for and raising your kid. Maybe a 3rd job taking care of your husband. You'll get enough exercise doing those things without adding the stress of trying to find more time in the day than there is. Try to eat healthy, don't smoke, etc.
  • newbeetler
    newbeetler Posts: 197 Member
    I feel for you and can not believe that your husband is missing out on this time with his own Son.

    I am a father of twins. One of which has cerebral palsey.

    My wife works 4 days a week and has friday off where she does housework, shopping etc. My wife is my god send as I work an hours commute each way from home and yet 2 days a week she puts the girls to bed on their own so I can go to the gym after work. Although if I can get away from the office one time (Rarely) I can get to the gym and be home in time to read the bed time story.

    However I make sure I am home for 8pm or just after.

    The wife does nothing after the girls have gone to bed on the days I have gone to the gym. At least I tell her to do nothing. She still carries on.

    I also do dinner when I get home so giving her an hour or so to do what she wants to.

    Its all about give and take.

    We also take the girls to Swimming lesson's on Sunday's. This is lessons where me and the wife are in the pool with them so 30 minutes of swimming with them throwing them into the pool etc. A great workout in its own right.

    Maybe a family trip to the pool once a week. Little one learns to swim. Hubby gets quality time with son who he sounds like he may not be getting and you can swim laps or play with them both getting a fun workout at the same time.

    Have you thought about getting up earlier then hubby on a Saturday or sunday and heading to the gym. You don't need to worry about him getting little one to school. Just doing them breakfast.

    It gives him some quality time with his son. Coming from myself who barly speaks to my father any more as he was a work aholic and when he was not at work he was sleeping on the sofa.

    So at 35 I don't know my father. Hence why I like the quality time with my kids and if my wife wants to go to the gym or go for a walk or whatever there is no problem with it.

    I hope you can find a happy medium.
  • jadimasi79
    jadimasi79 Posts: 27 Member
    One thing I find helpful is I will cook a lot of meals over the wekend and then keep some in the freezer and some in the fridge so I have time to spend with my daughter or even better let her watch an episode of Caillou so I can get a quick shower in after being sweatty from working out and then picking her up from daycare (Luckily daycare is open until 6:30pm).
  • amfaery
    amfaery Posts: 267 Member
    Same situation here, actually just got divorced might as well be single :) Sorry everyone I am happier :drinker:

    I bought sutff to work out at home--- beachbody programs (I am not a coach not trying to sell them) Insanity/P90X/turbo jam

    I am in the best shapre now since my early 20's

    I get up a t 4am before the kdis have my coffee and do it, I could not consistently get to the gym with the added drive time changing blah blah
  • Tjarvi
    Tjarvi Posts: 53
    I'm 29 yrs old, married 6 years next week, with a 5 yr old boy.

    My husband doesn't do a damn thing to help me. Ever. I'm basically a single parent and I hope nobody takes offense to me putting it that way. But I do it all on my own.

    With that said, I was planning to sign up at the gym again. Last time I did this it kicked my butt because it meant getting up at 4 am and relying on my husband to drop our son off at preschool. My husband is lazy and prefers to sleep (who doesn't) and I have no faith that he'll get our son to school on time.

    However, I don't pick up my son until 5:30 pm because I work all day too. So if I hit the gym for even an hour it means we don't get home until 7 pm. (The gym has a daycare) Then to cook him dinner, get him showered, then bedtime stories and bed, it's past 9 pm. I have tried like HELL to make that happen but I'm all stinky and sweaty from the gym and can't shower until 10 pm. By then I'm ready to crash myself.

    I'm just looking for anyone who is going through this or has been through this. I don't want to make excuses for why I can't hit the gym. I WANT to go. And I'm paying for the darn thing...I want to make it work.

    Weekends are always an option but daycare hours are crap on weekends. I'm an early bird. Working out at home is a possibility but truth is...I'll see laundry and want to put it away. Dishes and want to clean up. My son will want to play checkers.

    Anyone going through this and have advice to share? I'm trying, for once in my life, to put ME first. Because what good am I to my 5 yr old if Mommy isn't happy and healthy?

    What good are you to your boy if mommy is not there? =( If you are not there until 5:30 that is already a whole day. I think you are doing him an injustice taking him from one daycare to put him into another. Poor boy.

