whats the first thing you did after your divorce???

My ex and I went to the courthouse together, had everything worked out before we went, and went to lunch after. We still go out about once a month to eat or what not. A marriage ending, good or bad, is like any other relational loss. Even if you planned on it and need it, there will be a slight transition. Dont make plans...just do what works for you. Celebrate. Withdraw. Sleep w multiple people.Whatever you need to do.

Things will roll as they need to.

After my divorce FINALLY finalized... i gave THANKS, told everyone who understood my struggle... and basically closed that book!! I felt closure and relief that i could finally move on without that "anchor."

I never wanted to enter into a marriage with this outcome, but sometimes it happens. (more now than ever)

Next time.... it will be different!!!! :flowerforyou:

...how did you celebrate yours?

:huh: celebrate??? what exactly is there to celebrate with a broken relationship. The day papers were exchanged was not a day I thought of as one to celebrate.

guess we're all different that way......:ohwell:

Sometimes, a relationship can be so bad, that when you get out of it, it IS a celebration. Some people truly do get their lives back.

I went and got a mani/pedi, a cute new outfit and went to a concert.

I allowed my ex to rent the spare bedroom. That was 8 months ago and he is still there. We get along better now than ever before, my guess is we will re-marry one of these days. But until then....I do what I want when I want and the kids still have their dad living in the same house. All is good in my litte world.

I slept with a male friend, since the *kitten* Ex had refused to touch me the last 8 months of our marriage since he was screwing every *kitten* he could get his hands on. My guy friend was single, I was single, one thing lead to another.......... Well you can fill in the blank. It was a great night and I was finally free from the man who beat me down physically and emotionally.

The first time, I did stupid stuff. I partied for two years straight. On the first anniversary, I had a few friends over and we burned the framed copy of our wedding announcement and cheered while it burned. Silly I know, but that actually allowed me put it in the past.
The second time, I didn't celebrate. I thought it was time for some personal reflection. I thought about the complaints both wives had about me, decided which ones were legitimate and made the appropriate changes in myself. Now, I'm a whole lot happier and am in the best relationship of my life. Neither one of us wants to get married, but we agree we'll probably be together the rest of our lives.
Ciao, Marc

have a party

I celebrated by living my life in just the way I wanted it. I moved downtown in to a teensy apartment right in the heart of the city, I started homebrewing (something my ex thought was too involved and messy), I went out with friends, I practiced playing the trumpet whenever I wanted (as long as it wasn't during sleeping hours.. I did live in an apartment!).. and well, I just started living well.

He wouldn't let you brew b/c it was too messy? WTH, did he have a vagina??

LMAO!!!!!!

I just read through this entire thread ... and im intrigued. Being 24 and single, I am nowhere near ready to get married ... but I'm wondering .. especially for the people who re-married ..... How do you know that you want to marry the person you do? And if you got it wrong the first time, what changed the second time around??? Experience? Two people "fitting" together better? etc


My parents will be married 30 years this November and it was both their first marriage ... MY mom said she "Just knew" that she was going to marry my dad. I am hopeful that my marraige will be as smooth because I have great role models, but I often worry about the "what ifs"

I met my current husband online. I saw his picture and just knew we were ment to be. I think what really sold me on marrying the guy was when we first moved in together I got really really sick. His uncle was a a nurse and had me so doped on phenergan that I wasn't able to walk straight. I had to go to the bathroom, but was so weak from vomiting and diarrhea I couldn't get up in time to go to the bathroom. Long story short I had an accident and he cleaned me up after he carried me to the bathroom and comforted me, because I started crying from embarrassment. He is also a CNA so he was used to doing that for patients. He was so gentle and loving while he was bathing me that I couldn't imagine my future without him.

My first husband was very charming at first, and I was very vulnerable when I met him. I thought he would be the only man that would want me, so I over looked all the abuse.

I was single for a few years and matured greatly. I knew what kind of man I wanted and wouldnt settle for another *kitten* ever again.

My current husband and I just fit better.

I have been actually living my life for the past several years, instead of just going through the motions like I did before. And, I never ask myself "is this all there is?" or "am I going to die like this?" anymore.

PS: I also got a belly ring because he constantly told me that I couldn't.

I wasn't able to do anything the day my divorce was finalized but I did go out that weekend and party. My ex made the divorce pretty nasty and I was so relieved to have it done. I know people that are sad about the ending of a relationship they thought would last forever and I know people that are thrilled to be out a terrible situation. I am definitely in the last category and I'm okay with that. It doesn't make a cold hearted person, it makes me human and I am so much happier now, which is good for me and my kids.