struggling with being more attractive

Apparently men find women who have lost weight more attractive than those who have always been thinner.

I don't know. I don't get hit on, but I admit when I started losing weight I worried about the same thing. Not that I think I am attractive, but I used to get hit on a lot when I was in my 20s, and it seems to me that men have got more aggressive in their flirting in the last decade. Maybe I just notice it more now I have children to look out for.

I'm not sure what you mean by the men finding women who have lost weight more attractive than those who have always been thinner thing... I don't think that's true.... hmm.

All I'm saying is, being looked at as an attractive woman is a new experience for me, and it's uncomfortable, and I'm trying to find ways to get used to it. I'm not trying to say that I think I'm hot stuff,. But losing 73 pounds is going to make a person hotTER stuff than they used to be.

It was in a New Scientist my husband had kicking around about a year ago, but I can't find a link to it on their website.

For starters congratulations on the loss quite impressive if I do say so myself. Second of all, looking at this from the other side I'd say I'm dealing with somewhat the same thing (but not exactly haha) I mean that I find myself somewhat nervous when it comes to approaching girls because I'm so used to being that chubby/fat guy that I just feel like I'd instantly get shot down. Whether or not this is the case is beyond me but just know that it plays out on both ends. I've definitely felt as if this has held me back quite a bit but on the same token I'm not the kind of guy to just walk up to a random girl and strike up a conversation. I don't ever want to be that creeper that girls so often talk about with their friends, just not my style.

You seem very uncreeperly to me,

Yeah, I think it is definitely the same issue, just different side. I can identify with what you're saying- you still think of yourself as that fat dude.

When I told a friend of mine who I've recently met that I used to be really overweight, she said "I would have never guessed you used to be fat." And I was kind of confused because I think I'm still fat, but I guess not really? What? And this REALLY insanely hot guy is interested in me and I think we're going out for coffee this weekend, and part of me is suspicious and wonders what the heck is wrong with him if he wants to go out with me... but then I realize it's because I'm an awesome person and I have a pretty awesome body now.

It's weirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd.

It seems like you haven't "emotionally" caught up with your weight loss. I had a friend that lost over 100 lbs and said she was frustrated because she still walked like a fat girl even though she wasn't fat. You've got to find a way to wrap your brain around the hot creature that you are...and you are deserving of a hot guy...because you are hot yourself.

I've had stuff like this happen to me a lot throughout my life. I even got hit on at a liquor store, and one summer when I lived about four blocks from my college campus and walked there every day, I would get guys stopping and asking for my number ALL THE DAMN TIME. What was even creepier was when guys would circle the block, come back and ask for my number, and when I explained I was already seeing someone they were like THAT'S NOT BIG DEAL, HE DOESN'T NEED TO FIND OUT. That coupled with the fact that I lived in a sketchy area of the city... I understand. Recently, I got looked over so blatantly by a guy at WalMart this random man next to me looked and me and commented "Did you see that?" I get it. There are creepers.

If the guy is nice about just take it as a complement. If he's creepy about it, don't be afraid to put on your ***** face. Guys stopped asking for my number that summer I was walking to campus because I learned to walk with an air of "Do not talk to me." If a guy is approaching you creepily, again, don't be afraid to be stern and put on your ***** face if you need to. Or tell them your a lesbian. That's fun too.

Apparently men find women who have lost weight more attractive than those who have always been thinner.

I don't know. I don't get hit on, but I admit when I started losing weight I worried about the same thing. Not that I think I am attractive, but I used to get hit on a lot when I was in my 20s, and it seems to me that men have got more aggressive in their flirting in the last decade. Maybe I just notice it more now I have children to look out for.

I'm not sure what you mean by the men finding women who have lost weight more attractive than those who have always been thinner thing... I don't think that's true.... hmm.

All I'm saying is, being looked at as an attractive woman is a new experience for me, and it's uncomfortable, and I'm trying to find ways to get used to it. I'm not trying to say that I think I'm hot stuff,. But losing 73 pounds is going to make a person hotTER stuff than they used to be.

It was in a New Scientist my husband had kicking around about a year ago, but I can't find a link to it on their website.

What? Dang... well that's just crazy. Good to know!

I have to eat a little crow here and admit that I thought you were trying to make some kind of snarky remark, I didn't realize you meant it as fact.

Ha ha! See why I keep people at arms length!? I don't generally make snarky remarks without provocation. It really is true. Though sadly in the same article they claimed that women don't like other women who have lost weight. Probably for the same reason. Competition!

Apparently men find women who have lost weight more attractive than those who have always been thinner.