    I suggest buying wii fit or Just dance or something and play it with him @ home. You can watch tv and turn it into a game that during the show you fold laundry but during commercials you do jumping jacks, squats, push ups, lunges or whatever.
    You will have plenty of time in the future to add a fitness routine. I say these precious years with your boy trump ALL.

    If I worked full time, I would insist my husband did 1/2 of the household responsibilities . That is not fair. I would change that in 2012 for sure. I say this with empathy, I feel for you & you boy. Best of luck.
  • Stop enabling your husband. There are a whole lotta issues going on here besides your exercising that sound unhealthy and toxic.

    I work f/t and have 2 kids (aged 5, 7). I don't belong to a gym, b/c i know I wouldn't go. I commute 2h/day and can't imagine going to the gym at 4a or 8p.

    So, I have a treadmill and Beachbody workouts (P90X, P90X+, Chalean Extreme). I work out every day for the most part after feeding the kids dinner (I wait for my H to come home at 7:30, I'm done working out and we eat then). When it's nice out (and when it's light enough, like mid-summer), I do get up early to run and I try to go for a run on the weekends.

    You need to make the time and not make excuses. Everyone is busy.
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 909 Member
    I am a mom of four boys 11, 9, 7 and 5. I also am a Kindergarten teacher, so busy is my life ;) I just got a kettlebell (under $20) and do the workout at home....20 min! One website says
    "Every kettlebell exercise is a ballistic (explosive) whole body exercise. It's cardio and weights at the same time. Remember those days when you had to walk on the treadmill for an hour, then work the weight machines for 30 minutes to get in your cardio and weight training? No more. Working with kettlebells 20 minutes a day, your cardio and weight training is done!"
    It is really amazing and after five days of doing this I am seeing definition in my arms, abs (didn't know I had those after having kids) and my legs and glutes.
    Anyways, Every little bit counts is my point. Maybe kettlebells is the thing that would work for you. They are totable (take them to work for your lunch break) or get a little one for your son and he can do it with you :)
    Hope this helps :)


    website for the workout is http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/kettlebell-workout

    i agree with this!! I do kettlebells as well and have really good results.. you can see pics on my profile if you want, and i usually only do between 12-40mins of it.. Anyways, OP have you considered going to the track at the school or a park? Your little one can play and you can walk or run the track. This works for me.. gives the kids a break before homework and gives me a break to!! =) Good luck you can do this! Dont let anybody hold you back, make up your mind to do it and go!
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
    Have you tried "talking" to your husband? telling him how you feel?
    you never know it might just work..
    if not a swift kick in the baulbauls(well it is christmas)! :noway:
  • TurtleRunnerNC
    TurtleRunnerNC Posts: 751 Member
    I feel your pain. I have been married for 20 years. My husband does very little to help around the house,except cook dinner. I work full time each week. Though my office closed & I work from home now which helps a lot. I have 2 children 11 & 15. I also coach preschool gymnastics 2 nights a week @ the gym where my daughter is on the team to help cover tuition. Two other nights a week I have to drop her off & pick her up but don't stay. occasionally hubby will drop off or pick up if I have something else I have to do like Booster Club meeting for my sons JROTC or if I have to work late for my day job. Hubby owns his own business &works when he feels like it. Most of the time he is in bed on the computer or playing video games.

    I do all the laundry, dishes & any cleaning that gets done though the kids help some on weekendd. My sons bus comes at 6:50am & my daughters @ 7:15 so I have to have my son up at 6am to get ready for school. I have always gotten up @ right about 6am to get my son up. But on Sunday Jan 1st. I decided that I have had enough of being miserable physically & mentally. I told a few wonderful friends how miserable I am & just getting that off my chest & having their support has lifted a great weight off of my shoulders. I felt better mentally almist instantly. I decided I would get up earlier & exercise. I am getting up @ 5:30 even though for the last 3 years I have told myself I could not get up any earlier. I can, I decided I wantrd to feel better more than I wanted to sleep until 5:50. I am using our elliptical every morning now. Only 15 min right now but I am going to try to bump it to 20 next week. Then I wake up my son & get in the shower. After that I get their breakfast & pack their lunches. I also decided that instead of playing on my tablet on the front porch while waiting for my daughters bus to comeI would read my bible. I have an 'everyday bible' it starts on Jan and has readings for each day.If you are a believer try to make time for that too, if not that is ok to.

