Emotional eating...does it force me to eat or is it just an

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Hey guys....i would really enjoy some advice about this topic because it has been holding me back for some time now and I dont know how to get myself to go back to takeing care of myself again (healthy eating/exercise). I do get professional help for depression but i am starting to believe that food is my depressant. Its really confusing and frustrating how food can be my best friend and my worst enemy. If anyone can give me some advice about this topic that would be great! helpful tips would be great also! sorry the title is too long the last word is supposed to be excuse.

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  • carlafreeman
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    Great topic!! All though I really have no advice....sorry. I have and do experience emotional eating at times. I eat for everything!!! Happy, sad, mad, glad, frustrated....if there is an emotion....more than likely I have ate for it! Food is my comfort in whatever the situation.

    Thanks for posting this. I would love some info too!!
  • lenmana
    lenmana Posts: 171
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    I know I still struggle with it, but it does get better.

    *Applaud yourself when you do make a good choice
    *Read some books/magazines on healthy living (train the brain)
    *Drink hot tea
    *Set mini-goals
    *Replace emotional eating with at least healthier alternatives at 1st and then work your way down to just not feeding into it (literally and figuratively)

    Some of this has really helped me....that and everyday is a new day. Make yourself exercise no excuses. I try to think of my exercise as non-negotiable. You'll never walk out feeling worse.

    Go get 'em!
  • lisamgould
    lisamgould Posts: 68
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    Emotional eating is a tough issue. Food makes you feel good instantly but then it turns on you and makes you feel horrible. The results of it is usually extra weight which also makes you feel horrible. You try not to eat when you feel sad but the desire can be so stong that you cannot help yourself...then you feel weak and ashamed that you cannot control yourself.
    The fact is that you can control yourself....you just have to believe that you can. You need someone who you can call on when you feel weak. If that person is not available then you need to be able to turn in to yourself and make a healthy choice. The food is your addiction, it is no different than drugs or alcohol and should be treated the same way.
    It is a tough battle ..but it can be beat and the strength to beat it is inside of you. As your self esteem grows so will your ability to control your desire.
    You said you are getting help for depession..that is a good step.. talk to your therapist about how to overcome addiction. Take control of your health and you will be strong enough to beat anything that comes along.
  • karissastephens
    karissastephens Posts: 324 Member
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    I am wondering if I myself eat emotionally. The thing is i just LOVE food. EVen when im not hungry ill eat a food that looks or smells good. Its terrible. But maybe instead of eating go for a nice walk or i always make a healthy smoothie. Use fat free frozen yogurt and some fruit. That way you have to comfort of yummy icecream but its healthy!

    But the best advice I have ever gotten was going on a nice walk :] Call a friend or family member to go with you so u have someone to talk to!
  • ladonna007
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    :brokenheart: Why are you depressed? Food in some cases is very helpful in replacing a sense of fulfillment. If you do not feel good about yourself or you have low self esteem. Food can give you a moment when you feel good inside but just like any addiction it also needs to be fed. Once you have made food your drug then the real trouble begins. Your weight gain will cause you to feel even lower then you already feel. Your Mental Health is a area you should focus on to avoid eatting to feel good. I think you already know this inside your mind you just need someone else to help conferm?
    Good luck!!!
    Donna Bridges
  • alliejo
    alliejo Posts: 23
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    thanks for all the advice guys! i appreciate it!
  • adopt4
    adopt4 Posts: 970 Member
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    You have hit it on the nose - it's instantly rewarding but also makes you sick if you're eating the wrong types of foods. We saw this in our famly about a month after we started eating healthy (and I'm not talking clean or organic or whatever, just healthier) and then had a bday where we had chocolate cake. Hubby and I were sicker than a dog after eating a slice of cake! We couldn't believe that we used to eat like that all the time, didn't realize how it sapped our energy.

    We have come back around to the point where we can have a treat like that once in a while and it won't make us sick if depending on what we eat with it...

    You can't just "stop" a behavior or a comfort thing. You have to replace it with something else. Replace it with celery, raw carrots, sliced cucumbers.. those are all foods that actually use more calories to digest than what's in them. Once you're replaced the behavior with something healthy that will not harm your body, then you need to look at the triggers and so some deep self reflection and be able to work thru those issues. That may take a long time, or it may be a "when I'm stressed I want french fries".

    Good luck on this journey.
  • onfleur
    onfleur Posts: 159 Member
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    Emotional Eating . . . . Think about it, food is ever bit as addictive as drugs & alcohol. The scary thing is. . . we need food to live. It is indeed a challenge. I have great difficulty with emotional eating at times and absolutely hate it. My 'Drug of Choice' tonight is a macadamia nut chocolate chip cookie but have mad the wiser choice to have a 1/2 cup of crisp Snow peas instead even though hear those cookies screaming my name.

