No Support :(

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  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    and that i can do it on my own.
    This sounds supportive.
    he said that as long as i eat healthy and go to the gym every day ill be all set.
    And this sounds oversimplified. If you don't know what "healthy" is, you do need to see a nutritionist. It's possible to eat too many calories and still be healthy.
    Which he's also told me that going to therapy and having depression and anxiety is crap as well.

    Why does this person's opinion matter more to you than your own? And why don't you feel strong enough to get going without his encouragement? Why do you need support to the effect that this person agrees with everything you do to lose weight? Just stuff for you to ponder alone. I'm not going to check back for answers.

    The social aspects of MFP are how you create a circle of people who are doing what you're doing and creates the environment of health that many people lack in their real-lives.

    Most people don't keep the weight off due to the unresolved issues that caused them to gain weight in the first place. So thumbs-down to your "support system's" advice on therapy as well.

    Time for you to break away and stand up on your own. You know you can do it.
  • yoga4rkids
    yoga4rkids Posts: 4
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    Get to know yourself so that it becomes second nature to want to care for yourself which includes making better food choices and exercising. Education about nutrtion can be very helpful. You may come out with some new ideas that work for you.
    Concentrate on taking care of yourself regardless of what someone else said.

    Good luck! Learn what you can so you can reach your goals :smile:
  • sagetracey
    sagetracey Posts: 607 Member
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    I'm sad that your other half is having such a negative impact on your health. You know that you need help to improve your health and there is nothing wrong with going out and getting that help. In fact, I see it as a very positive step for you.

    Would your partner say that it is crap to get a trained mechanic to work on his car? I doubt it! He would most likely be happy or even prefer to have an expert dealing with something specialised like that.

    Your body is even more important and more specialised than a car, plus you can't go out and buy a new one if it breaks down, so please take care of yourself.
  • fionat29
    fionat29 Posts: 717 Member
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    It's probably not for me to comment, but you've put it out there, right? I don't think the person you love is actually loving you much right now. I think they are too selfish to think what might me best for you and I think you would be better of without such an unsupportive jerk! Go see the nutritionist. They are trained to help in these situations, take their advice.
  • spectralmoon
    spectralmoon Posts: 1,230 Member
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    Some people have strong opinions on things they believe to be right, whether they've experienced them or not. If this is what he believes, there may not be much aside from statistics that you can do to change his mind. But his opinion isn't really the question here.

    If you think that a nutritionist can help you and motivate you on your way, and it won't hurt you financially or make your guy uncomfortable (irritated that you're going to a "quack" is different than him feeling pushed aside), and it's not hurting anyone to do so, then I don't see a problem with going.
  • sarahkatara
    sarahkatara Posts: 826 Member
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    Polly is right on. My nutritionist listens to my concerns and she helps me come up with ideas that fit into MY life. It's a great sounnding board for any questions or advice.

    Also, even if your boyfriend is trying to be "supportive" you may want to ask him to not be negative when it comes to the things the doctors recommend. This is for you and only you. Just because he thinks you don't need any of that is not a good reason not try it out. If he keeps up the attitude then it's time to have a serious talk about how to best to help you as you go through this journey!

    Best of luck to you- please add me if you'd like. :happy:
  • Adventurehuntress
    Adventurehuntress Posts: 10 Member
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    I have struggled with depression and anxiety. I have also sought counseling and have been on meds in the past. I think sometimes people who don't understand your struggles also don't believe in things such as seeing a counselor, nutritionist, and being on medication. But they are very helpful to become a better, stronger you.

    Honestly you have to take care of yourself and do what makes you happy! If need support feel free to add me!
  • goingbicyclecrazy
    goingbicyclecrazy Posts: 20
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    If I could afford a nutritionist I would go see one. :happy:
  • amoffatt
    amoffatt Posts: 674 Member
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    I think it depends on the nutritionist and what each person learns from them. My husband said he learned more about healthy eating from his cario rehab nurse than the nutritionist and that the nutritionist spent more time downing his eating habits then helping him. I havent seen one and heard ok reviews on them, but it doesnt hurt to try to see what they have to offer. Good luck.
  • Apazman
    Apazman Posts: 494 Member
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    hmm .. I kind of agree with the Evil Loved One in a way. I have been depressed many times, I an get into this cycle of feeling bad and self-destructive behavior, and then more depressed .. ect.,

    Until i realized, You can be the thermometer, or the thermostat, You can either be a victim of your environment or you can control it. Either way .. its up to you to make a change.

    Its harder to do than it is to say of course and people react differently to different approaches.

    Some people want to be told what to do in a real black and white, binary way.

    Others need that support first and discussion to analyze things before making changes.

