My mom said I still look the same..

theresa029
theresa029 Posts: 95
edited October 7 in Health and Weight Loss
but i know i lost more than 10pounds..she laughed at me and thinking that I cant do it.. Because shes also big..
I hate that feeling :(
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Replies

  • nalfavi
    nalfavi Posts: 174 Member
    My grandmother does that too. You have to ignore it, and keep in mind that YOU know you are losing. You're losing for yourself, and I'm sure you're feeling better and have more energy. 10+lbs is a lot! You have nothing to prove with your weight loss to anyone, including your mother, as harsh as it may sound. You can do it, you ARE doing it, and that's what matters :)
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    It could be her own jealousy being reflected back at you. Don't let it get you down...you look great and you'll keep looking better! Sometimes when a person is not satisfied with him or herself, that insatisfaction comes across as critism. Look for support here where the rest of us feel your pain! I started a group on my FB page too for those that are weight-loss and fitness minded. It helps when you have friends and family that are supportive.
  • theresa029
    theresa029 Posts: 95
    thanks for your response :)
  • MMH86
    MMH86 Posts: 120 Member
    keep your head up & keep striving towards your goals! xo
  • firedragon064
    firedragon064 Posts: 1,082 Member
    You need to surround yourself with possitive support group that would motivate you to get healthy.
    Don't discuss talk with your mom about your weight, she will break you down.
    My mom is like that also about everything in genenral. And I'm 47 yrs old.
    I realize I can't change her attitude so I just change mine.
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
    Also remember she sees you everyday, your gradual weight loss may not be so apparent to her. When you change just a little each day it's hard to notice. Your brain gets used to the tiny differences.
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,247 Member
    but i know i lost more than 10pounds..she laughed at me and thinking that I cant do it.. Because shes also big..
    I hate that feeling :(

    aw :((

    Do yourself a favour and don't tell her any info anymore regarding your eating or anything to do with your weightloss. It's difficult enough as it is, without putting yourself through that too.

    That's why MFP is so good, you can surround yourself with positive people and positive ideas - bit of a weird one that actually, here we all are, the vast majority of people trying to attain a weight loss goal and you would think because of that alone it would be full of negativity, but it's not, it is totally the opposite!
  • Flossycat100
    Flossycat100 Posts: 103
    Sounds like your Mom has a serious case of 'sour grapes'!

    Stick with it because you're doing really well. And you know deep down that those 10lb DO make a difference, and so will the next 10, and so on. Good luck and stick with this site for real support x
  • sexforjaffacakes
    sexforjaffacakes Posts: 1,001 Member
    My ex never saw a difference when I lost 20lb! It's not necessarily her being cruel, she sees you every day, and the more overweight you are the more pounds it takes to see a difference.

    Don't get me wrong, 10lb is a great achievement, but it took me a loss of 25 before there was a significant visual difference, and some people lose like 50lb before people start to notice.

    It's not a reason to give up though, each pound is a step along the way, you'll notice differences in your clothes, moving about etc, and you're doing it for you anyway, not your mum
  • summer827
    summer827 Posts: 516 Member
    It could be her own jealousy being reflected back at you. Don't let it get you down...you look great and you'll keep looking better! Sometimes when a person is not satisfied with him or herself, that insatisfaction comes across as critism.

    That's true! I also agree with the suggestion not to talk to her about weight loss. Just keep on, come here for support :flowerforyou: and stick to other topics with your mom! It's sad, but I can't talk about my efforts much with my best friend. She calls me "obsessed", which is not true.
  • Kaathmandu
    Kaathmandu Posts: 129
    I agree with previous posters, when you see someone all the time, change isn't as noticeable. On the up side (depending on how you look at it) she may not have noticed when you put on weight?! Don't forget, though, that you have the numbers to keep you motivated! Cold, hard facts!! Keep up the good work :)
  • twynzmom
    twynzmom Posts: 172
    keep doing what you're doing!
  • Caperfae
    Caperfae Posts: 433
    Also remember she sees you everyday, your gradual weight loss may not be so apparent to her. When you change just a little each day it's hard to notice. Your brain gets used to the tiny differences.

    This is what I was going to say. The people who see you every day get used to you and don't notice the changes like someone who only sees you once in a while.
    Hang in there and keep up the great work!!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Also remember she sees you everyday, your gradual weight loss may not be so apparent to her. When you change just a little each day it's hard to notice. Your brain gets used to the tiny differences.

    Yep, this. I didn't notice any change in myself in the first 15 pounds, and sometimes still think I look the same.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Misery loves company.
  • zml_mom
    zml_mom Posts: 270 Member
    my mom did the same thing, when I gained over 100 lbs with my kids (ages 2 and 1) she told me there was no way I would ever loose the weight and refused to give me my old clothes back i let her borrow because she said I will never fit into them again.

    WELL I AM PROUD TO SAY I LOST IT ALL WITHIN A YEAR AND THEN SOME :)
    now she is the one saying she knew I could do it all along and how proud she is which pisses me off so bad.

    but hang in there and prove her wrong.

    sorry she's like that-I know its hard but don't let someone else's attitude keep you from your goal
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    but i know i lost more than 10pounds..she laughed at me and thinking that I cant do it.. Because shes also big..
    I hate that feeling :(
    I have the same issue.
    You need to get real about the fact that your mother and probably your whole family will never be a support for you in any way.

    Your mother is part of the problem - not the solution.

