So frustrating.

theroadto100
theroadto100 Posts: 209 Member
edited October 7 in Health and Weight Loss
I don't expect many to read all this so I won't be upset if you don't!
Okay, so I began trying to lose weight about a year ago. I was 156 pounds, the highest weight I'd ever been, and I realized how much I hated myself. So I began eating well, exercising regularly, and the pounds fell off. Within a few months, I was down to about 140, and after about 9 months, I was at 128. The lightest I'd ever been. But by then, I'd developed an eating disorder. My goal weight was 100 pounds, a little too light for my 5'3 body. I basically stopped eating, started throwing up what I did eat, and worked out way too hard. People started to notice, and my family tried to help. I went to therapy, took medication, and I guess it kinda helped. The doctors convinced me that if I ate more, I'd lose more. So I tried to do this, and at first, they were right. I dropped 5 more pounds within a week or two when I ate normally. But suddenly, I started to gain again, and went back up to about 135. At this point, I told myself enough was enough. I wanted to get down to 100, so I fell back into my old ways of barely eating. I didn't weight myself for about a month, and when I finally did again, I wanted to die. I was up to about 142. I told myself I'd never get up to the 140s again, and there I was. This was just a few weeks ago, and determined to get down to the 120s again, I cut back to 200-300 calories a day. Yet, I STILL gained. I think it was because I'd go into starvation mode, have one meal that was kinda unhealthy, and my body would cling to the fat in that one meal.

Anyways, now I'm about 146, and I'm trying REALLY hard to do this the healthy way. I'm back up to eating about 1200 calories a day, a HUGE jump from the few hundred I've been eating. I've gained another pound or two, but people have said that this is normal. I might gain a bit before I lose more. I just need some reassurance... haha. Is this normal? Should I start losing again soon? I eat about 1200-1400 calories a day, basically all healthy food, and do about 45 minutes of cardio 6 times a week, and just want to know why I'm not seeing results.

Replies

  • Kailyn15
    Kailyn15 Posts: 7
    Hey Girl..

    Your body was in starvation mode. Eating the cals you are and exercising the way you are, the weight will come off....in a healthy way. Be patient and it will pay off! Best of luck :)
  • ShoeZilla
    ShoeZilla Posts: 21 Member
    I suffered from anorexia in my early 20's and my metabolism was never the same. I have tried many fad diets but have to be careful. I am over weight now and trying to lose. The best thing I have found is to adjust my sugar and carb intake. Not delete it, that is dangerous, just limit it. Working for me. I hope you find something and a way to love yourself as I have learned. Good luck and add me as a friend if you want.
  • ashleygeex26
    ashleygeex26 Posts: 68 Member
    Just stay patient! You will get there, I promise. Don't just count calories, make sure the calories you are consuming ARE still healthy food. When you were starving yourself, you're body was looking for ANYTHING to grab onto because it needed nutrients. That's why you started gaining. Anything you put into your body, it was consuming and sucking up immediately. Do this the healthy way, trust me this is advice coming from a recovering anorexic. You will get there, just give your body time.
  • theroadto100
    theroadto100 Posts: 209 Member
    Just stay patient! You will get there, I promise. Don't just count calories, make sure the calories you are consuming ARE still healthy food. When you were starving yourself, you're body was looking for ANYTHING to grab onto because it needed nutrients. That's why you started gaining. Anything you put into your body, it was consuming and sucking up immediately. Do this the healthy way, trust me this is advice coming from a recovering anorexic. You will get there, just give your body time.

