Trying to make it, ready to give up...

Remember you dont have to exercise to lose weight, you need to create a calorie deficit which can be done through diet alone. I know how hard it is as I have a 2yr old & a 6 month old. I exercise when they are napping which you could do once sleep issues are sorted out xx

Dont give up! This is only a hurdle.. I know this sounds crazy, but i would put my small kids in the back packs and cook and clean and do so many chores around the house when they were small.. I also would put them in strollers and take them for a walk every single day.. Mostly for THEM! They loved to be outside and get the fresh air.. Remember, this is not going to be forever, its only a small portion of their toddler life they are like this.. Add me if you need friends!

Wow, that sounds very frustrating. I remember when my kids were small and my husband was sometimes so busy, I felt all alone in raising them.

I understand wanting to keep up with the housework, etc. Try to take care of yourself first. The housework will always be there. I think it's great you're napping when your little one is sleeping.

And, when you're not feeling annoyed about your husband's lack of help or attention, can you talk to him about what you need from him?

Some guys need to be told explicitly what you need. He also might be decompressing when he gets home, and may not know that you're as stressed as you are. He's been at work all day, with other adults and coffee breaks. Work has its own stress, but it's also a more adult-friendly environment. On top of that, a lot of people assume that staying home is "easy."

I've done both -- been a stay-at-home mom and work-outside-the home mom. Both have their stresses, but staying home was sometimes a lot more stressful because there are days when it feels there is no relief.

Hang in there, and keep taking care of yourself. Don't give up!

I am tempted to laugh, not to be cruel, but because I understand what you are going through, {in a way}.

I have nieces and a nephew and both of my siblings are single parents, and it is funny because men really do like to play with the kids, but not really take care of them if they don't HAVE to, which means that if you are in the vicinity, then you HAVE to. I say if you leave the house and the baby with the father then he has no choice but to at least act or pretend that he cares about your weight loss goals. (which means you need to tell him what your goals are)

this nighttime screaming, the simple fact that you come in a rescue her every night from absolutely nothing is what keeps her crying. just let her cry, she will stop. my nieces and nephew have all had their spells of crying for no reason, not sick, not wet, not hungry, not in pain, so they will just have to cry, see how long that will last. if all fails take her to the doctor, but that's a waste of time in my book, they laughed when we brought my niece they said she was 2 and that's what they do at that age.

and since you are the controller of the food in the house, you can make your husbands request a bit more healthy, and if he wines about that, just eat smaller portions, weight loss is primarily nutrition. keep plenty fruit and vegetable around, drink plenty water and you should be okay.

maybe get a stroller so when you and the baby are up together you can do outside for a walk

I'm a tough love sort of person so I may sound harsh in my reply to you but its totally out of concern and to give you ideas to fix this problem. I'm going to say that if you tell yourself you are in an "impossible situation", then it will continue to be that way until you think of it as a situation that you can definitely work through because NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!

First, you need to sit down with your husband and come to some agreements. He may not realize at all what he's doing wrong and if you don't actually TELL him in a nice loving way, he's probably a typical man and may never get it on his own. Let him know how you want to look good for him by losing weight and he will probably buy into your plan and help rather than ignore the situation. Then you can get him to agree to watch the baby away from the TV or computer for 1-2 hours per day after work. You can even tell him to take her on daddy-daughter dates like the park, play area, mall, etc.

Second, regarding your daughter waking up at night - perhaps you need to just go console her and lay her back down to go to sleep instead of staying up with her while she's crying. It will be hard at first but then she will learn to go back to sleep on her own. As long as she's safe, doesn't need a diaper change, not sick, and its not meal time - she'll be fine. Its probably just a phase for her as babies and kids go through many of them growing up. Also, if your baby is not awake when your husband leaves, perhaps you can see him off 2-3 days per week instead of each day. If you make his lunch, make it at night and let him know where it is so he can grab it himself in the morning before he leaves.

For the elaborate dinners you talked about, you can cook on the weekends for the week ahead of time and just warm stuff up during the week to give you more time to work out or sleep or whatever you need to do during the week besides cooking.

Lastly, if you have any extra money in your budget, you can find a place to take your daughter during the daytime so you can workout for a couple of hours or attend a gym that has daycare included. I used to work in a gym daycare and most of the time the people who work there have kids themselves and are gym members who work for the free gym membership and often they are very caring towards the kids in the gym daycare. OR, you can find a stay-at-home mommy close to you who would like to swap child-care hours so that she can have some time to herself as well. Then you can take turns watching each others kids so the other can have time for herself to workout or get some stuff done. If that's not an option, then look online and join a mommy group so you can commune with other women in your same situation and get ideas from them. OR, you can do a mommy-and-me fitness class and that may help your daughter to be calmer at night also.

I hope this all helps you. I feel for you and really want to see you succeed. You can do this. Just start thinking SOLUTIONS and not impossible.

I didn't have much help when my children were small. It is try that the days are long for you now but the years are short and this will change. Your child will become more independent.

Can you connect with some other moms? I join a moms group at my church and it provided some wonderful friendships and we could support one another, trade off childcare and encourage each other.

