Am I being overly sensitive or do I have a reason to be mad?

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24

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  • LaGordita87
    LaGordita87 Posts: 161 Member
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    Maybe just ask for their names and try to add them, maybe they forget, i know i forget stuff all the time there are always things i "mean" to do but forget and then don't remember until i am somewhere where i can't do it(it's usually phone calls i need to make lol)
  • LittleMissAngi
    LittleMissAngi Posts: 243 Member
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    I wouldn't have anyone like that on my FB page. I only keep people I actually talk to and keep in touch with.

    Don't worry about them. You are doing this for you.
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
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    Block them on facebook. They are out for themselves. Its how I would feel x
  • vickijank
    vickijank Posts: 73 Member
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    A simple click will "un-friend" them and then you don't have to read or worry about anything they do or do not post/request. It seems it is taking a lot of your time and energy worrying about what "acquaintances" are posting online...energy you can channel into the positives in your life! Congrats on your healthy changes and success!


    Agreed. The only people you need in your life are the ones that need you in theirs. I'd forget about 'em. Defriend them and be done with it because I agree with you, if they wanted to be your friend on MFP they would have friended you. It sounds to me like they just use you for what they need and, if you don't really care about them, stop worrying about them and focus on the great work you've already started!

    There are plenty of people on here to support and motivate you, you don't need to worry about people like that.

    Keep up the great work!
  • JoanWill
    JoanWill Posts: 217
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    If i was just starting out, i wouldn't want any real life aquaintences on my mfp friend list. Even after losing 66 pounds, i do not in any way mention it on facebook, because although i think it is a pretty good accomplishment, I am embarrassed that I got to the point where i was.
    I don't want my real life world knowing every detail, what if i fail? -could be their thoughts...they're mine, for sure.

    I am the same. I have one real friend (went to HS with and talk on the phone for hours once in 3 months) on my friends, the rest I met here.

    I like MFP on FB to promote it but has never mentioned to anyone about this change I am doing.

    On the other hand, this really should not be an issue. Let it go. It will make you feel better. Choose not to be bothered.
  • bjfmade
    bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
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    these are people I just know through someone,or have only meet once or twice,just acquaintances .I would send them a friend request on mfp if I knew their usernames or emails,but to me,it was pretty obvious when I said if you decided to join MFP add me and my username was put for them to find me.I don't want their support,its just,don't keep asking me all this stuff about what I'm doing or whatever,but you don't care to be an MFP or friend in general.

    If they are larger than you they may be embarrassed for you to know their personal information. Don't worry about it, find other people that fit more into what you are looking for.
  • BPayton27
    BPayton27 Posts: 626 Member
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    I also think you're being overly sensitive, but I DO get where you're coming from. I rarely post things on Facebook regarding weight loss or my workouts, but on the rare occasion I do I get questions from acquaintances. I have recommended MFP to many, many people and told them to add me if they want. They usually don't.

    I know that when I first started here, I didn't want anyone I personally knew on my friends list. I was embarrassed at where I was and what I had become. I am 100% honest in my food logging and exercise. In the beginning my diaries were atrocious. She may be competing with you (I know people like this too, it's annoying), but who cares. This is about you. This community is full of supportive people to surround yourself with. You should probably remove these people from your FB, too. You're clearly bothered by them which brings unnecessary negativity in your life.
  • cheeksv
    cheeksv Posts: 521 Member
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    I think the mommy group thing is a great idea and you should continue to look for people around you or in your community to do that with. Don't drop it becasue some people are looking for more than the occasional advice. I would be annoyed too. I mean if you already told them how to get in touch with you and they chose not to then ok but if they keep going to you for advice why not take the extra step to either be workout friends at least or just cut ties. I would not go out of your way to ask them for their info so you can add them. Just do you and if they keep asking you for advice just say you will post the stuff on the mommy page for them to look at. If they still are distant then I would limit your interaction with them. They don't seem to want a full out friendship and you shouldn't do all the footwork to make one happen.
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
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    Maybe they are uncomfortable about it... who knows really? Do this for YOURSELF, not for a popularity contest.
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
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    Send me their names. I will do it for you.
    :flowerforyou:
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    I think you should send these people you know a FR on MFP if you really want their support here. You won't get very far in life always expecting other people to know exactly what you are thinking and what you want from them.
    Yes, send a FR - they'd be glad to connect.

