I want to strength train but I don't want bigger muscles! He

Do a quick google search and you will see that it is REALLY REALLY REALLY hard to bulk up.
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In fact, for women it's just about damned near impossible. Women AREN'T DESIGNED to bulk up. It's not in our make-up. If you have muscular legs, cool. Send some this way! I can't make it down the hill on a snowboard the second run of the day without my legs shaking & me feeling like I'm going to die.

I'm learning to snowboard to TONE UP.

I know some women who go to the gym just to bench press... THE BAR. Yep. They don't even add weights. It's not about bulking up, because for a woman you'd need to work out HARDCORE & chug protein shakes all day to do it. But strength & tone is what they go for.

Good luck!

It all kind of depends on if you want muscle tone or lifting strength. If you don't want to use weights...don't. There are other options....yoga, pilates, resistance bands, body weight exercises, swimming... all of those will give you good all over muscle tone.

I agree here. If it is muscle tone and strength, you can do it with body exercises and yoga and pilates.

A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
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Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

5'3 i have wide shoulders... and i lift heavy.... im pretty curvy ... and as much as i would love to have huge legs like the hulk... its just impossible unless you are taking something..... We don't have the genetics to get big like that. You can look at some of my pics.. I don't think i look like a man lol.. i hope not ..

Yeah, you're awesome!!

A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Muscle mass is increased when the muscles undergo microscopic tears during a workout. These tears then require an increase in blood supply to the affected muscle, which thereby leads to an increase in the size of that muscle group. Since you don't want to increase muscle mass, you will want to workout the muscles, but with little weight. You're focus is on repetitions, and not strength. This will allow your existing muscles to tone, but you won't have any of the micro-tears that will cause the muscles to increase in size.

low weight + a lot of reps = toned muscles
heavy weight + fewer reps = increase in muscle mass and girth.

Hope this helps.

This is not true. When you see female olympic weightlifters or powerlifters (in the lower BW categories) they usually look anything but bulky. You can see definition but it's not much at all. They lift extremely heavy weights all the time for low reps.
Now take bodybuilders who usually do 8-10 reps I think (not sure exact but it's about that) that is around the optimum to build actual muscle mass. Higher and it gets in endurance, lower and it's more strength.

To the OP, don't be afraid to lift heavy weights. It's all relative to what you can do anyway. As a woman you have less testosterone and will find it really hard to bulk up, especially on a deficit. I have lifted heavy for ages, and the only time I got bigger muscles than I might normally find attractive (they're still not that bad) is when I spent nearly 6 months on a surplus of 3000+ calories a day. Even then it's only when I flex, which nobody walks around doing 24/7 anyway. I gained around 16lbs. Probably 6lbs max is muscle, the rest, fat, making my muscles appear bulkier than they actually are.
All women who do have huge muscle have usually: a) taken steroids b) worked for years training specifically to get bigger, and eating a diet (surplus) that is designed to do that to.

You say you have naturally big muscles, which is fair enough but I doubt they will get much bigger, if anything, the fat covering them still may be making them appear bigger than they are. Fat is much better at making people big than muscle is. The lower bf you go, the smaller your arms/legs will appear, although around 18-20% and less is when they can become really defined, so if you don't want that either, stay around 20%.
When you start to strength train you may appear bigger at first, a lot is water, needed to help repair your muscles. That will ease off. Also your muscles may grow a little bit since you're new to lifting (but will appear smaller after shedding fat too) Even then, the muscle you build originally, it does not continue to grow at that rate forever, it slows down and after a while of lifting you won't be able to even gain any while on a deficit.

Hope this helps realised I've rambled on a bit - just hate it when I see loads of untrue stuff floating about haha

I've been thinking a lot about this conversation since posting yesterday.... I think part of the controversy is when some of us say "I get bulky" or "I feel like the hulk".... some of it is simply that we feel bigger but others may not see it that way. I know most people just see me as muscley-- not as "big." Yet to me, it feels big/bulky. I'm not very big (size 2-4) but bc of the way my body is composed, I think sometimes my muscles look more masculine than feminine. Luckily I still have some of the necessary curves to balance it out, but sometimes I see pics of my arms and I worry they are too muscular. I sometimes get teased by the guys at work ("hey Popeye....") but most people are complimentary-- but that doesn't mean I'm not going to sometimes worry about it. So, I understand your concern. Know, though, that other people aren't going to necessarily see you the way you see yourself. Find the balance that works best for you. If after lifting for a month, you don't like the results-- change it up.