    Once her bus comes I make my breakfast & start my work day. Supposed to be 8:30 to 5 but I do 7:30 to 4 to get daughter to the gym on time.

    I just decided to be happier & healthier. I have heard you had to make the choice,I didn't think it was possible but I am doing it. I am trying to rid the negative thoughts for thankful positive ones for example, the other night instrad of letting the sink full of dirty dishes piss me off because they had been left for me to do I chise to be thankful that we had dirty dishes because that meant we had food to eat when many don't.

    It is not easy to change but if I can do it you can do it. I also am like a single mother & my husband is like a 3rd kid but I am tired of being miserable. I cannot change him so I am going to change myself.

    Try eating lunch @ your desk & using your actual lunch to go for a walk. It's better than nothing. I also loaded some 5 min workouts onto my tablet & phone so I can take a 5 min break & do some toning.

    Good Luck. You are NOT alone & you can do this.
  • DancinBear63
    DancinBear63 Posts: 31 Member
    I appreciate this post so much, Jessica! I admire your determination to improve your fitness. I hope things work out in the way that you need them to.

    I work full time, my husband is a stay at home dad to our very busy almost 2 year old son. Neither of us feels that we have any time to exercise. During the summer, we walked at 5:30 AM, with our son in the jogging stroller. Now it is too dark in the morning to walk safely, and even darker when I get home.

    As I read all of the comments, I realize that I have made a lot of excuses. I am definitely going to find a way to make it work, too! I would be glad to be anyone's supporter, and am looking for the same.
  • Jessica0982
    Jessica0982 Posts: 209 Member
    Get your husband to help you. Seriously, you're not doing your son a favor by setting such an example... There's no reason why you should take care of everything.

    If I had control over the situation, I'd obviously get him to help me. But I can't MAKE him help me. I ask and ask and ask. NIcely and not so nicely. I've gone on strike. I've explained that as a parent to a boy, that his son looks up to him and he needs to put the effort in. Truth is, he'll help for one day (but yells at us the entire time) and then he goes back to his usual self the next day and everyday thereafter.

    I'm over it. So I'm getting myself fit. Getting back to being healthy. Putting me and my son first. And saving up to get the hell out! (Sad but true)
  • loricarol
    loricarol Posts: 3 Member
    Been there. Here are some ideas...
    Immediately after you pick your son up from day care stop at a park (plan for weather) so he can run, climb and play. Walk, march, jog or lung your way around the play equipment. Become a park-hopper and find the ones that entertains you both. If he insists you play with him, make an obstacle course out of it.

    Make a play date. Find other moms who could help. I don' t mean always dumping your kid on them. If you have an only child a playdate entertains your kid while you workout. The park is a winner but even popping in a video tape at home works while your kid is playing with a buddy.

    Is he in sports? If he's on the soccer fields for practice or a game put on your workout duds and jog around the fields.

    Don't worry what you look like. Every parent out there will be thinking, "I should be doing that".

    When my son is swimming for swim team, I climb the stairs continually for 15 minutes (working up to 30). When he is at soccer or football practice I jog the perimitter of the park. At games I circle the field until the game starts then pause to watch.

    Recruit your kid in the fun. He is old enough and will learn the value of exercise. He can jog a mile with you now. Participate in local fun runs to get him excited about jogging with you.

    Basically, be creative. You can't be traditional about workouts. There may not be a full hour or 30 minutes to get something in so do what you can. By starting to put in 10 minutes at a time you will figure out how to stretch the workout.

    Gyms are great for so many reasons but truely, expecting my son to do one more thing in his day is a bit overwhelming.

    Good luck.
  • Jessica0982
    Jessica0982 Posts: 209 Member
    Have you tried "talking" to your husband? telling him how you feel?
    you never know it might just work..
    if not a swift kick in the baulbauls(well it is christmas)! :noway:

    Talking does us no good. He's a *kitten*. That's the truth of it all. I've asked. I've talked. I've begged and pleaded. I've gone on strike and said screw the dishes and laundry and let them pile up. It doesn't work.

    I'm over it. He's missing out on a really great kid. And a really great wife for that matter.

    Sadly I'm saving up to leave. Because if he doesn't contribute to our family, then I don't need him around. I know I have issues in my marriage. I know he should help. But the reality is that he won't. So I do without him. I'm not letting his laziness hold me back.