I HAD to have "safe" snack foods in the house to keep me from eating lots of junk. I have so little self control with some foods that I would prefer not to have them in the house at all. But, if I have fruit and other good foods handy, it helps me to stay on track.

Another idea, go for a walk with your daughter in a stroller. For as long as she'll tolerate, odds are good that if you can squeeze in even a brief walk a few times a week, you will feel better for it.

Hang in there, I have been in a similar situation and it is tough.

Take one step at a time. Sort out your challenges. I think the first challenge is to figure out a plan to help your child sleep through the night. Ask your pediatrition advise for better sleeping patterns. NO SLEEP WILL MAKE A PERSON CRAZY!
I know this is difficult, I have twins that are two. My husband and I both work full-time and farm. I work out in the mornings at 5 am. Everyone is different, you just need to decide what works best for you.
Hang in there. Nothing stays the same forever!

I understand where your coming from and i know its hard, I have a son who is now four he has special needs as he doesnt talk or walk and my life is very hard too. Have u tried getting ur daughter into a routine? I found it helps, as children get very bored at home, forget about the house work forget about ur husband TOO AND I MEAN IT!!! i sometimes havn't anytime to tidy or make dinner as my son is very demanding sometimes and yes its exhausting. Your hubby has to learn that ur not super women and u need his help. I find it very relaxing to pop my son in his buggy and take him out for a push about and make it a routine, every day at the same time it will give u something too look forward to or even the park. get ur daugther tired and she might get an afternoon nap in.....

I am going to bypass the weight loss advice because I can't BELIEVE that no one is commenting on the fact that you are running around like a maniac while your husband does NOTHING!! He may work outside the home, but he is your child's PARENT, not a babysitter....he doesn't get to decide not to help.

So, you STOP making him elaborate dinners (you need to keep meals very simple and healthy...if he wants something different, the HE can cook for himself) and doing everything for him...he is not a child! When he gets home from work, you say 'I am going for a walk/run/to the gym", whatever, and you leave. You are allowing him to run you ragged, and it isn't fair.

Sorry, but allowing dads to be optional parents really gets my goat...his techno stuff can wait until the baby is in bed.

I am going to bypass the weight loss advice because I can't BELIEVE that no one is commenting on the fact that you are running around like a maniac while your husband does NOTHING!! He may work outside the home, but he is your child's PARENT, not a babysitter....he doesn't get to decide not to help.

So, you STOP making him elaborate dinners (you need to keep meals very simple and healthy...if he wants something different, the HE can cook for himself) and doing everything for him...he is not a child! When he gets home from work, you say 'I am going for a walk/run/to the gym", whatever, and you leave. You are allowing him to run you ragged, and it isn't fair.

Sorry, but allowing dads to be optional parents really gets my goat...his techno stuff can wait until the baby is in bed.

I agree with you on this, neither mom nor dad should get a free pass on home responsibilities just because they make the most, or are the only parent working outside the home. This really pisses me off to!

However - Everyone in my family criticized my sisters husband for being a lazy bad father to in a situation exactly like this, until we went over and saw how things really were. My sister whined alot about him - but then anytime he attempted to do anything at all to help, she tore his ways of doing it apart, criticized the way he did it and then would even go so far as to do it again in certain situations. So things aren't always as they appear - I learned he did nothing at home because of the way she responded, yet she was the first one complaining to everyone about having to do everything.

Certainly not implying its going on in this situation but I just hate when people whine about problems without attempting a solution at all. Which is why I know I'll never be a manager lol....

I can't really relate to the man issue because when my daughter was that age, I was (and am) a single mom. By the time I had met and married my deadbeat (and got rid of him a couple years later), my daughter was self-sufficent enough to not need constant supervision.

Here is what I can tell you...another gal said that you should ignore her. I agree to a point on this issue. My daughter went through the midnight temper tantrum spell at that age, and it was HELL. I would check on her at first cry, give her a drink of water and her dolly, then tell her good night. She would cry for 15-20 minutes, and I would repeat this sometimes for 2-3 hours. After a week we were down to 1-2 hours, another week less than an hour, and within a month she was back to sleeping again. It could be growing pains or teething, so sometimes a bit of children's tylenol helps if your Dr is okay with this.

As for me time...take what you can get. During the midnight temper tantrums, get noise cancelling headphones and listen to a book on tape, the TV, or music. Take turns with your mate...he helped make her, he can sure as heck help take care of her. When he gets home from work, tell him you are going for a walk and don't come back for an hour. It gives you some much needed silence, and honestly he will get the clue. I can tell you that she can't get into too much trouble in an hour, and when you get home if she has an entire jar of peanut butter in her hair, shrug it off, stick her in his lap and tell him to bathe her while you make dinner.

I know easier said than done, but don't stress the little things, and let stuff go. Kids will do some crazy things, and all I can say is take a picture, shrug it off, and relax. When she becomes a teenager, the stuff she does now becomes fodder for embarassing her to the boyfriends for all she put you through. Breathe in, breathe out, relax!