    Were in it together:ohwell:
  • alliejo
    alliejo Posts: 23
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    yes we are all in this together....its easy to feel alone with this battle with food that i have...it would be so lovely if junk food was never invented!!! think of how healthy most of us would be!!!! Our kids too..its sad to hear about the obesity in kids....too much junk food out there!!!
  • lawkat
    lawkat Posts: 538 Member
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    Emotional eating is not easy to conquer. I struggle with it, but it does get easier. What I found is that you have to acknolwedge what emotion you are feeling and why you think eating will make that emotion go away. I found that after a stressful day of work, all I wanted to do was eat lots of carbs. I had to stop myself and think, "is this really going to make me feel better, or make me feel worse?" I found it would be the latter. When I first started changing my eating habits, I really noticed how much of an emotional eater I was. It wasn't even about being hungry, but just to fill this void and enjoy really bad foods.

    Like I said, the best thing to do is acknolwedge the emotion before you eat. Then decide whether eating will make that emotion go away and you feel better. It won't. Trust me. Don't try to distract yourself from dealing with the emotion. Deal with it and then try to move on. It is better to face what is bothering you than letting it fester and make matters worse. Going for a walk or exercising is a good way to deal with certain emotions.

    It is a long road and it won't happen overnight. I still have days where I think "I could really go for X" but that is due to a particular unpleasant emotion I am feeling.
  • Nlongenecker
    Nlongenecker Posts: 765
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    I found this article. Hopefully it is helpful. Please know you're not alone. I think just about everyone that has a weight problem has struggled with emotional eating on some level.

    The Basics of Emotional Eating
    Learn why you eat when you may not be hungry, with Dr. Roger Gould, author of Shrink Yourself
    By Jennifer Allen , Jennifer Allen is Project Editor at Prevention.com

    Dr. Gould was a guest on our Emotional Eating forum recently: click here to read his candid, thoughtful responses to questions posted by readers. To read an excerpt of Shrink Yourself, click here.

    What is emotional eating?
    Using food as a form of relief or reward and eating when you're upset, stressed, angry, tired, bored or sad. Emotional eating is using food too often to make yourself feel better.

    For emotional eaters, eating serves a psychological, as opposed to a biological, purpose. As long as you use food to control your emotions, you can't control your weight for very long.

    How common is emotional eating?
    Everyone eats for emotional reasons once in a while, but when you habitually use food to deal with being upset rather than dealing directly with what is bothering you, you won't be able to separate physical hunger from an unrelenting emotional hunger.

    You may lose weight for a little bit, but you'll regain it when life throws you a curve ball.

    Why do you think we eat emotionally?
    We eat for relief and reward, because we've learned to rely on food to balance our emotional lives. We eat as a substitute for doing the sometimes frightening and difficult work of facing our feelings and taking risks.

    We're afraid to let go of this emotional eating pattern because we're not sure we can learn other ways to manage our feelings. But of course, we can learn better ways to deal with life's challenges, which is the key to unlearning emotional eating.

    What is a food trance?
    You talk about a "food trance" in your book. What is that?
    It is the pleasurable feeling that food provides. Food becomes enticing because it's transformed into a form of escape that works immediately.

    What people don't realize is that this escape is addictive. We pay a high price for a very brief respite from stress.

    What is your advice to emotional eaters?
    You must prove to yourself that you can manage uncomfortable feelings in ways that don't include the negative backlash that food does.

    Start from the surface by observing what turns your hunger switch on, and pause long enough to think about what you're really hungry for, and whether there's a better way than food to get it.

    In your book you mention that using food to deal with feelings creates a vicious cycle. What does that mean?
    A person feels bad about something, and she eats to feel better. She does feel better for a little while, but then she feels guilty and disgusted with the fact that she's overeaten and sabotaged her efforts to lose weight, which makes her feel a need to eat to feel better.

    How does powerlessness affect emotional eating?
    What does feeling powerless have to do with emotional eating?
    When you feel powerless to effect real change in your life, the hunger switch gets turned on. Feeling powerless is so intolerable that it sends people looking for a quick fix. And food is a readily accessible and legal way to cope with that feeling.

    Are the underlying issues behind emotional eating the same for someone who has spent a lifetime battling obesity, and someone who just needs to lose 5, 10, 20 pounds?
    The core issue of using food as an emotional prop is the same. But if a person has had a weight problem since childhood, or has become obese, deeper reasons are at play.

