Bailing on friends :(

stephabef
stephabef Posts: 936 Member
edited October 7 in Health and Weight Loss
It's my friend's birthday tonight, and my other friend just called to pick me up... I'm right in my calorie limit, it's already after 8pm, and they want to go for Mexican food and then drink shots all night. I know I could go and not eat/drink, but it's so much easier to just stay home. On top of that, I've been having a really hard time staying on track lately, and today was my first really excellent day. Also, I have to wake up at 6am for a lab tomorrow. I just feel really awful for not going...

Replies

  • weaverfit
    weaverfit Posts: 124
    You know what's best for you. Thank them and reschedule for another time.
  • BethanyMasters
    BethanyMasters Posts: 519 Member
    Use the lab as the excuse. Just tell them that you really need to get up early and you can't afford to stay out all night. Hopefully they will understand and not be bitter about it.
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
    Just tell them you can't and why, don't make excuses or lie to your friends. Thats not cool IMO.
  • stephabef
    stephabef Posts: 936 Member
    I was honest with her; I'd never lie to my friends, especially about something so trivial. Still, maintaining a healthy lifestyle while having a demanding course load sure is lonely. Part of me feels like I've "grown up" far too fast - my friends all go out and play, and I turn them down nearly every time, opting instead to go to bed early.
  • dragonbug300
    dragonbug300 Posts: 760 Member
    I was honest with her; I'd never lie to my friends, especially about something so trivial. Still, maintaining a healthy lifestyle while having a demanding course load sure is lonely. Part of me feels like I've "grown up" far too fast - my friends all go out and play, and I turn them down nearly every time, opting instead to go to bed early.

    I know that feeling. Trust me, the results are worth the self-discipline. However, it's okay to let loose every so-often and be completely immature. Sometimes those moments spice up your life, and sometimes they can make you grateful for how rarely they occur.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    It's my friend's birthday tonight, and my other friend just called to pick me up... I'm right in my calorie limit, it's already after 8pm, and they want to go for Mexican food and then drink shots all night. I know I could go and not eat/drink, but it's so much easier to just stay home. On top of that, I've been having a really hard time staying on track lately, and today was my first really excellent day. Also, I have to wake up at 6am for a lab tomorrow. I just feel really awful for not going...
    Don't!
    You are placing your health above the fleeting pleasures of going out.
    I had to sever my connections with old friends. It's something to consider.
    Nature abhors a vacuum, so expect that other like-mined people will fill that void.
    Like attracts like.

    My fat friends all were threatened by my weight loss and new healthy lifestyle - very jealous! They seethed with envy.
    And every chance they got to get me to stray, they did.

    No more of that!
    I have new friends on the same page with a common interest in health and fitness.

    Life is GREAT fit - miserable fat, and I don't miss the old crowd one bit.
  • psmd
    psmd Posts: 764 Member
    You did the right thing--it is more grown up not to go out and party like that. Maybe plan a birthday lunch somewhere to make up for it to still celebrate, just a thought.
  • LMHinson15
    LMHinson15 Posts: 201 Member
    I was honest with her; I'd never lie to my friends, especially about something so trivial. Still, maintaining a healthy lifestyle while having a demanding course load sure is lonely. Part of me feels like I've "grown up" far too fast - my friends all go out and play, and I turn them down nearly every time, opting instead to go to bed early.

    There's nothing wrong with what's doing what's ACTUALLY good for you, and not what just feels good in the moment!

    I'm ten years older than you, and I'll still go out every now and then and have a few drinks and get a little crazy, but I plan ahead for it (time and calorie-wise).

    Follow your gut.
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
    It's my friend's birthday tonight, and my other friend just called to pick me up... I'm right in my calorie limit, it's already after 8pm, and they want to go for Mexican food and then drink shots all night. I know I could go and not eat/drink, but it's so much easier to just stay home. On top of that, I've been having a really hard time staying on track lately, and today was my first really excellent day. Also, I have to wake up at 6am for a lab tomorrow. I just feel really awful for not going...

    It's called responsibility. Congratulations.
  • DixiedoesMFP
    DixiedoesMFP Posts: 935 Member
    My parents do this to me all the time! I have my day all planned out, I eat really well....then they want to meet for dinner. If you want to go, I say go and enjoy it and make the best choices you can. But if you're tired anyway and have to get up early, then just tell them that you'll definitely be in next time but you can't tonight.
  • tssa
    tssa Posts: 93 Member
    It's my friend's birthday tonight, and my other friend just called to pick me up... I'm right in my calorie limit, it's already after 8pm, and they want to go for Mexican food and then drink shots all night. I know I could go and not eat/drink, but it's so much easier to just stay home. On top of that, I've been having a really hard time staying on track lately, and today was my first really excellent day. Also, I have to wake up at 6am for a lab tomorrow. I just feel really awful for not going...


    I'm going through that same issue too at the moment. I've changed my lifestyle completely. A year ago, I was going out Tues., Thurs., Fri., AND Sat, eating unhealthy foods and consuming lots of alcohol. Nowadays, it just doesn't appeal to me to be at the bar 3-5 days out of the week and going out during the week IS TOTALLY OUT OF THE QUESTION. Now, I'll go out either Fri or Sat if that but rarely both. I do feel bad passing on my friends' invites but I got to look out for me. Sometimes, it's okay to be selfish and look out for you. You're have your best interests in mind.

