Do you know someone like this...?
kailysimpson
Posts: 56
I know someone, someone close to me (family) who just makes me crazy! She weighs maybe 120 on a bad day, is taller than me (I'm 5'7), and constantly is "dieting" and complaining about how fat she is, and how much dieting sucks, etc. but she doesn't eat. Today she was whining about how 1 scrambled egg isn't filling enough for breakfast, but it "has enough calories in it for a whole meal" - 1 large egg is like 90 calories. If she is eating 90 calories per meal, she certainly is not eating enough.... but dear GOD don't tell her that!!! :noway: :sick: I have tried to invite her to MFP but I think she sees it as a place for us hugely fat people who have a "real" problem :grumble: She has been accused by other family members in the past of being annorexic, but she gets really upset and denies denies denies. I think I personally am just sick of looking at her beautiful, tall, skinny @ss and hearing her constant "I'm fat" garbage. To me, of all people. :laugh: :sick: I could understand if she felt her body could use improvement, or more muscle tone, or just better in-shape in general, everyone has things they desire to improve about themselves no matter their fitness/weight level - and that's fine but OMG the constant "I'm fat" "I'm hungry" "This sucks" just makes me want to smash my head into something hard. :sick: :sick:
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Replies
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My best friend is 5'8'' and 115 pounds, all bones. She always says "i can't fit my fat *kitten* into my size 4 jeans... and it makes me wanna puke.0
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Sounds like she has bad body image and possibly an eating disorder...OR she could be looking for attention eiter way doesnt sound too fun.0
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Omg, I know this all too well. Even when someone is small, they still have things they want to change, but I don't see it as someone being fat, or even worth complaining about.
People don't realize that they need to FEED their bodies in order to get the results that they want.0 -
Keep the focus on yourself and stop dwelling on this other person. Simple as that.0
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My mom is kinda like this, she is constantly telling me she needs to eat more because she's so skinny...and Im like really mom im working my butt off to lose weight and you're complaining that you need to eat more!!!! The other day I just told her to eat a biscuit and shutup...that didnt blow over very well! I guess we all have our own body image issues whether we are overweight or underweight or virtually perfect. All you can do is give her pointers and be supportive as hard and annoying as that may be!0
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Some people do it for attention. Next time she says how fat she is- say " yes you are huge" and then walk away0
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My mother complained about her weight all the time. Always has. Finally, one of her friends drug her along to WW and they refused to let her join because she was underweight. She still complained * rollseyes* but I agree with others, it sounds like an eating disorder, body image disorder or attention seeking.0
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I used to let these kinds of things frustrate me SO much, but have since then realized that it doesn't help me move forward in my own progress at all. You'll be much happier if you decide to totally focus on improving yourself
Let other people do and say what they want, and, if it annoys you, just let it go! 0 -
Omg, I know this all too well. Even when someone is small, they still have things they want to change, but I don't see it as someone being fat, or even worth complaining about.
People don't realize that they need to FEED their bodies in order to get the results that they want.
Tell them they are going to starve. No kidding. My poor girlfriend is very sick, the doctors are idiots, but she is 80 pounds. If she cant eat soon she is going to die.0 -
Maybe in HER mind, she truly feels this way ( possibly an eating disorder? )
Don't let it bother you. You never know what's going on with another person. We can only look after ourselves.0 -
I have a friend who is a "recovered anorexic" and she drives me nucking futs!!! Some people are mental, just ignore her psycho babble and try to be nice. When all else fails remind yourself that you would never be a 120lb whiny beyotch because you have MFP and wouldn't starve yourself like an idiot! She is missing out by not getting on MFP.0
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How far can she run? How long can she run for? How much weight can she lift? ....0
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I have a cousin who does this. We were out shopping one day getting ideas for her prom dress, and while in the dressing room she kept saying she looked to fat, and the girl helping her was clearly larger than us, maybe a size 10 or so. I had to tell her when we left that she can't be making comments like that, especially in front of people that are larger than her. For all we know that could have hurt the sales girl's feelings.0
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I'm under 120 and do the same thing. I try not to do it too much around my bf and if i do we kind of joke about it. Like I will say "GAH i have been sitting on my FAT *kitten* all day long. Time to move" And we laugh. Usually I am being serious
Thinner people are insecure too. Many think that food is the enemy. Somedays I feel like the fattest person out there. Others I walk around like a boss.0 -
I work wit a woman who's short (maybe 5'2" tops!) and tiny. Like size 4, but upset that she wasn't a size 2 tiny. We had a WW at work session a few years ago, and my jaw almost hit the floor that she wanted to join to lose the last 5 lb. she had gained during a pregnancy. Fortunately, IMO, she was told she'd need a Dr.'s note b/c she already weighed less than the minimum BMI = 20 per WW guidelines.
She didn't seem anorexic though, it seemed like the exact opposite. She could wolf down a footlong meatball sub with cheese or similar lunch on a regular basis, and was STILL tiny, despite her calorie intake. (I admittedly have no idea what else she ate).
