Friends=Unhealthy Habits

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speedycakes
speedycakes Posts: 152 Member
in Motivation and Support
Does any one else have a hard time being healthy with friends around? Every time I hang out with some one it's alcohol and junk food and a lot of it. I feel awkward just standing around not eating or drinking anything. What do you guys do in this situation. I'm 21 btw so everyone i know just wants to drink. It's kinda lame. Even the few older friends i have 25-30 range just drink.

Why can't i meet a friend who likes to go out hiking, biking, running or will play tennis with me. Every time i bring it up to a few people it's "oh i don't have the time or money". Yet you have the time and money to get **** faced?

So what am i suppose to do, do everything alone? Just stop having human contact and lock myself away from the world? I really feel like that is the only thing I can do. It's extremely depressing.
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  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    Maybe join a group or club? Most communities have hiking and biking clubs wth organized activities. Those would be great places to meet like-minded friends.

    The community center in my area has a bulletin board and it's quite common to see advertisements for raquetball or tennis players.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    Work on finding a way to have fun without eating the crap. Have a couple of drinks, but stick to lower cal stuff and order healthier choices when you're out to eat (or eat before you go).

    Having fun with friends is important...the food and drink don't make it a "good time"..the company does. Keep asking and maybe you can motivate them to stop making excuses and join you once they see you succeeding!

    Good luck!
  • Dtrmnd86
    Dtrmnd86 Posts: 406 Member
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    Check locally for fitness type clubs. Or if you have a local gym, maybe take a class there to meet people who share your interests. I know the feeling, only it's with my family and in laws. None of them exercise or even pay attention to what they eat/drink. It's very tough and I used to get the "Oh, does it not fit into your diet" comments, but since sticking through it and not falling into their behaviors, I am now getting compliments on my weight loss. Good luck- and congrats on not giving into the pressure of others!
  • firesoforion
    firesoforion Posts: 1,017 Member
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    I cannot tell you how much I relate to this! And yeah, I ultimately got bored with other people when I was in college and *did* just stop hanging out with people (I tried to get various people to go around and do stuff but no success), and that was not a good solution either (though I'm not really going to say I regret it, given my options). I even joined some student groups but they were pretty much the same way. Only recently (I'm 25) I've managed to find some potential hang-out things through MeetUp.com. There's still a lot of groups based around going around and getting drunk but there's also a ton based on actually doing stuff, such as outdoorsy activities and sports type things (or music, or knitting, whatever). If you find the right groups, they're great.
  • speedycakes
    speedycakes Posts: 152 Member
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    That would be nice. I have looked around for things like that before. I live in Philadelphia, i found a hiking group but you have to have a car to get to the places to hike. I don't have one. I found another but it have a $125 monthly membership fee. I can't afford that. I havent had hours at my work in 3 weeks and i still have to pay for school and bills.

    Other clubs all cost to much as well. I wish there was a free way to get fit and have fun. Everything has a fee to it. :( I'll keep looking and hopefully find something free with in busing distance.

    Also i have tried to avoid the food at partied but everyone keeps giving me a hard time and i cave do damn easily.
  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
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    UGH, YES! I'm a college student and have a roommate who will eat straight from the big bag of chips or ice cream carton, get fast food at least 3 times a week, always have candy around, and always bakes...even worse, with my cookware. Since we share a fridge, it sucks opening it up to brownies or cookies each week. It gets so frustrating and tempting! I try to resist, come up with other ideas we can do, eat before, bring water or healthy snacks, or avoid it all together. It's especially frustrating when they get on to you for having "diets" and stuff when it's a LIFESTYLE change.
  • saldridge
    saldridge Posts: 125 Member
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    I joined a bike club - $75 for 3 years or so.
    I also joined a running group - mine is a training group preparing for a 10k (for $75/13 weeks)
    There are a lot of casual running groups - check some local running stores, they always have something going. Or check churches if that is your thing. While those probably get together for some drinks and food too, at least you have the benefit of training before and at least in my experience, their food is much better and most stick with a glass of wine and/or a few beer. Though the bike club can really put away some brews, that's for sure :-)

    http://www.phillyrunners.org/
    http://www.funonfoot.com/phclubs.html

    http://phillybikeclub.org/newbcp/
    http://www.bicyclecoalition.org/resources/clubs

    I love my bike club...and while I never considered guys in spandex to be particularly hot, where else do you get to star at a guys *kitten* for hours. And I can tell you, bike dudes have some nice hineys and runner dudes are also not that bad to look at.
    Plus, I have found that bike guys in particular are extremely happy about any female participating and are super nice.
    Highly recommended...
  • daydream58
    daydream58 Posts: 572 Member
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    As harsh as this is probably going to sound, it's what works. I dropped every single unhealthy habit friend I used to have when I decided to get healthy, it was about a lot more than my body, it was about my LIFE and I replaced all the lazy, unhealthy, partying friends with healthy friends who like healthy habits and hanging out doing healthy stuff. I did the same thing 12 years ago in regards to smokers when I quit smoking.

