Indecency in the gym

So this morning at around 5:30am I head to the gym for strength training and a little cardio. Laying on the weight bench I look to my left and see an attractive man, most likely in his mid-forties, doing some squats. As he is lowering into the squat I notice that a huge fluff of his short and curlies are creeping out of his shorts......eeeeeewwwwwww! I was really at a loss as to what to say to him (for those of you that know me, you realize this was a struggle). So, I composed the following letter to get this off my chest. Please note that he will not actually receive this letter, this is for therapeutic reasons

Dear Innappropriate -

I realize that we are utter strangers but I felt the need to write this letter because we share space and equipment three to four days a week and I would like it to be a pleasent experience for both of us. Let me get right to the point as beating around the bush is absolutely pointless (excuse the pun).

During your workout this morning a large portion of your man-fur was peeking out of the top of your shorts. As I did not see any evidence of plumbers crack on the back end, I can only assume that it has been a while (if ever) since you have manscaped. If you are unaware of this phenomenon, let me explain. This is the regular maintenance (trimming and such) of your special area. I realize this is not really my business as I am not your life partner or the woman assigned to searching your rainforrest for "special fruits", but we do share gym equipment. To be quite frank, it is quite creepy (and distracting) to have your man-mane in my line of vision whilst trying to lift heavy objects. I am here to help! Below are my suggestions -

1. Buy a smaller sized gym short so they do not sag and therefore make your special tresses more visible.

2. Put on some UNDERWEAR if you are not going to manscape.

3. I notice that you shave your face. This is the same tool that you would use to trim above mentioned hair, although with your length I would suggest scissors first.

4. If you need contact information for someone that waxes, let me know. My girl does a great job. She is reasonable, sweet and does not judge.

PLease know that this is not meant to embarrass. These are simply suggestions to help make our encounters at the gym more sanitary and less awkward. So please, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY please take care of this before it becomes a real problem.

Sincerely,

The brunette that almost dropped 40lbs on her chest out of sheer astonishment.