stress from the unknown.

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shiseido_faerie
shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
edited October 2024 in Motivation and Support
So, I feel a little funny posting this here but here's what's up....

I'm 31 and I never got my drivers license. I know, right? It was just never a big deal, we never had a car growing up and there was always pretty good public transportation. Well...last year my bf convinced me to get my beginners, just a written test, no big deal, I did it. I haven't actually driven mind you, lol but I have the license!

So, now i'm to the point where I will be starting in-car lessons this weekend, and i'm freaking out a little about it. There's snow on the ground, it's slippery. Everyone tells me it's best to learn to drive in the snow because then any other time will be no trouble. I'm feeling silly for not knowing anything really, I mean I know the rules/signs/basic idea of how to drive, but I haven't done it, you know? There's just so much going on out there. I feel like I should know more of the how-to going into this lesson, though everyone assures me that no, they're there to teach me "how to", i'm not expected to know anything. I guess I don't like that I don't know what to expect exactly, and the unfamiliarity with driving combined with not knowing what i'm going to be doing is stressing me out....which makes me want to eat really bad things lol. I know this doesn't belong here really but I thought maybe if I got it out I might feel better. I have a feeling my stressing over this is going to be really embarrassing come the end of my lesson on Sunday, but right now i've got serious nerves!! Note to others...don't let your kids wait to get their license, it makes it much scarier when you're an adult!

Replies

  • LeahFerri
    LeahFerri Posts: 186 Member
    Um, it's definitely NOT better to learn in the snow. It adds a layer of variables on top of everything else there is complicated to do about driving a car! I've been driving for a few years now, in a mid-Atlantic state that gets plenty of snow, and my parents still prefer that I don't drive in snow if I can avoid it.
  • sandram82
    sandram82 Posts: 615 Member
    well.. Im 29 and only got my license about 1yr 1/2 ago... I know.. I am no better.. did the in school classes no problem.. then it was time to get behind the wheel.. panic attack.. it was also winter and snowing this time.. i thought surely the instructor would cancel.. nope.. so I got in .. went about 20kms an hr or less... and an hr later I was done.. after a few classes got more comfortable with it.. and I had to remind myself that I was doing it because I am now a single mom with a 1yr old.. surely I needed my license now to take him to the park and do the fun stuff.. Best decision ever.. we can go anywhere anytime and have lots of fun.. I know all to well how your feeling.. just go for it!!! You wont regret this decision I promise!!
  • RILEYRED
    RILEYRED Posts: 647 Member
    I didn't learn to drive till I was28,my kids were just starting school, and I couldn't depend on other people to always be available for an emergency. I wish I would have learned in the snow, cause30 years later, I am still afraid of snowy roads.You will do great, and before you know it,you will wonder how you ever lived without driving. Good luck. Red Let me know how you do!!
  • sandram82
    sandram82 Posts: 615 Member
    Um, it's definitely NOT better to learn in the snow. It adds a layer of variables on top of everything else there is complicated to do about driving a car! I've been driving for a few years now, in a mid-Atlantic state that gets plenty of snow, and my parents still prefer that I don't drive in snow if I can avoid it.

    Yes but learning in the winter with a well educated instructor sitting next to you is best.. if you learn in the summer and than get your license.. suddenly winter is here and your left alone driving in the snow with no clue how to handle things! Sorry I take winter learning anytime ...
  • shiseido_faerie
    shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
    Um, it's definitely NOT better to learn in the snow. It adds a layer of variables on top of everything else there is complicated to do about driving a car! I've been driving for a few years now, in a mid-Atlantic state that gets plenty of snow, and my parents still prefer that I don't drive in snow if I can avoid it.

    Yes but learning in the winter with a well educated instructor sitting next to you is best.. if you learn in the summer and than get your license.. suddenly winter is here and your left alone driving in the snow with no clue how to handle things! Sorry I take winter learning anytime ...

    Yes, it is with an actual driving instructor, not a friend or anything. I think that's what people meant, that it's better for me to deal with those variables with someone like that with me, rather than learn in the summer and be clueless and terrified when winter hits.
  • shiseido_faerie
    shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
    I didn't learn to drive till I was28,my kids were just starting school, and I couldn't depend on other people to always be available for an emergency. I wish I would have learned in the snow, cause30 years later, I am still afraid of snowy roads.You will do great, and before you know it,you will wonder how you ever lived without driving. Good luck. Red Let me know how you do!!