I don't know. I don't get hit on, but I admit when I started losing weight I worried about the same thing. Not that I think I am attractive, but I used to get hit on a lot when I was in my 20s, and it seems to me that men have got more aggressive in their flirting in the last decade. Maybe I just notice it more now I have children to look out for.

I'm not sure what you mean by the men finding women who have lost weight more attractive than those who have always been thinner thing... I don't think that's true.... hmm.

All I'm saying is, being looked at as an attractive woman is a new experience for me, and it's uncomfortable, and I'm trying to find ways to get used to it. I'm not trying to say that I think I'm hot stuff,. But losing 73 pounds is going to make a person hotTER stuff than they used to be.

It was in a New Scientist my husband had kicking around about a year ago, but I can't find a link to it on their website.

What? Dang... well that's just crazy. Good to know!

I have to eat a little crow here and admit that I thought you were trying to make some kind of snarky remark, I didn't realize you meant it as fact.

Ha ha! See why I keep people at arms length!? I don't generally make snarky remarks without provocation. It really is true. Though sadly in the same article they claimed that women don't like other women who have lost weight. Probably for the same reason. Competition!

Haven't read the article but it makes sense to me. Women who have successfully lost weight have confidence that those who are naturally thin may not always have. Confidence in oneself and one's abilities is attractive.

Yep it's normal. There are serious freaky creeps out there and some really awesome guys out there too. Take it with a grain of salt and dismiss the losers. It's just a reality that usually the ones who come out the gate first (so to speak) are the disgusting ones, or are trying to beat their friends to get to you. Smile, say "I don't think so" and walk away. I am not sure where you are meeting guys or getting noticed, but in a bar especially with alcohol in play, men often get a little pushy. Be proud of what you have accomplished with working on you.

Pretty please, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, ok? I'm exposing some vulnerabilities here, so I'd appreciate it if everyone would try their best to be kind. Thank you.

I've lost 73 pounds total. 40 in the last year. Dudes are looking at me. It's fun and cool, for the obvious reasons. But I'm a little uneasy because it's never really happened before, and for some other reasons. I just had a really nasty experience with a guy hitting on me- he had terrible boundaries, and the way that he approached me was incredibly creepy and it really, really upset me. I'm worried that there is more of this in my future. I still have a lot to lose yet, so I'm worried that if this is what I'm experiencing already, it's going to just get nasty.

Has anyone else experienced these feelings, and what helped you to deal with it and feel more comfortable with your body?

Welcome to the new world.
Get used to it.

And remember this. We must go through the bad to get to the good.

IT WAS DEFINITELY WEIRD FOR ME AT FIRST WHEN I STARTED GETTING ATTENTION. I USED TO AVOID IT AND NOW AFTER SETTLING INTO MY BODY I JUST SAY THANK YOU, LAUGH AND WALK AWAY. I'M A BIG FAN OF THE "I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP" IF THE PERSON IS JUST PLAIN CREEPY. SMILE SAY THANK YOU AND GET THE HELL OUT. I'VE STOPPED GOING TO CLUBS BECAUSE MEN GT PRETTY GRABBY AND HONESTLY TOO PUSHY IN MY OPINION.
I WORK IN A HOSPITAL AND WHEN I WAS A TRANSPORTER I GOT HIT ON A LOT. WE PUSH PATIENTS AND I'M NOT GOING TO LIE, MY *kitten* DID LOOK PRETTY AWESOME IN MY SCRUBS BUT IT GOT AWKWARD SOMETIMES. I WOULD HAVE MALE NURSES JOKE ABOUT NEEDING TO WALK BEHIND ME TO SEE HOW IT'S DONE. ONE CREEP SAID HE WISHED HE COULD "BE BEHIND ME ALL DAY" HEY PERVERT.... I'M PUSHING YOUR ICU PATIENT, STFU. EVEN HAD A TECH PULL MY HAIR AND BRUSH THEIR HAND ON MY *kitten* WHILE I WAS PUSHING A BED AND RUN OFF LAUGHING.
IT SEEMS LIKE TODAYS GENERATION OF MEN WANT IT EASY AND QUICK. AND IF YOU GIVE A GUY YOUR NUMBER THEY TEXT YOU AND ASK FOR SEXY PICTURES. AT LEAST IT SAVES ME TIME FROM WEEDING OUT THE ONES WHO ARE SERIOUS RIGHT?
IT WILL GET EASIER AND YOU WILL LEARN WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU IN THOSE SITUATIONS. BE MINDFUL OF HOW YOU DRESS AND HOW YOU PRESENT YOURSELF. HOPE THAT GUY LEAVES YOU ALONE NOW THAT YOU'VE EXPRESSED YOUR FEELINGS.