    Thank you! Hearing stuff like that makes me feel SO much better about everything. Sometimes I feel so hopeless, and I'm like "I should just give up. I'm not gonna lose weight anyways." But this kinda thing definitely makes me think differently :)
  • Swanson83
    Swanson83 Posts: 226 Member
    First things first... I am no psychologist but that first sentence is for you so that you won't feel bad if no-one responds. I have been on MFP for only a couple of months and this place if you find the right people will help you no matter your past. Don't set yourself up for failure before you start. You can do this...keep going. If done the healthy way it may take time but your body and family will appreciate it. I lost a bunch of weight right away and didn't lose again for 4 weeks, now I am 10 pounds from my goal weight and looking to run a half marathon. All you need to do is fight urges to fall back to your old ways, and when you feel like you can't do it alone turn to the mfp pals to help keep you on track. Just keep at it
  • DixiedoesMFP
    DixiedoesMFP Posts: 935 Member
    I have been on MFP for quite some time and the weight is coming off very slowly. Which really stinks because I gained it super fast. However, I know that the way I'm doing it can be maintained in the long run. I have room for treats so I don't feel deprived. The weight will come off. My concern is now that you have whacked your metabolism out so much with so few calories that you actually need to eat maintenance calories for about a week to reset it before you go back to having a deficit, but a much smaller one. Slow and steady.....it's not a race!
  • thatsnumberwang
    thatsnumberwang Posts: 398 Member
    Congratulations to you for trying to do this the healthy way. I'm noticing that you're still placing a lot of emphasis on losing weight, though -- you just want to be better at it. You can lose some weight and be in the healthy range, but for people who struggle with eating disorders, it's much healthier to try to refocus your energy onto health and treating your body well. You might consider seeing a therapist and talking through some of this. It would be a shame for you to put so much work into losing weight and still be unhappy with your body.
  • asmithson19
    asmithson19 Posts: 59
    Your story sounds so similar to what I have gone through over the past 10 years - I obsess with food, whether its not eating it or going through stages were I eat too much of it. (and then gain the weight back). Similar to your numbers (although I am Australian so I work in kilo's).
    After very rare sessions of eating too much for a few weeks I then cut down to 400ish cal's a day - I know it is bad for me but I know I will get results.... Although at day 10 of less than 500 consecutively I have plateaued and it's SO frustrating! When I read your post I was mid way through a text to my personal trainer about this eating problem I seem to be facing - I think what you are doing now "losing the 'proper' way" is the only way to do it - I had a stint about 12 months ago when I ate fantastically and trained 6 days a week and felt amazing - So please stick with it, coz doing it properly does work - and thank you for bringing up this topic coz it has helped me face what I am doing is bad for my body. I think 1000-1200 and cardio/training is achievable and not too bad for us.... That's what worked for me last time!
    I wish you all the best with your struggles because believe me, I feel your pain - This problem I have rules my life! :-(
  • sunflower01
    sunflower01 Posts: 17
    It's fantastic to hear that you're trying to loose weight the proper way. :smile:

    It's not going to be easy or an overnight miracle, but slow and steady will win the race so to speak. If you stay on the course of trying to loose weight with healthy eating and exercise it'll be that much easier to maintain your weight once you've hit your goal weight because you've made a permanant healthy lifestyle change!

    Please don't get discouraged, you're body has been through a lot and will need some time to adjust.

    I myself have been trying to loose weight for the past 3 years and would always loose and then gain it right back because I never really learned how to eat healthy. I've been slowly learning how to eat right to provide my body with enough good nutrients to be able to function on a day to basis and not constantly thinking about food.

    I know you can do it, just remember, don't think of it as going a diet, but instead, think of it as a healthy lifestyle change! Your body and mind will love you for it. :smile:
  • polkadots58
    polkadots58 Posts: 1
    get back into counseling and see what might be at the root of your purging and eating disorder. Look for Eating Disorders Anonymous groups, Overeaters Anonymous or some support group; it isn;t about the weight. Hang in there.
  • slrose
    slrose Posts: 164 Member
    hang in there lovely lady. if you eat right and exercise you will lose weight. it just just takes some time. concentrate on getting your body feeling REALLY good. internally and all first. once your insides feel content and you limbs feel strong, not much else will matter, AND im sure you will look like a million bucks too!
  • theroadto100
    theroadto100 Posts: 209 Member
    get back into counseling and see what might be at the root of your purging and eating disorder. Look for Eating Disorders Anonymous groups, Overeaters Anonymous or some support group; it isn;t about the weight. Hang in there.

    I don't ever purge or anything. I still never go about 1400 calories. But some days I'll eat nothing, then at dinner I might have fries or something, and I feel like my body clings to the fat in those fries. Then again, I might be totally wrong. I'm just having a hard time getting back on track and I guess my body isn't used to eating more than a few hundred calories a day, ya know?
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