    Once a person becomes overweight, the label can become part of her identity, and it makes her feel safe to stay that way, whereas becoming fit actually makes her temporarily anxious, and drives her back to overeating in order to get "fat-safe" again.

    Many people carry emotional baggage, but not all of these people turn to food for comfort. Why some and not others? It is not a matter of past history or emotional baggage; it's about overusing a bad mental habit of avoidance through food.

    Some people avoid dealing with their life issues through substance abuse or distractions.

    We must learn to stop using these avoidance mechanisms, and instead use the best and smartest part of our mind to deal with the many challenges of life that require us to solve problems, adapt, and take the risks necessary to make our lives work well.

    Why can't we lose weight with diet alone?
    For emotional eaters, why doesn't diet alone work for weight loss?
    Emotional eaters cannot adhere to a diet for very long because they feel compelled to use food to manage their emotions.

    That's when people break their diet and end up gaining 10 percent more than they lost, so their weight keeps increasing.

    If dieters have a habit of using food to manage emotions, it is only a matter of time before they have a feeling that requires food to manage. That's why the message in Shrink Yourself is so critical to being able to make healthy food choices.

    You say weight loss is not just about food. Why?
    Weight loss is about how you live your life. Making healthy food choices is a natural offshoot of that.

    When you eat to fill yourself up emotionally, you won't ever get enough food because food can't satisfy emotional hunger.

    What's the way to recovery?
    First, recognize that emotional eating is an unhealthy habit you must address. By using the practices and insights in Shrink Yourself, you'll realize that you don't really NEED food in the way that you think you do.

    For more information on Dr. Roger Gould or Shrink Yourself, visit shrinkyourself.com.
  • Nlongenecker
    Nlongenecker Posts: 765
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    Here is something else I found:

    Week 7: Eat for the Right Reasons

    Stop overeating once and for all by changing your relationship with food
    Cake on birthdays, ice cream after breakups, and casseroles for sick friends: Throughout our lives we are taught to celebrate and comfort others or ourselves with food. Stress and emotional eating go hand-in-hand.


    "Being brought up this way makes it hard to see food as just food," says nutritionist Cynthia Sass, RD, MPH, who designed Prevention's 8-week healthy eating program. As a result eating often becomes paired with our emotions of happiness or sadness.


    Luckily, it is never too late to change your emtional eating habits. By learning to recognize why you eat what and when you do, you can begin to develop a healthy relationship with food.


    Print this week's program to pin on your fridge.

    Monday
    Are you aware of your emotions when you eat? Some people know they're reaching for food because they are angry or sad, while others only realize why they ate after the fact. If you're unsure, start keeping a food and emotions journal. Write down what, where, and how much you ate, along with how you were feeling before, during and after. You might be surprised what you learn.

    Tuesday
    Understanding how food and your feelings are connected is an important key to breaking the emotional eating cycle. Try this exercise to learn more about your emotional ties to food. Complete this sentence: when I'm upset, eating makes me feel (list all that comes to mind). This exercise will help you understand what emotional eating gives you. In order to stop using food to feel a certain way, you must find other ways to meet these needs.

    Wednesday
    How in tune with your body signals are you? Do you know what hunger and fullness feel like? Becoming more aware of these signals can help you distinguish a physical need for food from an emotional eating need. If you find yourself thinking about food, check in with your body. If there are no hunger signals, ask yourself how you're feeling emotionally, and what you can do to feel better that doesn't involve eating.

    Thursday: How to avoid stress eating.
    Is stress one of the main reasons you eat? Preventing stress from building up is one strategy for reducing the need to use food to cope. Think of a scale from 1-10, with ten being the highest degree of stress. Check in with your stress level each day. Try not to let it climb above a 5 by using stress management techniques to reduce the build-up: deep breathing, walking, stretching, and reaching out to friends.

    Friday
    Practice mindful eating. When you're distracted by the television, computer, or newspaper, it's harder to pay attention to how much and how fast you're eating. Try eating one meal a day without any distractions. Focus instead on the pace of your eating, the taste and texture, how full you are, and what you're feeling emotionally. Simply slowing down when you eat can help you be more aware of how your emotions are impacting how much and how fast you eat. Put your fork, spoon or food down between each bite, take a deep breath, and relax while you eat. If you find yourself wanting to eat faster, try to figure out what's bothering you and what you can do about it.