    He'll figure it out when it's too late.
  • Jessica0982
    Jessica0982 Posts: 209 Member
    [/quote]

    What good are you to your boy if mommy is not there? =( If you are not there until 5:30 that is already a whole day. I think you are doing him an injustice taking him from one daycare to put him into another. Poor boy.

    I suggest buying wii fit or Just dance or something and play it with him @ home. You can watch tv and turn it into a game that during the show you fold laundry but during commercials you do jumping jacks, squats, push ups, lunges or whatever.
    You will have plenty of time in the future to add a fitness routine. I say these precious years with your boy trump ALL.

    If I worked full time, I would insist my husband did 1/2 of the household responsibilities . That is not fair. I would change that in 2012 for sure. I say this with empathy, I feel for you & you boy. Best of luck.
    [/quote]

    That’s why I stopped going to the gym to begin with. I felt like I was neglecting my son. He was a little younger then but when he said “Mommy, I never get to play in my room anymore” I knew I had to stop. Thankfully he’s older now where I can talk to him about it. I asked him if he’d be okay if he went to the daycare at the gym 1 day a week. He said yes. He likes the other kids. He likes the ‘new’ toys. He enjoys that 1 hour. Anything beyond that will most likely take a toll on him.

    It’s really hard to do much of anything during the week. It’s dark by the time I get home with the stupid time change. We used to go for bike rides after we got home from work but now it’s just too dark. I will occasionally play football with him outside for 30 mins tops if we’re lucky enough to get home a few mins earlier than usual. (tossing the ball around and trying to tackle him lol).

    On weekends, we go out and about. Throw rocks at the beach. Go to the zoo. Go to the park.

    I spend ALL my free time with my son as I’m pretty much the only one that provides for him and takes care of him. Trust me, it’s a kick in the gut to hear someone say “your poor boy” for me not spending time with him. I can’t change that I work all week long. I can’t change my hours. But truth is…I also need some ‘me’ time or I’m going to lose my mind. My mother has offered to take my son 1 day a week after school for me. That helps and makes me feel a lot less guilty.

    And yes, I realize my husband should be contributing WAY more. But he just doesn’t. I’m a broken record and I don’t know what more I can do to get him to help me out. I’ve accepted that this is who he is and that I can’t change him. So I’m working on changing ME instead.

    My new mantra – “The 3 C's of life: choices, chances and changes. You must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change”
  • lwoods34
    lwoods34 Posts: 302 Member
    I agree with what everyone else has said. I have a 15 month old son and I work part time. He usually wakes up at 7:30-8 am so I am up at 5:30 to do my workout in my basement. I am lucky to have a treadmill, a ton of free weights (I got them real cheap from gyms that were closing in the area) and a TON of fitness dvds. Yes I have a gym membership at the gym that I used to work for but honestly aside from the weekend, I really dont have time to get there. So while he is still asleep I am down in the basement getting my workout done. I usually workout for about 1 hr or so and then get myself ready for work and by that time, he is awake and I take care of him and then head off to work. My husband has to be to work by 7 am so he cant help out in the morning but if I wanted to sleep in on a Saturday and workout later in the day, he is really good about helping out because he knows how important fitness is to me. Its not just fun for me; its part of my job...I have to stay in shape to be a personal trainer.

    I think, with some time management, you can definitely fit it in. If you have that Exercise on Demand channel from Time Warner Cable, that would be perfect. Even if you squeeze in 20-30 minutes in the morning and 20-30 minutes later on in the day. Something is better than nothing at all.
  • Cocoa17
    Cocoa17 Posts: 38
    I read your posts and feel your pain and frustration. Even though my husband helps some, it isn't enough and we have 4 kids-- and my husband travels. So, I am a single Mom a lot of the time.

    Time is your greatest issue, so you have to make the most of what little time you have. If you have a little more time on the weekends then you need to take some time to get organized. Prep/ plan meals that will save you time later in the week, get a schedule together that you feel will work.

    For me, when my husband actually IS home, I get up early and while the he and the kids are sleeping I work out. Then I get home, shower, and everyone gets up and doesn't know the difference. It makes for a long day, but I have more time with the kids, and the energy to get through the day.

    It is not easy, but it is possible to meet everyone's needs! Good Luck!
This discussion has been closed.