    I'm pretty sure you're friend will understand. Promise her to do something this Friday perhaps and just adjust your meals during the day to make up for the stuff you're gonna eat and drink that evening?
  • maryjay51
    maryjay51 Posts: 742
    you did the right thing for now. if you feel threatened to cheat on your diet and you are not ready to do that right now then just dont go. ive done that tons of times in the last two years. my friends wnat to go drinking all the time and im from buffalo --home of them fried chicken wings with buttered hot sauce and bleu cheese dressing.. my friends always order them when they go out somewhere drinking .. none of them eat healthy and really who wants to go to a restaurant and order a salad anyway.. i tell them i have to work or have another event im committed to. telling them im on a diet never works .
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
    I wouldn't go, but I'd spend time tonight writing a personal note explaining how getting to my goal will require these kind of sacrifices and that I am so proud of her for accepting this miss.

    Congrats on a good day! Make tomorrow just as good or better!
  • Jessica0982
    Jessica0982 Posts: 209 Member
    That stinks! But I think you did the right thing. We all tend to say "Oh I'll just do it tomorrow" and "Oh well just one won't hurt" which turns into 2, then 3, then 4.

    It's very hard (especially at the start) to turn food away. If it's in your face, well, you'll probably be more likely to eat it. And your friends may or may not understand.

    I say you take her for a pedicure or something. :)
  • stephabef
    stephabef Posts: 936 Member
    That stinks! But I think you did the right thing. We all tend to say "Oh I'll just do it tomorrow" and "Oh well just one won't hurt" which turns into 2, then 3, then 4.

    It's very hard (especially at the start) to turn food away. If it's in your face, well, you'll probably be more likely to eat it. And your friends may or may not understand.

    I say you take her for a pedicure or something. :)

    This!! That's why I just couldn't say yes today... I've been saying yes this whole holiday season, it seems! I needed to get back on track, and it had to be today.

    And I appreciate the suggestion, but I don't think he'd like a pedicure all that much ;) Haha
  • stephabef
    stephabef Posts: 936 Member
    I'm going through that same issue too at the moment. I've changed my lifestyle completely. A year ago, I was going out Tues., Thurs., Fri., AND Sat, eating unhealthy foods and consuming lots of alcohol. Nowadays, it just doesn't appeal to me to be at the bar 3-5 days out of the week and going out during the week IS TOTALLY OUT OF THE QUESTION. Now, I'll go out either Fri or Sat if that but rarely both. I do feel bad passing on my friends' invites but I got to look out for me. Sometimes, it's okay to be selfish and look out for you. You're have your best interests in mind.

    I'm pretty sure you're friend will understand. Promise her to do something this Friday perhaps and just adjust your meals during the day to make up for the stuff you're gonna eat and drink that evening?

    This was me, too. The amount of alcohol I consumed alone really blows my mind! I think I literally doubled my calories multiple times a week from it! Insane.

    I might take him somewhere tomorrow and plan for it, like you suggested. Thanks :)
  • Jessica0982
    Jessica0982 Posts: 209 Member

    This!! That's why I just couldn't say yes today... I've been saying yes this whole holiday season, it seems! I needed to get back on track, and it had to be today.

    And I appreciate the suggestion, but I don't think he'd like a pedicure all that much ;) Haha

    LOL! You're probably right! :)
  • munkeyfunk
    munkeyfunk Posts: 141 Member
    I like your dedication
  • summersmi
    summersmi Posts: 50 Member
    That stinks! But I think you did the right thing. We all tend to say "Oh I'll just do it tomorrow" and "Oh well just one won't hurt" which turns into 2, then 3, then 4.

    It's very hard (especially at the start) to turn food away. If it's in your face, well, you'll probably be more likely to eat it. And your friends may or may not understand.

    I say you take her for a pedicure or something. :)

    This!! That's why I just couldn't say yes today... I've been saying yes this whole holiday season, it seems! I needed to get back on track, and it had to be today.

    And I appreciate the suggestion, but I don't think he'd like a pedicure all that much ;) Haha

    You might be surprised. Real men love a good pedicure. I used to not understand all the pedi. stuff until I got married and my wife had me get one with her. WOW, it felt great and well I don't mind that I might seem less masculine because I say that.
  • tssa
    tssa Posts: 93 Member
    I'm going through that same issue too at the moment. I've changed my lifestyle completely. A year ago, I was going out Tues., Thurs., Fri., AND Sat, eating unhealthy foods and consuming lots of alcohol. Nowadays, it just doesn't appeal to me to be at the bar 3-5 days out of the week and going out during the week IS TOTALLY OUT OF THE QUESTION. Now, I'll go out either Fri or Sat if that but rarely both. I do feel bad passing on my friends' invites but I got to look out for me. Sometimes, it's okay to be selfish and look out for you. You're have your best interests in mind.

    I'm pretty sure you're friend will understand. Promise her to do something this Friday perhaps and just adjust your meals during the day to make up for the stuff you're gonna eat and drink that evening?




    This was me, too. The amount of alcohol I consumed alone really blows my mind! I think I literally doubled my calories multiple times a week from it! Insane.

    I might take him somewhere tomorrow and plan for it, like you suggested. Thanks :)

    You are very welcome and good luck on your progress!
  • pedronimo
    pedronimo Posts: 2
    you just have to do whats right for you...when i was training for a marathon i had to give up a lot, a whole lot. Go to bed early, get up at the crack of dawn. Absolutely no Friday nights out because my 12-20 mile long runs were already prescheduled for saturday mornings. when it comes to your goals and your health you just have to be selfish and thats all there is to it. At some point they will be inspired by your focus and success, or not.
  • stephabef
    stephabef Posts: 936 Member
    You might be surprised. Real men love a good pedicure. I used to not understand all the pedi. stuff until I got married and my wife had me get one with her. WOW, it felt great and well I don't mind that I might seem less masculine because I say that.

    Nah, you don't seem less masculine! My uncle likes 'em, too. Didn't mean to further a stereotype by my post :) we could all use a bit of pampering!
This discussion has been closed.

Categories