    Saturday
    How aware are you of your mind/body connection? Emotions create physical symptoms in our bodies such as neck or back pain, headaches, jaw pain, chest tightening, or stomach pain. You may also find yourself biting your nails, tugging on your hair, or biting your lip when your emotions run high. Tuning into these signs can help you identify the need for a healthy outlet. If stress tends to strike you at work, create an "anti-stress kit." It might include an MP3 player loaded with a 5-minute guided mediation or other relaxing music, a pair of walking shoes for walking off tension during your break, or a novel you can read 5-10 pages of at lunch. Simply giving yourself a mini-vacation in the middle of your day can help you avoid turning to food.

    Sunday
    Do you suffer from "yesism" -- the inability to say no? Not being able to set boundaries can make you turn to food as an outlet, or for comfort. Try setting a goal of politely saying "no" the next time you're asked to take on any additional responsibilities. When you find your stress level rising, and your thoughts turning toward food, try a visualization exercise. Close your eyes and take yourself to a relaxing setting; perhaps a past vacation spot. Simply visualizing a calming environment can reduce your tension and help you get through the day without needing to turn to emotional eating.
  • JoyousMaximus
    JoyousMaximus Posts: 9,285 Member
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    This may sound bad but I stopped emotional eating when I was put on anti-anxiety medication. I was put on it for other reasons and that was just a side benefit but it really helps with it.
  • paddlemom
    paddlemom Posts: 682 Member
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    Friday
    Practice mindful eating. When you're distracted by the television, computer, or newspaper, it's harder to pay attention to how much and how fast you're eating. Try eating one meal a day without any distractions. Focus instead on the pace of your eating, the taste and texture, how full you are, and what you're feeling emotionally. Simply slowing down when you eat can help you be more aware of how your emotions are impacting how much and how fast you eat. Put your fork, spoon or food down between each bite, take a deep breath, and relax while you eat. If you find yourself wanting to eat faster, try to figure out what's bothering you and what you can do about it.

    This was a particularly important hurdle for me to overcome. I would pay so little attention to what I was eating that I either totally forgot that I had already eaten (ie. come home from shopping thinking that I needed to have lunch when I had already grabbed a burger while I was out!) or as I was eating one thing, I would be thinking about the next thing I wanted to eat!

    While logging my calories certainly helped, it was more critically important for me to begin eating slowly, savouring my food one bite at a time and totally acknowledging what I was eating at that moment I found that by doing this I was satisfied with what I was eating and tended to stop searching for the next best thing! It helped with the emotional eating a lot, if only to feel satisfied by one food distraction rather than several.

    The second thing I did was to create for myself a list of alternatives to eating. Do this in advance, so you have a 'pick list' of strategies. It's great to say go for a walk, or exercise, but sometimes you either can't or don't want to do that and then you don't have any other choices in your grab bag of distractions. Make a long list so that there will be something to do that either appeals to you or feels like the 'lesser evil" Some times all you need to do is get your hands busy, or take your mind off of eating for just a few minutes, until you can regroup and carry on.

    Some of my choices - brush your teeth, chew gum, read a magazine, listen to a CD, call a friend, pick up my knitting, web surf, unload the dishwasher, fold the laundry, go outside, have a glass of water, do a puzzle, write a letter, do yoga breathing....you get the idea. it doesn't always have to be about a fitness activity, just a NOT eating one :bigsmile:

    Lastly, relinquish ownership of your food! I really suffered from food envy....If I saw someone eating something good, I wanted it. If I bought a chocolate bar and my DH wanted a bite, I would really be resentful. (He is big on "No, I don't want one, I'll just have a bite of yours....."). My defining moment was the day I got raging angry cause he reached into my can of carmel corn without asking and took the "big chunk" that I was "saving"! I suddenly realized that it was rediculous to have that much anger over sharing popcorn!!!! It's been hard, but I keep telling myself that food is not a metaphore - Get a life, not a cookie!

    It's a journey, not a quick fix, but keep reaching out to groups like this and you will find the strategies that work for you. Just keep reminding yourself of the reasons you want to do this and that you are worth it. We think so too!!!:flowerforyou:
  • MacMadame
    MacMadame Posts: 1,893 Member
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    I recommend The Food and Feelings Book by Karen R. Koenig. It's a workbook and you can use it inconjunction with your therapy or stand-alone.
  • winglem
    winglem Posts: 16 Member
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    In my opinion everyone that is overweight is emotional eating. Your body only wants so much but your mind keeps you eating. That is emotional! I think you can't fix the eating until you figure out the emotion. There may not be a big ahah! But, if we stop for a second and work on one then the other can work out as well. I have started a blog for just this concept. These ideas have been the key for me. Let the "mind clicks" be the goal, not the weight loss!

    http://thoughtstothin.blogspot.com/