How do you handle a comment like this?

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Jill_newimprovedversion
Jill_newimprovedversion Posts: 988 Member
in Motivation and Support
"You're wasting away to nothing..."
"Be careful, you don't want to lose TOO much..."
"You're not STILL on a diet, are you? You're thin enough...."


I'm no where CLOSE to looking like I'm UNDERweight- in fact, I decided to go into maintenance mode,
rather than lose another 10 pounds-
because I didn't want to lose anymore- and I'm very comfortable where I'm at now.

But I find these comments very hurtful.
Seriously, where were all these people when I was OVERweight, and my health was in jeopardy then?
I'd make comments about *needing* to lose about 50 lbs......and hardly anyone agreed with me...
in fact, they said "no way do you need to lose that much weight."
Sorry, I did.
And I did.

And I don't think I look gaunt or unhealthy....

Just need some advice.
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Replies

  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    Instead of telling someone what I really thought (like It's none of your freaking business what I do with my body so you don't need to comment"), I'd say "Thanks for your opinion. I'll take it under consideration" and change the topic. I am dealing with a coworker who is starting to tell me this (mostly to get me to eat things) and she apparently sees it as a compliment.
  • liftingheavy
    liftingheavy Posts: 551 Member
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    The only people who tell me this could also stand to lose a few pounds, so in my case, I think it's jealousy. I'm relatively new to MFP, but lost about 30lbs prior to joining.

    I get these comments all of the time from certain people when they run into me and it's weird - as if they are suggesting I have an eating disorder. Come on... I do not look like I miss meals, I'm just healther and slimmer than before.
  • silentnacht
    silentnacht Posts: 53
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    I tell people straight to their faces, "I am a very healthy weight for my height and body type, please stop questioning me about this," I might also add that it's not a diet, it is a lifestyle choice and I will be doing it forever, actually, or that I'm not interested in getting fat again, depending on the person's attitude.

    I honestly find these comments incredibly insulting, and I can't think of why someone would say them other than jealousy.
  • bonnynblithe04
    bonnynblithe04 Posts: 123 Member
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    I always blamed it on my physician -- "my doctor isn't happy with where I am."
  • Seagully
    Seagully Posts: 4 Member
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    I agree with the poster who said it's probably motivated by jealousy or insecurity with their own weight. Good for you for reaching your goal. If it's just someone you don't know very well, I'd just smile, say "don't worry" and change the subject. If it's someone who knows you well, I'd probably talk a little longer and say that you're talking with your doctor about the right levels and they shouldn't worry.
  • mammafrog
    mammafrog Posts: 176
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    I to agree its jealousy. Most of my family is larger and make comments about me not needing to lose weight even though I still have 15 pounds of baby weight from Nov 2010. I typically say
    "Well my doctor thinks I look great. And I'm not on a diet I am eating healthier to be healthier. Would you like some of my recipes?"
    or
    "Actually I am in the healthy weight range for my body type. I love being healthy and would to help the people around me get healthy."

    They normally shut up
  • FreshKrisKreash
    FreshKrisKreash Posts: 444 Member
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    Woah, it's like you're in my house.

    "You're wasting away to nothing..."
    "Be careful, you don't want to lose TOO much..."
    "You're not STILL on a diet, are you? You're thin enough...."

    My mom says things like this to me everyday while she sits back enjoying a bowl of ice cream. As much as I hate to think it, I'm pretty sure it's jealousy. I stick to a healthy diet and exercise around 1.5 hours a day and she acts like I'm anorexic. People really shouldn't make comments like this because it makes me want to go to a buffet.
  • aquamarine_lady
    aquamarine_lady Posts: 16
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    @jill,

    Be proud of your accomplishment and just let the comments roll off your back. They aren't worth your energy. Keep up the good work!
  • rosieflo
    rosieflo Posts: 218
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    Also...to put other people in a more positive light...sometimes people just think those who have lost weight look so tiny compared to where they used to be, that they actually are suprised/confused where it would come from. Generally people aren't trying to be mean or hurtful..at least that I've had experience with.
  • bachooka
    bachooka Posts: 719 Member
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    That is people trying to sabatoge you. I hate it. They might think it sounds loving to say, "oh honey, I love you the way you are. You don't need to change!" but it just zaps our drive to make the change. SABOTAGE!!
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    Also...to put other people in a more positive light...sometimes people just think those who have lost weight look so tiny compared to where they used to be, that they actually are suprised/confused where it would come from. Generally people aren't trying to be mean or hurtful..at least that I've had experience with.

    ^^^This! When I first really started showing that I was losing weight everyone kept asking if I changed my hair. I had to say, "No, I've changed my face!"
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    I find the finger works nicely...and it doesn't strain my vocal chords.
  • TheAncientMariner
    TheAncientMariner Posts: 444 Member
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    Haters gonna hate!
  • thump418
    thump418 Posts: 251 Member
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    I simply tell people that I haven't lost any weight in the past 3 months. I am simply toning.
  • sandra80
    sandra80 Posts: 308 Member
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    i tell them that the healthy range for my height is still (at this point) 28lbs away. i lost 192.....i can lose 28 more. watch me.
  • laddyboy
    laddyboy Posts: 1,565 Member
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    Ignore them.
  • almost50now
    almost50now Posts: 19 Member
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    Also...to put other people in a more positive light...sometimes people just think those who have lost weight look so tiny compared to where they used to be, that they actually are suprised/confused where it would come from. Generally people aren't trying to be mean or hurtful..at least that I've had experience with.

    I have to agree here. Just take it as a compliment!
  • WifeMomDVM
    WifeMomDVM Posts: 1,025 Member
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    I got this alot the last 10 lbs. I would just tell people that I was focused on being healthy and where I end up, that's where I'll end up, but not to worry - I wasn't starving.
  • SimplyShanRunning
    SimplyShanRunning Posts: 885 Member
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    haters-gonna-hate1.jpg
  • therealangd
    therealangd Posts: 1,861 Member
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    I think that's perfect

    "You didn't have the nerve to tell me I was too fat then, you don't have the right to tell me I'm too thin now"

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