She never did go back with a Dr. note, so I'm guessing she either got over it, or lost the 5 lb. on her own. I was relieved as anything she wasn't part of that WW group though.0 -
I know this girl that is around 5'3" and weighs MAYBE 95 lbs. She too is constantly talking about how fat she is and how terrible she looks. She eats, but not a lot. Her family has been concerned in the past of her being anorexic. She actually had to have a surgery about 2 years ago and the doctors were afraid to operate on her until she got up to at least 100 lbs. SMH...There is also this woman that i have classes with, and she is about 5'5" and probably 130-140 and she too is always talking about how big her stomach is and how her clothes don't fit right. Well from where I'm standing, it looks like they don't fit right because they are falling off of your behind! These people frustrate the heck out of me too. I often say to people, that are obviously not fat but complain about being fat, I WISH I were as fat as you are.0
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I don't know anyone like THAT, but hey it could be an inspiration to make you throw-up and then you can have an eating disorder too (just kidding of course). Next time agree with her and tell her she should really cut back as she is getting a bit pudgy (lol).
You may notice that I am suggesting that you apply humour to this relationship or it is going to drive you to some dreaded behaviour like eating poutine.0 -
I used to know someone like this. I told my boyfriend I think it is plain rude to go on and on about this to someone who clearly weighs more than you or is just plain overweight. I mean come one. So if you think that about yourself then I must be a flipping cow to you!
Just keep your eyes on your goals and tune that whinny little girl out!
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Also a lot of thinner people who complain about their weight do NOT think that people bigger than them are cows or disgusting. I see friends bigger than me and have absolutely no problem whatsoever. I am only concerned about myself. I know many others who are the same0
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haha I had a friend like that in college. She was always asking, "does this make me look fat" and she was a size 4! :grumble:
One day I snapped and responded back with, "YOU LOOK LIKE A F#@CK$NG BEACHED WHALE! How can you possible consider wearing that in public?! The aquarium called because they're missing shamu."
She never asked for my opinion again :laugh:0 -
I hear ya there. I know several people like this and they are skinny and they drive me crazy!!0
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haha I had a friend like that in college. She was always asking, "does this make me look fat" and she was a size 4! :grumble:
One day I snapped and responded back with, "YOU LOOK LIKE A F#@CK$NG BEACHED WHALE! How can you possible consider wearing that in public?! The aquarium called because they're missing shamu."
She never asked for my opinion again :laugh:
This made me laugh. lol0 -
Sometimes when someone looks in the mirror they dotn see what we do! deep routed insecurities come out in all kinds of ways. whatever you do dont make her feel stupid for how she behaves, or tell her shes imagining it, i would tread carefullly, as much as it irritates you, you need to find out WHY she behaves this way0
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She's probably just jealous of you and trying to sabatoge you.0
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Sounds like some serious body image problems going on - how sad for her. Eating disorders definitely affect more than the person going through them - friends and loved ones wind up watching and shaking their heads as the person piles on the self-loathing and self-destructive behaviors...and until they want help, there's nothing you can say that will really hit home.
So - don't say anything. Redirect the conversations. It's not about how she looks compared to you, it's about how she thinks she looks. If she specifically asks how you think she looks, say "I'm not going to have this conversation because I don't think you're ready to hear me." And change the subject.0 -
I'm wondering, has she ever been overweight before? Maybe she thinks she still looks big like before. Or like everyone else had said she could be seeking attention or have serious issues. Either way I feel bad for her.0
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I had a friend like this in college who was maybe about 115-120 soaking wet, and constantly complained about being so gross and fat looking. It hurt my feelings at the time, considering I was (and even with weight loss and STILL) about twice her size. What fueled her though was that she'd gained the freshman 15, and through her eyes, she didn't appear to be, 'paper thin and attractive like all the other girls from her hometown'. I was worried, but things really took a turn for the worse when she confessed to binging and puking. I swear i coulda smacked her.0
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Sounds like a lot of the people you are talking about on here are very insecure with themselves...Sometimes it is attention seeking behavior, but it is fueled by insecurity. Bad attention is still attention. What I would do in this situation is tell her that you are trying to be supportive and there are solutions out there if she wants to change. But, if she doesn't truly want to change, you would greatly appreciate it if she didn't complain about it if she isn't going to take any action to change. If that makes her mad, so be it...you don't need that poison in your life. If she accepts the help, yay!...you have been a good friend. Otherwise, please don't let it get to you..you are taking action and you are brave, motivated and AWESOME!!!0
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It doesn't bother me per say in the sense that I compare her to myself, I think it's the sick irony of conversations with her that revolve around how fat she is. I have tried to be supportive and tell her that she's beautiful and all of that but then she tells me that her husband wants a "fit healthy wife." I have never gotten the impression from him that he puts pressure on her about her weight, and she has never been overweight - other than when she was pregnant, which doesn't count, but she gained almost 100 pounds and took it all off in less than 6 months after giving birth. I guess I worry about her health more than anything, and like I said I have encouraged her to join MFP and she just acts like it's a place for fat people - which is ironic, considering she says she's fat? Sometimes I wonder though, does she have true body image issues, or is she just seeking attention and at the same time attempting to drag me down? My husband says I should blow her off completely, but I hate to have those kinds of relationships with family, KWIM??0
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You can only control your own thoughts and actions,.0
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