    Just lose the weight, then torment her over it every chance you get.
    Instead of sitting around waiting for her to affirm your success [she won't], harp on Mom about how fat she is.
    Make her feel miserable like she did you

    I believe in fighting fire with fire, and payback is wonderful. I LOVE getting even with people.
    Let their misery be our JOY!:laugh: :laugh:
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
    My boyfriends mum is a bit like this. Always trying to put me down about the exercise I do and what I eat or if I decide to have a drink at the weekend. She herself is overweight and doesn't exercise/eat healthy so I just take it on the chin because I know it's just to make me feel guilty that I'm doing it and she can't/won't.

    I would just ignore the negative comments and keep hold of the positive ones that you get from other people to keep you going. 10lbs is a good loss and if you can lose another 10 your mum will definately start seeing the difference! :) Good luck! :)
  • jill___
    jill___ Posts: 188 Member
    My mom does the same thing! I think it's out of jealousy. I've gone from a size 22 to a 12, and my mom regularly offers me her old size 16 jeans and says things like "They're stretchy, so even though they're a 16 I think you can squeeze yourself into them."

    Over the holidays when my whole family was commenting on my weight loss, my mom told everyone I'm starving myself and she thinks I need help!! My brother set everyone straight by telling them he sees me work my butt off at the gym everyday!
  • kcarpen3
    kcarpen3 Posts: 12
    I have the same problem with my mother. I agree while 10 lbs is an accomplishment, if you see her every day it'll be more difficult for her to notice unless you compare your 10 lbs lighter frame to a picture of you with the 10 lbs on. I've been at this since Halloween and my mother finally gave me her form of a compliment this weekend..."those pants look like **** on you." Don't be discouraged, be encouraged and motivated to lose more!
  • MamaLuvsDJ
    MamaLuvsDJ Posts: 29
    Ohhh my God I can soooo relate to you!!

    Okay so one of my reasons for wanting to lose the weight is to be some what of an inspiration for my mother. Okay so I have lost 8lbs since my journey. I haven't told her that I am on a diet, I am just showing by my actions. Anyway so this morning I was excited because I lost 8lbs....I saw my mother having breakfast and told her "Mom I lost 8lbs!"......all she said was "great!" but it wasnt one of those greats that they are jumping up and down ya know?? It was like "yeah yeah whatever". Ughhh.....that really broke my happy moment spirit. So sad!! But don't let that get you down! You are your own biggest fan!! Reward yourself for your loss! Yayyyy you!!!!!!!!

    Marina
  • monkeymouse74
    monkeymouse74 Posts: 288
    Some people will see their failure reflected in your success, and the most common response is defence, even if they're not actually aware of it. I'm sure we all have a fair share of "frenimy's" in our live's. The other side of this is what a lot of the other posters replied. She sees you everyday so cant see the subtle changes in your weight. Most people only notice once you've dropped a dress size or two. And remember you're doing this for YOU and nobody else. Well done on your loss so far! you're obviously doing something right!:flowerforyou:
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
    When you live with someone, or they see you daily it's hard for them to see the changes early on.....that being said your mom could be more positive. She may have meant no harm, or maybe she is just jealous, but I sometimes wish people would keep their comments to themselves. There was a time when it would derail me, now it just feeds my motivation! Just remember the changes you are making are for the good, you don't need anyone's approval!!!
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Also remember she sees you everyday, your gradual weight loss may not be so apparent to her. When you change just a little each day it's hard to notice. Your brain gets used to the tiny differences.
    I agree with this...she might be just as likely to not notice a 10 lb gain on you either! Keep up the great work!
  • CCSunlight
    CCSunlight Posts: 249 Member
    tell your mom to stuff it. ten pounds isnt easy.
  • theresa029
    theresa029 Posts: 95
    yes it asn't that easy..actually i lost 17pounds already I really worked so hard to lose the weight without going to the gym.. I use alternative exercise and running outdoors.. Well Im just pursuing it until I finally made it through. Even though Im just doing this alone. Its for myself and to make me feel better. thanks for all of your support and I really appreciate each one of your comments :))
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
    my other half could not/did not notice until i had lost probally a good 50lbs to be honest,so all you "bigger" ones out there please don't get on at them as you lose 1lb or even 10lb's as they might just be telling the truth also they are with you 24hrs a day so to speek and would not notice it as much...
  • Jwanguy
    Jwanguy Posts: 115 Member
    but i know i lost more than 10pounds..she laughed at me and thinking that I cant do it.. Because shes also big..
    I hate that feeling :(
    You keep doing what you are doing? Don't worry bout anyone else. Thats just jealously talking. Hate to say but if your mother is that envious tell her to join in with you. She can get the same results. Keep it up.
  • katyejean
    katyejean Posts: 233 Member
    It took now (close to 20lbs lost) for me to see a real change. And sometimes it's harder and takes longer and different areas of the body lose fat first. Like, I'm pretty sure my neck and shoulder area lost some fat. It's a very odd place, but the necklace I have worn every day for over a year has suddenly felt longer, and I know the chain didn't just grow. :p Maybe if she says anything, ask her to join with you. And if she laughs, you will have the upper hand to stand up and say "Well at least I'm not the one who will be fat and unhealthy for the rest of my life."
  • crunchybubblez
    crunchybubblez Posts: 387 Member
    I saw an illustration type of picture showing the fat on the inside of your body that surrounds all your organs...
    Now when I lose 5-10lbs and I can't see it, I remember that picture, and imagine how much less suffocated my organs must be,
    and it makes me smile.
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