    Nutritionist and Therapy will help arm you with the tools you can use to make better decisions day to day. That's what they do :)
  • SteffieSunshine
    SteffieSunshine Posts: 61 Member
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    You should definitely see a nutritionist! I think that you can gain the tools you need to take charge of your weight loss and health, and you would be surprised how that can boost your mood. Therapy is helpful, and it doesn't hurt to try it.

    Find your support here, in others that are struggling...just like you. You aren't alone! :)
  • mamatoboys6219
    mamatoboys6219 Posts: 75 Member
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    Hello Jessica,

    I understand the depression, I understand having no support. I understand feeling alone in this. One thing you cant change is how your loved one feels about a nutritionist. I am sure he is just giving his opinion about matters. You can take his advice or not. You do what YOU feel like you need to do. Personally, Id love to go see a nutritionist. They obviously know more than us or we wouldnt all be fat and trying to lose weight. Do you know what you have power over? YOU and the way YOU feel. It is difficult to try and lose weight when you feel down and depressed. I will tell you that I have found out that exercise releases endorphin's that make you feel better :) And that is a fact! Try it for a week, work out just 20-30 min everyday and see if you can tell a difference, that and along with a good diet. There are tons of websites and recipes out there that can help you. I am here always to help, a listening ear or whatever. I am just starting this program and so far I have found the best people, JUST LIKE ME on here. :) Add me and we can help each other..you can have tons of support on here anytime!
  • Jeckia
    Jeckia Posts: 77 Member
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    Thank you everyone for your support and comments. It makes me feel good to know that there are so many of you out there willing to give me a good push!

    It truly means a lot.

    also the person who said that it was crap, must have realized what they said was wrong and apologized afterwards and said they knew what they said was very hurtful and is going to try and be more supportive.

    Who knows.

    All I know is Thank you all very much again for being my friends! <3
  • hollymeeker
    hollymeeker Posts: 38
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    Please go seek help! Coming from someone who has depression, it can get ugly quick. Doctor's are there for you and can help you. I didn't seek help at first because I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy. Seeing a doctor was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I was put on some medicine and feel better.

    Nutritionists are very kind and caring, its what they do. My Mom went to see one before she had gastric bypass and she was the most kind person I've ever met. She was full of knowledge and was very happy to help my Momma.

    Sometimes, we don't get the support from the ones you love. That's what we're here for! The doctors, nutritionists are all here to help us.

    I started working out and using MFP in mid-November and have lost 17 pounds. Working out really does help with depression. I feel great! I still take my medicine too.

    Anyways, friend request me and I'll be happy to support you!
  • Terasome
    Terasome Posts: 3,808 Member
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    Thank you everyone for your support and comments. It makes me feel good to know that there are so many of you out there willing to give me a good push!

    It truly means a lot.

    also the person who said that it was crap, must have realized what they said was wrong and apologized afterwards and said they knew what they said was very hurtful and is going to try and be more supportive.

    Who knows.

    All I know is Thank you all very much again for being my friends! <3

    I'm glad he has realised how wrong he sounded to you. Just a thought too, it appears your boyfriend may have a weight issue also going by your photo. Could he be feeling insecure in himself that if you lose your weight , he might lose you? That you might be more attractive to other men and leave him. I had a friend in a similar situation. Her husband was very insecure about her losing weight. They talked about it and everything was sorted out. Just a thought :smile:
  • Elbita
    Elbita Posts: 13
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    Girl, go to the nutritionist. Just give it a try, won't hurt you to see what advice they have for you.

    I'm a physical therapist in a hospital and work with them all the time, the nutritionist girls that I work with are really sweet and nice, and know what they're talking about. Hopefully, you'll find a good one, that said I have not found a bad one yet.

    You can do this girl!!!!


    P.S. Tell you loved one to quit being an *kitten* :wink:
  • Ianultrarunner
    Ianultrarunner Posts: 184 Member
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    Go see a good nutritionist.
    By that I mean one who doesn't have an agenda to push particular products but goes by nutrients and numbers.
    They'll suggest what you might try but not force you in a particular direction.
    Also, unless that way inclined, avoid ones that might suggest you become vegan or some such.
    You should be comfortable with what you eat and not feel compelled to follow each microdot of what they say.
  • pmdhardy
    pmdhardy Posts: 40 Member
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    You do have support, I am sure everyone on here are supporting.. We are all here for the same reasons... to get motivated for healthy eating and to get in shape. And you really have to do this for yourself. I am struggled with my weight up and down all my life and only joined here 2 days ago.. allready I have had support from people I have never seen or spoke to before.. so hang in there and vent whenever you can. I will listen and so will everyone else.. You can do this!!!

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