Do you know someone like this...?
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Some people do it for attention. Next time she says how fat she is- say " yes you are huge" and then walk away
That's what I was taught to do. It really shuts them up when you agree with them.0 -
2 words..... Skinny Fat
oxymoron anyone? :laugh: :grumble: :noway:0 -
Yeah, it sounds to me like she's the attention seeking type. I don't know her. So, I'm sorry if that comes off rude. But, don't give her what she wants! When she talks about being fat etc and you tell her she's not and she needs more food. She feeds off of that!
She will agree but not do what you say, probably. I would just look at her and not comment. Don't let her think it gets to you or she will keep it up. Just keep a poker face and walk away. Don't give her the attention she is seeking! I hate when people do that *kitten*!
I don't know but I would kill to be 120 lbs! LOL
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Here, try this strategy: BUTT OUT!
Don't mess with what fit people are doing.
If she's 120 - more power to her!
Focus on yourself.
She'd drive me nuts which is why I don't go around nutty people.
Just bug off, and leave this girl be.0 -
It really sounds like she has an eating disorder. She probably also suffers from body dysmorphic disorder. She needs professional help. I feel sorry for her.
Her weight for her height isn't too low but from the sounds of it she is starving herself and doesn't see what you and everyone else see.
Please try to get her some help.0 -
Not all, but definitely some people bring up their skinny bods saying they are fat, fishing for compliments, ie "Your not fat! Your way skinny". Some are very vindictive and feel like a better person if they are thinner than their friend. So instead of saying, "Your fat and I'm skinny. HA HA" They just bring attention to their skinnyness knowing it make their friend who isn't as skinny feel less than. MEAN And then like some have said, to bring attention to themselves without actually going around flaunting their body yelling, "Dont you want to be me?"0
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I would tell her "well you can have 4 egg whites for the same amount of calories and be way more full!". She sounds like a person who is going to not ever change unless she actually seeks professional help. i would try to let it go in one ear and out the other so it doesn't affect your stress level.0
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I don't personally have this problem right now but I have encountered it. I understand your frustrastion. For me, being a rather insecure person myself I don't really get uncomforatble with the fact that skinny people think they are fat, just can't fight the thought of "geez, if they think they are fat they must think I'm disgustiing", when in reality they are so caught up in their own issues they probably haven't even noticed what i look like.
Just be thankful that you aren't in her shoes and when you get to see results you will get to celebrate what you've done through hard work and always be proud of who you are.0 -
After I read this, it made me think of a really black humor sort of joke I've heard before. If you're not into that sort of humor, please ignore...
Next time you see her and she's going on about how fat she is, just put your hand on her shoulder and with as much feigned empathy as you can muster, tell her, "You know something? I think you serve as a true inspiration...
...for crackwhores to lose some weight."
:laugh:
All jokes aside though, she sounds like she has some psychological issues she's dealing with. Whether it's anorexia, bulimia, depression and/or very low self worth, I think the best thing someone like this could be told is that they should seek some counseling or go to their doctor.0 -
I do this as well. I am extremely self conscious about my body. I gained 15 pounds and at 135, I was extremely unhappy with my size. Everyone sees themselves differently. I had a coworker that openly said she wanted to slap me for stating that I was watching calories and passed on a hunk of cake. I usually dont advertise that I think I feel overweight, but decided to do something about the extra 15 NOW before it keeps growing. I am so glad I joined MFP b/c I am eating better and realize how horrible I was eating. Once I get back to 120, I just plan to maintain.0
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yes your friend is skinny and pretty but at the end of the day this girl is at constant battle with herself... she is clearly not happy. I would distance myself from that negative energy as much as possible because it's bringing you down too. If you ignore her she might stop... I think shes insecure and loves the attention of people saying "you're not fat!" Just don't say anything and change the subject and eventually she will see that she isn't going to get any attention like that from you! I'd rather be a few pounds overweight and be content with myself as a person than be insecure and a skinny little *****. Guys can check out chicks like that all day long but if they have no confidence, she's gonna be kicked to the curb.0
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Might be best not to "mind read' why someone does things. Life's hard enough for some people without being judged on top. Might as well just get on with enjoying yours eh?0
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My sister is 5'8" and less than 120lb, and she constantly complains about how huge her thighs are. She thinks they're way out of proportion to the rest of her body (they're not). And also, her "manly shoulders" (her phrasing), which probably only look so large because the rest of her is quite thin.
I'm confident she doesn't have an eating disorder but she's obsessed with her thighs, haha.0 -
Here, try this strategy: BUTT OUT!
Don't mess with what fit people are doing.
If she's 120 - more power to her!
Focus on yourself.
She'd drive me nuts which is why I don't go around nutty people.
Just bug off, and leave this girl be.
You're kind of a jerk, Dude. I'm not in her business, these are the conversations she brings to ME, first of all.
Second of all, your self righteous attitude about "what fit people are doing" only implies that my being fat gives me no right to be concerend for someone I care about just because she's thin. And, by the way, not "fit" at all. Thin does NOT equal fit. Expecially when the being thin comes from eating disorders - in fact, FYI, a 100 pound woman with a severe eating disorder is less healthy than an overweight woman. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Jerk.0 -
Might be best not to "mind read' why someone does things. Life's hard enough for some people without being judged on top. Might as well just get on with enjoying yours eh?
So telling her that she's beautiful the way she is - is judgmental? I'm not allowed to have an opinion? I never said I JUDGED her, her constant "I'm fat" just drives me crazy. I think I'm allowed to say that without being accused of being judgmental.0 -
I'm under 120 and do the same thing. I try not to do it too much around my bf and if i do we kind of joke about it. Like I will say "GAH i have been sitting on my FAT *kitten* all day long. Time to move" And we laugh. Usually I am being serious
Thinner people are insecure too. Many think that food is the enemy. Somedays I feel like the fattest person out there. Others I walk around like a boss.