    Yes, I don't have children yet, but we've talked about it as something we'd like in the next few years, and that's when driving really started to come up as an issue for sure! Thank you for responding :) A lot of people tell me I won't know how I lived without it once I get going!
  • shiseido_faerie
    shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
    well.. Im 29 and only got my license about 1yr 1/2 ago... I know.. I am no better.. did the in school classes no problem.. then it was time to get behind the wheel.. panic attack.. it was also winter and snowing this time.. i thought surely the instructor would cancel.. nope.. so I got in .. went about 20kms an hr or less... and an hr later I was done.. after a few classes got more comfortable with it.. and I had to remind myself that I was doing it because I am now a single mom with a 1yr old.. surely I needed my license now to take him to the park and do the fun stuff.. Best decision ever.. we can go anywhere anytime and have lots of fun.. I know all to well how your feeling.. just go for it!!! You wont regret this decision I promise!!

    haha yeah the in-class, no problem! But that was back in November, i've been putting off the in-car since because it's so scary!! Thank you so much for your response, it makes me feel better that you experienced something similar.
  • Regmama
    Regmama Posts: 399 Member
    Um, it's definitely NOT better to learn in the snow. It adds a layer of variables on top of everything else there is complicated to do about driving a car! I've been driving for a few years now, in a mid-Atlantic state that gets plenty of snow, and my parents still prefer that I don't drive in snow if I can avoid it.
    When I learned I purposefully took my behind the wheel in winter so that I could learn in the worst conditions of snow and ice. My friends who learned in warmer climates were afraid to drive in winter because of their inexperience, whereas I was pretty confident. Yesterday I slid out a few times while driving through the winter storm but knew and did exactly what I was suppose to do. Last year I drove through a blizzard and though it was scarey, I made it through to my house. Snowy and icey conditions, imho, are the best time to learn with a professional.
  • nnapieralski
    nnapieralski Posts: 132 Member
    I learned how to drive in the snow. With a minivan. Relax and take it easy. You'll be just fine.
  • shiseido_faerie
    shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
    Thank you everyone :)
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    Um, it's definitely NOT better to learn in the snow. It adds a layer of variables on top of everything else there is complicated to do about driving a car! I've been driving for a few years now, in a mid-Atlantic state that gets plenty of snow, and my parents still prefer that I don't drive in snow if I can avoid it.

    I beg to differ.... our DMV actually prefers to see how people drive during their test in winter time because thats when you really need to harness the ability to maneuver your car, how to stabilize it when you make slippery turns, etc. Most parents WANT their teenaged children to learn to drive in wintry conditions because its the best way to show them the reality behind the wheel. It forces you to have to concentrate.

    Im 37, and there are times I have to turn the music off, and crack the windows a little bit for some cool air while I focus on driving. I need to be able to hear that rolling-engine that is stuck near me, and to avoid them if their car gets that blip of traction and then could potentially hit YOUR car in the process.

    My 18 yr old is taking driving lessons right now and she INSISTED on waiting until winter time - she knows the importance of being a defensive driver, but also being an informed driver as well. My husband is a trucker, and she has gone on trips with him to see the challenges HE faces as a truck driver - lets face it: he is a vehicular involuntary homicide waiting to happen just by being on the road in his truck for work.. so he is doubly careful as well - doing more calculations on when to brake more than us normal vehicle operators.


    To the OP:
    There is nothing to be ashamed of in getting your license at 31. Most people are without jobs or can barely find adequate paying jobs and it was easier to rely on public transportation due to lack of funds...

    The not-knowing is a normal fear of most people... but what I will tell you is this: Dont be your own enemy. Dont stress yourself out before you even get behind the wheel. Im sure your instructor will have you start small, and then work up the road-time...

    You truly ARE learning during the best time of the year.... I live in New Hampshire - and Im thankful I learned in the middle of a Nor'Easter... I have a much bigger appreciation for road ethics and safe driving after practicing in the middle of a storm....

    And its been almost a decade and I have had no accidents whatsoever!
  • shiseido_faerie
    shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
    cramernh - Thank you so much, hearing all of this has really helped me to feel less anxious, if fact I think I will read back through it all again on Sunday morning before I head out to remind myself not to be scared!
  • shiseido_faerie
    shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
    Thank you everyone for all your support ad encouragement, I went out today for my 2 hour lesson and...well it wasn't amazing, but he said I did pretty good for never having driven before so thats something, hopefully with a little more practice I'll feel much more comfortable for my next lesson.
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