    And if they don't, then you know something's up.
  • militarywitch
    militarywitch Posts: 9
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    Agreed--I have several friends that I have told and know they use this site--some are doing more...some are not--not my business, don't care either--this is my life...I offer the site as a tool and they can use it if interested. As far as competing--I think you think highly of yourself to think you have that kind of power over someone..to think that their choices are based on you... isn't is possible that the workout was fun and she just did more? And even if she is using you as a challenge...who cares...youe workout is for you, hers is for her...let it go.
  • antonio823
    antonio823 Posts: 298 Member
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    I wouldn't have anyone like that on my FB page. I only keep people I actually talk to and keep in touch with.

    Don't worry about them. You are doing this for you.

    I agree with this person. Your weight loss journey is yours alone and not a competition which is what it seems they are making it out to be. You've offered them information and tools to assist in their journeys to lose weight, you even volunteered to be supportive but they did not accept. Move past them and give yourself a pat on the back for leading them in a positive direction (remember that old cliche..."You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink"), it is now on each of them to continue the journey and make it successful. You don't need the aggravation of stressing over people who are not going to support you;)
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
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    :indifferent:
  • kimibunny
    kimibunny Posts: 52
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    You are overreacting and being overly sensitive. A weight loss journey is very personal and not everyone wants to turn it into The Breakfast Club. I have people I know irl on this site that are not on my buddy list because they are uncomfortable with it. It doesn't make us any less of friends; it just means they're not inclined to share their stats with me. I don't think you should be getting upset over a few people not friending you on the weight loss version of facebook. If you are happy in your real life relationship with them don't fret over it. If you aren't, MFP friends requests are doubtfully the seed of your relationship issues. Either way, I wouldn't worry about it.
  • healthyJenn0915
    healthyJenn0915 Posts: 185
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    Personally I would delete them from FB and not even worry about what they are doing. Obviously they are not close friends, so you don't need them anyway. Maybe they are jealous of your accomplishments and that's why they haven't friended you. If I were you, I would just forget about them completely and be proud of what you have done. Keep up the success! I am also a SAHM and kind of know where you are coming from. I got up to 218 with my first and 216 with my second. After I had them and the water weight dropped I was still at 190 and super unhappy. I started going to the gym 4 months after my second was born and lost 20lbs, but them I was stuck! Wasn't till I joined MFP that the weight finally started to come off. I hit my first goal and got back to my pre babies weight, but now I am trying to get those last 10lbs off and get back to my wedding weight! Just keep doing what you are doing. My props to you for staying motivated!
  • EMarvie
    EMarvie Posts: 335 Member
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    Maybe they're intimidated by your success's? you're a strong woman who's doing something about her own situation. Yes, you know that you would support them. but maybe theyre not sure they would be as dedicated as you and you'd see that.?

    keep doing what you're doing. you are making life changes for you.. not them. Keep up the good work!
  • Logansmom2011
    Logansmom2011 Posts: 81 Member
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    First off it was a simple question!There is no need for people to make it out to be that I have nothing else to do but worry about what people post on my fb and who will or will not be my friend.I am a SAHM to a very active 10 month old boy,I come across these posts on my FB,I don't stalk these people!

    Second- I am in NO way conceited or feel that these people are trying to be like me,I'm just saying that if I do post something,the other person coincidentally post something similar.

    Third- I weigh more than all of them! and have more weight to lose then them.I have never been skinny,they have!

    Fourth-I post my MFP on FB because I feel like it keeps me more accountable and I will not fail because it is on my Wall for everyone to see and which pushes me more and makes me want to continue to do well.And my brother lives 12hrs away with a very busy life and fb is more of our way of keeping up with each others lifes than anything else.

    Fifth- their opinion about me our wanting to be my friend is not the WHOLE point of the post.I just wanted to know if I was being overly sensitve of had reason to be irritated with "friends that only talk to you when they want or need something,but you are otherwise invisible to them."They are acquaintances,I have a lot of acquaintances I 'm not a facebook nazi that goes through my FB friends list every day and goes"hmmm they haven't talked to me in two days DELETE!" I try to see the good in everyone,I don't expect them to be my friends just because I gave them advice,I'm just saying,don't keep asking me things for your own gain but that be the only reason you talk to me.

    When you post something you give a general vague narrative,and people ASSUME and attack from the brief narrative you give, which I find to be plain high school behavior.
  • _GlaDOS_
    _GlaDOS_ Posts: 1,520 Member
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    Ok then I will give a more simple answer.

    "Am I being overly sensitive or do I have a reason to be mad?"

    You are being overly sensitive.
  • kimibunny
    kimibunny Posts: 52
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    Yeaa...that was certainly not a reply made by someone who is prone to overreacting and being overly sensitive. To be fair, I probably wouldn't want to be friends with someone who complains about me behind my back, in a community I'm a part of, instead of being an adult and talking to me about it.

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