^ this is me. Just because your 'thin' doesnt mean your happy or think of yourself that way. I am 5'4 117-120 and I genuinely have days where I am convinced that I am very fat. I see my body differently then other people. Don't be so quick to judge somebody just because you think they look skinny.0 -
My sister is 5'8" and less than 120lb, and she constantly complains about how huge her thighs are. She thinks they're way out of proportion to the rest of her body (they're not). And also, her "manly shoulders" (her phrasing), which probably only look so large because the rest of her is quite thin.
I'm confident she doesn't have an eating disorder but she's obsessed with her thighs, haha.
Well I think that we all have areas about ourselves that we would like to improve, no one is perfect or sees themselves as perfect - and that is fine.0 -
I'm under 120 and do the same thing. I try not to do it too much around my bf and if i do we kind of joke about it. Like I will say "GAH i have been sitting on my FAT *kitten* all day long. Time to move" And we laugh. Usually I am being serious
Thinner people are insecure too. Many think that food is the enemy. Somedays I feel like the fattest person out there. Others I walk around like a boss.
^ this is me. Just because your 'thin' doesnt mean your happy or think of yourself that way. I am 5'4 117-120 and I genuinely have days where I am convinced that I am very fat. I see my body differently then other people. Don't be so quick to judge somebody just because you think they look skinny.
AGAIN, I am not JUDGING her. I am concerned about her, and YES her constant "I'm fat" makes me crazy. Would it not make you crazy?
My GOD this garbage where no one can say anything because they are being "judgmental" is just ridiculous.0 -
I have a friend who is a "recovered anorexic" and she drives me nucking futs!!! Some people are mental, just ignore her psycho babble and try to be nice. When all else fails remind yourself that you would never be a 120lb whiny beyotch because you have MFP and wouldn't starve yourself like an idiot! She is missing out by not getting on MFP.
bump .... well said0 -
If any of my thinner friends complain about being fat i just say 'I'm bigger than you so if you're fat what does that make me?' it soon shuts them up. My twin sister,she's a uk size 6 and refuses to buy anything in a size 8 (if the shop has a size 4 she wont buy a size 6 and complains she if cant fit in the 4)0
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Just because someone is not morbidly obese doesn't mean they can't want to be thinner or just not be happy with their body. My goal weight is 110 and being about 8-9 pounds over that makes me feel fat right now. Its not fair that I can't say "wow I need to lose weight" or "I really shouldn't eat that" without people assuming I am fishing for compliments because I don't have a ton of weight to lose, or because they are heavier so it makes them uncomfortable. But someone at 200+ pounds can ***** & moan about weight and thats okay.0
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If any of my thinner friends complain about being fat i just say 'I'm bigger than you so if you're fat what does that make me?' it soon shuts them up. My twin sister,she's a uk size 6 and refuses to buy anything in a size 8 (if the shop has a size 4 she wont buy a size 6 and complains she if cant fit in the 4)
Overweight? Sorry is thats harsh but smaller people shouldn't have to cater to overweight people and their feelings. If I genuinely feel fat or like I over ate or something I'm not going to look around and make sure no one bigger then me is listening. Thats crazy.0 -
I think that people should 'cater for' their friends feelings, i'm not saying look around and make sure theres no-one in ear shot bigger than you.0
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Just because someone is not morbidly obese doesn't mean they can't want to be thinner or just not be happy with their body. My goal weight is 110 and being about 8-9 pounds over that makes me feel fat right now. Its not fair that I can't say "wow I need to lose weight" or "I really shouldn't eat that" without people assuming I am fishing for compliments because I don't have a ton of weight to lose, or because they are heavier so it makes them uncomfortable. But someone at 200+ pounds can ***** & moan about weight and thats okay.
You are obviously more interested in justifying and vindicating yourself than seeing what the point here was. I believe that I clearly stated, several times, that everyone has things they want to improve upon and that's okay. That is not the case here, as I said. I am not going to continue to defend my original point when I made it clear enough to begin with. No one is saying the things you are accusing people of saying here, you are creating something that is not here. Clearly.0 -
I remember always thinking I looked fat....even when I weighed 132 pounds at 5'8.....Now that I am well over that amount, I'd give my left foot to look like that again. Bottom line.....people don't always see reality when they look in the mirror. Try to ignore what she says....I doubt she is saying it with the intention to hurt your feelings.0
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haha I had a friend like that in college. She was always asking, "does this make me look fat" and she was a size 4! :grumble:
One day I snapped and responded back with, "YOU LOOK LIKE A F#@CK$NG BEACHED WHALE! How can you possible consider wearing that in public?! The aquarium called because they're missing shamu."
She never asked for my opinion again :laugh:
In actuality I ended up "breaking up" with this friend because she was DRAMA 110% of the time. Literally she feigned a pregnancy and then a miscarriage to try and keep her boyfriend from breaking up with her :devil: My life is much better without her in it. I feel bad because she clearly needs help, but I'm not qualified, and I have my own sanity to attend to.
I realize this girl you're dealing with is family, so you can exactly break up with her, but I bet you could put some distance between you two. Maybe you could come up with a single response and always repeat it word-for-word every time. That way she might realize how repetitive she's being, and then you can try to take any emotion out of how it makes you feel. "that's too bad" or "how about them Packers?" or "ooooh look something shiny" (then walk away) or get a supply of psychologist's business cards and hand them to her every time.0
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