    I suppose it really is harsh to pick up and drop friends over their personal habits, but what can you do? It just doesn't work to try to hang out with people you no longer have enough in common with.

    Every city has tons of healthy groups to do stuff with. There's that meetup site where they all get together and maybe there's even an MFP group near you. I suppose I'm a bit lucky as my city and my neighborhood are very healthy minded. Well most of my whole island is... it's just a healthy place, which is a motivational all by itself in a way.

    My mom used to always say be careful who you hang around, because you'll be known "for the company you keep" and this extends to who you hang around later in life too, and it's more than just how you're known or perceived, it's your LIFE, it's how you're spending your free time... make it positive and healthy. If that means replacement of friends, so be it but never feel like you're all alone, you aren't! You just need to hook up with some healthy friends!
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    Checkout meetup.com. You can join clubs on there and meet all sorts of people with similar hobbies and interests. Could be lots of fun.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    Does any one else have a hard time being healthy with friends around? Every time I hang out with some one it's alcohol and junk food and a lot of it. I feel awkward just standing around not eating or drinking anything. What do you guys do in this situation. I'm 21 btw so everyone i know just wants to drink. It's kinda lame. Even the few older friends i have 25-30 range just drink.

    Why can't i meet a friend who likes to go out hiking, biking, running or will play tennis with me. Every time i bring it up to a few people it's "oh i don't have the time or money". Yet you have the time and money to get **** faced?

    So what am i suppose to do, do everything alone? Just stop having human contact and lock myself away from the world? I really feel like that is the only thing I can do. It's extremely depressing.

    I think that it is time to break up with your unhealthy friends and find some new ones who have the same values as you. I did this, and am better off for it. I also started a group on my facebook page and invited all my fitness and health-oriented friends so we can support each other, rant and rave, etc in a forum of like-minded individuals. It helps a lot and will keep you on track!
  • lilithe1
    lilithe1 Posts: 30 Member
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    I feel your pain. I had that problem in college and am still having it today. It's NOT just a college thing. I have some friends that I simply can't be around if there's food/drink involved because they are not supportive and give me a lot of crap. I do things with them that don't involve food at all, and make sure I eat before I go. Most schools have a gym that is free for students... does yours not? If it doesn't, ask someone at the office if they partner with any gyms and give free memberships to students. I went to community college for a while and they partnered with a local gym and I could go there for free.

    However, if you can't, here are some ideas:
    1) tell them you have an allergy to something and can't eat ____. Wheat & yeast allergies get you out of just about anything, including beer. They can't really give you a hard time about that. Or say you are taking a medication that makes your stomach upset/you can't drink/etc. Giving up all your friends and doing everything alone is NOT realistic. So if they can't be supportive or help you out, then lie. :)

    2) There are some groups on here by state. Go on there and see if there is anyone in your area. Anyone on this site is likely to be interested in doing non-food things too.

    3) Volunteer at the places you want to go but can't afford the fee. I did this for the longest time and you'd be surprised at how many places will let you volunteer and you get free membership or whatever.

    4) Someone above mentioned meetups, which are great and a lot of times you can find some with people your age who are also working on losing weight.

    5) Finally, START a group! Post a flyer on a bulletin board saying you are looking to meet like-minded people to do things that are healthy, financially AND physically. You are NOT the only person in your school who has this dilemma, and I'm betting you would find at least one or two others who want to hang out and NOT pig out.

    Good luck!
  • saldridge
    saldridge Posts: 125 Member
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    BTW, from http://qcwcycling.org/area-rides/
    Winter Schedule: In effect during Daylight Standard Time, from the first Sunday in October until the first Sunday in April.

    QCW Base Training Ride: Sunday 8:45am. Runs from October to early-March. This is a moderately paced Fall/Winter base building ride. Usually each ride is different, the route depending upon the mood of the riders that show up. This is a great ride in which to meet QCW club members. Leave from the Bulldog Statue at Pennsylvania and Fairmount Avenues.

    Student membership: $20/year...can't beat that
  • speedycakes
    speedycakes Posts: 152 Member
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    UGH, YES! I'm a college student and have a roommate who will eat straight from the big bag of chips or ice cream carton, get fast food at least 3 times a week, always have candy around, and always bakes...even worse, with my cookware. Since we share a fridge, it sucks opening it up to brownies or cookies each week. It gets so frustrating and tempting! I try to resist, come up with other ideas we can do, eat before, bring water or healthy snacks, or avoid it all together. It's especially frustrating when they get on to you for having "diets" and stuff when it's a LIFESTYLE change.

    I know! I have been trying to go vegan for a while and other than drunken nights i have been successful. My friend was over here a few days ago and went in my fridge. She said "what are you on a diet, who eats tofu!?" -_- followed by "lets order a pizza".
    I said no thanks i'll make something myself. Then of coarse come the whole "come on, you know you want pizza." Yes I do love it but I'm trying NOT to eat it and it's so hard to say no. Then i say i'll only have 1-2 slices......4 slices later.
  • CannibalisticVegetarian
    CannibalisticVegetarian Posts: 1,255 Member
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    Yeah I go through the same thing actually. I suppose that's why my friends and I don't hang out as much as we used to. One of my friends is actually on a weight loss journey of her own, and so we sometimes work out together.. but there are times where we get together and pig out. On those days I'd like to at least hit the gym.. y'know.. make room for some of those extra calories. The worst cases are my friends who are still in college. I used to visit them religiously, but the last time I treated myself to a mini-vaycay in my old college town, I wound up pigging out pizza, Mexican food, Chinese food, and other fast food. It was just hella ridiculous!

    I'd love to meet up with others who are trying to eat healthy. As soon as I find some sort of hiking club, I'll be all over it.
  • RosieStringer9
    RosieStringer9 Posts: 16 Member
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    I bring my own drinks and food/snacks... red wine, hummus, makings for fresh guacamole (avocado, garlic salt, lime juice), and sliced cucumbers or whole grain chips/crackers so that I can still have fun with my friends, and there's often only 1 or 2 people interested in what I'm eating. Works pretty well for me!
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
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    Checkout meetup.com. You can join clubs on there and meet all sorts of people with similar hobbies and interests. Could be lots of fun.

    This is a fabulous idea. I know several people who go to these meetup groups 1 a month or so and have made really great friends that enjoy whatever, food, hobby, fitness.
  • speedycakes
    speedycakes Posts: 152 Member
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    You guys are super helpful! Thank you. I have been to meetup.com before maybe i'll go back and see if there is any free fun stuff going on.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    You guys are super helpful! Thank you. I have been to meetup.com before maybe i'll go back and see if there is any free fun stuff going on.

    If you are a student, you can also checkout your college's wellness center for classes or other stuff to do with others. I met a good friend of mine doing a yoga class on campus many years ago.
  • bgy4dl
    bgy4dl Posts: 2
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    I have to say, I have this problem too. I think if you are at a restuarant it is easier to be healthy, but if you go to places where you get fast food I think the only way is to either not eat with them or portion hardcore.

    As for alcohol I can say that beers are generally the worst for you (they have little refinement and thus have a lot of unprocessed sugars from the fermenting), try and have a spirits and again stay away from the ones which have high sugar content such as white rums (parrott bay tastes amazing but if you keep the bottle for about 2 weeks you can see the sugar coming out of solution around the rim.. scary!).

    Finally like a few other people have said try clubs. It does sound a bit like the drinking is not your thing so maybe clubs will get you more social interactions and new friends with other interests.

    Good luck Daniel
  • THINandFABULOUS
    THINandFABULOUS Posts: 170
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    Lol. I started laughing reading your post because I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from. Some of my best friends have the worse eating habits you have ever seen.

    One of my best friends, love her to death, eats fast food at least once or twice per day, 3-4 times a week. She'll call or text me from school and tell me that she's having jack in the box and then she'll call me late at night when she's driving home (around 11pm) with an order from taco bell or mcdonad's. -__- Plus, she doesn't drink water and absolutely refuses to drink water unless she has crystal light to add to it.

    And one of my other friends just drinks and drinks and drinks ALL THE TIME. Every time we go out, I like to eat a small dinner with maybe just ONE drink and she'll have 2-3 drinks during the course of my one meal and drink.

    I'm only 24 and so I do enjoy going out and having a drink, but in moderation. I am very health conscious and I love being active but I do agree with you-- it is tough when some of your friends have bad eating habits and live unhealthy lifestyles. I would say though, that I'm never tempted by their lifestyles or their food choices but I do my very best to encourage them to eat healthier, I love them to death and just want them to live long healthy lives too.

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